She burst out laughing. ‘What a spoofer you are! All right then, swottie, go home to your precious books. I love you. ’Night.’
‘I love you too, talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well.’ He gave her a bear hug and she waved him off regretfully. She loved sleeping with Mike, loved waking up in his arms, and especially loved their drowsy, contented intimacy. She closed the door behind her and gave a start when Katie, her cousin, popped her head out of her bedroom and dramatically put her finger to her lips.
‘Drama Queen is here!’ she whispered dramatically, pointing to the sitting-room.
‘Carol! What’s she doing here?’
‘The Usual! Row with Gary. Romance all off! Suicide imminent! Good luck.’ Katie threw her eyes up to heaven.
‘Oh no!’ Jessica groaned. Not tonight. She wasn’t in the humour for high drama. She was knackered. All she wanted to do was go to bed. Frustration welled up. Why couldn’t Carol deal with her rows herself? It was always the same. Every time she had a row with Gary . . . and that was every bloody second day . . . Jessica had to bear the brunt of it and she was heartily sick of it. This was the last time, definitely! She was going to tell her friend once and for all that she’d had enough. Carol could cop on to herself and get real. Jessica took a deep breath and marched into the sitting-room, determination written all over her face.
Carol was curled up on the sofa fast asleep, the magazine she’d been reading slipping through her fingers. Jessica came to a full stop. ‘Drat,’ she muttered crossly, switching off the TV and putting the magazine on to the table. She stood staring down at the other girl and her heart softened in spite of herself. Poor old Carol, she looked so miserable even in sleep, a frown creasing her brow, her fingers curled tense and tight across her chest.
Jessica sighed as she went off in search of a quilt. Carol and Gary had such a tempestuous relationship. There was no peace for them, no harmony. They lurched along from drama to drama, she being needy, Gary withholding. How could it be worth it? It would drive her berserk, Jessica reflected as she removed the spare quilt from the bottom of the wardrobe. When she’d heard of their engagement she’d been more than a little shocked. She knew that Carol felt much more strongly about Gary than he did about her. She knew how much it bothered her friend and often wondered how she could endure a relationship that seemed so unequal.
‘Let them at it and don’t interfere,’ Mike cautioned when she’d bring up the subject. But it was difficult to restrain herself sometimes, especially when Carol would pour out her fears and uncertainties about her relationship.
‘Do you think he loves me?’ she’d ask. ‘What do you think he sees in me? I love him, I really, really love him. I wish he loved me as much as I love him. Do you think he loves me but just can’t say it?’
If Jessica had got a euro for every time she was asked those questions she would have been a millionairess. It got extremely wearing after a while, but worst of all was when Carol would say accusingly, ‘You’re so lucky, Jessica, Mike is crazy about you,’ almost as though she begrudged Jessica her happiness and wanted her to feel guilty about being loved and happy.
Sometimes she felt like telling Carol to stop annoying her and stop trying to spoil things, but the other girl had a way of making her feel sorry for her and she’d back off and keep her irritation bottled up. Now, when she’d finally decided to have it out with her friend, Carol was flakers on the sofa, denying Jessica her chance. She yawned. Perhaps it was just as well; she was too tired for friction and besides, in her heart of hearts she had to admit that she wasn’t the best at confrontation, her tendency being to pacify and smooth over troubled waters. She wished she could be more like Katie, who had no trouble at all saying what she felt, and tough if anybody’s sensitivities were hurt.
Gently, as quietly as she could, for now she truly did not want to endure one of Carol’s marathon ear-bashing sessions, she laid the soft quilt over her friend, switched off the lamp and slipped out of the sitting-room to the haven of her own bedroom. All she wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep her brains out. It was a stroke of luck that Carol had fallen asleep on the sofa. She might have calmed down after a night’s sleep and Jessica wouldn’t have to share her bedroom. Tomorrow could take care of itself, she thought tiredly as she gave her face a perfunctory cleanse, tone and moisturize.
‘What’s happening?’ Katie knocked on her door and slipped into the bedroom. She perched on the side of the bed and nibbled on a bowl of hot, buttery popcorn.
‘Want some?’ she offered, holding out the dish.
‘No, thanks, I’m stuffed. Mike and I went to Luigi Malones.’
‘Ha ha! Mystery solved. Her Highness was extremely miffed that you weren’t here and wanted to know where you’d got to because you’d refused to go for a meal with herself and Gary. I told her that you were probably riding each other ragged but that didn’t go down too well either,’ Katie said airily, licking her fingers.
‘You’re awful.’ Jessica giggled.
‘Yeah well, there I was having a perfectly lovely, slobby Friday night in, watching Graham Norton, when Miss Havisham arrives weeping and wailing and turning up her nose at my little pig-out. Honestly, I was raging. I hadn’t had one for yonks, trust her to arrive when I was right in the middle of it. It really spoilt my pizza. Do you think we could make it a condition of tenancy that she’s barred?’ Katie suggested sourly as she wriggled her tongue between her teeth, trying to eject a particularly stubborn particle of popcorn.
‘Ah, don’t be like that, Katie. She doesn’t have many friends.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ interjected her cousin tartly. ‘Honestly, just because she plays tennis and is fanatical about keeping fit is no reason to look down her pointy little nose at me. At least I’ve curves, not angles,’ Katie snorted indignantly.
‘Of course you have,’ Jessica soothed. Katie was a curvy, statuesque brunette who struggled with a fluctuating half-stone which was the bane of her life. It didn’t help that Carol offered ‘helpful’ tips on keeping fit and dieting when she was being particularly bitchy.
‘Why doesn’t she just break it off once and for all if she’s so unhappy? I bet Gary would be out of it so quick you wouldn’t see him for dust if he got the chance. Honestly, thank God I’m not that desperate for a man.’ Katie sniffed.
‘Stop it, Katie, don’t be such a wagon,’ Jessica chided. ‘Gary’s no pushover. If he wanted out, I think he’d get out. Sometimes they get on very well and we all have great fun.’
‘In the words of my dear old granny, it will all end in tears, mark my words,’ Katie predicted, wagging a finger at Jessica.
‘Yeah, well, do you want to know the best of it, little Miss Know All?’ Jessica grimaced. ‘Carol wants us to have a double wedding . . . so there!’
‘What!’ shrieked her cousin. ‘You’re joking!’
‘Would I joke about that?’ Jessica arched an eyebrow.
‘Cripes. What did you say?’
‘I sort of said I’d think about it. Mike, the idiot, was no help and Gary thought it was a good idea.’
‘You know why she wants a double wedding? It’s because if you agree it’ll make it all the more difficult for Gary to back out . . . Lordy Moses, that Carol is one cute little hoor.’
‘I know, I know,’ Jessica said wearily. ‘I don’t care, I’ll worry about it tomorrow. I’m whacked.’
‘There, there, petal, you have a good night’s sleep. You’ll need it for the morrow when yon wench will no doubt twist your ear,’ Katie teased.
‘Goodnight, Shakespeare,’ Jessica said drily, as she kicked off her sandals and slipped out of her white jeans. Ten minutes later she was curled up in bed, her eyes drooping tiredly as she tried to forget about her problems with Carol and endeavoured to dwell instead on Mike and how much she loved him. It worked, and she fell asleep having decided to surprise him the next day at lunchtime and whisk him off for a pint and a sandwich in Conway’s, or, if he preferred, a fry-up in the
Kingfisher.
* * *
Carol stretched and licked her dry lips. She felt hot, sticky and uncomfortable. Her shirt was all twisted up around her and her shoes felt too tight for her feet. She didn’t know where she was. She sat up, bleary-eyed, peering into the dark. Moonlight spilled through a split in the curtains and she remembered that she was at Jessica’s.
Memories came trickling back. The row with Gary. Being too disheartened to go home to her bedsit and walking past her front door to go to Phibsboro to get a nineteen bus to Jessica’s place. It had been so annoying when she got there to find that her friend wasn’t home. She’d decided to wait for half an hour even though it meant watching Katie stuffing her face with popcorn and pizza, which she’d disdainfully refused a portion of, even though she was starving. She wouldn’t give Katie Johnson the satisfaction of eating her pizza. Carol prided herself on eating properly and keeping fit. She must have fallen asleep and either Katie or Jessica had covered her with a quilt.
This night had been a complete disaster from start to finish. She hated sleeping on sofas. Usually when she stayed over with Jessica she slept on a fold-up bed kept in her friend’s bedroom. It was probably a bit late to go rooting and rummaging and making up a bed. She hauled herself off the sofa, switched on the lamp and checked her watch. Two fifteen, definitely too late. Jessica wouldn’t be impressed, she was always grouchy if her sleep was disturbed.
Carol sighed deeply, feeling very sorry for herself. Her stomach rumbled and she headed for the kitchen and opened the fridge door. There were three slices of cold pizza, some cottage cheese, a few withered tomatoes and a couple of slices of cooked ham curling up at the edges. She found a heel of a brown loaf in the bread bin, buttered it and spooned on some cottage cheese, and put a slice of pizza on a plate. She poured herself a glass of milk and took the unappetizing repast back to the sitting-room, where she ate it unenthusiastically and was rewarded with galloping heartburn for her efforts. In a foul humour, she undressed to her underwear and covered herself up with the quilt, expecting not to sleep a wink. Her last conscious thought was to wonder had Gary gone home alone or was he with another woman, one who’d give him what she wouldn’t. Gary with his dark good looks and inviting brown eyes would have no trouble getting off with any woman. That was his problem. Women were too easy for him. She knew one of the reasons he was drawn to her was because she hadn’t succumbed to his lover-boy charms.
Neither would she, she vowed, because her resistance was her trump card and if that was played, she wasn’t at all sure that he wouldn’t move on to someone else. That was the crux of their relationship. She just wasn’t one bit sure of him.
* * *
Gary stretched lazily and smiled down at the woman in his arms.
‘That was good,’ he said, caressing her cheek.
‘Mmm,’ she murmured drowsily. ‘You always were good in bed.’
‘What do you mean “were”?’ he demanded indignantly. ‘Are good in bed, Jen. Are! ’
‘Well, you’re getting on, you’re heading for thirty.’ She yawned.
‘Twenty-six, I’m a baby,’ he retorted.
‘So what’s brought you back to my door?’ She leaned on her elbow and looked down at him, her long black hair tumbling over her shoulders.
‘Missed you,’ he said succinctly.
‘Or missed riding me?’ Jen said drily. ‘What’s wrong, won’t your fiancée do the business?’
‘Don’t be like that,’ he said uncomfortably.
‘I’m right, aren’t I?’
‘Shhh, don’t spoil the evening.’
‘You’re a shit, you know that, don’t you?’
‘But you still like me.’ Gary flashed a sexy, confident smile.
‘You’re so arrogant, Gary, I wish I didn’t.’ Jen frowned. ‘This is the last time. You ended it, don’t forget, not me.’
‘Big mistake,’ he said smoothly and silenced her with a kiss.
4
Jessica stretched luxuriously and turned her head to glance at her alarm clock. Seven thirty a.m., she’d need to be getting a move on if she wanted to get to work in time. She was a broadcasting assistant in the Radio Centre in RTE and it was all go, go, go. She hoped the traffic wouldn’t be heavy. She’d been late twice in the last month and her boss hadn’t been too impressed. Then she remembered it was Saturday morning. Oh bliss, she thought happily. Lie-in day. What a treat.
She snuggled back under the duvet and lay contentedly watching the sun slant its early morning rays on to the end of the bed. She liked this cosy little room in the two-up two-down, small, redbrick house she shared with Katie – it reminded her of home and the small cottage she lived in with her mother in Arklow. The cosiness of the house had drawn her to it, a little jewel after some of the cramped, boxy, ugly flats she and Katie had viewed.
In a small side street off Prospect Avenue, it was a quiet little enclave at Hart’s Corner, a stone’s throw from the Botanic Gardens and the darkly gloomy Glasnevin Cemetery that somehow lent a gothic air to the surrounding streets.
She and Katie had been living in their little house for almost six months now and they loved it. The pretty mint-green floral curtains fluttered in the breeze and the sun beamed its dappled rays on to the buttery cream walls of the bedroom. She could do with dusting, she noted lazily as the sunbeams reflected on to the dust particles that covered the chest of drawers. The mirror on the front of the wardrobe badly needed a polishing; she’d do that later, she decided, as well as washing the contents of her bulging laundry basket. Her eyes drooped and she dozed off again. The next she knew, Carol was standing at the foot of the bed demanding to know if she was ever going to wake up.
‘What time is it?’ She sat up groggily, her heart sinking. She’d forgotten all about Carol.
‘It’s quarter to ten. Katie said to tell you she’s decided to go home and she’ll see you tomorrow night,’ Carol informed her irritably. ‘I’m going to the shop to get some fresh brown bread, have the kettle on when I get back.’ She didn’t even wait for Jessica to respond, but marched out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Jessica lay back against her pillows, fuming. This was her house, her Saturday morning lie-in, and Carol as usual had just taken over and done what she wanted. She was the queen of the Me, Me, Me planet. Jessica scowled. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. It looked like a peachy day outside. One of those unexpectedly warm, blue-skied days in early summer. No wonder Katie had gone home, she’d be on the beach for the day, knowing her. It was a pity Mike was studying, they could have had a nice day for themselves, up the mountains or at the beach.
She got out of bed and headed for the shower. Carol could stick on the kettle herself when she got in. She stood under the lukewarm spray, realizing that her uninvited guest had used all the hot water. She could see Carol’s black hair clogging up the plughole and that infuriated her even more. Carol never cleaned up the bathroom after herself. The water got progressively colder and she washed quickly and towelled herself dry.
The doorbell shrilled and she wrapped the bathtowel around her and went to open the door. ‘You used all the hot water and you didn’t clean the shower out after you,’ Jessica snapped as she stood back to let the other girl in.
‘Don’t blame me, Katie had a shower too,’ Carol retorted. ‘And it’s not very nice to give out to me when I’ve gone to the trouble of getting a nice breakfast for us.’
‘Yeah, well, I won’t be eating too much, I’m going to surprise Mike in the library and take him to lunch,’ Jessica said ungraciously and then felt a heel when she saw the flicker of hurt in her friend’s eyes.
‘Sorry,’ she backtracked. ‘That was rude.’
‘I’m used to people being rude to me,’ Carol said in a sulky tone as she headed towards the kitchen with her groceries.
Fraught, Jessica went back up the stairs to her bedroom and towelled her hair dry before styling it with the hairdrier.
Carol had the table laid and a bowl of fresh fruit an
d yoghurt set out for Jessica.
‘There’s muesli and brown bread as well. I know you like a fry-up on Saturday but this is much healthier for you,’ she said in a subdued sort of voice.
‘Thanks for going to all the trouble,’ Jessica said brightly. ‘Sorry I wasn’t here when you arrived last night. I didn’t know you were coming.’ She didn’t mention going for a meal with Mike; Carol was in enough of a martyr mode without getting into the huffs about imaginary slights.
‘Well, I thought you were going straight home.’
‘Ah, you know yourself,’ Jessica bent her head over her fruit and took a mouthful. ‘What’s on your agenda today?’ She changed the subject.
‘Don’t know,’ Carol said mournfully. ‘Do you know what that bastard said to me last night?’
Here it comes, thought Jessica stoically. ‘Who?’ She feigned surprise.
‘Gary of course,’ Carol snapped.
‘What did he say?’ She bit into a luscious strawberry, her thoughts drifting to Mike and the surprise he’d get when she arrived to take him to lunch.
Carol took a gulp of her milk. ‘Well, he wanted me to go back to his flat, he wants to sleep with me, but you know I won’t. He said you were on the pill and that you and Mike were at it like rabbits and he wanted me to go on the pill too, and I just told him I wasn’t going to go on it because I didn’t want to put on weight and have a stroke, and he said that was just an excuse and I said if he wanted sex go and get himself a slapper. It’s so insulting, Jessica!’ It all came out in a torrent of frustration and resentment.
‘I just don’t understand you, Carol. It’s not as if you’re a virgin. Why won’t you sleep with Gary? How can you not? You’re engaged after all, and I know it’s nothing to do with your religious beliefs, ’cos you don’t have any.’ She grinned. ‘I can’t keep my hands off Mike. I love sleeping with him.’
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