by Karen Aldous
When Lizzie returned to the table, she felt a pang of warmth as Caroline was opening up what looked like a rusty, old, rectangular biscuit tin. She was grateful to be so much closer to her mother now as she watched her pick up her glasses and, resting them on the bridge of her nose, begin picking out envelopes with folded sepia and greying papers along with an array of tiny booklets and more old photographs, really old ones.
‘Ooh, what’s all this?’ Lizzie said inhaling the musty smell from the box and taking a gulp of cold tea. ‘Urgh.’
Caroline squinted as she began spreading them out on the table and one by one carefully removed and unfolded her grandparents’ birth certificates. She created a neat pile and opened another envelope. Her eyebrows lifted.
‘My Aunt Emily’s birth certificate and, marriage, oh, and death. So, that means she was sixteen and only married about six months when she was killed. Then,’ she flipped over another certificate, ‘Richard, or Dickie, we used to call him, died about two years later in Burma.’
She handed them to Lizzie who read out the husband’s name. ‘Richard Rolf. Oh, how tragic. I imagine that was really difficult for your Granny Stark.’
Caroline blew out a sigh and opened another piece of paper. ‘God yes, awful, and her mother. Having one daughter dead and the other sent away. Granny, being nine years younger, had been evacuated and didn’t find out about her elder sister until she returned to London. How quickly families were destroyed.’
‘Gosh, how lucky we are not to have such brutal wars now. It must be so tough for soldiers’ families. It certainly makes me appreciate what we have, and to treasure it. Have you not seen all these before?’ Lizzie asked peering at her mother. Caroline’s mouth hung open and then Lizzie sensed panic as her jaw dropped.
‘What’s, who?’ Caroline’s eyes raced over the small document again. ‘Annie Emily Rolf…1940. Mother, Annie, father Richard…a baby girl.’ She glared up as if searching the wall for clues. A deep frown crossed her forehead. ‘I didn’t know about…I had no idea she’d had a baby. She was obviously born but…?’ Caroline’s face turned pale as she twisted her head around to Lizzie. ‘Unless…maybe she was killed at the same time as Aunt Emily.’
‘Whoa, and no one told your mum, or, she never told you. Oh Mum. Your grandparents probably thought it bad enough to tell your mum about her sister. Or perhaps she didn’t know.’ Lizzie slipped her hand into her mother’s.
‘I don’t ever recall her telling me she had a cousin by the name of Annie. She must have been killed with Emily. Oh, darling, isn’t that so tragic? All three of them.’
‘Horrific. It must have been a living nightmare during the war. Particularly as they lived in London,’ Lizzie added. Then suggested, ‘I wonder if there are any photos of the baby? Presumably you’ve never looked in here before?’
Caroline sat upright rubbing the back of her neck and then, shaking her head, said, ‘Briefly. It was soon after your gran died, I assumed it was just…’
‘Mummy, wee wee.’ Thierry’s voice called from the living room.
Lizzie jumped up from her chair and raced to collect him. ‘Good boy, come with Mummy.’
Taking his hand and leading him to the cloakroom, the thought occurred to her that Annie may have lived and none of the family knew. Would it have been possible, the child was never identified? Maybe they could identify Aunt Emily’s grave and see if a child was buried nearby.
When she returned to her mother, she made the suggestion. Caroline was sifting through more envelopes. She stretched out her arms to Thierry.
‘Eeew darling, it sounds awfully morbid doesn’t it?’ she said lifting up her grandson, kissing his soft peachy cheek and sitting him on her lap.
‘Mmm, but it would be a start. That is, if you would want to find out.’
Caroline pushed her glasses to the top of her head and brushed her lips against Thierry’s hair, giving Lizzie a thoughtful stare.
Lizzie peered at her, helpless. Was this all too much now her mother was settling down after her illness and with a new love? And, of course having discovered her grandson just ten months ago. Maybe she just wanted to enjoy what she had?
‘Have a think about it,’ she said and then headed to the worktop to refill the kettle. There was always that instinctive cup of tea to brew when a crisis manifested itself and, Lizzie did feel this was a crisis. Her mother was clearly shaken by the discovery. Gathering clean cups, Lizzie watched as Caroline looked down to a pile on the table. With Thierry leaning into her, she pulled out some small cards with one hand and flicked them open again. A ray of light suddenly fizzed as she glanced at Lizzie.
‘It may not be too difficult. There’s a grave reference on Emily’s memorial card.’
‘Really? That’s helpful. It’s up to you. It could provide some answers.’
‘Sweetheart, you’re only here a few days. It’s a lot of trouble. You’ll need to get back and Cal…’
‘We can go tomorrow. I’ll drive,’ Lizzie cut in as she poured steaming water into clean mugs. ‘If we leave about nine, most of the traffic would have cleared.’
Lizzie squinted as she surveyed her mother’s face. This really was a shock and, Lizzie suspected, the child must have been killed with her great-aunt. With any luck they could at least discover one way or another. She left her mother contemplating and told her she had some calls to make to the salon if she didn’t mind watching Thierry. She also wanted to ring Cal. She had texted him as soon as they’d landed but it would be nice to hear his voice.
She climbed the stairs to her room heaving heavy bags with her. She then purred as she entered her room. Freshly painted with cream walls and a new light pink and cream duvet, there was a much brighter feel to the room. She peered out the window and across to the vineyard. Cal’s old vineyard in which he’d laboured from scratch. Her face unfurled a smile at the sight of Michael spraying the vines in Cal’s tractor. It was so warming to think Michael had embraced the role of viticulturer so seamlessly. No doubt he stayed in touch with Cal and Cal’s consultant, but he appeared to know what he was doing. Mind you, she thought, if he could master old SLR cameras and all the lighting equipment and meters, she was sure he was up for anything.
Holding her phone to her ear whilst unzipping her bag, threads of warmth rushed through her as Cal’s voice bounced down the phone. His presence felt so close, yet, unable to touch him, so far. She could only pluck comfort from his whispers of love. It was whilst they discussed Jack and bringing him back to Cannes that a familiar shudder jarred inside her. She could hear Kelly in the background. Lizzie quickly glanced at the time on her phone. It was only just nine over there.
‘Good God, is she staying there now?’
‘No, just arrived.’ Cal answered.
Throwing back her shoulders, Lizzie paced the room for several seconds then, leaning on the window sill, she gave a hard swallow. This was not the time to start reacting, she told herself. Gathering her thoughts, she described her view to Cal as she peered out of her bedroom window.
‘You’re cruel,’ he said, ‘I’ve such fond memories of you there. And the vines!’
‘Well, you’ll be pleased to hear they’re being well tended,’ Lizzie told him, pleased with herself she’d managed to distract her mind. Was she really finding Kelly such a threat? ‘Anyway, it’s lovely to hear your voice. I had better get on. I’ve got a business to run too.’
As hard as it was, she said her goodbyes sinking miserably into a nearby chair. She’d never imagined this being so hard. Her heart had never ached like this before. Her next call was to Sophie who had just finished a client so was able to let the nurse take over whilst she stepped out. Sophie reported a steady flow on the clinic side with more bookings coming in for the next couple of months, and confirmed her travel arrangements to America. Lizzie was so pleased she’d persuaded Charles to go with her. They could spend some time relaxing for a few days too.
It was thirty-five minutes later when she came down.
She’d also rung Josephine quickly who was managing admirably as usual and reported the salon was doing fine and bookings for May were spiralling too. What would she do without her? Her thoughts rushed back to Cal and Kelly. Kelly had every right to be in her own house with her own son, Lizzie reasoned. Was it her own insecurities or did she instinctively distrust Kelly and her being around Cal, or the other way around?
Thierry was now grappling with spaghetti and fish fingers at the table in the kitchen. Caroline was chopping tomatoes and placing them lovingly on a delicious-looking salad.
‘Everything OK?’ Caroline asked.
‘Yes, all fine,’ Lizzie replied rubbing her hand across her chest, ‘all good.’
Chapter 11
Cal detected tension in Lizzie’s voice. The sooner he could work out how to deal with Jack, the better. He didn’t like Kelly hanging around any more than he suspected Lizzie did. When he’d returned from the airport yesterday, however, he did get some time alone with Jack. Kelly and Reuben had agreed they could continue at the house until the Easter break which suited him fine and Jack was more than happy when he’d asked him back to Cannes. Cal now had to think about getting Jack back to school after the holiday. Inevitably he would want to bring him back but how could he get him to return to school? And how was he ever going to leave him if he did go back? For some reason, Jack wasn’t happy at home. Maybe, he thought, he should try to dig down a bit deeper there. Possibly there was something going on he didn’t know about.
When Jack went into the living room with his tutor, Cal seized his moment. Kelly had just come down from making the beds and, he guessed, cleaning the bathrooms. She was stripping off rubber gloves.
‘I thought you had cleaners for all that sort of thing?’
Kelly glanced his way and untied her hair. ‘Yes but they only come in at the end of a stay. More often on a two-week stay. Anyway, I like to do it daily whilst you’re here.’
‘Sit down, I’ll make a coffee,’ Cal instructed as he collected some cups and took them to the coffee machine. He picked up a small plastic pod. ‘Skinny cappuccino is it?’
‘Yes, do you want me to show…’
‘No. I know what I’m doing. I think.’ He pressed the machine on.
‘I’m just curious about something. I wondered how things were with Jack and Rueben.’
Kelly’s face almost growled. ‘Why?’
‘It’s a simple question.’
‘But why do you want to know?’ She frowned, yanking out a chair.
‘I’m his father. I wondered. That’s all.’ He carried the cups across to the table leaned on a chair facing her.
Kelly hunched her shoulders swivelling her neck as she leaned on the table. He heard the bones grind as she looked up to him. Her eyes lowered and her bright façade dropped.
‘Cal, you’re the last person I would want to admit anything to,’ she sighed, ‘but,’ she leant forward, ‘I can’t keep the pretence up much longer I suppose. Oh, God.’ She thrust her head into her hands. ‘It’s not really Jack and Reuben as much as me and Reuben.’ She peered up at him. ‘Our relationship is shot. Reuben’s hardly ever here and, well, when he is, we, well, we can barely be in the same room as one another. Honestly, he comes back and he complains about this and that, and the kids, I just can’t seem to do anything right. We just don’t have a marriage any more. He’s had business pressures and, and…’ her lip quivered, ‘we just don’t have anything left.’ Her arms shot in the air as she waved trying to hold back the sobs.
Cal placed his cup on the table and looked around for some tissues. Spotting a pack at the end of the worktop, he reached over and before he’d turned, Kelly had dashed out.
‘Kelly, don’t run.’ She continued up the stairs. As he rushed behind her, she slammed the bedroom door behind her. ‘Jesus, talk to me, don’t hide away,’ he said starting to pace the landing.
Hearing her sobbing inside, he continued to saunter up and down then tapped softly on the door. Her crying had stopped but there was still no response. He lingered a little longer then headed off back down to the kitchen. Hopefully, she would calm herself down. There was little point in pushing her. He was curious though how this was affecting his son and needed to find out more. It had obviously disturbed Jack enough for him not to want to stay at home.
Kelly returned ten minutes later, the rims of her eyes still red, her skin puffy.
‘Well, now you know,’ she said sitting back down at the table where Cal had now placed his laptop. ‘Sorry, that’s the first time I’ve told anyone. But if you’re wondering how this affects Jack, I can’t see that it has. I mean, Reuben and I do have our arguments but not when the children are around.’
‘So does Rueben come back every weekend?’
‘More like every other nowadays. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s made another life for himself in New York. He’s pretty much detached and,’ her eyes settled on her fidgety hands, ‘I suspect he may have someone else.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Well, oh, this is so embarrassing. He doesn’t want me any more and, to be honest, I manage quite well without him. I’ve got used to it. And he is so much tighter with money. He’s always given me free rein with the credit cards, now he limits it. Doesn’t that say something to you?’
‘Financially, only that money might be tight. I’m not placed to get involved in your relationship and I won’t, but if it’s a strain and affecting those around you, you and he need to address it, not mask it in the hope it will sort itself out.’
As Kelly revealed more about her concerns and worries, Cal tried to read between the lines. He was well aware there were going to be two sides to this new drama but all he needed to unfold was how it was impacting on his son. He then had a real urge to escape.
When Jack emerged from his studies, Cal quickly struck before Kelly.
‘Howdy, partner. Fancy a bit of fishing this afternoon?’
‘Whoa, you bet. Great, Dad.’
‘Good. I thought we’d try Dionis Beach for a bit of beach casting. I know it’s not season yet, but if we’re patient…’
Before Cal had finished, Jack was out to find his boots. ‘The gear’s below deck, I’ll get my boots.’
With hands on hips, Kelly’s jaw hung speechless. Cal was now well acquainted with her controlling ways and felt a little smug. Maybe he should have warned her first though. She’d had a tough morning, emotionally.
‘Well, I’d better pack up some lunch and get ready then,’ she said finally as Cal jumped away from the laptop.
‘No offence, Mom, but this is for boys,’ Jack said diving back into the cupboard in the entrance hall. ‘I’ll get you a pair of boots, Dad.’
A squirm gurgled inside Cal as he glanced at Kelly. Her face read like a billboard.
‘Perhaps a bit of “man” time will do him good,’ he said raising his eyebrows. And, to his surprise, Kelly forced a smile and nodded in agreement.
So Cal and Jack set off armed with a lunch Kelly lovingly prepared, fishing tackle, some so-called bait and two tightly-folded chairs. Cal drove the short distance to the other side of the island. As it was still early spring, the Dionis Beach was bare of bathing bodies but contained some strolling dog-walkers. Like most beaches on the island, the soft sand slid gently down from the dunes.
After some time setting up and focusing on the fishing, Cal looked over at Jack. He appeared more relaxed, sunk comfortably in the chair and being mesmerised by the waves.
‘I expect you’ve done this quite a bit with Reuben?’ he said.
‘Once.’ Jack didn’t look up.
‘Who do you usually fish with then?’
‘The guys. We came here last summer a couple of times.’
‘What else do you do with Reuben then?’
‘Zero.’
Cal was beginning to feel like he was pulling teeth. ‘Don’t you bowl or go to games, superbowl?’
‘Zilch. Mom and Pops are only at their best whe
n you come over. Mom spends most of the time with little Bea, she takes Harry to clubs like she used to me. That’s it really.’
‘Oh.’ Cal sensed a bitterness in Jack’s voice.
‘Yeah, I get to do more each time you come. And this week with you, more than we’ve ever done as the “Rosenbeck” family.’
Cal sensed he was beginning to hit a nerve. ‘Do you get on with Reuben?’
‘Hate him and I hate Mom for pretending.’
‘What do you mean, pretending?’
‘Dad, she just does. Mom is so fake. I don’t like her games of happy family. It’s not a fucking happy family.’ Jack grabbed his head with both hands. ‘I don’t even know why Pops bothers coming home at all. To annoy us, I reckon. Lame, I know. That’s just how it is though.’
‘So why haven’t you told me before?’ Cal stretched a leg over his other knee.
‘I didn’t see it, I guess. I go out to be out of the way.’ He swung his head round to Cal, dropping his arms. ‘It’s one big point-scoring game to them. I think they think I’m ten years old still. Man, they’re pathetic. I hate it. Besides, I don’t think Pops wants to be here.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know. He doesn’t ever talk, he never wants to do anything with me anyway. He comes home, he argues with everyone, he goes on his phone out back, watches TV and then he goes. Period. I don’t know why he bothers.’
‘And your mom?’
Jack’s focus moved back to the sea and he kicked the sand before shaking his head. ‘Swear you won’t say a word?’ he said peering back at Cal.
Cal drew a cross on his chest. Jack grinned. ‘Honestly, she is scary. When Pops is around she gets hysterical. When he’s not, everything’s my fault. She doesn’t care about us. That woman who comes up and says sweet awesome words – it’s not real! She’s a sheep in wolf’s clothing or whatever that saying is.’
