“Can you blame me?”
“No, but, if that’s the case, then why are you with me?!”
Finally, he sat up, looked me in the eyes, and gave this the serious attention that it needed. He let his rough dope boy exterior down and revealed to me the sweet and bashful guy who was underneath and showed himself every blue moon.
“At first, yeah, I hated you. I thought you straight set me up. But I went to your trial, and I was at Roxy, Benz, and Scoops trials too. I heard everybody’s testimony and all the evidence. I had the chance to see how gutter and vindictive them motherfuckas were compared to you. I know that you didn’t want them to rob me. I know that you tried to keep them off of me that day. You could have told me, but you were loyal to them. But being in that room knowing that they were coming and arguing with Roxy showed me that you were loyal to me too.”
Admittedly, hearing him talk about it made me tear up. After all of this time, I still felt the uncertainty and grief that I felt as I laid in his bed not knowing what the hell to do.
DeShawn wiped my tears while he finally showed his true feelings to me. “You served your time for making stupid decisions. Hell, I might be stupid for fucking with you again, but time will tell me what’s what. I hated you when the shit went down, but, I can’t even deny it, a nigga missed yo’ ass. I was feeling you hard when that shit happened, and after seeing you at the party, I had to realize that I was still feeling you. All I know is that you went to jail because of your loyalty; loyalty to the wrong motherfuckas, but still loyalty. I’ll take loyalty ova anything, any day.”
Twenty
Friday, October 12, 2012
STAR
The next morning, I woke up in an empty bed.
Liquor from the night before had given me such dehydration that I left the bedroom in hunt of something to wet my throat.
I wondered where DeShawn had gone. I didn’t hear him in the house anywhere as I crept down the stairs, through the dining room, and into the kitchen. I knew that he couldn’t have gone far because he had to take me back to my car so that I could go to work in a few hours. Unfortunately, my phone died the night before. There was no charger in the house that fit it, so I couldn’t call him.
Though I was awake, I still felt like I was dreaming. I felt extremely lucky and blessed to have DeShawn’s forgiveness and presence in my life. I would never have thought that I would ever be here again; with him and with the opportunity to prove that I was not who that robbery made me look like.
I stood naked in front of the refrigerator killing some Tropicana orange juice straight from the carton. After DeShawn and I had that talk, it was like the vibe between us went back to how it was when we first met, so we started our night all over again. Therefore, I was extremely hung over and a bit delusional.
Yet, as I closed the frig and headed back towards the kitchen door, I wasn’t too delusional to notice the note on the counter. Since I recognized DeShawn’s handwriting, I quickly picked up the note and read:Had to make a run. Call me when you charge your phone. These are yours, so take the truck to work.
Beside the note was a key with the Benz logo, another key that must have been the house key, and a Chase debit card. As I looked closer at the card, I saw that it read:DeShawn White & Star Anderson.
Tricey
Damion and I had been kissing for hours it felt like.
Since making out was all that we could do, since I was still out of commission down there, we had spent the afternoon spooning and making out.
The season was starting, so Damion was going to be gone a lot. Therefore, he insisted that we spend this day in bed with each other.
For some reason, I didn’t feel guilty when this man smiled into my eyes like he was laying his eyes on the woman of his dreams. I trusted his like for me and accepted mine for him. I accepted it while struggling between choosing Blood or accepting this normal life with Damion that he was possibly offering me.
He knew about Blood and, though he never mentioned him or asked me to leave him, I knew the time was coming that he would.
That time came in its own form as he rolled over towards the nightstand, retrieved something from the drawer, and rolled back over next to me.
He rested on his elbows as he smiled and told me, “I got you something.”
When he handed me the Tiffany ring box, I fell speechless.
As I opened it, Damion spoke unbelievable words to me. “It’s not an engagement ring, but it’s a promise to propose whenever you let me. I know we haven’t been dating that long, and I know you have a man. It’s obvious that he takes good care of you, but, for whatever reason, you’re here with me. I can take care of you. I can love you like you want to be loved every day. As soon as you give me the green light, I will.”
I was completely speechless and spellbound as the platinum and 18k rose gold twinkled. The pink and white diamonds floored me along with Damion’s continuous promises to me make me a happy girl.
LYRIC
I cursed as I hung up the phone and threw it down into my lap. “Bitch.”
Cory, from the driver’s seat, looked at me sympathetically. “She still won’t answer?”
“Nope. She is so damn difficult!”
“I wonder why, hell! You been treatin’ Vic like shit for over ten years. I wouldn’t talk to yo’ ass either. Sister or no sister.”
I ignored Cory as he drove seventy miles an hour on the Bishop Ford. He’d just picked me up from my house and we were on our way downtown for lunch and drinks. I thought that once my father’s funeral was over, things would go back to normal. However, my father’s death was the start of pure drama and chaos in my life that may not be settled anytime soon.
I couldn’t believe that Vic could be my father’s child! I wondered was it true and if Vic knew for sure. I tried to get answers out of my mother, but she was the most difficult person to get any kind of legitimate answers from.
Still, I couldn’t believe that it was actually a possibility. I also couldn’t believe that our parents had kept this shit under wraps all of this time.
I knew that if it was blowing my mind, then it was definitely giving Vic the flux. I no longer cared about the beef that I had with her. As someone that she grew up with and knew exactly what she had gone through with her mother and Jesse, I just wanted to be there for her and help her get to the truth.
Neither Vic nor I had siblings, so to know that this was a possibility for the both of us to have more biological family, that wasn’t crazy, abusive, or on drugs, was a breath of fresh air; no matter how scandalous the act of us becoming family was.
I was ready to accept her as family if she was willing to accept me.
As I sat there with my mind racing, a high-pitched screech pierced the air. I jumped in shock as I turned to see Cory staring at his phone with his mouth dropped to the floor; attempting to keep his eyes on both the road and phone at the same time.
“What’s wrong?!”
“Read this!”
He gave me his phone and on the screen was a text message from the spyware app that Cory had been using to spy on Kadeem. The message read:I am so happy that they passed the gay marriage laws. Now, we can finally get married.
I looked at Cory with confusion all up and through my face.
“Who is this?”
“That’s his wife’s number! That’s Tessa! So why is she saying that she is happy that they passed the gay laws and now they can get married?!”
I was speechless, so therefore didn’t have an answer for Cory, who was now getting off of the expressway going eighty miles an hour.
“I’m confused,” I finally said.
“And so the fuck am I!”
Though confused, for me, it was obvious what the message meant. Yet, I was too afraid of saying what because I didn’t want to hurt Cory’s feeling. But by the look on his face as he drove with tears in his eyes, I knew that he knew what it meant as well.
“I can’t believe this shit! How could he do
this shit to me?! I didn’t ask to be with him. He pursed me. How can you pursue somebody with only the intentions of purposely hurting them?! That is so fucking cruel!”
His eyes went back and forth between the road and the phone as he continued to swerve through traffic and run stop signs. He continued to rant, rave, and cry. All I could do was sit in silence next to him, attempting to put together the calculating devious foolery that this man had did to my friend.
“Where are we?”
Finally, Cory came to a stop. I was so wrapped up in Cory’s tears that I wasn’t paying attention to what direction we were headed in.
“He text messaged somebody saying that him and Tessa were leaving out in ten minutes.”
My heart began to beat fast with anxiety. “Cory, are we at Kadeem’s house?!”
“YES!”
“Why?! What do you plan on doing?’
“Seeing for myself and outing this motherfucker! He played me, so I’m ‘bout to play his ass too!”
Frustrated and annoyed, I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. My father had just died. I just found out that the woman that I have been mad at for over ten years could be my sister. Therefore, I didn’t have time for this foolery!
“I think you should calm…”
Before I could complete my sentence, “Oh my God”, left Cory’s lips in a faint squeal full of new tears. I looked into the same direction as he was and recognized Kadeem as he walked down the steps of a beautiful two story brick house holding the hand of a man. Though he was very feminine with fitted clothes and long hair, it was obvious that he was a man. As they kissed while walking towards the car, it was obvious that Kadeem wasn’t as in the closet as he made it seem.
Cory was jumping out of the car before I knew it! Initially, I just sat there. I didn’t know what to! But then I realized that that was my friend, so no matter how completely crazy he was acting I had to follow him just in case he needed me to have his back.
As soon as Kadeem noticed Cory, he got violently angry. His face seemed to smoke with rage, but Cory was too rived up to even notice.
“SO THIS IS WHY WE HAVE TO BE A SECRET?! THOUGHT YOU WERE IN THE CLOSET, YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH!”
It was amazing how loud Cory’s voice shot through the quiet neighborhood in Bronzeville. He was screeching and flaying his arms as he marched towards Kadeem, who was also marching towards him. They looked like two lions, one really big one and one smaller feminine one, ready to attack. Tessa and I stood watching on opposing sides. Tessa was obviously confused while I was just waiting to see what was about to happen.
Cory smacked the shit out of Kadeem as soon as he was in arm’s reach of him. But it didn’t faze Kadeem. He attacked Cory viciously punching him, like he was as big as him, so hard that Cory’s slim body flung violently. I screamed in horror and ran towards them. I could see blood spilling from Cory’s face as Kadeem pulverized it. Both Tessa and I pulled on Kadeem while ducking his flying fists, but there was no use. He was so massive and we were so tiny that he probably didn’t even feel us pulling on him. This wasn’t a fight. He was whooping my friend’s ass, beating him to a pulp. I didn’t even see Cory fighting back.
Tessa and I yelled and screamed. Hell, I even pleaded for Kareem to stop. Yet, it wasn’t until it seemed like he was tired that he finally stopped.
“Don’t bring yo’ punk ass back ova here ever again!”
I don’t even know if Cory heard Kadeem while he walked away, walking over Cory like he was worthless as he lay bloody on the ground.
I heard Tessa asking Kadeem what the hell was going on and who Cory was, but he simply ordered him to get in the car with such anger that I even jumped from the sound of his voice.
“Cory, baby, can you get up?” I was crying hysterically at this point. I went from crying in fear to crying from relief when I saw that Cory could actually move.
Blood rushed from his nose and lips. His nose was definitely broken. His lip was split to the point that flesh was hanging from his mouth. His eyes had already begun to swell as I attempted to help him off of the ground.
“I have to take you to hospital.”
I couldn’t stomach looking at his blood and bruises as I helped him into the car. He held his stomach in pain, so I knew that his ribs had to be broken.
He cried through swollen eyes as I started the car. “How could he do this me? I didn’t deserve all of this. I just loved him, Lyric. All I did was love him.”
He was sobbing uncontrollably, and I just let him. I recognized the heartache in his sobs. Unfortunately, I knew that there was nothing that I could say to take the pain away.
It’s hard to wrap your mind around the fact that someone you have loved so selflessly and unconditionally has purposely and vindictively plain ol’ tricked you with no intent of fulfilling the promise of loving you like they said they would. From men that we love emotionally to the men that brought us into this world, it is amazing the affect that they have on us simply because we want to love them and want with all of our hearts for them to love us back.
It’s amazing how some men are so selfish that they would so heartlessly allow you to fall in love with a lie.
Victoria
Lyric had been blowing my phone up all night.
It was mighty funny how now Lyric wanted to call me. Now she wanted to talk to me, but I didn’t have shit to say to her. Fuck Lyric! She had been being such a bitch, and she was a whole bitch yesterday, looking at me like I was invading her ‘ol fucked up ass family.
I ignored her all night while I sat in my home trying hard not to fall apart.
Yesterday was so damn emotionally draining, and I had nobody that I wanted to talk to help me off of the ledge.
I didn’t feel like talking to Tricey, who also called me all night. I didn’t feel like explaining anything to anyone, including her. I also couldn’t talk to Taij because he was preparing for his wedding.
As I sat in the chapel waiting for the wedding to start, I was still ignoring continuous calls from Tricey and Lyric.
I was still fuming as I sat on the groom’s side of the chapel. I couldn’t wait for this wedding to be over so that I could get my ass home and in the bed with a gawd damn drink!
Again, my phone was vibrating. It was Tricey this time, so I was about to turn the damn thing off just as a text message from Taij came through. It read:Come here. I am in the dressing room on the second floor.
Immediately I assumed that DeSire was up there cutting up, giving them a hard time while they tried to get her into that organza gown, so I rushed out of the sanctuary and up the stairs. There were many of both Taij and Kim’s family on the stairwell and in the hallways. I could see the continuous flash of cameras. Everyone looked beautiful for this grand affair. Taij was right. Kim’s father had gone over and beyond for this wedding. From the picture windows of the church, I could see the horse and carriage outside as it waited for Taij and Kim to become Mr. and Mrs.
Even I had attempted to spruce up a bit, as much as I could after a day like yesterday. Tricey had given me a really pretty royal blue Kate Spade sheath dress that was perfect for the occasion.
As I approached the dressing room that was tucked into a secluded hallway, I was expecting to hear my daughter’s cries, but I only heard the voices of Taij and his father.
I entered the dressing room hesitantly. As soon as they saw me, they fell silent. Yet, his father’s face was speaking volumes to Taij. He seemed to be giving him approval and encouragement. I thought it sweet that Taij needed the typical supportive and encouraging talk from his father before walking down the aisle.
“I’ll be right outside the door, son,” he told him as he left. As he passed me, he hugged and kissed my cheek.
As soon as the door was secure, Taij took a deep breath.
“What’s going on? What’s wrong? You need help with something?”
I stood in the middle of the floor waiting for him to spit it out as he seemed to lose himself in
the sight of me. It caught me off guard because Taij hadn’t looked at me like that in years.
Staring into my eyes so intensely that it gave me chills, he told me, “I didn’t know you felt like that.”
I was perplexed and didn’t hide it. “Felt like what?”
“I didn’t know that, after I cheated, you still felt like I was your everything. I didn’t know that you still loved me and that you actually wanted me to fix it.”
He was out of breath it seemed. It was like he could barely get the words out as he rocked nervously with his hands in the pockets of his tuxedo pants. He hadn’t completely gotten dressed. That was strange to me since everyone else was fully dressed and waiting to line up. He only wore his pants and an untucked tuxedo shirt.
His tie was even crooked, so I went to fix it. When I did, he grabbed my wrists gently. “Are you listening to me?”
Surprisingly, he continued to hold me, except now he was holding my hands while looking deep into my eyes.
“I heard you,” I finally answered. “I know you didn’t know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you try to fix it regardless, Taij? And why does it matter right now? Have you been drinking?”
We both laughed, but his laughter was full of nervousness.
“No, I haven’t been drinking.”
“So why are you acting like this? Why are we talking about this?”
“Because I want to fix it.”
I stepped back, causing our hands to disconnect. I looked at him in search of what he had really said because I thought I was hearing things. “Excuse me?”
“I want to fix it.”
“Fix what?”
“Us.” Still, I was completely confused as Taij continued to ramble. “I want my family. I always have, but I thought I ruined it. I have been seeing a side of you that I met in college. The night you found out that Tim died, I saw the woman that I fell in love with and the women that fell in love with me. I hadn’t seen her in years, and I missed her so much. Her and DeSire, that’s what I want. Let me fix it, Vic.”
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 101
