by Lana Dare
“Bullshit. We’ve just gotta find the right woman for him. He needs to take a wife—to have someone warm and soft to come home to.”
Blade lowered his shoulder, dropping the bag of sugar onto the buckboard and sighing as he straightened. “Don’t hold your breath. Our older brother is too stubborn to lower his guard again.”
With a curse, Phoenix scrubbed a hand over his face. “That chip on his shoulder is gonna get him in trouble one day.”
Blade’s lips twitched. “I’ve never seen trouble that Hawke can’t handle.”
Gripping his brother’s shoulder, Phoenix turned him toward the saloon. “Look at them. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to get between Annie’s thighs again. Look at the way she’s looking at you. Hell, she’s even waving you over. She must like those games you play with her.”
After lowering the bags to the buckboard, Blade shrugged. “She likes ’em. She wiggles that ass at me until I turn her over my knee.” Blade’s eyes narrowed, a small smile playing at his lips. “Tempting, but not as tempting as it used to be.”
Stunned, Phoenix tore his gaze away from the women and faced his brother. “What the hell are you talking about? Look at them. Thick about those creamy breasts and soft thighs.” Phoenix’s cock stirred at the thought of sinking his cock into Betsy’s soft pussy.
Shaking his head, Blade pulled away from his brother to return to the buckboard. “No, thanks. It’s getting boring. I want something a little different now.” Shaking his head, he frowned. “I want someone of my own. Someone who’d be mine to take care of.”
“You’re both turning into old men. I still want some fun.” Frustrated, Phoenix turned and went back into the store to grab another sack of flour. Eyeing Hawke as his oldest brother strode past him, he bent to hoist it over his shoulder and headed back outside. He passed Blade, surprised to see Hawke standing outside, leaning against the buckboard.
After stacking the sack on top of the others, Phoenix eyed his brother. “Something wrong? There are still a lot of supplies to load.”
“I know.” Hawke’s gaze slid to meet Phoenix’s. “I know you like coming to town, but don’t forget what we are. Don’t get too attached to these people, and don’t trust any of them.”
“What’s wrong with them?”
“They can turn on you. The girls at the saloon cater to you because you pay them to. Don’t ever think otherwise.” A muscle worked in his jaw. “I don’t want you to get the idea that you fit in here. You might dress like a white man, but that doesn’t make you one of them.”
Biting back anger, Phoenix crossed his arms over his chest, wishing he could get through to his brother. “I’m not trying to be one of them, but I’m sure as hell not going through life with a chip on my shoulder. Life is what you make of it and I’m sure as hell not going to spend it alone—the way you seem hell bent on doin’.”
Hawke clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing to slivers. “You’ve gotten worse ever since Eb and Jeremiah married Maggie—and since Wyatt and Hayes married Savannah, you’ve been impossible. Men sharing a wife. I know it sounds exciting to you, and it’s a way of life we’ve never even heard of, but don’t think it would work for us. Get it out of your head, Phoenix, or you’re just going to end up miserable.”
“Like you?” With his hands on his hips, Phoenix moved closer, careful to keep his voice low. “I’m not the only one who’s changed. You want what they have, but you just won’t admit it.”
“You have no idea what I want.”
Recognizing his brother’s icy tone and the yearning and anger behind it, Phoenix swallowed his own anger and smiled. “In case you haven’t noticed, there’s not a lot of women around here. Sharing a wife just makes sense. What’s wrong with wanting a woman in my bed every night? What the hell’s wrong with wanting a family? Blade wants the same thing.”
Hawke’s gaze sharpened and narrowed. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting either, but expecting it to happen is just askin’ for trouble.”
Straightening, Hawke turned back toward the store. “Go check out the train station while we finish loading the buckboard.”
Phoenix sighed. “Do you really think anyone’ll be there?”
Hawke shrugged. “We got orders to check, so we check.”
They’d all waited for months for the women and the doctor Eb and Jeremiah had advertised for to make their way to Tulsa looking for Desire, but so far, none had shown up.
Phoenix stilled as something flickered in his brother’s eyes, something that looked very much like regret.
Stepping down from the buckboard, he caught Hawke’s arm as his brother started back toward the store. “You want a woman, too.”
Hawke’s sighed and jerked his arm away. “I have needs like any other man, Phoenix.”
“Then why haven’t you come with Blade and me to the saloon?”
“Too busy and using my money to furnish the house we just built.” He nodded toward Blade as he approached. “Help Blade finish loading the supplies. I’ll go to the train station.”
“Damn it, Hawke!”
Blade shook his head and caught his arm before Phoenix could go after him. “Leave it, Phoenix. Give him a few minutes alone. Let’s get the rest of this loaded. He’s gonna be in a hell of a mood when no one shows up again.”
Watching his brother stride down the street, Phoenix cursed. “What the hell’s wrong with him lately? He’s had a burr under his saddle for a long time, but in the last several months he’s been worse. He avoids Maggie and Savannah as much as possible. Oh, hell. He was hell bent on building that cabin.”
Blade flung a rope across the buckboard and started securing the supplies. “What does that tell you?”
Phoenix sighed, bracing his hands on the back of the buckboard. “That he wants a woman of his own as much as we do.”
“Yeah. He does. Probably more.”
Phoenix frowned, staring after Hawke before turning to Blade. “Why won’t he admit it?”
“You know Hawke.” Blade yanked the rope and knotted it, securing the stack of burlap bags. “He wants a wife, and it pisses him off. He’s already made up his mind that he can’t have one, so wanting a woman to care for infuriates him because he knows it’s futile. He’s getting a little more bitter every day, and seeing the women at the ranch and how happy the others are makes it even worse. That’s why he’s been avoiding them.”
Squinting against the late-day sun, Phoenix gritted his teeth. “There’s no reason we can’t get one of those brides for ourselves. Why the hell is he so damned stubborn?”
Blade smiled at that. “I think he was born that way. Besides, it doesn’t look like any women are showing up, so wantin’ one is just a waste of energy. Go on and get the rest of the supplies. I want to get back to the ranch before it gets too late.”
Phoenix glanced toward the train station as he started back into the store. “Who knows? Maybe Hawke’ll come back with someone.”
Shaking his head, Blade moved around the buckboard to tie the other side. “Doubtful, but if he does, you can be sure she won’t be interested in bastard half-breeds.”
Chapter Three
Irritated at himself, Hawke strode down the street to the train station, anxious to finish the chore so he and his brothers could get back to the ranch.
Each week, someone came to town to stock up on supplies, and they always came on the day the train came in.
Each week, the men at the ranch waited anxiously to see if a potential bride appeared, and each week, they ended up disappointed.
As he walked up the stairs to the platform, he tried to convince himself that he didn’t hope for a woman of his own, too.
Having a woman just wasn’t in the cards for a man like him.
He’d wandered from place to place with his brothers his entire adult life, never fitting in anywhere. He’d finally found a home at the Circle T ranch. He’d made friends there, something he’d never thought possible, and felt as if he belonged for the first time in his
life.
Eb and Jeremiah were easy to work for, and seemed to draw people in who didn’t fit in anywhere else.
They’d become a family, one that Hawke had begun to trust.
He and his brothers had settled in at the ranch, and he’d been content—until the women started coming.
Soon, there would be children running around the ranch—sharp reminders of what he couldn’t have.
What he wanted more with every breath he took.
Restless again, he’d begun to think about moving on.
Another town. Another job.
But he knew he could never escape from himself—or his need for a woman he could love.
Pushing his thoughts aside, he headed toward the counter, standing aside to wait for others to buy their tickets, while scanning the small depot for arriving passengers who might need a ride to the Circle T.
He hated crowds, and being in town smothered him. The activity and number of people all around him made him nervous as hell, and he couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here.
He should have sent Phoenix, but his youngest brother seemed hell bent on goading him into the whorehouse, probably hoping that fucking a woman would somehow change his mood.
Phoenix didn’t understand that it was the yearning for a wife that plagued him—a hunger for a sweet woman who would be strong enough to put up with him and his bad moods.
He wanted a woman of his own—a woman who would accept him for what he was.
He wanted a woman who would look at him the way Maggie and Savannah looked at their husbands—a woman he could protect and give all the love that had been building inside him for years.
It would never happen, but as hard as he tried, he couldn’t fight the yearning inside him.
Fisting his hands at his sides, he called himself all kinds of a fool and concentrated on the throng of people, impatiently scanning the platform.
The fear on people’s faces as they gave him a wide berth irritated him, but at the moment, also gave him a small amount of satisfaction. He was taller than most of the people around him, but their distance made it even easier to see through the crowd. He remained motionless, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited.
Phoenix loved the crowds and the energy of crowds, and Blade didn’t seem to mind one way or the other.
He had a calm about him that nothing seemed to ruffle, an edge to him almost as sharp as Hawke’s.
He didn’t quite understand his brother’s desire to explore the more edgier of sexual acts with women Hawke had always been content to give as much pleasure as he got and give the woman the affection and closeness that would give her the security he knew they craved.
Aware of the wary looks he received, Hawke clenched his jaw and continued to scan his surroundings. Inwardly sighing at the number of people in line, he leaned back against the wall, prepared to wait until the line disappeared before speaking to the man behind the counter. As soon as he confirmed that no one had come in on the train, he could get the hell out of town.
When the line moved again, he found his gaze drawn to a woman standing in it that he hadn’t noticed before.
She didn’t stand much above five feet tall, blending into the crowd with ease.
Watching her, he got the feeling that she wanted to remain unnoticed.
Intrigued and inexplicably drawn to her, he watched her, seeing by her body language the exact moment she realized it.
Stiffening, she somehow managed to make herself appear even smaller, hunching over the small bundle she held tightly in front of her.
She kept her head down, scuffling along as the line moved, making his hands itch to reach for her and tear the ugly, worn scarf away.
It was hot as hell outside, but she gripped the scarf tightly against her neck as if freezing.
He couldn’t take his eyes from her, finding himself captivated by her defensive posture. Lifting his gaze, he searched for anyone who might have accompanied her, his hands clenching into fists at the thought of her being with a man who couldn’t give her the confidence she appeared to desperately need.
Finally she reached the front of the line, and he stepped closer, irritated that she wouldn’t look up at him.
And then she did, and the kick to his gut almost took him to his knees.
Her stunning blue eyes met his, the impact stealing his breath.
She was pale—too pale, her delicate features making her stunning blue eyes appear too large for her face.
The sadness and desperation in them tugged at his heart, his chest swelling with the knowledge that he could wipe the sadness from her eyes—if only she would let him close enough.
Cursing himself for his fanciful thoughts, he continued to watch her, unable to look away.
The flash of fear in her eyes angered him more than usual, but she seemed to be afraid of every man who got close to her—not just him.
“Excuse me. I’m going to Desire. To the Circle T Ranch. Can you tell me how to get there?”
Entranced by her soft voice, and distracted by the vision of her whispering to him in the dark, he didn’t catch the meaning of her words at first.
When he did, his heart leapt, the longing to make her his own as sudden as it was unexpected. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his heart pounding nearly out of his chest. “I’m Hawke Royal. I’m from the Circle T.”
He wanted her—badly.
He wanted to surround her with all the warmth he could give her, and wipe the sadness and loneliness from her eyes.
Her beautiful eyes went wide, and she looked as if she might bolt, until Lee, the man at the counter, smiled—a tender smile Hawke had never seen from the elderly man before. “He’s tellin’ the truth, ma’am. He’s from the Circle T. He’s trustworthy. The men on the Circle T are the most trustworthy men I’ve ever known. I’d trust him with my life.”
He turned to Hawke, but Hawke barely glanced at him. “Hey, Hawke. When I saw you standing there, I knew you were looking for one of those brides the Tylers advertised for.”
Hawke nodded, anxious to get her away from the crowd so he could have her undivided attention, biting back a grimace when she deftly avoided his touch. “Thanks, Lee.” Taking her arm in a light grip, he bent low, instinctively lowering his tone the way he did when dealing with a frightened animal. “We’re attracting a lot of attention.”
Nodded, she went with him. “Is the Circle T close to Desire?”
“The Circle T is Desire. The men who own it are building a town, and women’s safety is one of their main priorities.”
“Are there many women there?”
Frowning when she stiffened again, he shrugged. “Only two so far. The owners share a wife—the reason they bought the place to begin with. They don’t want their wife open to criticism. The sheriffs also share a wife.”
Stopping abruptly, she stared up at him, the sadness in her beautiful eyes replaced by shock and intrigue. “They share a wife? Oh, God. Are you telling me that the women are outnumbered?
Hawke rushed to reassure her, her fear of men obvious. “Yes, they’re outnumbered, but they’re protected at all costs. Women aren’t exactly growing on trees there. It only makes sense to share them. Believe me, the women are guarded and spoiled. Their safety is our first priority. They make it work and they all seem really happy.” Fighting bitterness, he took her arm again and led her away from the crowd, biting back a groan at the quiver that went through her.
Her responsiveness to his light touch created an ache inside him that he could no longer ignore.
He forced a smile, wanting her more with each passing minute. “Did you come to be a bride?”
God help him.
He wanted to throw her over his shoulder and carry her to the minister, staking his claim before taking her to the ranch and letting one of the others have her.
If he didn’t take her as his own, he’d have to avoid her as well, because he sure as hell couldn’t stand seeing her with another man.
>
She didn’t answer at first, her eyes darting from one person to another as if she expected someone to jump out and attack her at any moment, her fear heightening his senses. She shrugged her small shoulders. “I-uh, yes. I guess I did. Um, who am I supposed to marry?” Her cheeks turned an enticing shade of pink, but it was her eyes that enthralled him. They gleamed with curiosity despite her obvious shyness, tugging at his heart and making him wish for things that could never be. “Am I supposed to marry you?”
Hawke stilled, his heart pounding furiously at the trust displayed when she edged closer as a group of people passed, including the men who’d avoided him earlier.
Anger fisted his hands at his sides, the recognition that no woman would ever want to tie herself to a man like him hurting like never before. “You wouldn’t want me for a husband. There are several men at the ranch looking for a bride. You can meet them and decide who you want to marry.”
His words sounded colder than he’d intended, but the look of panic in her eyes created an odd sensation in his stomach.
Her smile had a nervousness to it that made his arms itch to hold her. “Why wouldn’t I want a man like you?”
* * * *
Sarah found herself edging closer to him, uneasy at being in such a large crowd. Expecting Willy and his men to appear at any moment, she tried to hide herself, keeping Hawke between her and the bustle of people on the platform.
The men who’d just passed her looked at her the way Willy had, scaring her so badly that she edged closer to Hawke.
He had a way of talking to her—looking at her—that gave her a warm feeling inside, much like the feeling she’d gotten from Mr. Anderson, Mr. Smith, and Mr. Johnson.
Over the years, she’d learned to trust her instincts, and her instincts told her that she could trust Hawke.
He was a big man, so it proved easy to hide behind him, but he drew attention to himself like no man she’d ever met.
Wearing a gun belt with a gun and what looked like an axe dangling from it, he looked more than capable of taking care of himself. With a bow strapped to his back and some kind of oddly-shaped wooden stick over his shoulder next to it, he was an intimating sight.
