She tried to hide her disbelief. “Of course you were, my lord.”
“What? No argument?”
“Why argue, when I know that you know I’m right.”
He leaned forward, his hands palm-down on the desk. “This is exactly why I need to speak with you. You seem to be on a quest to disrupt my life at every turn, and I would like to know why you feel so compelled to help me, as you call it.”
She smiled at him, silently thanking God for the door He’d just opened before her. “The answer is simple, my lord. I’m trying to make you realize you are special to God and to your nephew. Too special to allow yourself to be locked away from the world.”
❧
Nicholas sat stunned at her words. Not just because she had the audacity to speak to him so freely, but because her words touched something deep within his heart.
He’d told himself time and time again he didn’t need anyone. He’d done and seen horrific things during the war, and he had allowed his self-pity, upon his return to England, to destroy his father’s health. He’d been engaged to a nice young woman who didn’t deserve the disservice he paid her by breaking their engagement. And he mourned a brother he should have spent more time with.
He’d convinced himself he deserved to be alone. Little did he realize the loneliness would consume him to the point of madness. In the past, he’d enjoyed the company of others—always surrounded by friends and fellow officers. To be constantly alone was not an easy state to maintain, no matter how much Nicholas thought he deserved it.
Especially with such a lovely, vivacious young woman within his household.
How often had he watched her from the window of his library as she played with his nephew or laughed with her friend? Christina Wakelin made him wish for things he had no right to wish—that he’d been a better man, maybe even a whole different person.
It was ironic that he, a man who once put such a high regard on his status and title, was attracted to a mere vicar’s daughter.
He’d acknowledged that truth three days ago when she’d caught him down in the garden. She came walking up to him, holding his nephew, and cheerfully dumped the child in his arms.
Nicholas almost dropped him he’d been so surprised. Fortunately, he recovered fast enough to just as quickly transfer him back to Christina.
Couldn’t she understand he was actually afraid he’d fail Tyler just as he had all the others in his life?
“I don’t want anyone’s help, Miss Wakelin. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I—”
But Christina interrupted him. Maybe he’d hoped she would. “But Ty needs your help, Lord Thornton. He’s beginning to respond to our faces, and I think it would provide more of a balance in his life to see a man’s face as well as a woman’s.” She stepped closer to the desk. “Every boy needs a father in his life, and you are the closest he will ever have.”
The brunt of her words hit him squarely in the conscience. “I’ll give you this much, Miss Wakelin, you certainly know what strings to pull to get what you want.”
For the first time since she walked into his room, he saw her cheery smile turn into a frown. “You make me sound calculating, and I’m not that way at all!”
“I believe I would use the word cunning.” He studied her thoughtfully. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you manage to make everyone around here do exactly what you want. Most of the time, you make them think it was their idea instead of yours.”
“I simply treat people the way I would like to be treated, with kindness and concern. That is why they—” she suddenly stopped. “Wait one minute! Have you been spying on me?”
“I was observing, nothing more,” he answered with a shrug. “I had to make sure you and Mrs. Sanborne were giving sufficient care to my only heir.”
She stared at him and then seemed to accept his answer. “Since you seem to care a little for your nephew’s welfare, can you agree to at least spend time with him once a day?”
“Only if you are there too. I refuse to spend too much time in that Sanborne woman’s presence.”
Christina laughed. “I promise she’s not as annoying as you think.”
Nicholas shuddered. “I don’t care. Either you are there or there’s no visit.”
“Of course I will be there, but,” Christina paused, then continued cautiously, “I don’t understand why you’ve just chastised me for forcing my presence on you, and now you are blackmailing me to be with you every day. I’m afraid I’m a little at sea, Sir.”
Nicholas felt like the idiot she just described. What was the matter with him? What had possessed him to make such a stipulation?
Because you are attracted to her, a little voice whispered in his mind. Because she makes you feel more alive than you’ve felt in years.
Something deep inside him wanted to reach out and take the friendship she was offering, but another feeling warred within him at the same time. Guilt and fear would not allow him to act on his attraction, but neither would they stop him from spending a little time in her sunny presence.
“You simply presented a good argument and I have reconsidered. I’ve seen how good you are with the babe, and I thought he would be more comfortable with you in the room,” he said by way of excuse.
Those green eyes of hers seemed to see too much as she studied him warily. He was terrified she could read his thoughts. But then she smiled at him and stood up from her chair. “That’s a nice way of putting it.”
He stood also. “Shall we meet after the noon hour?”
She was clearly surprised he wanted to meet so soon, but she agreed. “That will be fine, my lord. Until then,” she answered with a small bow and left the room.
Six
“I don’t know what to do with ’em, Miss. My papa says ’e’ll be throwing ’em into the river ’n be done wi’ ’em if I don’t find ’em a ’ome,” little William Potts told Christina. Tears made dirty streaks down his freckled cheeks. Six newborn puppies squirmed about in the weathered wooden crate he was holding.
Christina looked worriedly at Helen and then back at the puppies. She’d been summoned to her own home by their housekeeper just as she was about to go with Mrs. Sanborne to meet the earl. “William, these pups look too young to be given away. Where is the mother dog?”
“Got run over by a coach, she did.”
“Oh, dear!” Christina cried, her heart always soft toward animals. And to little boys, she silently added as she looked at the six year old. “I suppose you want me to care for them?” she asked, although she already knew the answer. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to nurse puppies whose mother had died or rejected them. Normally she had plenty of time for such things, but now she had so much on her mind.
As the boy nodded, Christina sighed. “I suppose I’ll have to take them then.” She took the crate from him and sent him on his way.
“Your father warned you there was no more room for animals, Christina!” Helen reminded her. “He’s not going to be happy you’ve taken on more.”
“I was just thinking the same thing,” Christina admitted, smiling down at the defenseless little creatures. “I suppose I’ll just have to find somewhere to put them at Kenswick,” she said as a plan formulated in her mind.
“Oh, no, you cannot risk it. If Lord Thornton finds out about them, he’ll be furious.”
“You’re probably right.”
“There’s no probably to it! You know he will be!”
Christina threw Helen a confident look as she shifted the crate for a better hold. “Then we will just make sure he doesn’t find out!”
Helen shook her head and groaned. “You have more temerity than brains! This will be worse than the tree incident, I just know it.”
“I’ve come to realize the earl is not as bad as we first thought. He growls and frowns a lot, but he’s mostly harmless.” She turned and began walking back to her house so she could get some needed supplies. Helen followed her.
“Mostly harmless?” Helen
shrieked. “Do you call participating in two duels mostly harmless?”
“Really, Helen, you bring that up so often, I think you must be a little fascinated by it.”
“Nothing about that man fascinates me!” Helen stated firmly.
Christina thought Helen protested too much, but she decided not to pursue it. If anyone had a problem with being fascinated by the earl, it was she.
❧
“. . .and it is stupe. . .I mean magnificent how Master Ty is learning to roll, and just yesterday he. . .” Mrs. Sanborne prattled on, but the earl had only one thing on his mind at the moment.
Christina had not come.
Hurt and angry, he barely heard what the nanny was saying to him. For ten minutes she’d talked nonstop, enumerating the tiniest details of what the child had been doing. He tried unsuccessfully, several times, to break into the conversation to ask where Christina was.
Finally he could take no more. “Where is she?” he interrupted in a booming voice.
Mrs. Sanborne swallowed hard before she spoke. “I beg your pardon, my lord?”
He made a sweeping motion toward the door with his hand. “Christina. Why isn’t she here with you?”
Mrs. Sanborne’s face cleared as she smiled. “Oh! Why, she was called back to her home just before our meeting. I apologize, but she asked me to let you know, and I forgot.”
The anger immediately faded, and in its place came a relief so fierce it astounded him. Pointedly ignoring that last feeling, he inquired, “I trust everything is all right with her? Her father is not ill?” He was more concerned than he wanted to be.
“I do not think so, but I cannot be sure,” she answered with an apologetic smile.
Preoccupied, Nicholas walked over to the window and peered outside. “Did she say when she would return?”
“No, my lord.” Nicholas heard a rustling sound and knew the woman had walked up behind him. “Would you not like to hold the baby for a moment, my lord?”
Nicholas turned, his eyes fastening on the baby, who already bore a remarkable resemblance to him and his brother. He nodded curtly to the nanny and stood still as she placed the baby into his arms. Nicholas had never felt more awkward and inadequate in his entire life. What did one do when holding an infant?
The baby must have sensed Nicholas’s unease because he squirmed and cried.
Dismayed, Nicholas quickly gave him back to the nanny. “Here, take him,” he ordered, but to his utter amazement, and irritation, she just shook her head and laughed.
“Oh, he’s just not used to you yet. Bounce him a bit and he’ll be just fine,” she assured him.
Nicholas scowled at the woman, only to be met with that same amused expression. First his butler, then his unwanted valet, and now the nanny. Did no one take his orders seriously anymore?
“Bounce him,” she urged again, when he remained stock-still. “You might even try humming a tune. Babies like that, you know.”
“I do not hum,” he muttered, but as silly as it felt, he did begin to bounce the baby.
He didn’t know what bouncing was supposed to accomplish, and apparently the baby didn’t either, because he only cried harder.
Suddenly, like a miracle, the baby stopped crying. Incredulously, Nicholas stared down at the infant and noticed something had caught Ty’s eye. Following the direction of his gaze, he turned and saw Christina standing in the doorway.
Uncle and nephew together took in the sight of the vicar’s daughter with her curly red hair, held back by a yellow ribbon. Her face was aglow from the outside air, and the sparkle in her green eyes seemed to be solely for him.
He quickly looked away, dismissing the direction his thoughts had taken, but he just as quickly looked back. This time, his eyes fastened on her yellow dress.
“Your dress has dirt on it,” he observed with a disapproving frown.
Christina glanced down and shrugged. “Only a little. I’m sure Mrs. Hopkins can get it clean with no problem.”
Nicholas had never known a female who wouldn’t immediately change for even one tiny speck of dirt. Ladies, he observed, were generally vain creatures. They were educated mostly in music and art and had extensive knowledge of needlepoint, but beyond that they knew very little.
His own former fiancée had been more intelligent than the average lady, but also very vain about her looks and her station. She was after all a duke’s daughter. It was her right to be.
Or so Nicholas had thought at the time. But since becoming reacquainted with the vicar’s daughter, he realized how shallow his former fiancée now seemed.
As guilty as he felt about it, he was sorely glad he would not have to marry Lady Katherine Montbatten.
His thoughts were broken when Christina came toward him. “I see you are getting acquainted with Ty, and look, he’s even smiling!” she cried as she smoothed her hand over his downy head.
Nicholas had trouble forming a response with her standing so close to him. She smelled like honeysuckle, and he found himself wanting to kiss her.
“I knew he would like you!”
He blinked and made himself get control of his wayward thoughts. Clearing his throat, he finally spoke. “If he likes me, he has a strange way of showing it. He was screaming the chandeliers down until you walked in here.”
Just as he thought she might, Christina laughed at his dry words. She looked up at him and their eyes met. A strange feeling came over Nicholas as he stared into those laughing eyes. There they were, the two of them, standing together with a baby between them. If anyone had walked into the room at that moment, they would have thought they came upon a couple of proud parents with their newborn son—family.
Something, Nicholas had convinced himself, that would never be a part of his future.
He was allowing this snip of a girl to lure him into thinking he could be happy. That he could be. . .normal.
But he wasn’t. He, the scoundrel and wastrel who had brought pain to his family and dishonor to his friends.
Christina believed that God loved him no matter what he had done. But Nicholas knew that even God could not forgive him.
How could He when Nicholas could not forgive himself?
Pushing the infant into Christina’s surprised arms, he mumbled something about making an appointment with his steward and walked out as quickly as his injured leg would allow him to.
❧
Christina watched with concerned eyes as the earl made a mad dash to the door, as if wild boars were nipping at his heels. For a moment, he had seemed more open than ever.
But when their eyes had met and held for a few breathtaking seconds, she’d watched his expression change, as if a door suddenly closed on his happiness. All that remained was a face full of self-loathing, and Christina was positive she’d also seen fear.
Sighing, she kissed Ty’s head before looking over at Mrs. Sanborne. The older woman was staring at the door with a confused look upon her usually smiling face.
“I’d hoped he would stay longer,” she murmured before turning her gaze to Christina. “Do you suppose it was because I pushed him into holding the baby? I just thought that if he could hold the child, he might feel a bond or something.”
Christina went to the woman and put a comforting hand on her arm. “It is not your fault, Mrs. Sanborne. It’s just going to take a little time before Lord Thornton adjusts to having a baby around.”
The nanny smiled at her. “I suppose you’re right.” She reached out for the baby. “I’ll just take Ty up to the nursery and put him down for his nap.”
She left Christina alone in the library. Once she was out of sight, Christina headed for the east wing of the estate. She’d discovered a few days earlier that this particular wing of the hall had not been used for years. All the furniture was covered and cobwebs hung thickly from the chandeliers and corners of the massive rooms.
It wasn’t a strange thing for some of the hall not to be in use. Many titled families used only a small portion of
their grand homes, some because of a lack of money and others because they didn’t want to be bothered. Since Christina knew the Thorntons were one of the wealthiest families in England, she knew the reason for the neglect had to be the latter.
A shiver snaked up her back as she walked through the cool, darkened hallways, guided by the light of a single candle. She was glad to finally reach her destination.
The enormous carved door creaked as Christina pushed it open. Inside, Helen sat staring wide-eyed and apparently frightened out of her wits in the middle of an immense room, holding the crate of puppies.
Christina gasped in awe as she stepped into the grand ballroom, still beautiful even after years of neglect and busy spiders. Helen had thrown the heavy curtains back, and sunlight warmed the otherwise cool, damp room.
“Are you sure we won’t be discovered here?” Helen asked anxiously as Christina set about removing the milk she’d brought from her house.
“Of course I’m sure. I asked Pierce the best place to keep them, and he recommended this wing of the mansion. He also assured me no one ever comes here.”
Helen let out a gasp of dismay. “You told Pierce!”
Christina dipped the edge of a rag into the milk, preparing to feed the puppies. “I had to ask someone, Helen. Besides, he told me he is indebted to me for the tonic I mixed up for him to get rid of the fleas on his cat. Our secret is quite safe.”
And it seemed it would remain so since the night passed and the earl was still none the wiser. Pierce had even lit a fire in the huge fireplace to keep the pups warm and made sure they were fed first thing the next morning.
“I’ve grown quite fond of the little spotted one, Miss. I fear I shall insist on bringing him home to the missus when he’s old enough,” Pierce confided to Christina when she arrived midmorning. She’d worried all night over the puppies’ health and safety, but apparently it was all for naught. Pierce had turned out to be quite the guardian.
“Of course you shall have him. That just leaves the other five to worry about!” she exclaimed with exaggeration.
“Don’t you worry about a thing, Miss. I’ll inquire around to see if anyone is interested,” he assured her.
Vicar's Daughter Page 5
