As her eyes traveled slowly around the familiar room, she saw the small scroll on the ledge. What would she do if Athaliah awoke and also saw the scroll? Her small, bright eyes missed nothing, even in her madness. As Marah started to rise to get the scroll, she heard Athaliah’s voice.
“Good. You are awake early. We have much to do today, Daughter. My son returns soon and there are preparations to be made.”
Marah sighed inwardly. Athaliah was herself this morning, or so it appeared. It was going to be a difficult day. How long could she pretend she did not know about Shimei? When a reasonable time had passed, she knew the shammash would return. She could not lie to the shammash, for she knew he would know. He would see the fear on her face. How could she hide it? She did not look up at the scroll for fear Athaliah would follow her eyes and see it too.
As the day progressed Marah could not help glancing from time to time toward the entrance to the courtyard. She did not realize how many times until Athaliah patted her on the shoulder.
“You are anxious for my son’s return also, Daughter. That is a good sign. All will be well, you will see.” Athaliah nodded her head, smiling to herself.
Athaliah began to tick off on her fingers the various things they would need. “Shimei can bring more wine. He always knows what to get. We will need to prepare the raisin and date cakes. Now where is Shimei? He is never here when I need him. There is so much to do. Ah . . . it will be a feast to remember.”
Marah felt the hair on the nape of her neck rise. She looked at Athaliah closely. Where were Athaliah’s thoughts now? She nodded dumbly as she went on sweeping the courtyard. How could she let Athaliah do all those things in preparation? It would only make things worse when word of Shimei’s desertion was known. If the shammash came again, he might reveal that Shimei had gone. It was said that the high priest had spies everywhere.
Over and over she turned the thoughts in her mind as one would turn over shells along the shore of the sea, examining each one carefully and discarding it. She felt the scroll was safe. It was still on the ledge and Athaliah had not seen it. When her mother-in-law was busy letting the animals out, Marah had pushed the small scroll back farther on the shelf so it was concealed by the shadows.
While she worked, Marah sought for some way to gently tell Athaliah what Shimei had done. There is no gentle way to tell her, Marah reasoned, no matter how I say it. What kind of a reaction would Athaliah have? Would it push her over into the world of madness forever? She must do as she had promised Shimei, but there was no way to make it easy. Oh Yahweh, God Who Sees Me, she prayed silently, help me.
Athaliah watched her move about the small house, setting out bread and fruit for their morning meal. Marah poured goat’s milk from the stone jar that was kept in the corner of the house where it was hidden from the heat of the day. Athaliah was silent, waiting.
“You did not sleep well, Daughter?” she finally inquired.
“No, Mother-in-law,” Marah confessed slowly, “there were many things on my mind.”
“What things? Have you had word from Shimei on his return?” The enemy attacked head-on. Today Athaliah seemed in her right mind and was inquiring about Shimei! There was no way out left for Marah.
“Yes, Mother-in-law, I . . . have heard from Shimei. It is not ... good news.” She took a deep breath. “He has gone.”
“Of course he has gone, child. He shall return soon and you will be married.” Athaliah patted her hand.
“He . . . he has gone . . . forever.” Marah held her breath, watching Athaliah’s face.
“Gone forever?” Athaliah clutched at her arm, a puzzled look on her face. “He is not dead?”
“No. He is not dead. He has sold the sandal shop to a man in the next village.”
“Sold the sandal shop? But why? He will need a trade. It was good enough for my husband and his brother. Why is it not good enough for Shimei?” Athaliah stamped her foot in consternation.
“Because he has gone away.” This was going to be difficult. Did Athaliah understand? “The man who bought the sandal shop is coming here to live with his family.”
“Here to this house?”
“No, here to the village.”
“I do not understand. Why would Shimei do this?” Athaliah began to wring her hands. “Where is Shimei? Where is he?”
“He has gone. He will not be coming back. There will be no marriage. He . . . he had to go away . . . forever.”
The old woman’s face crumbled and her whole body sagged. Marah reached out and put her hand gently on Athaliah’s arm. “I am sorry. I did not know until last night. He could not marry me.”
An anguished cry wrenched itself from Athaliah’s being, and she fell to her knees, rocking back and forth, keening, “The shame of it, how could he do this?” over and over.
Marah tried to quiet her cries and, dropping to her knees, put her arms around her mother-in-law.
Suddenly Athaliah stopped her moaning and her voice was low and heavy with anguish. “Always he has mocked the law. Because he was my son, I sought to protect him.” Athaliah’s eyes became bright pools in her wrinkled face. “Now he must answer to God. I can protect him no longer.” She began to weep softly, letting the tears fall on her hands. Then she looked up, and Marah saw again the face of a stranger and shuddered.
Athaliah’s eyes narrowed and her tone of voice took on the strange crooning of her madness. “We will find a kinsman, Daughter. We will find a husband for you and I shall have my grandchild. Zibeon might return any day now. He would not run away as Shimei has done. He will return soon.”
Seeing that Athaliah was past reason at the moment, Marah nodded silently in her agony. What was she to do now? Lahai Roi . . . God Who Sees Me, show me what to do.
Just then Marah heard young Dibri calling her from the courtyard. He had come to gather their few sheep to take to the shepherd. Quickly she opened the lower door of the house and let the sheep move out. She thought of the boy’s soft voice calling the sheep and their trust in him as they followed him out of the courtyard. Her father’s words, “Does the God of the whole earth not know His way?” came back to her mind. Once again she was comforted. God knew her way. Her life was in His hands. She turned back to Athaliah who sat motionless, staring vacantly ahead of her. From time to time a tear slipped down her wrinkled cheeks. The depth of Athaliah’s pain nearly broke Marah’s heart. There was no way Marah could shield her from the loss and the shame of what Shimei had done. There would be no grandchild now and both of her sons were gone, one through death, and the other by desertion.
Her own pain was mingled with fear as she thought of the events of the past days and sought for answers. She watched the gateway, expecting the shammash and the elders to return at any moment. Did they also know about the bill of divorcement? If they came, would she have to leave? Shimei had said to go to her friend. How she longed to talk with Hannah! Just then a neighbor’s child passed the gate. On impulse, Marah ran to catch him.
“Do you know the house of Hannah and Simon?” she whispered.
The boy nodded warily, his eyes on Athaliah who had begun to rock back and forth moaning softly.
“Tell Hannah that her friend needs her and to come quickly.”
“Is she ill?” the boy inquired cautiously, looking again at Athaliah.
“Yes, she is ill.” Marah nodded quickly, relieved she didn’t have to explain more. She took the boy’s arm. “Will you go? I cannot leave her as you can see.”
The boy smiled and nodded. With the energy of small children, he took off at a dead run.
Marah turned back to Athaliah. She put her arms around the old woman and laid her cheek against the leathery skin, wet with tears. “Come and rest, Mother-in-law. Come inside and rest and you will feel better.”
Athaliah did not answer but allowed herself to be led slowly into the house to her pallet. Marah spoke softly, gently, as to a child as she covered Athaliah. Stroking the wrinkled forehead, she waited with the
older woman until at last she slept. Marah walked slowly, wearily, to the doorway and her heart lifted as she saw Hannah hurry into the courtyard with her basket of healing herbs.
“Hannah, I am so glad you have come.”
“Athaliah is ill, child?” Hannah hurried toward her and then stopped suddenly, looking at Marah’s face. “There is more?”
“Oh Hannah,” Marah cried, and couldn’t speak. She was gathered into the comfort of Hannah’s arms and the two women stood for a long moment in the center of the courtyard.
“I don’t know where to start . . . ,” Marah began.
“It is always best to start at the beginning.” Hannah nodded encouragingly.
They found a place of shade, and as it was nearing the time of afternoon rest, the village became quiet as shopkeepers closed their shops for the noon meal and returned to their homes. Composing herself, Marah began with the confrontation between Shimei and Athaliah at the evening meal and told her friend all that had happened up until Shimei had given her the scroll and disappeared into the night.
“Has the shammash come back with the elders?”
“No, but I expect him any moment. What shall I say to him? What shall I do?”
“You must not add a lie to the deception that has already taken place, child. Tell him of the bill of divorcement. It will free you. I do not believe he will object to your caring for Athaliah until the kinswoman arrives. He has already seen that she is not herself and cannot be left alone.”
“But what about Shimei?”
“That is not for you to trouble yourself over, Marah. He is in the hands of God and you can do nothing more for him. You do not need to tell an untruth, yet I would not recommend that you tell the shammash all.” Hannah gave Marah a knowing look.
Marah sighed. It was as if a large burden had been lifted from her shoulders. “Yes, I see that you are right, as usual.” She gave Hannah a wan smile.
Hannah patted her arm. “And when the kinswoman comes, you must come to Simon and me. Shimei came to us and we talked. He is indeed a strange man, but he wanted us to know about the bill of divorcement. Even if he had not suggested it first, we would have had you come to us as soon as we knew your circumstances.”
“Oh Hannah, I don’t want to be a burden on you and Simon.”
Hannah drew herself up. “Did you think we are poor friends who cannot help someone we love in her time of need? What must you think of us?”
Marah lowered her eyes in embarrassment. “You are two very dear, kind friends. What would I do without you?” Then she looked earnestly up at her friend. “Oh Hannah, I feel so lost. First I am a widow and now I am a divorced woman. The house and all are Athaliah’s and then a kinsman’s after she is gone.”
“It is well that it is so, Marah. This house and strange family are not for you. You must have a new life. Shimei knew. He wanted you to be free. Whatever he is in his life, he showed you kindness. He took a chance returning to the village. There. You see? It is settled. When you are relieved of Athaliah’s care, you come to us.” Hannah raised her eyebrows in question.
Marah smiled. She had someplace to go when Athaliah’s relatives came. She would be with friends. She looked at Hannah and nodded.
“I must return home.” She reached into her basket and handed Marah a small pouch of herbs. “This will help Athaliah sleep, if you need her to.” She looked meaningfully at Marah. “If you need us for anything, send for us. Such a day. You will be all right, child. Peace be with you.”
“And with you, Hannah. And . . . thank you.” The two women embraced.
“Ach, it is nothing.” With a wave of her hand, Hannah hurried home.
The bag of coins! Marah moved quickly into the house to check on Athaliah. To her relief, her mother-in-law still lay on her pallet. Her eyes were closed but her lids moved and Marah knew she was awake. Marah heated some water and ground the herbs into a powder with a small stone. She put the powder in a cup and poured the hot water over the herbs to let it steep, keeping a wary eye on Athaliah.
“Mother?” she ventured cautiously, kneeling down beside the old woman.
Athaliah turned her face toward Marah and opened her eyes slowly, trying to focus on Marah’s face. There was no sign of recognition.
“Wh-who are you?”
“I am Marah, your daughter-in-law, wife of your son Zibeon.”
“Zibeon?” Athaliah pondered the word. “Yes, Zibeon, a fine boy, big and lusty. His father will be proud.”
Then she tried to rise. “Where is my son? I do not hear his cries. Have you hid him from me? He will be hungry.” She clutched at Marah’s arm. “What have you done with my son?”
Terrified, Marah looked into the twisted face of her mother-in-law, and felt like she was looking into the demented recesses of a soul.
“Zibeon is, ah, with his father. They will be back soon. You must rest. You must save your strength.” Marah prayed silently with all her being. She took the cup, and lifting Athaliah’s head, she gave her a few sips of the liquid.
Athaliah drank and sank back on her pallet. “Yes, I must rest so I can care for my son.” She peered at Marah. “You are the midwife then?”
“I am just here to help you,” Marah said softly.
Athaliah nodded and closed her eyes.
14
The days passed slowly as Marah cared for Athaliah who now lived in the shadows of the past. She was the young bride and talked to Marah as she would to her husband. Sometimes she was the young mother and longed for Marah to bring her son for her to nurse. She slept a great deal, and when one of the neighboring women came in to stay with Athaliah, Marah went for food and water. Marah used the coins sparingly from the small pouch. She did not know how long they would have to last. Hannah came when she could. Today they sat quietly in the fading warmth of the afternoon.
“Is there word from the kinswoman?”
“No, but she should be here soon. It has been weeks since Shimei left and told me he sent her word. I didn’t think to ask him where they were traveling from.”
Hannah patted her arm. “Who could think of everything?”
Marah looked wistfully across the courtyard, thinking back. The shammash had returned as she feared. But he had come by himself.
“I came to see the mother of Zibeon.” The words were kindly said. Marah obediently led him to see Athaliah. His sharp eyes took in the clean house and noted that Athaliah was well cared for. He also noted her frail body and hands that were bones barely covered with flesh. Athaliah did not awaken. The shammash nodded his head and stroked his chin thoughtfully and then stepped back out into the courtyard.
“The kinswoman has not arrived.” It was more a statement than a question, and Marah shook her head. It seemed that he did know everything. He paused as if waiting for something. Marah thought of the scroll.
“My lord, there is something I must show you.” She hastily entered the house and took the small scroll down from the ledge. Her heart pounded. She took a deep breath and returned to the shammash, handing him the scroll.
His dark eyes studied her face and the slight nod of his chin told her she had been right not to try to conceal the scroll. He knew. Every sound seemed louder than usual, and Marah waited again, feeling the depth of her weariness. Perspiration ran down her back.
“I have only the word of Shimei for what it contains, my lord. Please advise your servant of what to do.” She looked humbly at the ground.
The shammash opened the scroll and studied its contents for a few moments. “You know that you are free to leave this house?”
“Yes, my lord, but I could not leave my mother-in-law. Not until her kinswoman comes to care for her. If it is permitted . . . I . . . I would like to stay.”
“You are a good daughter. It is permitted. You must stay until the kinswoman comes.” His face became stern. “None of the land or house shall be yours. You may not marry a kinsman of this family. You will leave the house of Zibeon with only your dowry return
ed to you. Do you understand?”
Marah nodded. She could not speak.
His tone softened. “Do you have a place to go? It has come to my attention that you have no other family . . . ?”
Encouraged, Marah looked up at him. “Yes, my lord, I will go to the house of Simon and Hannah.”
He studied her a long moment and then handed her the scroll. “Keep this with you. It is sufficient that I have seen it.” For a moment he appeared to want to say something else but apparently thought better of it. Turning suddenly, he strode purposefully out of the courtyard.
Marah stared after him. She had forgotten the dowry. Of course, she was entitled to take back her dowry. Her mother’s candlesticks, and four of the sheep, the goat, some of the chickens, and the wedding coins that had been placed in an alcove in the wall. They were hers! She would not come to Hannah and Simon with empty hands. With a sigh of thankfulness, she wrapped her arms around herself and looked up into the blue sky. God truly had seen her need.
That afternoon Hannah came again, bringing some fresh cheese. They sat in the courtyard, and Marah drew the shawl closer around her shoulders. There was a chill in the air.
“The air grows cold. Do you think there is a storm coming, Hannah?”
“The rains of the month of Tevet begin soon. I do not think that Dibri will take the sheep out tomorrow. You will need to look to your animals. They will be restless.”
Marah nodded thoughtfully. She was weary. Athaliah could wake at any time of the day or night and need her, and she slept fitfully, listening to the old woman moaning in her sleep.
“The day comes to a close. I must return home. You are all right?”
“Yes, Hannah, I will be all right. I will make sure the animals are in their pens early tonight.”
Hannah rose to go, wrapping her own shawl tighter around her as the wind began to come up suddenly. She shuddered. “This is not to be a good night. I feel it in my bones. Keep your door bolted.” Then she turned back and looked closely at Marah. “You are weary, child. Do you wish me to stay with you? Simon will not mind.”
Journey to the Well: A Novel Page 9
