James watched me with shock and awe. He was even curiously looking at the scratches in my face and how my clothes were torn.
We were yelling back and forth at one another. He was asking me what was wrong with me, and I was asking him how he could do this to me. Tears overflowed from my eyes as I continuously swung that hammer; keeping James from coming anywhere near me.
“How could you do this?! I give you everything, James – everything!!”
Just then, Raven’s screen door opened and there she stood in a beautiful tropical floral colored Kimono silk robe. It was suppose to be mid-thigh, but with her shape and assets, it sat right below her ass. Had she bent over, I would have easily seen her birth canal and then some.
She looked gorgeous, and that upset me more. She was so pretty, even though obviously tousled and disheveled from sleep, sex, or both. Trying to figure out which fueled my fire.
When she saw James’ truck, her eyes bucked, and in the most annoying feminine and attentive voice, she told him, “Come back in the house, baby. I’m calling the police.”
I flew by James. I wanted to whoop her ass. She was acting as if she was just as much his woman as I was, and that infuriated me to no end.
Yet, no sooner than I was a foot away from the steps, James tackled me in the grass. He snatched the hammer away from me, threw it all the way to the curb, and we began to wrestle back and forth. He continuously told me to calm down and to stop, and all I could say was how much I hated his ass as I swung at him.
I could hear Raven telling him to stop before he went to jail himself. When I noticed that she was now behind him, attempting to get him off of me, I played dead. I stopped moving as if I was surrendering.
Again, he told me, “Lyric, calm down.”
“Fuck you,” I told him as he stood from the ground.
Raven’s smug look, as if she had finally got what she wanted, poured a gallon of gasoline on my fury. I stood from the ground, trying to figure out how I could get my hands on this bitch without James stopping me, and that’s when I saw her gently grabbing his arm as she said, “This is some bullshit. Let’s go back to bed, babe.”
I saw him pull away from her, but I didn’t give a shit. I had that bitch’s hair in my hands before I knew it, and she was yelping in disbelief. I literally wanted to rip her face off. That’s how mad I was. I was trying to take this bitch’s scalp home with me. Yet, James was so much bigger than me that he literally took her hair out of my hands and I was in the air before my swinging arm could land on its target; her face.
“Bitch, this is my man- not yours!!”
“Lyric…”
I interrupted James with more yells and screams of obscenities at Raven. “I loan him to you, bitch! Get it right!”
James finally got me to my car, standing in front of me with both hands on the hood, blocking me from moving.
He looked me in my eyes. He was begging as he told me, “Let’s go.”
Before I could say or do anything, I could hear Raven saying, “Let’s? Where are you going, James? Are you serious?!”
I damn near tried to run through James as I literally growled and spit at Raven. “Where the fuck else he gone go, bitch?!”
“Lyric, stop!” James had grabbed me by both shoulders and damn near given me shaken baby syndrome.
I looked him in the eyes and realized all that he had put me through; the mischievous actions, the lies, courting this bitch despite how it made me feel, and only God knows what else.
Suddenly, a calm feeling came over me.
I was exhausted, and I was done.
“You know what? As a matter of fact, yes, you stay here,” I told him. “You need a place to stay anyway, because we no longer live together.”
“Lyric, are you serious?”
“I am dead serious!”
In the distance, James and I both could hear sirens approaching. I was unaware of who had called the police; either Raven or one of her neighbors, who I was sure had heard the commotion.
I was sad and tired. As I spoke to James, I was sure he could hear in the sound of my voice how fed up I was. “The police are coming. You gone let me go to jail?”
And with no further argument, he simply moved out of my way and allowed me to make my exit in peace.
I wanted to run Raven over, as she stood in the grass with her arms folded wearing the same smug and satisfied look, but I kept it moving; attempting to spare any shred of dignity that I may have had left.
TRICEY
I sighed with frustration as I hung up the phone.
That was my third time calling Lyric today without an answer. I knew that she had gone out the night before with her girls, so I initially called to see how her night went. Considering her current state of mind, now I was calling to make sure that she hadn’t gotten too drunk and was indeed at home safe and sound.
I mentally kicked myself for not going out with her, but there was no way that I could have hung out. I had to stay home, whether Blood was there or not.
I had been kissing a lot of his ass for the last couple of days. After the altercation with me and Amiel, Blood blatantly ignored me until the next morning. That’s not like Blood. He has never been mad at me, and we have never argued about anything regarding us, so to be put in this position with him humbled me to pieces.
In that mere few hours of his absence, I realized what I was willing to lose and what I would gain in return, and I did not like the results of that equation at all. I patiently waited for his anger to subside while I literally cried and prayed for his return. When I heard those keys in the front door the next morning, I thanked God and put forth all efforts to fix it.
I cooked, cleaned, stayed out of his way, and pampered him.
I had been sucking a lot of dick for the past three days – a whole lot of it.
Yet, it was all welcomed with distance and silence. He barely talked to me, barely made eye contact, and took that head, rolled over, and went to sleep without any interest in penetrating me.
He was disappointed in me. He wasn’t merely upset that I contacted Amiel behind his back. I didn’t see anger in his face. I saw regret. I knew that he was sad because I took our trust and flushed it down the toilet, and in a relationship like ours, being the man that Blood was, he needed to trust me in order to be comfortable in this relationship.
A few hours later, I was pulling up in front of Amiel’s house. I hadn’t seen my child since he pulled off with her. He had also been very successful in ignoring all of my calls and text messages.
I was a wreck. Despite the fact that my household had been turned upside down by my stupidity, this fool was holding my daughter hostage. However, I had been so wrapped up in making sure that Blood and I were okay that I hadn’t had the strength to start this battle with Amiel over Ariana.
Yet, today was the day. I texted him an hour ago telling him what time I would be at his house to pick up Ariana and that he better be there, otherwise I was calling the police and reporting that my daughter had been kidnapped. I had to remind him that since he had not been involved in her birth, therefore his name not being on the birth certificate, he was not legally her father, so his rights did not exist, as far as the legal system was concerned.
Unfortunately, Blood refused to talk about Amiel, so I didn’t have his help in this fight. Every time I attempted to bring up what happened, whether to apologize or to figure out how I can integrate Amiel into Ariana’s life as her father with Blood’s consent, Blood refused to entertain the conversation.
This entire situation was foolery. In all actuality, it shouldn’t be this difficult for Amiel to be a father to Ariana, but since Blood had this unforeseen intimidation when it came to Amiel, he was giving me such a hard time. I know that this intimidation was there because Blood knew that I loved Amiel so differently than I love him. There was a passion in me for Amiel that Blood witnessed during our time as friends that I know he doesn’t see in my love for him. Yet, these past few days have t
aught me that that wasn’t passion that I felt for Amiel. It was anxiety and obsession because Amiel was never mine. That does not exist in my relationship with Blood because I am secure that I have him.
I would have explained that to him if he were talking to me, but, until then, I could only hope and pray for the best.
I guess Amiel had been looking out for me, because I could hear his locks unlatching as I climbed the steps. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I needed something in my life to go right, either this situation or Blood. I would have taken both, but just one would have made my life easier at that moment. My chances with Blood were looking grim, no matter how much I poured on the charm, so Amiel was my only other option.
Despite my current irritation with his ability to act a clear fool and fuck up my life, Amiel looked good when he opened the door. He simply wore basketball shorts and a t-shirt, but his chocolate skin and matching eyes were so captivating.
However, his recent actions had left such a bad taste in my mouth that I was beginning to see him for, not the man that hypnotized my pussy, but the man that caused straight havoc in my life when I gave him opportunity to be in it. I was starting to realize that our chemistry was actually a toxic concoction that blew up every chance it got and destroyed everything in its path.
I entered his living room with him closely behind me. Though we did not acknowledge one another, we acknowledged the tension in the air with weird glances at each other. Ariana was in the middle of the floor looking at the Disney Channel in a daze. Once I called her name, she spun around, gave me the most beautiful grin, and began to giggle uncontrollably, as if seeing me was the best thing since sliced bread. When I bent down and scooped her up, she spoke to me so fast that I couldn’t understand a word that she was saying. Her smell alone made me realize how, prior to recently, I had been with this child every day. I never had to share her, but now, I had to.
After sitting her back on the floor, I sat beside Amiel on the couch and faced the elephant in the room.
“Do you want to talk about this?”
The other man in my life didn’t have shit to say to me, so if Amiel didn’t either, I was all too prepared to grab my child and get the hell out of there.
Yet, surprisingly, he had a lot to say.
“So who is he?” He looked so disappointed in me, and I couldn’t believe his audacity. Sure, I slept with him without informing him that I had a man. But c’mon now! This was the same man that fucked me for a year while having a pregnant wife at the crib. I didn’t give a fuck that he was divorced now; what he did to me back then was still evident. Yet, he was so easily overlooking it.
“My man,” I told him confidently.
He mocked me with a dry giggle. “Your man. Have you always fucked more than one man at once, or is this new for you? Should we get a blood test for Ariana?”
He was trying to hurt me, but his days of hurting me were over when he told me that he couldn’t be with me because taking care of his family was more important than being with me, the woman he claimed he loved so much.
Calmly, I replied, “That’s unnecessary and really immature of you,” in a way that made him sound foolish and somewhat of a bitch.
He bit his lip and blew smoke from his ears. To cut off whatever maliciousness that was about to come out of his mouth next, I spoke my peace. “I know that sleeping with you was wrong, Amiel. It just happened. I should have told you, but I was honestly feeling so many emotions when we got back in touch that I didn’t want to tell you yet. After we slept together, I knew that I was wrong, that I needed to figure out a way to tell you that our sex was a mistake, and that I am in a committed relationship.”
Amiel laughed with sarcasm. “A committed relationship?”
“Yes. We live together.”
Surprisingly, Amiel seemed to squirm at that detail. “Who is he?”
“I already told you that he is my man.”
“No. Who is he?”
“What do you mean?”
“What is his name? Where is he from? Where does he work?”
“Why is that your business?”
“Because I have a right to know who my child is living with.”
I took a deep breath in an attempt to remain calm. “He is who has been taking care of your daughter for the last two years. He is who was there for me when I was alone and pregnant…”
“Because you wouldn’t let me BE THERE!” The thunder in his voice caused me and Ariana to jump in shock and fear. He noticed our discomfort and calmed down immediately. “Don’t say it like he was there because I didn’t want to be. I couldn’t be.”
“You are absolutely right.”
“Tricey…” He said my name with so much care and warmth. Suddenly, he was no longer angry. “I love you. I know that I hurt you back then, but I was stuck. Now, I’m not. Now, I’m ready, baby. I’m ready to be with you and my daughter.”
I had waited two and half years to hear those words. I waited with so much passion and urgency that as they fell from his lips, I closed my eyes, smiled on the inside, and finally exhaled.
Yet, had this been two and half years ago, I would have collapsed with joy and fell into him, taken him into his bedroom and shown him how much of his woman I wanted to be.
However, this ain’t that no more.
Growth showed me what real love from a man is. Amiel lived to be taken care of by me. He loved how I adored him and worshipped him. He missed my submission. Yet, Blood loved to worship and take care of me, and I finally appreciated the difference in that.
“Amiel, I am in a relationship,” was all that I could say in return. He looked obviously frustrated and disappointed, but that wasn’t my problem.
“I love him,” I told Amiel. “I was wrong for keeping your daughter away from you, and I am willing to give you the time that you deserve with her. But I cannot, nor am I willing to, give you anything more.”
Three
Thursday, June 2, 2011
VICTORIA
You would think that after damn near overdosing, I was done with getting high, but it seemed like that scare only increased my taste for coke.
It had been a week since I passed out on Derrick’s living room floor. After a cold shower, I was brought out of my semi-unconscious state in no harm, thankfully. Yet, a week later, I was right back in that house, locked in the bathroom, hovering over lines that lay before me on the sink.
Derrick’s crib was like my little spot that I could use in without any judgment.
No sooner than I inhaled that snow into my nose, I turned on the shower and hopped in.
When I was sober, I knew that the knowledge of Jesse not being my father had ignited recklessness in me that the coke had previously initiated, but I got high just to ignore all of that.
As I was in the shower, washing off our sex hurriedly, Derrick walked in.
“Damn, don’t you wanna get married?” He smiled at me as he stood over the toilet peeing.
I asked with a sly smile, “You wanna marry me now?”
“You keep sucking my dick like that, I will marry you tonight.”
We both giggled mischievously as he washed his hands. Then he leaned against the sink and watched me as I lathered my body. His athletic build and dark skin still glistened with sex. His locs fell over him in an Adonis kind of way. He batted those full beautiful lashes at me with that cocky ass grin, played with the suds on my ass, and, I swear, I got wet all over again.
“Stop,” I told him. “Don’t start no shit. I have to be at work in an hour.”
I could only see Derrick at odd times; very early in the morning or in the afternoon when Vince was too busy to notice my absence. Initially, I was only fucking Derrick because he provided me with continuous amounts of coke that I could never afford. Now, it was that, along with the fact that it was easier to kick it with him and be myself, rather than with Vince pretending to be some happy sober person that I’m not.
Vince was always trying to make me t
his “better person” and force me into getting help, especially after I told him that Jesse wasn’t my father. I didn’t get that from Derrick. Of course that was because Derrick could give less than two shits about me personally. Yet, it was still relaxing to be in a man’s presence that took me how I was; no matter how insignificantly he took me.
It only took fifteen minutes to finish showering, change, and exit stage left. By the time I was in my car, my phone was going off and it made my skin crawl. I knew it was Vince’s baby’s mama. She decided that she wanted to start sending me threatening text messages a few days ago. I guess she didn’t like it at all that, though Vince called himself leaving me last month to be with his family, he eventually came back to me.
Since she was due any minute, when she first started texting me stupid shit about how I stole her man, that Vince is going to be with his family, and that she will get her man back, I ignored her bullshit and simply told Vince to nip that shit in the bud. Now, as I sat in my car and read the text message from her calling me a low-class bitch, I felt that it was time to take it out of Vince’s hands and put it into my more controlling hands.
Frankly, I spent so much of my time too high to give a shit about anything, especially some chick that thought a baby controlled where a man wanted to be. However, apparently I needed to pay attention because this chick was serious. Even though I was presently cheating on Vince and lying to him, besides my daughter, he was all that I had unconditionally. He was mine and I was feeling very territorial. She couldn’t have him, baby or not.
Point blank and the period.
STAR
Dawn entered my cell cautiously, as if everybody else knew what we were up to.
I asked her, anxiously and impatiently, “Did you get it?”
She lifted the top of her prison garb. Against her belly was the wire hanger that she stole from the stock room.
Prisoners weren’t allowed to have hangers; one of the “deadly weapons” that we were refrained from using like regular people.
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 71
