“No, I don’t think so. Are you angry?”
“No. It’s just the first time you’ve ever said anything like that. Remember? I was upset because you didn’t, and so you started calling me Tiger. Which is fine.” He really wasn’t awake yet.
“I honestly don’t know why I said it just now. It just happened.”
“Like last night, cara?”
“Only not with such a drastic outcome.”
“Honey. I like it. I like that you said it. I know we’re bond mates, but this makes us closer somehow.”
“That’s funny, because for some reason, I feel differently toward you this morning. Closer, more confident, more alive or complete. I don’t know how to describe it.”
“Come back to bed, cara. It’s too early.”
“It’s nine o’clock in the morning, Dam.”
“Still too early. I haven’t been sleeping well. Come back to bed.”
Setting her tea aside, she followed her muzzy mate back to bed. Snuggled up with her back against his chest, enfolded in his arms, he was soon deeply asleep again. She wasn’t far behind. When they finally woke, it was almost too late for lunch.
“You don’t want to go down for lunch, cara?” he asked again.
“No. I just want to spend time with you. We’ve had so little alone time lately, with everything else that’s going on.”
“So, I’ll have you all to myself? Bene.”
“Honestly, Tiger. You’re impossible,” she said, shaking her head at his advances. “It’s not like I ration it out.”
“Now that is true. You’ve spoiled me, Gattina. You should learn how to say ‘no’ once in a while. It would be good for me.”
“And how does one actually say ‘no’ and make it stick, with you?” she demanded.
“That, I don’t know. It never happens,” he replied, his lips caressing her bare shoulders. “So I guess you should spoil me some more.”
“Our lunch should be here soon, Damiano. Do you want room service to find us in flagrante delicto?”
“In what, cara?” he asked in a distracted manner.
“In flagrante delicto, you know, caught right in the act, going at it?”
“I don’t mind,” he returned. “I’ll be too busy enjoying my wife to be bothered with some little room service person. I’m sure they’ve seen it before.” Tugging the shoulders of her gown down a little further, he resumed showering her shoulder with tender kisses and the occasional nip.
“But they haven’t seen me before, and I’d prefer to keep it that way,” she told him, struggling to pull up her sleeve and derail his thoughts. Well, they were derailed from that track onto another, as he captured her in his arms and began an amorous assault on her neck.
Attempting to extricate herself from his embrace, she found she’d simply turned toward him, his fingers now entwined in her hair, keeping her neck and throat available for further advances.
“Damiano, please,” she implored. “Lunch will be here any minute.”
“You talk too much, cara,” he said, before he shifted his weight slightly, forced her head back even more and forestalled any further conversation with a passionate kiss.
Easing her backwards toward the sofa, he guided her until she was lying on her back, his arms still holding her firmly as he knelt on the floor beside her. Her dressing gown, which hid nothing anyway, had come unfastened and fallen open, exposing her completely. Her hair still in his grasp, his body on hers, his other hand was free to tease wherever it liked.
Of course, now that she was completely aroused, room service rang the bell. “Un momento,” she heard, as Damiano released her and hurried to the door.
After the tray was brought in and signed for, Damiano leaned against the door frame and took in the sights for a moment before saying, “Cara mia, you must learn to control yourself. You knew lunch was about to arrive.”
“Bastard,” she spat at him, throwing a cushion at his face. Pulling her dressing gown closed, she swished past him to the table and slid haughtily into one of the chairs. Damiano, chuckling in amusement, joined her, eyes twinkling. She couldn’t keep up the act and burst out laughing.
“Well, you can satisfy one appetite or the other, cara. It is for you to decide.”
“Let’s stick with this one first. The other one can wait, and the way you are, I may need the energy from lunch to survive.”
They chatted amiably while they ate, and poured coffee after lunch. Karianna stacked the lunch dishes up on the tray to make room on the table. Leaning on his hands across from her, Damiano seemed to be mulling over something.
“Okay, Tiger. What is it?”
“I was just thinking about this morning, when you called me ‘honey,’ and wondering why, after a year together, this has come about. It is nothing really. I’m just curious.”
She thought about it for a minute, sipping coffee to see if it would jump-start her brain. “I’m not sure if I can even figure it out for myself, Dam. It’s almost like some part of my mind was still resisting the whole thing, you and me. Even before bonding, I was very attracted to you, beginning to love you. Maybe not as much as I hoped to love someone I was married to, but our circumstances were a little weird.”
He laughed, nodded his head and replied, “I suppose ‘a little weird’ describes it pretty well.”
“Anyway,” she continued, swirling the coffee left in her cup, “after our bonding, I felt closer to you, more comfortable with you, and thought I loved you more than before. Maybe I did, I don’t know now. But I’m not sure I loved you beyond physical, sexual attraction. Am I making any sense?”
“I’m trying to understand, but am I about to be very disappointed?”
“Hold on. I’ve not finished. I thought I loved you, wanted to love you. I mean, if bonding means what you say it means, we’re together forever. I hoped to God there was love in there somewhere. But it worried me that I didn’t seem to love you enough, or in the right way.”
“I believe you love me,” Damiano expressed earnestly. “And I know beyond a doubt that I love you, cara. I loved you before we were paired, adored you, had to have you. I would have died for you, cara, before we were bond mates. And now? More than that, I love you.”
“I know, Tiger,” she answered softly, “and that was my problem. I knew how you felt, and no one had ever felt that way about me before. You really care about me, tell me I’m beautiful, treat me like a lady, even if I’m from a backwoods little hole on Earth.”
“What does it matter where you’re from? It is you I love, not someplace on Earth I’ve never seen.”
“Which is my point. Those things don’t matter to you. You love me for who I am, and you make me like myself, too.”
“But I still don’t understand, Kari. How does this fit?”
“Some part of me was holding back, not wanting to let go. I guess, somehow, I thought you were too good to be true and I was afraid of getting hurt. I mean, I kind of understand the business you’re in and it bothers me a little. Some part of my brain was trying to protect me from that reality.”
Damiano’s face went from attentive to crestfallen in a second. “Cara mia, if I could explain…But there are things I dare not tell you now. Maybe never. Trust me when I say I will never knowingly hurt you, or betray your trust in me. I so wish I could…but no. I cannot, dare not, for your sake and mine. If this means you can never really love me, I’m sorry, cara, to have allowed things to go this far.”
Needing more coffee, her hand trembled as she poured the steaming black elixir into her cup. She tried to get her brain to cooperate and help them both understand. The clue was right there, dodging around corners, hiding from her.
“Alright. Remember you said that some part of me needed to initiate last night’s events?”
“Yes, I said that.”
“Okay. I think it was that part of me which thought I was too emotionally attached to you. Especially here, after surprising me with an anniversary trip, when I didn’t even know wh
en our anniversary was.”
“Don’t you like it, cara? We can do something else.”
“No, that’s not it at all. I’m delighted that you remembered and that you love me enough to do something special. Like I said, it was just one little part of me trying to keep me from harm.” She paused for a moment to think.
“I’m trying to understand,” Damiano insisted. “Go ahead.”
After thinking for a moment, she continued. “Last night it decided to act by attacking you out of the blue, initiating yet another episode of bonding between us. Which you must admit was nearly as radical as the first one.”
“Yes, I was surprised. After our initial bonding, most of the rest was fairly normal, for us. We’re cats. You tend to be pretty physical, and I like to get a little rough sometimes. But you’re right. Our first bonding and last night were much more than that.”
Searching his face, she wasn’t sure she wanted her next question answered. “What would have happened last night if you had not dominated the situation?” she asked quietly. “Any ideas?”
He thought about it for a minute, shrugged his shoulders and said, “I have no idea. My first thought would be a weakening of the bond and a struggle for dominance, until it was settled one way or the other.”
“I think part of my mind was trying to free me from what it saw as a dangerous pairing. But it was defeated again, just as it has been every time we’ve come together that way.”
“Do you want to be free, Karianna?”
“No! Will you let me finish? I think I’ve got it figured. Last night you were once again strong enough to force me into complete submission. We fell asleep exhausted, woke for a short while and went back to bed. You were so worn out you were still asleep at nine o’clock in the morning.”
“That was really weird. I never sleep in so late.”
“I know. And when I woke up, I felt more alive and aware, more at peace, confident—euphoric almost. And when I heard you calling for me, worried that something might be wrong, it just felt right to call you ‘honey,’ because I…” For the very first time, she wanted to say it, but she couldn’t get the words to come out. So she tried again. “I…Oh, Dam, because I love you. I really do. I finally know what it is to truly love someone.” Tears poured down her face in torrents at the emotional release.
“Karianna, mia amore, please don’t cry. No, mia amante, mia vita, per favore.” Carrying her as if she weighed no more than a feather, he cradled her in his arms as she clung to him. Snuggling her closely on the sofa, he whispered comforting words in two or three languages. But the language was irrelevant, for the meaning was clear.
When Karianna woke up and opened her eyes, Damiano was dozing, still holding her tightly. His warmth was comforting, his scent soothing. Still so very tired, she squiggled down a little and went back to sleep.
“Cara, amante.” The words were no more than whispers. She took a deep breath and stretched a little. “Amore mia, wake up.” She yawned, and then tried to pry her eyes open. Finally succeeding, she peered into Damiano’s decidedly handsome face, reached up and drew his face down to hers. His kiss was warm and tender rather than passionate. His normally happy, contented face showed worry lines around his eyes, and the worried frown marred his features.
“Karianna, are you alright?”
“I’m fine, lover,” she said with a smile, startling them both. “Just too much emotion to hold in. It’s been a long fight to get here from where I’ve come.”
“Honey, now lover. Are these words you used to your first husband?”
“No, he was more dumbass, bastard, and son-of-a-bitch,” she admitted.
“No really, cara. I am happy with them either way.”
“Damiano, I never called Trae either of those. Like I said, dumbass was right up there on the list.”
It was fairly late in the evening, but not too late for dinner. Karianna wore a floor-length black, sleeveless sheath with pearls. Damiano also wore black, including a black silk shirt, black tie, and diamond pin, like some dark underlord stepping out of the shadows.
“Looks like I dance with the Devil tonight, lover,” she teased.
“Il Diavolo? I’ve been compared to him before. And it looks like they were right. I seem to have tempted an angel down to hell and made her my bride.”
“No wonder it’s so hot in here,” she countered.
“No more heaven for you, angelo mio. You’ve fallen too far.” With a swat on the bottom, he shooed her out the door.
She just had to make one more quip. “Does that mean our children will be hell-spawn?”
“One more word, cara, and we go back inside so I can spank your bottom. Now go!” With another swat to demonstrate, he finally got her off the subject and on the way to the restaurant.
Karianna was perusing the menu when she heard a quick intake of air from Damiano. “Something wrong?” she asked.
“Dio, Kari! I hadn’t even thought about children. Caro Dio, I have taken no precautions, things have moved so quickly…Cara?”
“Lover, it’s fine. Really, calm down.” She grasped his hand in hers and held it tightly. “Don’t worry. I was on a contraceptive with Trae, and spoke to Dr. Kelsey right after we got together. We’re protected, Tiger, until we decide if or when we want to start a family.”
“Why did you say that on the way here, about children?” he asked, beginning to calm down.
“It was just a progression on the subject—the Devil, the fallen angel, hell-spawn. Word association. Nothing more, honey. Don’t worry.”
“Grazie a Dio one of us was thinking. I wouldn’t mind having a family, but right now would not be a good time to begin.” After a pause he turned dark, troubled eyes toward her. “Cara, do you want children?”
“We’ll see how things turn out, Dam. There’s too much to worry about now. Once your business deal is finished and things can be quieter, we’ll talk.”
Their meal was excellent, but the mood around the table was more subdued than usual. Her crazy brain hadn’t even considered the impact the subject of children might have on her mate.
They strolled through the gardens after dinner, arms around each other enjoying the evening. Damiano had been so gentle toward her after her tearful epiphany, she wasn’t sure he was the same man. And once he’d begun thinking about children, he’d been even gentler.
“Damiano, I’m the same woman I was before. I’m not fragile and I won’t break,” she explained. “The tears were tears of joy at finally knowing love, and finding that I love you. It was just very emotional for me and I needed to let it out.”
“I was so worried, cara. I was afraid you felt trapped, imprisoned. I knew the bonding should bring us closer, but I’d never really talked about it with anyone. I didn’t know what I would do if you wanted to go, mi amore. Please, never leave me.”
“No, Damiano, I’ll never leave. You are my husband, my bond mate, my lover. Where would I go?”
Gathering her in his arms, his kiss was sweet and endearing. “Mia amante, mia vita. My lover, my life. I will always take care of you. For as long as my heart beats, it is yours.”
Chapter 27
Karianna woke to the sound of raindrops on the balcony. She had always liked the rain, and had often taken long walks under an umbrella to enjoy the quiet. Tossing the covers back, she rolled out of bed, put on her dressing gown, and went to watch the rain.
Damiano paced the floor, every inch an angry cat. His kiss was brief and unsatisfying, the hug nearly an afterthought. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Nasty weather. Rain is depressing.”
“You don’t like the rain?” she asked.
“No.”
“Can you elaborate? I always thought it was kind of nice. So quiet and restful, unless there’s thunder.”
“Elaborate?” he snarled. “Fine. It is wet, it makes spots on my clothes, ruins my shoes and makes my fur all matted and smelly.”
She couldn’t contain her amusement a
t the image of a large black leopard dripping with water, ears laid back, and snarling at the sky.
“It’s not funny,” Damiano protested. “First I get wet, and then I have to get even wetter to get clean. Most annoying.”
“But you love to swim or take a bubble bath. Why don’t you like the rain? It’s like a shower.”
“It isn’t anything like a shower. It’s cold, you can’t turn it off, and it makes nasty puddles everywhere.”
“Alright, so we won’t go out sightseeing today. We can stay in and relax.”
“How can I relax with that noise?”
“Really, Dam, it’s not that loud. We can put on some music or watch a movie.” After waiting for some sort of answer, she gave up on conversation. “Fine. I’m making some coffee. If you want any, come in the kitchen.”
Still chuckling to herself, Karianna turned on the tap, let the water run so it would be fresh, and put a coffee packet into the machine. Pushing the button to turn it on, she heard it filling. So she closed the tap in the sink and went in to relax on the sofa until the coffee was ready.
Her usually even-tempered husband stood, arms crossed over his chest, glaring out the glass doors at the pouring rain. If he’d been in his cat form, his ears would have been laid flat against his head, tail lashing.
“Damiano, if you don’t like the weather, draw the drapes and come sit down.” She heard a low, chesty growl in return. “Don’t you growl at me, Damiano Leone. I’ll come over and smack your nose again.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” he retorted, his head snapping around.
“Well, I’m not going to stay in all day with a sulky leopard. So either close the drapes and shut out the rain, or go back to bed and sleep it off. But don’t ruin my day being snarky.”
“If you like the rain so much, why don’t you go for a walk and let me sulk? And if you get all wet and filthy, don’t complain to me about it.”
“I do not believe what I’m hearing. One of the most powerful men on the planet, and a great big leopard as well, and you’re put off by a little water falling from the sky? Really, Tiger, get a grip.”
Gambler's Folly (Bookstrand Publishing Romance) Page 19
