No loose ends, no lost items, no reason to come back.
She might only be moving a few miles away, but in her mind, she’d already begun imagining what life would be like in New York with Luce. She’d spend the next six months planning her move, then say goodbye to this town and her mistakes forever.
Eventually her nerves would subside. Who wouldn’t be nervous about such a big move?
It was fear of the unknown, nothing more.
Or so she kept telling herself.
“Yo! You ready to go, Tammy?” Roc called from the truck.
“Yeah,” she shouted. “Be right out!”
She quickly surveyed the home once more on her way to the living room, then shut the door behind her and locked it, careful not to slip the key into her pocket like she usually would. No spare keys to Charlie’s house for her. Not anymore. He’d have to find a place to store a Hide-A-Key or find some other ex-girlfriend to hold it for him.
Roc climbed out of the passenger side so she could slide into the middle, then hopped in again behind her.
“Ready?” Charlie asked, starting the truck.
Tamryn nodded. “As I’ll ever be.”
Charlie frowned. “You know you don’t have to do this, right? I mean, you can stay with Roc and me for as long as you want—”
She placed her hand on his on the steering wheel. “I know, Charlie. Thank you. But it’s time. I have to do this, have to go be alone for a minute, you know? See what it’s like?”
Charlie shrugged and focused on the road as he pulled out of the dirt road leading to the Mills’ farm. “I know, Tamryn. I get it.”
“We’ll miss you cleaning up around here,” Roc said with a laugh.
“Jesus, Roc, no wonder she’s leaving.”
Roc slid his arm around Tamryn’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Shit, Tammy, you know I’m kidding. It’s the baking I’ll really miss. Kidding!”
Tamryn smiled, resting her head against Roc’s shoulders. “I know, I know. I’ll miss you guys too. It’s been nice kinda having the old gang back together like this.”
“You’re not kidding.” Charlie placed his hand on her thigh, leaving it there a bit too long, solidifying Tamryn’s need to break out on her own. Charlie still had feelings for her, feelings she’d never be able to reciprocate. Staying with him wasn’t fair to either of them.
She pulled her purse up onto her lap so he’d move his hand, then pretended to look for something. “Oh, shoot, I almost forgot.” She dangled the key in front of her. “You’ll need this back.”
“No, keep it. We might need it someday when dumbass over there locks himself out.”
“Hey,” Roc said. “Like I’m the dumbass who lost his truck keys for a whole week.”
Charlie laughed. “Whatever, man.” He glanced at Tamryn. “Keep it.”
“I can’t.” Tamryn pictured a quote she’d just seen on Instagram: No is a complete sentence. She didn’t need to offer up an explanation.
Charlie somehow seemed to understand the truth in her words. He extended his hand and she dropped the key into his palm. “Thank you, Charlie, for everything.”
He smiled sadly, his eyes still on the road as he drove toward the center of town. “Don’t mention it, Baker. I’ll always be around if you need me.”
Tamryn nodded, but hoped that wasn’t true. She wanted Charlie to find someone new, someone who could love him the way he deserved, and Lord knows his next girlfriend wouldn’t want him responding to Tamryn’s every beck and call. More importantly, though, Tamryn didn’t want to need help from him or anyone else in the future.
They pulled to a stop just out front of Syd’s coffee shop, the outdoor seating area nearly full with the afternoon rush of high schoolers.
“Yes,” Roc whispered, his eyes wide. “High school chicks.”
Tamryn elbowed him, but he jumped down from the truck and walked over to the patio.
“Right,” Charlie said on a laugh, “like he could get with any of those chicks.”
Tamryn laughed as she slid off the seat and stepped down from the truck.
“Charlie? Charlie Morris?”
Tamryn turned to the sound of the voice as a tall girl with long brown hair stepped past the gate to Syd’s patio and joined them on the sidewalk. She looked familiar, but Tamryn couldn’t put a name to the face.
“Elena?” Charlie nervously glanced at Tamryn, then back at the girl. “Hey, how are you?”
She stepped closer and wrapped him in a hug. “I’m so good! We just moved back!”
Tamryn narrowed her eyes, trying to remember who this girl was. He’d said Elena, but the name didn’t ring any bells.
Charlie stepped back awkwardly, then motioned toward Tamryn. “You remember my, uh, my ex, Tammy, I mean, Tamryn?”
“Hi.” Tamryn stepped forward and extended her hand. “Tamryn Baker.” She tilted her head. “Elena, was it? It’s nice to meet you.”
Elena gripped her hand, shaking vigorously, a smile pulling at her lips. “You don’t remember me. Of course you don’t.” She shook her head, laughing. “I was like, what, fourteen when you guys graduated? And definitely not on your radar.” She glanced shyly at Charlie, then back at Tamryn. “I used to live down the street from Charlie, that two story house with the giant Virgin Mary statue in the front yard.”
Tamryn’s eyes widened. “Oh my gosh, I totally remember you!” What she remembered was an awkward little girl with choppy bangs and braces, not this gorgeous woman standing in front of her. “What… how old are you now?” Tamryn looked her up and down, unable to hide the shock. “I mean, sorry, you just…you look a lot different.”
Elena blushed, then pushed her long hair back over one golden-brown shoulder. “Almost eighteen. I graduate in June.” She glanced quickly at Charlie, then back at Tamryn, smiling shyly.
“Well,” Tamryn said, glancing between Charlie and Elena, “welcome back.”
“Thanks. It’s good to be home.” Elena smiled at Charlie, holding his gaze.
Hmm. Maybe this was the girl Tamryn had hoped for, the one who would give Charlie the kind of relationship he deserved. Tamryn took a few steps backward slowly, then turned and headed for the back of the truck just as Reed approached.
“Who’s that?” he asked, nodding toward Charlie and Elena as he retrieved a couple boxes.
“That’s Elena. Sanchez, I think, but I can’t remember. She used to live by Charlie.”
Reed raised his eyebrow, his hazel eyes sparkling as he peered over Tamryn’s shoulder. “Oh yeah? Where’s she live now?”
“Ha, Reed, not a chance.”
“What, she’s out of my league?”
Tamryn laughed. “Not hardly. But she’s only seventeen.”
“Ah, jailbait. Damn.” Reed nudged Tamryn’s arm on his way past, then headed for the stairs behind the coffee shop that led to her new place.
She grabbed a bag of clothes and the vacuum, turning to follow Reed as her phone rang. She set everything back in the truck bed, and retrieved her cell from her purse. “Hello?”
“Hey there, little Baker sister.”
“Hey, Randy. How are you?”
“Fine as wine, fine as wine. So, hey, you got a minute?”
Tamryn leaned back against the truck. “Yeah, but I can’t be long, or Reed will unload all of these boxes himself.”
“Oh, shoot! Is that today?”
Tamryn rolled her eyes. “Sure is, Randy.”
“Ah heck, I’ll be over in twenty to help out. I’ll bring the booze.”
With a laugh, Tamryn said, “Cool. I’ll buy the pizza.”
“Sounds like you’ve got yourself a deal.” Randy cleared his throat, then paused long enough to make Tamryn cautious. “So, I’m planning a surprise party, for, um, Reed’s birthday.”
She exhaled a sigh. “Oh yeah?” Tamryn looked up at the apartment. Reed danced around in front of the large window that overlooked the main street. She shook her head, pressing the phone back to
her ear. “When?”
“Saturday, the fourteenth. ‘Round seven or so? Can you make it?”
“Sure. Where?”
Randy cleared his throat again.
Tamryn closed her eyes. Don’t say it, don’t say it.
“Jake’s place.”
Chapter
Thirty-Three
As Bert—the one taxi driver in town—inched his old minivan closer and closer to her destination, Tamryn’s stomach twisted in knots, her pulse racing. She couldn’t believe she was about to walk into a place so full of painful memories. Memories she’d fought hard to move away from during the past three months, and even more so in these past few days. Memories that still felt raw and exposed, urging her to focus on her big move.
Was she running from her problems? Probably. But Tamryn couldn’t focus on that when she was so busy actively ignoring the little voice inside her that begged her to reconsider.
This place was home, memories, mistakes, and all. Could she really walk away?
“Almost to Jake’s place,” Bert announced, as if Tamryn hadn’t grown up in this town and knew exactly where they were.
She sighed. Even if she didn’t know by the landscape, she could swear she felt each inch of distance between them slip away as she grew nearer to Jake.
Bert pulled up to the front of The Bar, and Tamryn’s stomach tightened further, the knot twisting past discomfort to the point of pain.
God, what was she doing here? This was another huge mistake in a long line of many.
Reed, she reminded herself. His birthday was the only thing that would bring her back to Jake’s bar, so she held tightly to that small fact. This was for Reed. She could suffer for an hour or two if it meant being a part of Reed’s birthday celebration. He’d always been there for her, always gone above and beyond. Showing up for his party was the least she could do to repay him for years of love and friendship. Hell, who knew when she’d be here for another one once she left for New York?
Bert looked back at her in the rearview, eyebrows raised. “All set?”
She’d been sitting idle too long. Tamryn bit her lip and stared out the window. Draped with drop cloths and tarps, the empty storefront beside The Bar resembled a construction site. Tamryn shook her head, dropping her gaze to her lap. He must’ve sold it or leased the space out to give her that check, selling her dream to give her freedom she hadn’t even taken. If her heart could break further, it would have with that realization. But there weren’t any pieces left big enough to break, even if Jake had moved on without her, he had sold her dream space without even knowing about her dreams.
She looked around the dirt lot, surprised to see that Bert’s van was the only vehicle parked there. Maybe she’d gotten the date wrong. Maybe she’d come too early. Maybe she’d been instructed to go in through the back and she’d forgotten. Would she ruin the surprise?
What had Randy said? The conversation was a blur in her mind, the only clear point—the only thing she’d thought about since the phone call—was the fact that she had to come back here. Back to the place where she’d loved and lost everything.
She shouldn’t be here. Her heart pounded harder in her chest, lungs tight. She had to leave. She couldn’t see Jake. It was still too soon, too raw. She hadn’t quite gotten over him, wondered if she ever would; seeing him would be too painful.
I can’t do this.
“What were you thinking?” She ran her hand over her face.
“You okay, Miss Baker?” Bert asked, turning around in his seat.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here. Please take me home. Quickly.” Tamryn wiped her sweaty palms on her black jeans.
“You sure?”
“Yes. Please, Bert.”
Bert frowned, but he shrugged and threw the car into reverse. “Whatever you say.”
The taxi van lurched to a halt, tossing Tamryn against the front seat since she’d unbuckled when they arrived. “Ow, what the…?”
Bert slapped the steering wheel and rolled down the window. “What the hell, Randy? I could have killed you, boy!”
Tamryn looked behind the cab. Randy grinned, shaking his head, then held up his finger and thumb, showing how close they’d come to hitting him. “Sorry ‘bout that, Bert. Couldn’t let ya leave with our girl here.”
Bert shook his head. “Miss Baker has changed her mind. Go on and step aside so we can get on our way.”
Randy met Tamryn’s gaze through the back window and shook his head. “Afraid I can’t do that.”
“Randy!” Tamryn handed Bert a twenty and opened the door. “I’m sorry about this, Bert. I’ll get a ride home from here.”
“I’m just a phone call away if you change your mind again.”
Tamryn nodded and stepped out of the cab. “Thank you.” She rounded on Randy as she slid the door closed. “Who does that?”
“What, runs people over?” He laughed. “Shit, kid, I was just about to ask ol’ Bert the same thing.” He leaned forward conspiratorially, bringing his thumb and forefinger to his mouth. “He been hittin’ the old Devil’s lettuce again?”
She shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest. “You could have been hurt.”
“You were trying to leave. Can’t have that.”
Tamryn narrowed her eyes. “Where is everyone?”
“They parked behind the bar,” he whispered. “Come on. Reed will be here any minute. We don’t want to ruin the surprise.”
She inhaled a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and fought back the urge to cry, the urge to run, and the urge to scream.
She could handle this. She could handle Jake.
Randy placed his hand on her back and led her to the door, then opened it and stepped aside. “Go on in, then.”
Tamryn side-eyed Randy, then peered inside the darkened bar. Her pulse sped as she scanned the blackness. What if Jake brought a date?
Oh God. Her stomach churned at the thought. She couldn’t do this.
“Go on. Ain’t no one gonna bite you.” Randy patted her back, nudging her forward.
She stepped inside, and the doors closed behind her, but she barely registered the sound as the room was suddenly aglow with muted amber light.
Her breath caught in her throat. Tiny, twinkling lights decorated the bar, strung up from one corner to the other, draping, then coming to a point above the dancefloor, the soft glow of white lights the only illumination in the room. Jake and Randy had really gone above and beyond for their friend, and Tamryn couldn’t help but be impressed.
She brought her hand to her mouth, searching the dimly lit room for the other party guests.
Jake stepped out from the shadows. “Surprise.”
Chapter
Thirty-Four
Tamryn gasped, turning toward the sound of his voice, heart plummeting to the floorboards. He’d ditched his usual t-shirt and worn-in denim or sweats, for black jeans and a dark gray button-up that did nothing to conceal the hard lines of his frame. Sleeves rolled up, his forearms exposed, she studied the familiar hands of this hard-working man she loved.
“You look…” Jake shook his head, then licked his lips, his gaze slowly caressing her from head to toe. “I’ve missed you.”
Her eyebrows bunched, words escaping her. Where was everyone else? Where was Reed?
The slow rhythm of Johnny Lee filled the room, the jukebox springing to life on its own. She glanced over at the machine on the wall, then back to Jake. She shouldn’t have come here.
Jake took a step forward.
She really shouldn’t have come here. Tamryn shook her head, heart thudding in her ears.
Another step forward.
God, she loved him.
His normally unruly hair was brushed and styled, and Tamryn’s fingers itched to mess it up, to grasp it and hold his head to hers, his lips to her mouth.
She met his gaze and sucked in a breath. She’d missed those blue eyes, the intensity they could hold, the unspoken words they whispered.
She swallowed hard, then ran her tongue over her teeth to clear the thickness from her mouth. “Where’s Reed?” She shook her head, confused. “What about his party?” Even as she asked the question, it felt wrong.
Jake grinned. “Silly girl. Reed’s birthday isn’t until June.”
Tamryn shook her head. Had she been so preoccupied that she’d completely forgotten Reed’s actual birthday? “I don’t understand. What if I’d remembered that?”
Shaking his head, Jake laughed. “I blame myself for not giving Randy explicit directions on how to get you to come here.” Johnny Lee sang on in the background, and Jake took another cautious step forward, his smile fading back into a more serious expression. “I’ve always loved this song. It’s not just because Johnny Lee is the finest singer this side of the nineteen-fifties”—he winked—“or that Bud’s my hero; it’s more than that. It’s the poetry of it. The ache of never finding love, never knowing its right there. If only I’d get out of my own way.”
He stopped, leaving a foot between them, and his cologne wrapped around her like a summer’s breeze, pulling her, lulling her into the warmth of him. She inhaled deeply, her heart fluttering in her chest, and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.
“This is our song. But you knew that.” Jake reached up, placing his fingers beneath her chin, his thumb resting just below her mouth. He gently pulled her lip free of her teeth, then ran his thumb over her lip. “You were never singing for them, you were singing for me.”
Tamryn swallowed hard. “With you.”
“And it’s not because we sang this song together more times than I can count.” He shook his head, smiling sadly. “I’m that guy in the song. I’m the idiot who was always looking for love in all the wrong places.”
A tear slid from her eye. Tamryn licked her lips and his eyes fell to her mouth, causing her stomach to tighten.
He met her gaze once more. “But it was right here all along, wasn’t it?”
Whiskey Burned (Flawed Heroes Book 2) Page 18
