Reed stood taller, mimicking Jake’s stance. “We’re not doing this again right now. She’s not okay, and I’m not going to let her drive home.”
Jake looked past Reed, eyes softening around the edges. “TB? You okay?”
Tamryn shook her head, eyes closing on a long blink. “I’m fine, Jake. Why wouldn’t I be?” She waved her hand between her and Reed the way he just had. “This isn’t a thing.” Scowling, she motioned more wildly between herself and Jake. “And this sure isn’t a fucking thing, so no need for concern there, big brother.”
Jake tilted his head, eyes narrowing for the slightest of seconds, so Tamryn smiled sweetly.
“She’s drunker than Cooter Brown.” Jake glared at Reed. “But then you already know that, don’t you, buddy?”
Reed stepped forward, squaring his shoulders. “I don’t think alcohol is the problem, buddy; she was messed up when I got here. What did you do?”
“You two peacockin’ again, boys?” Randy pushed the screen door open and stepped inside. “Always a damn pissin’ contest with you two.”
Luce and Gennie followed behind Randy. Too many cooks in the kitchen.
In slow, somewhat blurry motion, Tamryn watched as Randy bumped into Jake, sending him forward. Reed reacted to the sudden movement of Jake rushing toward him, swinging his fist in a backward arc, then clocking Jake across the jaw.
With the sharp crack of knuckles on skin, Jake’s head whipped back. In a flash, he righted himself, cocked his arm back and swung at Reed, and in seconds the guys were a mess of limbs and blows on the floor. Randy and the girls tried to stop the chaos, but arms and legs swung out, knocking Gennie to the floor. A knife block teetered on the edge of the island, but Tamryn steadied it before it fell onto Gennie’s head.
Tamryn watched the boys on the floor, then her brain kicked into gear; this was her time to escape without any questioning. She grabbed Reed’s keys off the hook by the pantry, then slipped quietly from the kitchen as Gennie’s shrieking filled the room and Randy jumped into the melee to stop his friends from killing one another.
Luce would surely notice her absence and follow her outside, but Tamryn hoped to be long gone before that happened. She scanned the dirt lot for Reed’s truck, then jogged to it as quickly as she could. She had only moments before Luce came looking for her.
She climbed in, then slammed the key against the ignition, repeatedly bumping metal against metal. Leaning down, she held her hand as steady as she could, closed one eye to streamline her vision, and slid the key into the ignition. The engine rumbled to life and she screeched out of the lot, sending a cloud of dust up behind her as she tore out onto the highway.
She giggled as the truck tipped to one side, a tire in the air as she hit the road, a small apathetic part of her broken soul wishing for a crash. They were fighting over her well-being again, but had any of them noticed she’d disappeared? Jake didn’t care about her unless he thought she was fucking someone else. Well, he could go fuck himself. .
She held the wheel as firmly as she could, one eye squeezed tightly shut. The road blurred before her, at times appearing as one straight road, then morphing into two. “Shit.” She slammed her fist against the steering wheel, sending the truck into the opposite lane for a few long seconds. She shouldn’t be driving.
What was she thinking getting behind the wheel in her condition?
She looked over her shoulder to make sure the road was clear and started to pull to the side, but the steering was different in Reed’s truck than Charlie’s, easier and quicker to respond, so the truck swerved quickly to the right, nearly plowing straight off the shoulder and into the field below. She yanked the wheel to the left, heart thudding in her ears and right leg trembling on the pedal, but she overcorrected, and the truck tipped onto two wheels, rocked a couple of times, skid toward the ravine running parallel to the road.
The sharp sound of metal screeching along asphalt was almost deafening. The angry moan of metal reforming under pressure screamed into the serene afternoon. Then the screech of something stretching and cracking as weight shifted unnaturally. The truck flipped onto its side, slamming Tamryn against the opposite door, then slid to a stop against a grassy bank. The whine of the engine idling in a car still running with no road to meet was only slightly louder than the unmistakable trickle of liquid hitting the ground. The scents of burning rubber and gasoline filled the air.
Pain radiated through Tamryn’s skull, blackness closing in around her vision as something wet trickled into her eye. Crumpled up into a ball, she couldn’t move her right arm, pinned beneath her body. The more she tried to move, the more pain surged within her, nerves firing on full blast even through the haze of too much alcohol. Neck tilted and twisted to the side against the ground, she allowed herself a quick moment of thanks that the window had been down and she hadn’t crashed into glass.
The things you think of in times like this.
She stared at the blades of grass just inches away from her nose as her eyes lost focus.
The slow whir of spinning tires lulled her into the darkness waiting just behind her eyes.
Chapter
Twenty-Six
Jake stood, pushing Reed away and searching the room. “Where’s TB?” His heart jumped into his throat as the memory of keys scraping the counter floated to the surface of his mind. She’d left while they’d been rolling around like a couple of punks, and he only just registered the sound, the realization. “She’s driving.” Eyes wide, heart pounding, he met Reed’s gaze. “What have we done?”
Pushing past him, Reed ran for the front of the house and rushed outside. Jake followed, panic seizing his chest, TB’s girlfriend on his heels.
“What the fuck did you guys do to her?” Lucy asked, her eyes narrowed as she glared between Jake and Reed.
Reed ignored the question, scanning the parking lot. “Shit. She’s in my truck.”
Jake’s heart froze in his chest as panic gripped him. “She can’t have gotten far; come on.” He pulled his keys from his pocket and hopped behind the wheel of his own truck as Reed jumped into the passenger seat. “Stay here in case she comes back,” he hollered at Lucy.
The girl’s eyes flared with anger. “She better come back!”
“Fuck!” Jake slammed his hand against the wheel and raced toward the highway, screeching to a stop at the edge. “Which way?”
Reed glanced in both directions, then back at Jake. “Charlie’s?”
Jake shook his head in frustration, then hooked a right and left half of the rubber from his tires on the road outside The Bar.
Scanning the road from side to side, checking each parking lot they passed, Jake raced toward the west end of town. He couldn’t think, could barely focus; fear gripped his chest with relentless force.
He couldn’t lose her too.
“What did you do to her, Jake?”
Jake shot a glare at Reed, then softened. “What didn’t I do?”
“I mean today.”
“I know.” He shook his head, shame warming his cheeks. “I fucked her, Reed.”
Reed ran his hand over his face. “Then what? That alone couldn’t have caused this.”
Jake glanced at his friend, cringing from Reed’s frown. “I gave her the ol’ Jake Johnson fuck ‘em and forget ‘em.”
Reed sucked in a breath. “No, you didn’t. Not Tamryn.”
“I promised Colby I’d take care of her.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t touch her, Reed; she’s Colby’s kid sister. I can’t touch her! I promised him!” Jake’s knuckles whitened on the wheel.
“You promised to protect her, Jake, to look after her, keep her safe—”
“I know!”
“Don’t you think protecting her heart counts as keeping her safe?”
Jake sucked in a breath. “I told you, I made a mistake! It won’t happen ag—”
“Oh God.”
Jake side-eyed Reed. “I know, man, I really fucked up.”
/> Reed’s wide eyes stopped Jake’s words. He followed his friend’s gaze to the side of the road, and his heart nearly jumped from his chest.
Wheels still spinning, Reed’s old Ford lay on its side in the field.
Jake skidded to a stop, jumping out of the truck as it rolled a few more feet, the old truck slow to register it was in park. “Tamryn!” he ran to the truck, searching the surrounding area for TB. “Tamryn! Answer me!”
She moaned, muffled and distant, and he swung his head around, swiveling from side to side as he spun in a slow circle, searching for her. Fuck, if she was pinned beneath it…
“In here,” Reed shouted, stepping up onto the bed of the truck and motioning toward the cab. “Call nine-one-one!”
Jake yanked his phone from his pocket and dialed as he ran to the truck and peered down into the driver’s side window. The operator answered, but Jake didn’t hear anything past the roar of blood in his ears. The phone fell from his grasp. TB lay in a heap against the passenger side door, her neck bent at an odd angle, blood trickling a map of red lines all over her face. Tears flooded his vision; he blinked frantically to bring her back into focus. “Her neck…it’s…” A strangled sound left his lips and he squeezed his eyes shut.
A few feet away, Reed spoke into Jake’s phone, the sounds nonsensical in Jake’s ears.
“TB, I’m here. I’m here. Dammit, please don’t leave me. I can’t lose you too. Please hold on, help’s coming. I’m here, TB, I’m here. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He muttered the words over and over, a whispered plea, waiting for help to arrive and staring at his heart outside of his own body, crumpled and broken inside Reed’s totaled truck. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I’m so sorry.
His arms ached to hold her, his heart ached to heal her.
And it was all his fault.
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
A slight concussion, a broken pinky, severe whiplash, a Tibial shaft fracture in her left leg, and a few bruised ribs. She was lucky to be alive, they’d told him. Because of the booze. Both the cause of the accident and Tamryn’s ultimate salvation, keeping her body loose during the critical few seconds of that crash.
Jake had never left her side. He rode with her to the hospital, held onto her unmoving hand as they wheeled her inside on the gurney, stood outside the door as they examined her, patched her up, ran tests, whispered assumptions and judgements about the twenty-two-year-old drunk driver who ‘could have killed someone’.
He wanted to scream at them, wanted to punch something. This wasn’t TB, wasn’t the beautiful girl he knew. They didn’t know who they were whispering about! She didn’t just go around drinking and driving, carelessly taking her life—and the lives of others—into her own hands.
He wanted to scream at them, “I’m the reason she did this! I should go to jail!”
But he didn’t. Because it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t fix the pain she felt—more pain he’d caused.
TB had drunk at least three martinis, which in her small frame was well over the legal limit, then gotten behind the wheel. She was lucky to be alive. No thanks to Jake.
If only he’d paid more attention to her broken heart instead of his own…
He paced her hospital room now, matching his steps to the slow beep of the monitors, reassuring himself with the steady tempo of the beats.
Reed appeared in the doorway, flowers in hand. “You been home yet?”
Jake clenched his jaw. “No. I’m not leaving her.”
Reed sighed, then stepped inside the room. “I can’t imagine she’ll want to see you. I’m sorry, man, but…”
Jake gave a curt nod. “I know. Just…just give me a little more time. I can’t leave her yet.”
Reed smiled sadly, placed the flowers on the bedside table, then leaned over and kissed TB’s temple. Jake’s chest tightened, but he didn’t say anything. He would never voice his jealousy again.
Reed straightened and met Jake’s eyes, shaking his head as he stepped toward him. “There’s nothing between us, Jake. She loves you.”
Jake searched Reed’s gaze, his heart a thick lump, blocking his breath from his lungs. He shook his head, then cleared his throat. “She can’t love me. I’m no good for her.”
Reed frowned. “Not right now, you’re not. She deserves better than what you’re willing to give. So does Colby.” He patted Jake on the shoulder as he passed. At the doorway he paused. “Luce is on her way.”
Jake tensed. She’d given him nothing but scathing lectures since the accident.
“It’s been three days. Go home, man.”
Tears slipped down Jake’s cheek. He’d let her down, let Colby down…
He stepped toward the bed and sat in the chair beside her. Taking TB’s small hand in his, he leaned over and rested his forehead on her hand. “I really messed everything up, didn’t I?” He kissed her hand, careful to avoid the IV. “But I love you, kiddo. I love you so much. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out…I’m…so sorry I broke your heart.” He looked up at her peaceful face. “How many times?” He thought of all the women parade in front of her, brought into their home, the casual fucks, the nights with Gennie clawing at his back, TB right down the hall. A sob escaped his lips. “How long,” he whispered, the words so muted he could barely hear them himself, “how long have you loved me?”
Jake stood, wiping the tears from his eyes. He licked his lips and swallowed hard, the gaping hole in his chest threatening to swallow him up. This next part would be the worst moment of his life, worse than his father’s death, worse than losing Colby…
He’d rather die than walk away from her, but it was time. He’d caused her nothing but pain.
“I’m no good for you, TB. Look what loving me has done to you.” He glanced around the hospital room. “I have to honor my promise to Colby, honor my love for you. I have to keep you safe, and that includes your heart.”
If that meant staying away, so be it.
The monitor beeped a few times in quicker succession. Jake’s heart froze with his breath as he watched the lines spike, then slow again.
Jake leaned over her, brought his lips to her temple, just beneath the crown of bandages, and kissed her gently. “I think I’ve always loved you too,” he whispered. “Goodbye.”
Allowing himself one long second to take in her face one last time, really take it in, memorize the softness of her cheeks, the slight lift of the tip her nose, he stood, then turned around and left the hospital room—and his heart—behind.
Everyone he loved passed away. And now, he’d almost lost TB.
Never again.
Outside the hospital room, he pulled his phone from his jacket pocket, ignored the agony ripping through his chest, and dialed Reed.
He picked up on the first ring. “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”
“She’s the same. I’m leaving now. Luce isn’t here yet. Come back so she’s not alone when she wakes up.”
A tear slid down Tamryn’s cheek, but she kept her eyes closed. Her nose began to tickle as it ran, but she fought against the urge to swipe at her face, not wanting to alert Jake to the fact she was awake. Her heart left her body as Jake walked out the door. He’d always have her heart, in its entirety, but she had to let him go. He was right; look what a mess she’d made of things, all in the name of loving Jake Johnson. They were no good for one another, and as much as that realization destroyed her soul, it was the truth.
“Don’t let her know I was here.” Jake was outside her room now, his voice getting softer the further he walked away from her.
Her eyes flew open as she fought a sob, bringing her hand to her mouth and pressing hard against her lips as more tears fell.
“Just trust me. She can’t know.” Pause. “Exactly, man. I can at least give her that.”
Tamryn’s pulse thundered in her ears as she wrestled the need to call Jake back into the room. He loved her, and she loved him, an
d, dammit, why wasn’t that enough? The beep from the monitor sped as her thoughts careened around in her brain, so she closed her eyes again and fought to breathe normally.
Minutes passed as, slowly, the chaos in her mind calmed, and her pulse returned to normal, the beeping slowing back to a rhythmic cadence.
The chair beside the bed creaked, and she opened her eyes.
Reed sat down, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. He searched her gaze. “You know.”
Tamryn shook her head.
“Lies.” Reed scooted the chair closer and took her hand. “You heard him leave.”
She bit her lip as tears pooled in her eyes, then nodded.
“Oh, Tamryn, I’m so sorry. He doesn’t know what else to do.” Reed squeezed her arm above the wrist. “It’s Jake,” he said with a shrug.
She’d managed to fall in love with the most emotionally ill-equipped man on earth, and simply loving him enough hadn’t been…enough.
“I just thought I could love him enough for both of us.”
Reed nodded. “I know.”
“What now?”
“Give it time.”
She snorted. “Haven’t I?”
Reed’s smile didn’t reach his eyes as he shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you.”
“I wrecked your truck.”
Reed chuckled. “Yeah, well, that thing was a heap anyway. Now I have an excuse to get the old Ford into the shop and get that baby running again.”
Tamryn’s eyes blurred with more tears. “I’m so sorry, Reed, I don’t know what I was thinking. I can’t believe I did that. I’ll pay for it.”
“No, Tamryn. I’m not mad, and I refuse to take your money. Colby would kill us both if he knew we allowed you to leave like that. And I’m the one who poured the damn drinks.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Maybe not entirely, but I helped. And I owe you better than that.”
Tamryn smiled, not sure what else to say. Fact was, Colby would have killed all three of them for this mess. He’d have been so disappointed in her.
Whiskey Burned (Flawed Heroes Book 2) Page 15
