She knew about my origins, and I knew where her knowledge came from. On the road from Mehadia, both she and Calin acted courteously with the soldiers, always finding some time to talk to them, but only Ban knew about Arenia. Maybe it’s good a good thing to let word spread. Tudor was ‘born’ in Frankis, moved as a child to Livonia and returned three years ago – the official story that kept ‘us’ apart.
“A country far from here,” I said, in that serious voice someone would use when revealing an important secret, and she pushed me playfully – her reactions were sometimes exuberant, underlining the truth in her claim about ‘living again’, taking life in its full colors, to compensate for her long years of despair. “It’s true.”
“Really? Then I would like to hear about your long journey from there to here.” There was a moment of silence, memories I wanted to forget coming back to me in swift succession. “Another bad question,” she sighed. “Tell me whatever you want, mysterious man.”
“I left Arenia when still a child, fourteen years old, after my parents and sister were killed. My brother escaped with me, and he was five years older. A captain from my father’s guards joined us, too.” In all my stories, I never mentioned my brother and tutor’s names. I know it was not fair to their memory, but they would agree with me if a miracle let them speak again. “For almost a year, we stayed in Silvania, before riding west again. In the mountains, some robbers attacked us, and … and I ended up alone.” My voice was bruised from recalling their deaths, and in a reverse duplication of the evening before, Mara placed her hand over mine. I continued, recounting the version I had shared with Jara and Cernat, though some parts of the story I did not mention – there was no need to expose everything. When my story arrived in Severin, and I tried to stop, Mara pushed for more, and I agreed that some more information would do no harm.
“What about that famous duel in the spring?” Mara interrupted me when I stopped again. She was sitting half-turned toward me, her left elbow resting on the sofa’s backrest. We were almost face to face.
“You should not spy on me,” I frowned, half-amused; I had no intention of narrating the episode that had altered my life in such unpredictable ways. “When I am back in Severin, I will jail those soldiers.”
“Why? You liked their berries too,” she laughed. A few days after we left Mehadia, all the soldiers started to bring forest fruits to Mara’s children, which is to say, they were mostly for her. Sometimes there were so many fruits that in the evenings she spoiled me too. “That duel affected you,” she said, gently this time. “I know what happened at the wedding from our Chief of the Guards, so we can pass over it. Are you still living with Cernat?”
“I have a small house,” I said, hiding how I had received it; not that I was ungrateful to Jara, but it was too early to reveal all my bonds with her and her family. “I live there with Vlad.”
“This is your house, too,” Mara interrupted me. “Why not stay here?”
“Mara, the house is not mine, and I travel a lot,” I said, awkwardly.
“When you are not traveling. In the winter,” she said. “I will have a mysterious man to keep me entertained with stories. He isn’t bad-looking.” She turned my face a bit more. “Vlad can stay too, there is enough room,” she gestured around, “and two good swords will keep my children safer. See? I am not hiding anything. I know we can’t match your value, but the long winter evenings can be pleasant spent in company over a bottle of wine. There is no need to answer today,” she smiled, and gripped my hand stronger to enhance her plea. “It’s time to sleep now; we still have three evenings for stories.”
Alone in my room, I realized the truth in her words; the evenings here were a pleasant reminder of my first year in Jara’s house. Just that Saliné and Vio are missing. It was surprising how much Mara was able to replace Jara in such a short time. Maybe because their names rhyme, I smiled. And there were many resemblances between Cernat and Calin. Cernat is more trustworthy. There was something slippery about Calin, making me uneasy sometimes, but I needed him to reveal the underground political world of the former kingdom, and it was useful to contrast his and Cantemir’s interpretations of information. ‘After that, lady S’Severin and Cernat are no longer needed.’ I remembered. That will be next year. I need to know more.
The more I thought of that first year spent in Jara’s house, the more I realized that nothing could compare to it. Even if all of us moved back there again, we were now different people, and many things would just feed on our memories – we had changed, and maybe I had changed the most, yet how could I really know how Saliné was affected by everything that had happened? That cursed wedding, the aftermath, and losing Saliné had changed me in a more insidious way than losing my entire family. I became hardened, and sometimes unable to feel the beauty of life. I have to learn from Mara… At a deeper level, she had the same problems as me.
On my last evening there, Calin left me alone with Mara again, and our conversation went on longer than in the days before.
“The war will begin next year, the real one, and you will be asked to lead S’Severin’s army again. You will find it difficult to refuse. I am afraid...” Her voice wobbled, maybe because it was already after midnight.
“I am a soldier,” I stopped her. “I am used to fighting. Why should I refuse, and why are you afraid?” I asked, feeling oddly irritated by her concern. That war is my only chance to gain status and start the recovery of my crown.
“Maybe because I care. S’Severin is just a pawn in the great game, as are you, even more than him. But who cares about S’Severin?” she shrugged. “I mentioned him just to placate you. Nobody likes to be called a pawn,” she touched my hand, “but it’s the truth.”
“Then enlighten me,” I said trying to control my voice.
“That’s what we’ve been trying to do, but you are not listening. No, that’s incorrect, you are listening, but your mind is already settled, and you hear only what suits you to hear. S’Severin was framed. Cantemir allowed him to create his alliance to start the war he needed. Cantemir is the Master Sage, the chief of the Circle,” she reacted when my head turned suddenly toward her. “Everything was planned in detail. Duke Stefan will be advised to look the other way. The Devans will step back, and they have the strongest army in the ‘alliance’. They accepted the marriage and alliance because the Circle told them to. How Cernat could be so blind I don’t know. His granddaughter has the highest rank among the marked girls. She belongs to the new royal candidate the Circle selects next year. And the Sages will make sure Calin and his daughter can’t refuse anymore, killing them.”
She belongs... Killing... “Cernat trusts Devan. They are friends,” I said, because my mind was not prepared to consider Saliné’s fate and the idea of killing them. And I trusted Cantemir... I played my game. Did he outplay me? Is he aware who Tudor is? And Balan?
“You can’t trust anyone these days. Codrin, please keep this in mind. It will save you from dire situations. You are a stranger and alone. Wait before taking such hard decisions. Promise me,” she touched my face. “Please,” she pleaded against my silence, and I just nodded, unable to provide a coherent answer. “Thank you for training Mihai,” she said, inviting me to give her my impressions – for Mara, the political lesson I received had ended; for me was it just the start of more uncertainties. In the last three days, I had kept my word, given in Mehadia, and trained him.
“His speed and coordination are above average. With enough training, he will become a good swordsman.” Yet what impressed me the most was his seriousness, as if he was no longer a child. Told to repeat a certain move a hundred times he would do it with no complaints. I whined a lot when Tudor made me repeat the Assassins Dance. My training started at Mihai’s age. “He is very intelligent and well suited for Secretary. No wonder,” I pointed at her. “Why is Mihai so serious?”
“He was old enough to understand some … things that were happening in my marriage. When that bloody man came b
ack two months ago, Mihai tried to defend me. You know well how,” she smiled. “He was kicked hard by his … father, but somehow I escaped another night of miseries, and then my man left the city with the army. It’s late now,” she abruptly ended the conversation, standing up, and I had to follow her. “You want to leave early in the morning, and you know what a lazy woman I am, so we must take our leave now.”
“Well,” I said, disappointed, “then good bye.”
“Have a safe journey to Severin,” she said, embracing me gently, and with a delay born from my surprise, I answered in kind. “Codrin, this is your house,” she whispered in my ear. “I am not talking about a few papers,” she stopped my words about ownership, and her head moved back from my shoulder, her arms still around my neck, letting our eyes meet again. “Without you, my father would have been dead, and I would have been forced to do ... many things to save my children. Come back whenever you want, and maybe you will stay for the winter.”
“My southern travels will bring me here,” I said, neutrally, not saying anything about winter.
“I wanted to tell you something this evening. You are the kind of man I wish I had met a long time ago. Now, it’s ten years and two children too late. All those years of misery gifted me with two wonderful children. They are my life now, and I will not marry again, it wouldn’t be fair to them and to my husband – I can’t have children anymore. I hope you will find the wife you deserve, but until then...” In that moment of astonishment, her voice was gentle and edgy at the same time, filled with many feelings, both happy and sad. Her lips touched mine, and I could no longer control myself.
When we separated, her right hand touched my face again, while the other still rested around my neck. “Isn’t that strange?” Mara asked, some sadness filling her voice. “I was married for eight years, and have two children, yet this is my first kiss. I feel so young,” she laughed, and that chased her sadness away. “If I don’t take into consideration the beatings and how they were spread, my husband was interested in only a small part of my anatomy.”
Without thinking, I pulled her closer, searching for her lips again – my hands were still around her waist – but she stopped me, her palm touching my mouth.
“I will join you for breakfast tomorrow. Such a lazy woman you think I am,” she laughed. “We couldn’t have our peculiar farewell in the morning, could we?”
I kissed her hand, and we left the room in silence. What could I say?
Chapter 24 - Codrin
On the way back, my thoughts turned more and more to Saliné, the narrowing distance stirring my mind, and from time to time, Mara disturbed me too. There was no way to deny that I enjoyed our moment of closeness. How long was it? A minute? Two? How strange that I never kissed a woman twice. I did not know how to react further without hurting Mara, and there was no one to advise me in such delicate matters apart from Jara, but how could I ask her? It’s easier to win a battle than understand a woman. Mara was brave to refuse marriage, but I knew that deep in her heart she wanted a normal life with a caring husband to stay and protect her family. She was a wonderful woman and I liked her, but there was Saliné and I could not be that man. How can I go to Orhei again? I need to go there.
We arrived home in the morning. It was a magnificent day until an invitation for dinner at the castle appeared – someone had spread the news that we were back – and I forced myself to refuse it, because of a sudden fear gnawing at me. What if Saliné and Bucur... I could not forget that Bucur, because of Mohor’s stupidity, had spent almost two months here with Saliné, and I was not yet prepared to face that reality. Dana made food for us, and I thought again that there might be some chemistry between her and Vlad.
The next afternoon, Cernat arrived like a storm, and asked me to come with him. “Mohor’s army was defeated,” he said.
“He sent me home after we conquered Mehadia.” There was both incredulity and bitterness in my voice. Has the war already started...?
“Mohor was an idiot.” This was the first time I had heard Grand Seigneur Cernat using such an inelegant word. “His ridiculous attachment to Aron will destroy us.”
“Your problem,” I said, dryly.
“Please come with me,” he said, ignoring my jibe.
I accepted from a sudden curiosity to learn what had happened, and we rode in silence, for a while. I could feel the tension moving through his body.
“Mohor,” Cernat finally said, then stopped as if he could not find the words. “Mohor has a strength that at times is his weakness, and you were the most affected by it. He has a very strong sense of loyalty and attachment to Aron. It comes from his childhood, when his father was killed, poisoned by his uncle. Mohor was only fifteen.”
One year older than me … and uncles seem to be dangerous everywhere. Cernat provoked some old memories, yet I was surprised to feel them as distant, almost as if they were not mine.
“Senal and Aron fought hard to save him. Aron even killed Mohor’s uncle in the battle for the Seigneury. I am sure there will be some recriminations today, but try to understand him better from what I have told you. We are living in dangerous times.”
You made them dangerous.
We entered the castle, passing among the remnants of the army: no more than a hundred and fifty, and many wounded, yet they came home like an army, not some bands of disorganized soldiers. Some may have deserted, I thought. It was not possible to lose two hundred soldiers in a battle; even Big Mouth was not that stupid. Ambush? That might have done it.
In the council room, there was only the family, Vio included. It was her first attendance at a council. You want to put pressure on me, I understood the meaning of her presence. Their fear was obvious, it was gnawing at them, and they needed me. It will not happen. I stared at Saliné, and she avoided my eyes. I have lost her... Vio smiled a smile that looked somehow guilty to me, as if she knew the reason for her presence. I smiled back, sadly, because of Saliné, and took a seat without being invited, next to Vio, waiting patiently. I will not speak first. Before sitting, I ruffled her hair as I had many times in the past. Under the table, her hand grasped mine, and we stayed like this for a few moments. She smiled again, before settling her hands over the table, and I ignored everybody else in the room.
Mohor was only a shadow of himself, and he moved uneasily in his chair. You are wounded, I suddenly realized. His left hand was stiff and supported with a sling, tied around his neck. You deserve it.
“You want to know what happened,” Mohor finally spoke, avoiding looking at me. He stopped, waiting for a reaction from my side – there was none. “Orban’s army attacked us by surprise, after we left Mehadia.”
“I left three teams of scouts on the northern border to watch every move there.”
“It was so calm that we decided to let our soldiers rest, and disbanded the teams. They were tired after two months of…”
“You never decided anything,” I snapped.
“Codrin,” Cernat interjected. “Mohor understands his mistake; he has made it clear to all of us.”
“You don’t even know what happened there,” I retorted.
“I think we received a fair perspective of everything happening there, good or bad,” Cernat replied, stubbornly.
“Did Mohor tell you that Bucur tried to kill me? The coward attacked me from behind, and I was not even armed.”
“I warned you when he attacked…” Mohor said, annoyed.
“He did that?” Vio asked, incredulous. “I don’t know what you see in Bucur,” she growled at Saliné, who gripped the table until her knuckles went white.
“Vio!” Jara stopped her. “We have more important things to discuss now.”
You deserve it.
Speechless, Saliné was just a marble statue, unable even to blink, her eyes staring nowhere. Cernat and Jara frowned at Mohor, who just shrugged, void of will.
“Mohor, we are in a very bad situation and you are not really helping right now,” Cernat hammered at h
im in a velvet voice.
“I arrested Bucur, but Mohor freed him overnight and sent him here. That night you assured your own defeat, by helping a traitor,” I continued, having the impression that Saliné was fainting. She slipped on her chair, then recovered a little, hardly breathing. Your precious Bucur. “Big Mouth ran again in the first clash. Your brave man,” I stared at Mohor. “His soldiers tried to kill me after we won the battle, and you did nothing. Each night I had to sleep with several guards, just to be sure I would be still alive the next morning.”
“Codrin,” Cernat stopped me. “I agree that you have a long list of vexations, but Orban’s army arrives here in four to five days. Three hundred soldiers. We have one hundred forty able to fight, right now. If everything goes well, we might almost match their number in two days.” Cernat’s short summary redirected the talk from recrimination to planning, and I had to admire his determination. “The army we have is not a strong one. Our only hope is you, Codrin.”
“My term as army commander has ended,” I said, dryly.
“There is much anger in you, Codrin,” Cernat stared at me. “I understand that. You may not be able to make a decision today, and we are not asking for that. Just think how you would feel if everything were to be destroyed here.” His hand gestured toward Saliné and Vio, and the pressure was now on me; Cernat had the most subtle and intricate mind and understanding of things of all the people I knew there.
Maybe only Cantemir is equal to him…, I thought, staring at Cernat.
“Codrin,” Jara took over, and I suddenly had the feeling of a well-prepared strategy to include me in their plans. “Do you remember what I told you when you left? That some things are not what they appear? The time is now right for you and Saliné. Do you want to marry her?”
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