It made it easier to blame her grandmother. Not that Sophie didn’t have ideas of her own, but her grandmother had a way of making everything look perfectly reasonable and like the best idea ever.
Even now she could smell Keeton. She pulled up the collar of her shirt and sure enough, Keeton. She didn’t know if she should burn the shirt when she got home, or keep it forever without washing it. Of course, that would be very high school, and she was quite a few years beyond such gestures.
Really.
She stepped out of her truck and walked to the back of the trailer, doing a quick scan of the crowd and looking for Lucky. She spotted him. He’d backed his trailer in next to Jackson’s. They were near the portable dance floor where the band would set up after the rodeo. This was Dawson’s Summer Fling. All year the planning committee worked on the event. They planned food, music, the parade and the events. Things had kicked off the night before with a showdeo for the younger kids to participate in. Tonight would be the traditional rodeo events.
Lucky and Jackson had brought out their big fifth-wheel trailers that also included living quarters. Normally they would have brought a smaller stock trailer to a local event, but this one sometimes went on late into the night. They were planning on kids needing to sleep, bathroom breaks and a place to get out of the summer heat if necessary.
She unlatched the back of her trailer and let the rear gate swing wide. Lucky—the mule, not the brother—turned to look at her. His big ears twitched and he trembled a little. He’d never been exposed to anything like this.
“Easy, boy. I promise, this will be fun. And I’ll take you home as soon as your part in the entertainment is over.”
Lucky snorted and lowered his big head. She slid up next to him and rubbed his ears. A cat would have purred. Lucky leaned against her. His big head pushed against her stomach and she scratched his neck.
She untied his lead rope and backed him out of the trailer. His hooves clunked and the wood floor of the trailer rattled. Lucky backed out quickly, his hind hooves hitting firm ground. He shuddered again.
“Looks like you made it.” Keeton’s voice. She walked out of the trailer and shot him a smile that wasn’t quite the real thing.
“Of course I made it.”
“I didn’t doubt you.” He stepped closer.
“Where’s Lucy?” She shot a look past him, searching for her brothers.
“My mom and dad are here and they have her.”
“They’re together?”
He reached for the lead rope but she didn’t let him take it.
“Yes, together. Mom came back yesterday. She said she can’t leave him like this. She has some vacation time and she knows I can’t take care of him and Lucy. I think she’s afraid he’ll start drinking again.”
“How’d the appointment go yesterday, with the lawyer?” She’d talked to them before they took off to Tulsa to discuss what might come of his dad’s accident.
“He hopes he can get Dad into a treatment program before they go to court. That would look good to a judge and hopefully he’ll just get probation.”
“I really hope it works out for him.” She held tight to the rope to keep from reaching for Keeton’s hand. “I hope it works out for them.”
Keeton pushed his hat back and his grin touched secret places in her heart. “Me, too. But they’ve talked. Mom said she isn’t ready to move back here. He isn’t ready to leave. They explained that friendship is the best they can do for now.”
“It can’t be easy for either of them. Or for you?”
“No, it isn’t easy.” He walked to the back of her truck and pulled out the saddle and bridle. “Why don’t you get him saddled so he has a chance to calm down before this parade?”
“You want to talk me out of this, don’t you?”
“I’m not going to try. Just be careful.”
She nodded and held the rope while he saddled the mule. She let him do it. He’d done so much for her. He knew when to back off, to not push. And she knew that it was okay to let him take these small steps into her life, because he wouldn’t take up everything. He wouldn’t take control.
She closed her eyes briefly and Lucky moved, pushing his head against her. She opened her eyes and watched Keeton pull the girth strap tight. The mule held his breath, bloating his stomach. Keeton moved him back a step and pulled again, tightening the strap so the saddle wouldn’t slip while she was riding.
“There you go.” He handed her the reins. “You’re sure he’s—”
She held up a hand and stopped him. “He’s ready.”
“Okay. Let me give you a leg up.” If he had more to tell her, he kept it to himself.
Her heart kind of teetered on the brink, filling up, tilting, settling. She looked at him and his smile pushed her heart a little closer to the edge.
The edge? Of being broken again?
He cupped his hands and she put her left foot up, he held it in his hands. She swung her right leg over the back of the mule, landing lightly in the saddle. Lucky moved to the side but then he settled. She looked down at Keeton and he smiled up at her and tipped his hat in a salute.
“Well done, Soph. Now let’s see what your brother thinks of his namesake.”
“I can’t believe he didn’t find out.” The moment hit, what she’d done. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“I can. What are you afraid of?”
“Nothing.” She wasn’t afraid. “I’m not afraid. Maybe nervous.”
His smile shifted and he put a hand on her leg. She looked down, steadying the mule as the animal tried to move forward.
“I’m riding tonight.” He held the bridle and looked up at her.
“I know.”
“And you aren’t going to try and talk me out of it?”
She shrugged, as if it didn’t really matter. But it did. She wanted to tell him not to ride. She wanted him to let go of childish dreams and a career that could lead to serious injury.
“You didn’t talk me out of riding Lucky.”
He smiled and his eyes crinkled at the corners. “No, because I knew I couldn’t. It’s your decision.”
“Riding bulls is your decision, Keeton. I stand by mine, to not date bull riders. But riding is up to you. I won’t be here to watch. I can’t.”
“Sophie, you need to trust that God is in charge and that He can keep me safe.”
She shook her head and her vision swam as tears filled her eyes. “Does that mean He chose not to keep Kade safe?”
“That isn’t at all what I meant.” He took off his hat and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Sophie, somewhere along the way we have to learn to trust. Whether it’s driving down the road, getting in a plane, facing an illness or riding a bull, we have to trust God. We can’t expect life to be pain free, we trust God with every situation and know that whatever happens, He has it under control and He’ll get us through.”
“Right.” She felt his hand on hers, looked down and watched their fingers slide together. “Is bull riding really your dream?”
He shoved his hat back on his head and stepped away from her. “It’s what I do.”
Sophie wanted his hand back. She wanted to apologize. Deflecting wasn’t fair. Making it about him, not her, that hadn’t been anywhere close to okay. She tried to apologize but he shook his head.
“It’s my dream.” He said the words with careful enunciation and walked away.
Good way to push the guy away so he doesn’t get too close, Sophie. She groaned at her lecture to herself, and then turned Lucky in the direction of the arena.
As she rode through the big gate into the freshly plowed arena, she searched the crowd for Lucky. And for Keeton. She spotted Lucky first. She waved and trotted around the aren
a on the big red mule he’d bought for hunting.
“Hey, that’s my mule.” He ran to the gate and she knew he’d be waiting for her.
As she rode past she saw Jackson pound Lucky on the back and heard him say, “Looks to me like it’s Sophie’s mule.”
She smiled and saluted her brother. It didn’t happen very often, that she kept something from Clan Cooper, but this time she’d done it.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Keeton move. She turned and he nodded once and walked away. Yes, she’d really done it.
* * *
Keeton headed for the bull pen to stretch and get warmed up for his ride. There were several events beforehand, so he had a long while to wait. From behind the scenes he watched Sophie lead the mule back to her trailer. Lucky, the brother, walked with her. He laughed on occasion and patted her on the back. She smiled up at him.
Well played, Sophie. Keeton smiled as he raised his arms and leaned left, then right. He did that several times, and then he held his arms out and made big circles to loosen his shoulder muscles. A few other riders, most way younger than him, gathered around to join him in some deep knee bends.
“Hey, Keeton, how do you stay in shape?” A young rider, probably just out of high school, twisted at the torso as he asked the question.
“I work out a few days a week.” Keeton reached forward and took some deep breaths. “I lift weights.”
“And chase pretty girls.” Another of the younger Coopers, Dylan, laughed as he made the statement.
Keeton smiled and shook his head. He shoved his hat down tight and reached to buckle his chaps. “My girl-chasing days are long gone. I’ll leave that to you younger guys.”
“Oh, come on, you know you’re after a world title and my sister.” Dylan grunted as he leaned forward, back and then side to side. “She must be pretty interested, ’cause she didn’t leave and she always leaves.”
“She’s a Cooper, Dylan, of course she’s staying for the rodeo.”
“No, she usually leaves before bull riding.”
Keeton didn’t want to have this conversation with a group of kids that were barely out of school.
“You gonna win the world title this year?” a kid with straw-colored hair and a big smile asked.
“I’m going to try.” Keeton pulled a glove out of his pocket.
Next to the fence of the arena he spotted Sophie. She stood next to her sister Heather. The two of them appeared to be sharing a story. She hadn’t left. He wondered if that meant she’d decided to trust God. Or had she lost track of time?
Her words to him slipped through his mind again. Was this his dream, or Kade’s? The truth kind of hurt. He’d been riding bulls for the better part of sixteen years because right after Kade died, Keeton had decided to win the world title for his little brother. And it hadn’t happened. The years had slipped by, he’d made some good money riding, and he hadn’t quit.
He hadn’t accomplished much more than riding bulls and trying to win a title he’d never really cared about.
He shuffled in the dirt a little as he walked away from the kids still warming up. He kind of wanted to kick himself, because Sophie was right. Man, she was right. Not that he had any intention of letting her know.
As right as she was, he had to get his mind back on riding. Tonight he was riding a bull Jackson kept bragging about. And in two weeks he planned on making an event in Texas. He was still chasing that dream. It occurred to him that he had a hard time letting go.
His attention shot to Sophie. Yeah, he had a real hard time letting go. Over the years he’d thought about her a lot. Wondered if things could have been different. But things weren’t and she had loved his little brother. He also wondered if she still loved Kade, or was it the memory, the dream of what they might have had that she loved?
Or had she let go and just got stuck, like him?
After team roping came bull riding. Keeton jerked his focus back to the task at hand. He couldn’t let his mind wander when a one-ton animal wanted nothing more than to pound his sorry hide into the ground.
As he waited his turn outside the chutes he thought about a question a reporter had once asked. What made a guy want to ride a bull? He had laughed it off back then, because he’d been a lot younger. He’d come in second that year, winning finals, but not the title. He’d said something stupid about women. But what did make a guy want to ride a bull? Adrenaline? The ability to overcome fear or to conquer? Money?
They called his name and he headed for the chutes. Jackson grinned and pointed to a big Brahma-cross bull that he’d recently bought. “Keeton West, you’re about to take the ride of your life.”
“Shucks, Jackson, that bull ain’t no bigger than a pony I rode when I was about six years old.”
Jackson laughed and took Keeton’s bull rope. “Let me help you get strapped in.”
Keeton felt a sharp pain and he drew in a breath. His mind fogged a little and his memory took him on a wild ride, back in time. He was nineteen, standing where Jackson stood. His brother had drawn one of the meanest bulls around. They were right here, in this same spot.
And he hadn’t ridden here since then. Not once. His parents hadn’t sat on the bleachers of this arena since that night. Sounded as though Sophie hadn’t, either.
He stood on the catwalk and searched the crowd. He spotted her standing at the edge of the arena, not sitting. He knew she wouldn’t sit. She’d want to be able to walk away, to not watch.
Not too long ago he’d told her to trust. Trust.
What in the world was he doing? At his age, he should have a wife and kids. He should have a job that he went to every day. He should take Jeremy up on that offer to help run the bigger facility he planned for Dawson, building custom bikes.
“Keet, you okay?” Jackson cleared his throat. “Hey, you know you don’t have to do this, right?”
“I know.” He eased himself over the side of the chute, and then situated himself on the back of the bull. “But I’m going to ride this bull that hasn’t been ridden. By the time I get done with him, he’ll be as tame as that mule of Sophie’s.”
“Big talk.” Jackson grinned and pulled the bull rope tight. The rope was wrapped around the big animal belly. Keeton had rosined up his gloved hand to keep the rope sticky and in place. He wrapped it tight, holding his hand to the bull, to the rope situated at the base of the bull’s neck.
The bull leaned against the side of the chute, pushing his bad knee against the gate. He grimaced and breathed deep, forgetting the pain. Jackson held his vest to keep him steady in case the bull decided to pitch him forward. More than one guy had lost a tooth or even cracked a jaw after being thrown forward.
He’d seen guys hauled out of the chute unconscious. Why did a guy do this? A question for the ages.
The bull settled and he had his thoughts back on track just in time. He nodded once and the gate shot open. The bull spun like a maniac, flying into the arena, all four hooves off the ground at once. He leaned forward, steadying himself. The jarring force of hitting the ground knocked him to the left side of the bull, and then the crazy animal switched directions on him, the way Keeton had been warned he’d do. Keeton leaned the other direction to keep from spiraling down on the inside of the spin.
He looked up, saw Sophie for just a flash as the bull spun. Eight seconds seemed like eight minutes. He broke at the hips, pushing forward when the bull jumped and tried to get him off his back.
The buzzer rang. He unwrapped his hand, realized it had been loose the whole time. Travis Cooper stood nearby, yelling, telling him to wait. Travis moved, got the bull turning toward him. Keeton jumped, landed, stumbled back. The bull turned, bellowed, ran.
Travis jumped in front of the bull, then jumped, nearly doing a cartwheel off the animal’s big head. Yeah
, bull fighters were athletes. And lifesavers.
The bull lost interest and headed for the gate that opened for him to run out, back to the pen. Travis leaned, resting his hands on his knees. He took a deep breath and then straightened. Travis grinned big and walked past him.
“Saved your hide, now, didn’t I?”
“Travis, you’re my hero.”
Travis slapped him on the back. “You’re not my brother’s hero. You just rode his unridable bull. And I think, from the look on her face, you’re not Sophie’s hero.”
“I’ll make it up to them both.”
Keeton walked out of the arena. Sophie had remained close to the gate. He smiled as he approached her. She shook her head and he noticed tears streaming down her cheeks.
“It’s over.”
“No, it isn’t.” She walked away and he let her go because he knew Sophie. He knew she’d need a minute. She wouldn’t want to cry in front of people. She wouldn’t want everyone to know her business.
For now he’d go check on his parents. And Lucy. He breathed deep and shook out the catch in his leg, in his bad knee. He exhaled past the moment, thinking maybe they’d all needed this ride. He, his parents and Sophie.
Maybe they needed this moment to conquer what the past had done to them? Maybe now they could all rebuild what had been broken inside them when Kade died?
Chapter Thirteen
Sophie spent the rest of the rodeo talking to Lucky—the mule, not her brother. Lucky the mule didn’t talk back or tell her what to think or explain that her emotions were all over the place. Lucky just listened.
God listened. She leaned against the mule’s neck and told God that she didn’t know what to do with her feelings, with her pain, with her fear. And she realized it had already been summed up in that one word Keeton had said earlier. Trust.
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