That's how Karen found her snuggled up at home with Lancelot on Friday night. “I didn't expect to get you. I thought you might be out with your new man friend,” Karen teased.
“Oh, he's smarter than that. As much as we enjoy each other's company, he doesn't give up on what he needs,” Kimberlee replied.
“Yeah, Mike's the same way about his car time every Saturday morning. It used to hurt my feelings, but then I figured out he's a better person afterwards,” Karen responded. “I wonder if men are better at filling their tanks than women are.”
“I don't know. Maybe only at the Breaking Point? Something to ask Claudia.”
Karen laughed. “That's exactly what I called about. I'm wondering if you'll make a list with me. You know, of all the things we want Claudia to teach us.”
“Sure, but how much paper do you have? ’Cause it's gonna be a long one!”
Karen laughed again and then had an idea. “Maybe we could start with categories? Like money, fatherhood, health, stuff like that.”
“Or maybe all the things that men do that make us wonder what ‘the good reason’ is?” Kimberlee asked.
The two of them worked for more than an hour on “the list.” It was daunting how much they didn't know. But exciting too, Karen thought.
CLAUDIA prepared for the arrival of her guests, filled with satisfaction for having completed the Language of Heroes. This journey was exhausting but also exhilarating. She felt compassion for Karen and Kimberlee, who had received in six short weeks the equivalent of what Claudia had studied for several years. She was immensely proud of them and excited about their futures.
What about my future? she thought. While she had taught Kimberlee and Karen the foundation of the Queen's Code, she hadn't taught them everything. Sadly, not even close. There were still many areas in which they could revert to their old adversarial ways simply by not understanding what to expect from men.
She could imagine Kimberlee struggling with questions about courtship and commitment in her budding relationship with Jack. She could easily anticipate Karen making her new baby her first priority and leaving Mike ignored and emasculated. And that was just the beginning ….
I should make a list of all the things I have learned about men for the last six decades. Karen could probably help me organize the information. Even if we don't end up with enough time to transmit it, they would know what to research on their own.
She became conscious of a weight attempting to settle on her shoulders and recognized the burden of accountability. She shrugged it off, reminding herself that she could have a list but she was determined to follow their agenda. Be the resource, she thought and felt the weight release, mostly. Starting next week. I have one more thing to do.
With a contented sigh, Claudia finished stirring the lemonade and put it in the refrigerator for later. She was looking forward to meeting Jack and thanking him for the glow in Kimberlee's cheeks. And she had observed the conspicuous fullness of Karen's bust. She hoped to congratulate Mike on his newest project under construction but would honor their privacy if they did not make an announcement.
KAREN had brought their list and was anxious to get started on it. Her plan was to interview Claudia on every question and subject.
But Claudia was in a festive mood and waved away the list. “Beginning next Saturday, and for as many as I have left, I will be your encyclopedia. Gladly. First, there is something that your despair last week reminded me of, Karen. That we need to celebrate our accomplishments.”
“What do you mean?” Karen asked, perplexed by the statement and a little vexed at postponing her research.
“A wise man once said, ‘Celebrate your accomplishments so thoroughly as to burn the bridge to whom you were before,’” Claudia responded. “This is extremely important, especially on a lifelong journey. You must stop from time to time and lay claim to the progress you have made. And close off the option of retreating to a smaller version of yourself. Your accomplishments may be new skills or abilities, or new horizons that you could not see before. It could be new relationships or new possibilities in existing relationships. By claiming them, you mark your progress. It helps to fight off the despair when the way before you seems endless.”
Claudia added with a flourish, “I am claiming a new horizon: my family's knowledge going out into the world. Thank you.”
“Why ‘thank you’?” Kimberlee asked.
“Because you two created that horizon. In your thirst for knowledge, your courage in applying it, and your commitment to giving it to others,” Claudia replied.
Karen could hardly believe her ears. “Does this mean that we have your permission to teach other women?” she gulped. “Now?”
She held her breath as Claudia searched both their faces. She finally nodded, “Yes. It does.”
Karen replied, as the tears overflowed, “Thank you.”
Claudia took her hand. “As I said, Karen, thank you. For wanting it, for working for it. And for having the courage and audacity to teach others.”
“Raul wants someone to teach the other employees what I've learned. Both the men and women. Perhaps you could start there, Karen,” Kimberlee said.
Karen wiped her face and laughed nervously, “Dive in the deep end, huh?”
“My suggestion would be for you two to teach together. For support. For inspiration. For the different examples you can give,” Claudia said.
Karen turned to Kimberlee and they locked eyes. After a moment's hesitation, Kimberlee said, “I think I would enjoy that very much.”
Smiling, Karen replied, “Me too. I think you'd make a great partner.”
“Thank you. I think I'm learning to be.”
“We both are,” Karen responded. “Okay, I'll play this accomplishment game. I claim the freedom from having to do everything myself. I need help and I am able to ask for it.”
“Bravo!” Claudia commended.
“And I claim the ability to be supported,” Karen added. “I can speak my heart's desire and make deals.”
Kimberlee nodded. “That's a good one. Can I play?”
“Of course,” Karen and Claudia replied together and laughed.
“Then I claim the Queen's Code,” Kimberlee said earnestly. “For myself and anyone I'm friends with,” she said, tearing up. Wonder what that's about? Karen thought.
A deep voice inserted itself in their conversation. “Would now be a good time to give you a gift?” Burt asked.
As the three women turned toward the big man, Karen thought how appropriate it was for him to be part of this. Then she noticed his hands were behind his back and he was attempting to conceal something rather large with his body.
She remembered the astonishing gift he had presented last year: A garden bench carved with a mural depicting the Stages of Development. “What have you been up to now?” Karen teased.
In a grand gesture only a tall man could pull off, Burt held out his arms and placed before Kimberlee and Karen beautifully handcrafted music stands. Karen's was a deep warm brown with handsome traditional hardware. Collapsible, how clever. There he goes giving his blessing again.
Knowing Burt was a carver at heart, she looked to see how he might have adorned this very practical tool. When she saw the image, her lower lip quivered and the tears overflowed again.
KIMBERLEE had been enjoying the warmth of their conversation, noticing how close the three of them had become. And how comfortable she felt with women now. Funny, I thought it was only men I needed to work out.
Now, standing before her grandfather's gift, she was speechless. The black was as perfect for her as the warm brown was for Karen. The sleek, modern hardware pleased her immensely. The implication of the teaching tool was unavoidable and she willingly embraced the responsibility of her priceless inheritance.
Like Karen, it was the image in the center of the stand that caused her to lose it. How did he manage to capture that expression? she wondered, as she marveled through tears at the perfect
depiction of Claudia earnestly instructing them. He even caught the twinkle in her eyes.
When both women turned toward him, their question implied, Burt answered, “This way, no matter what happens, and no matter where you go with the information, she'll always be with you.”
Appropriately, the man who foresaw this new future became the center of their embrace.
BURT reluctantly disentangled himself from the glorious hugs to answer the doorbell. Opening the front door, he instantly took the measure of the man standing on his porch. Good.
“I presume you're the one that's been making my granddaughter so happy,” he said.
Jack nodded and replied gruffly, “I hope to, sir. She's worth a kingdom.”
Satisfied, Burt shook his hand and invited him in.
The End
…and the Beginning
Author's Acknowledgments
In the twenty-year gestation of this book, I have been enriched by tens of thousands of people without whom The Queen's Code would never exist. Thank you to all of the graduates of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®, for your courage in applying this information and creating such beautiful connections and relationships. Thank you to all of the men who participated so generously in our research individually, on “man panels,” and in our workshops. To our courageous workshop leaders, the inspiring PartnershipWorks team, the delightful PAX Mastery & Leadership participants and the out-of-the box Queen's Code publishing team, thank you.
There are individuals who have contributed in important ways: Thank you to Dennis Caco, “PAX Special Forces,” for your creativity, tenacity and huge effort in bringing my life's work to the world. Thank you and bless you, Leslie Rice, for the super-woman and super partner that you are; your honesty, generosity and brilliance are priceless. Thank you to the incredible core PAX staff: Janice Marker, Jim Rice, Heather Villatoro, Michelle Miller, Cathy Beaumont and the Garden of Customer Care. Thank you to Destry Hines and Len Lippman, for turning our every whim into workable reality.
Thank you, Joe and Michele, for the love, support and curiosity that saves, inspires and renews me. Thank you, my dear friends, Barbara, Mercer and Gabe for decades of love, tenderness and encouragement. Thank you, Bonnie Solow, for believing in me and this book, even when we left the beaten path. Thank you, Joan McClain, for giving all you gave that this should exist for others.
Contributing directly to a better book: Thank you Linda Sivertsen, Kit Bailey and Arielle Ford.
To my family, whose love, support and playfulness make my life unbelievably great, thank you a million times. Greg, I couldn't do any of this without you. Jeff, Claire and Annie, how lucky I am to be part of your lives!
The Queen’s Code Page 32
