Tamryn opened her mouth, then closed it. She shook her head. “I moved on. You have to, too. It will just never be like it was, you know? Jake’s better off without me, and frankly, I’m all the better without him.”
“You don’t believe that.”
“I do.” She forced a smile. “I’m quite happy.”
Reed glanced pointedly at her stack of orders. “Frosting someone else’s cakes?”
Tamryn scowled. “Just go, Reed. You came to convince me to come back to Jake’s, and it’s just not going to happen.”
Besides, Jake had been frosting someone else’s cakes for as long as she could remember.
“TB—”
She held up a hand. “Don’t call me that.”
Reed sighed. “I’m sorry. Please just consider coming home. He misses you.”
Her heart pinched, but she pushed away the pain. “Like an old family puppy, Reed, nothing more. I can’t keep living like that.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Oh?” She met his dark gaze. “Tell me then. How much does Jake miss me?”
Reed opened his mouth to speak, but Tamryn raised a hand.
“Better yet, tell me how many women he’s had in his home since I’ve left. He still fucking Gennie for you?” She gasped on the question, slamming her hand over her mouth.
Reed’s mouth crashed shut, and Tamryn didn’t know if the loud thud she heard was his jaw closing or her heart plummeting to the floor. How could she have said something so awful? Reed didn’t deserve her wrath.
“Reed, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head, his hazel eyes a little less bright. “It’s all good, Tamryn. I’ll see you around.”
He turned and left the back room, shoulders slightly slumped. Tamryn’s eyes welled up, but she squeezed them shut and swiped the wetness away.
Fucking Jake. All of this was his fault.
By the end of Tamryn’s shift, her shoulders were heavy with ache from both the posture she’d held all day while frosting other people’s cakes, and the weight of the words she’d said to Reed.
She had to make things right.
Unfortunately, the only sure place to find Reed at this time of night was at Jake’s, and, that wasn’t happening. Checking the clock on the dash one more time, she decided to head to his house and leave him a note. It was all she could think to do, and she had to do something. There was no way she could sit idle after saying something so awful to Reed today.
She drove Charlie’s rickety old truck out past The Bar without consciously assessing the cars parked in front—no sign of Jake’s truck—or the people standing outside—was that Gennie?—and she kept right on going until she hit old Highway 45. After a few miles on 45, she turned down the first dirt road she could find, and rattled all the way to the Samuels family farm.
She pulled up alongside Reed’s truck; guess he wasn’t at work tonight.
Relief and nervousness tickled her belly with butterflies; she’d have to face him instead of writing her apology in a note. Tamryn inhaled a deep breath, then stepped outside, mustering all the courage she could, confident in her words—she’d rehearsed them during the twenty-five minute drive—but unable to ignore the twisting tendrils of fear in her gut. What if he didn’t accept her apology?
What if she’d managed to push Reed away, too?
She turned off the engine and looked up as Reed strolled through the doorway, screen banging closed behind him. He took the stairs two at a time, racing toward the truck. Of course he’d heard her arrival; nothing but insect songs filled the still night air.
She took one last, deep breath, then opened the truck door and stepped down.
Now or never.
Chapter
Sixteen
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Reed asked as he quickly approached.
“Nothing. I mean, yeah, I’m okay.”
He sighed, stopping a foot away. “You never drive all the way out here, and it’s almost midnight.” He glanced at the truck, then back at Tamryn. “What’s wrong?”
She smiled; these boys were always so worried about her. Had their concern really been so bad? Had being protected and safe been such an awful feeling? “God, you’re so much like Colby.” She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Reed’s neck. “I’m so sorry for what I said today, Reed.”
His shoulders relaxed and he wrapped his arms around her waist, squeezing tightly. He chuckled into her hair. “Damn, Tamryn, is that all? You had me in a panic.”
She pulled back, looking up into his eyes. “You’re not mad at me?”
“Heck no. You were right to lash out; I shouldn’t have pushed you. But, that reminds me…you have to leave.” He started to pull back, releasing the grip he had on her waist. “I’m not alone—”
The screen door slammed shut, echoing in the stillness of the night, and startling Tamryn a foot backwards. She gasped, looking up at the doorway, then her breath caught in her throat.
She’d know that silhouette anywhere.
Her stomach collided with the earth at her feet.
Framed in the amber light from inside, so that his face was hidden in darkness, Jake stood on the porch, arms rigid and fists clenched.
“Shit,” Tamryn whispered. No wonder she hadn’t seen his truck outside his bar. She risked a quick glance around. Sure enough, beneath the old willow tree, next to the big muddy tractor, sat Jake’s truck. I’m so stupid.
Reed cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I tried to tell you.”
“So, this is why you had to go ‘check on the barn’, buddy? A secret meeting with TB?” He stepped down each step, slowly, menacingly.
Tamryn’s emotions ricocheted between anger, happiness, and guilt. She’d been caught with Reed again, innocently this time, but it wouldn’t look like that to Jake. And there’d be no point in arguing. Bull-headed was an understatement when it came to Jake Johnson.
Reed raised his hands, palms out. “It’s not what you think.”
“Isn’t it? Looks like you’ve snuck off to be with TB, right under my nose. Again.” He crossed his arm, stopping at the last step, his face now a bit less covered in shadow, and his gaze unquestionably on Tamryn. “Never really considered you the late night booty call type.”
Tamryn opened her mouth on a rebuttal, then stopped herself. What Jake thought of her was no longer her concern. She closed her eyes and counted to ten as she inhaled a deep breath, readying herself to get back into the truck. Reed and Jake could sort this out amongst themselves.
The rumbling growl of a motorcycle approached, echoing loudly in the palpable silence between the three of them, growing louder as it approached the Samuels’ family farm. Tamryn opened her eyes and stared down the long drive as one headlight grew larger in the darkness.
“Now who the fuck is this?”
Reed shrugged, then looked at Tamryn as Charlie pulled up on his old dirt bike, an arc of dirt and gravel spraying up behind him as he skidded to a stop a few feet from where she stood with Reed. “Friend of yours?” Reed’s voice was hard.
Tamryn looked from Reed to Jake, then back at Reed, before she rushed to meet Charlie. “What are you doing here?” she growled. As if this fire needed any more fuel.
“You never came home after work. I went by The Bar, but Gen said she saw you head out this way just a few minutes before I got there.”
“So you thought following me was necessary?” Tamryn shook her head. Did she have to move to another state to get out from beneath all this patronizing concern for her? “I’m fine, Charlie.” She threw her hands up into the air, spinning around so she could almost face all three of them. “God, seriously? When will every man in my life stop treating me like a fucking child? You guys have to stop! I’m not a little girl anymore! My brother is dead. My addiction-addled excuse for a mother is MIA. My fucking love life is a joke. My career has become a part-time job at the fucking Dixie. So what? Who cares? Do I have to leave town to get out from all of
your watchful fucking eyes? For how concerned you all are for me, it’s funny how none of you actually give a shit about what I need or want.”
Tamryn stomped to the truck, tears fighting at the back of her eyes, her composure hanging on by a quickly unraveling thread. She’d call Luce in the morning; maybe there was room for one more in that tiny apartment. New York had to be far enough away from these guys.
Jake raced toward her. “TB, wait—”
She rounded on him. “Don’t come any closer.”
He skidded to a stop, mouth open to argue, hands sort of flapping by his sides.
“You’ve lost any right to tell me what to do.”
Reed reached her side before Jake did, and reached for her arm—
“Don’t you touch her,” Jake snapped.
Tamryn met Reed’s gaze as he lowered his hand. He looked away from her at the ground.
She scoffed. “Seriously? Don’t touch me? You’re going to listen to that, Reed?”
Charlie stepped off his bike, helmet in hand. He reached Tamryn and placed a hand on her lower back. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”
Tamryn spun on him. “Don’t you get it, Charlie? You don’t need to take me anywhere. I’m just fine on my own.” She turned back around to climb into the truck. “I can damn well take care of myself—” her words faded as the sharp smack of Jake’s knuckles slammed against Charlie’s cheek.
Tamryn looked over just in time to watch Charlie stumble backward, gripping his jaw.
Tamryn gasped, then turned to Jake, who stood rigid, shaking his hand. Scowling, she closed the distance between them, mustered all of her strength, and pushed him.
He faltered back a step, surprised by her attack, his eyes wide.
“Jake! What the hell is wrong with you?” She rushed to Charlie’s side. “Charlie, let me look.” She reached for his cheek, but he shrugged away from her hand.
“I’m fine.” He nodded toward Jake, his lips curled. “That’s your big prize? That’s the love of your life?” He scoffed as he slid back onto his bike. “I don’t get it, Tammy. I just don’t get it. I would never treat you the way he does—”
“She doesn’t want you, kid,” Jake snarled.
Tamryn closed her eyes, grappling with the fact that Charlie had just said ‘love of your life’ out loud. Had Jake heard those words too? She hoped he was still too consumed with rage to have heard the truth fall so blatantly from Charlie’s lips.
“Charlie…” She opened her eyes, chewing on her bottom lip as tears streamed down her cheeks.
Charlie’s shoulders slumped and he shook his head, the sharp lines of anger fading from his face, replaced with a shadow of defeat. “Get on, Tammy. Me and Roc’ll come back for the truck in the morning.”
Tamryn’s hands shook, but she obeyed, climbing onto Charlie’s bike behind him. Her eyes were so full of tears, her vision was blurred. Driving would be a bad idea anyway. He placed his helmet on her head, then frowned as he tightened the strap.
“Don’t go,” Jake pleaded. “We need to talk.”
“I have nothing to say.” The words were muffled by the helmet. More tears fell, but she didn’t look back at Jake.
Charlie sighed, gave a curt nod, then turned back around. “Hold on tight.” He kicked the stroke until the bike growled to life beneath them.
Tamryn wrapped her arms around his waist, turning her head to the side that Jake wasn’t standing on so she didn’t have to try to discern the look in his eyes, and squeezed tighter when Charlie threw the bike into gear and took off down the road.
She thought she heard Jake call out to her, but couldn’t be sure over the roar of the dirt bike. Tears continued to stream, drying on her cheeks from the wind as they raced through town to the other side, as far as she could be from Jake without actually moving to a different town.
Though, in her heart, she’d never felt further from him than at this moment. Physical distance had nothing on the gaping chasm between them now.
“Now you’ve done it!”
Jake stepped back as Reed rounded on him, hands in the air.
“You’re a right fool, you know it?”
Jake frowned, shaking his head, his shoulders still tightly bunched around his neck. “What are you rambling on about, traitor?” His lip curled as that last word lingered on his tongue. Traitor. Reed had betrayed him again. Colby never would have done such a thing to Jake. Not with TB, obviously, but with any girl. His heart pinched at the thought, then fell as thoughts of Colby morphed into images of TB, tears on her cheeks, arms wrapped around that Charlie kid and riding off into the night.
Away from Jake. Again.
Reed dropped his hands to his sides. “I slept with her once, Jake, once. It was a mistake. I’ve apologized.”
“What was this little secret meeting about then? She wants round two? Can’t get enough of Reed Samuels?”
Reed inhaled, squaring his shoulders. Jake recognized the glint in his best friend’s eyes. He braced himself for the truth; that’s what that determined glint meant: truth bombs. Whether Jake wanted to hear them or not. He could read his oldest friend like a book, goddammit, and he hated it sometimes.
Times like this.
Jake’s mouth opened before he could stop himself from speaking. “All this time you’re telling me she loves me, trying to convince me to get her back here…for what? So you could have an easier time fucking her?”
Reed swung, and whether Jake was too tired or too full of self-loathing, he didn’t know, but he braced himself for the attack instead of dodging or blocking it.
Knuckles slammed into Jake’s jaw, a crack echoing through the field. His head whipped back, and he reached up reflexively to rub his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, pain throbbing through his mouth, his jaw, ringing in his ears. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, stretching the muscles, now tight from assault. After a few long seconds, he opened his eyes, closed his mouth, dropped his hands, and met Reed’s glare.
“I deserved that.”
Reed exhaled a loud breath. “You’re damn right you deserved that.” He lowered his arms, shoulders relaxing, then shook his hand out. “I went to see Tamryn at work today; you know that dream job she has over at the WD?” He paused, letting that sink in.
As if Jake had forgotten that TB was now baking for the customers of the local super market instead of for him. In his kitchen. Safe within his home.
“Foolishly,” Reed continued, “I tried to fight your fight and get her to come back to work.”
Jake smiled, in spite of himself. “Which only pissed her off.”
“Yeah. No kidding.”
“She doesn’t like being told what to do.” An image of TB’s arms crossed over her chest, and that defiant glint in her eye formed in his mind. “So, what happened then?” He tried to ignore the little flutter of hope in his chest.
“Well, she basically told me to go fuck myself, just not in so many words.”
Jake cringed. “What were the words, exactly?”
Reed frowned, pulling his gaze away from Jake’s.
Uh oh. “Give it to me straight, man.”
“She asked me if you were still fucking Gen for me.”
Jake’s eyebrows bunched together as he processed the words. “She’s mad about Gennie?”
He thought she’d been mad about that blonde chick he’d fucked outside The Bar, but…had she been mad about Gen this whole time, too? He ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t…”
Reed shook his head, blowing air through his lips. “She asked if you were still fucking her for me, Jake. For me.”
Jake looked back at Reed, taking a deep breath. His eyes widened, and he reached up to rub his hand over his hair, slowly, as each piece of the puzzle settled like bricks in his chest. “You’re still in love with Gennie.”
Reed raised his shoulders, then dropped them slowly, a long, drawn out shrug of agreement.
“Holy shit, man.” Jake started to pace. “I thought
that was ancient history.” He ran his hand through his hair, as if rubbing his scalp would help his brain work faster.
“It is.” Reed smiled sadly. “For her.”
“What have I done?” He’d hurt the two most important people in his life, that’s what he’d done. Killed two birds with one Gennie.
“You didn’t know.”
“Some good that did! I should have known. You’re my best friend. How could I be so blind?”
Reed laughed. “Johnson, you can’t even see that you’ve been in love with Tamryn Baker since she first sprouted tits; I can’t fault you for being blind to who I’m in love with if you can’t even figure out your own shit.”
Chapter
Seventeen
Tamryn’s hands still shook when Charlie pulled the bike to a stop in front of the old Mills’ place. Tears continued to pool, running over the dried tracks of those that had fallen before them.
She climbed off Charlie’s bike in a daze, then turned and began to walk inside.
“Whoa, hold on.” Charlie slid his fingers around her wrist and pulled her back. “You’re still wearing the helmet.”
“Oh.”
She stared blankly past him into the darkness in the direction of the pond.
Charlie sighed as he unbuckled the strap and slowly removed the helmet from her head.
Tamryn vaguely registered what a relief it was to have that thing off; her high ponytail should have been taken down before they left, but she hadn’t thought of it. Hadn’t thought of much of anything except Jake. Now her head throbbed with the release of the tension, and she reached up to pull the rubber band free, her long, blonde hair flowing loosely, her scalp prickling with the release.
Charlie placed the helmet on the seat of his bike, then reached his hands up to cup her cheeks, his fingertips in her hair on either side. “Hey, hey now, stop crying, Tammy. He’s not worth it.” He rubbed his thumbs across her cheeks, smearing the tears. “He’s not worth it.”
His words only made her cry harder, the tears fall faster. That was the thing…Jake was worth it; she knew that all too well. With all his faults and all his mistakes, Jake had always been the love of her life, and probably always would be. She knew why he was so afraid to love, to connect, understood his fear…loved him for it, in spite of it, maybe even because of it. They had so much in common, her and Jake, so much loss, so much sadness. They’d gotten through it all, together, had formed a bond she’d once thought was unbreakable.
Whiskey Burned (Flawed Heroes Book 2) Page 10
