Apple's Angst

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Apple's Angst Page 11

by Rebecca Eckler


  “Easy for you to say,” Apple huffed. She was mortified by how cruel she sounded, especially since Lyon had gone out of his way to come pick her up and was trying to give her a pep talk.

  “Hey! I’m on your side, remember?” he said, eyeing her questioningly.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just feeling a little stressed,” Apple responded tensely. “I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry. It will get easier—it always does. You’ll see.”

  Apple gave him a small smile. He was trying.

  “Well, I guess there are a couple of cool people who work there,” she said. “Like this guy Michael, who’s kind of my boss, and Morgan, the receptionist. They seem really cool.”

  They sat in a comfortable silence until Lyon drove up into her driveway and pulled her in for a kiss. She kissed him back, even though she found her mind wondering to her unfinished homework.

  “I should really go. It’s late and I have three chapters of history to get through,” she said, pulling back after what she thought was a passable amount of kissing time not to hurt his feelings.

  “Don’t go in just yet. I miss you!” Lyon said, rubbing her neck.

  “I’m right here,” said Apple. “But I really should go in and get started. I’m so tired.”

  “You know what I mean,” Lyon said, pulling on one of her ringlets. “I love your hair. I think I may even be in—”

  Before Lyon could finish his sentence, there was a loud, frantic knocking on the car window. Apple and Lyon both jumped.

  It was Crazy Aunt Hazel. Apple pressed the button by her side and the window slid down.

  “Don’t do that! You scared the crap out of us!” Apple stormed. “What are you thinking?”

  “Sorry, but you have to look at these. There are some fabulous dresses and ideas in this magazine,” she said, throwing a copy of Heavenly Bride onto Apple’s lap. The magazine was as thick as the history book waiting for Apple to study it.

  “You have to look through them with me right now!” her aunt demanded. “Jim and I have decided to get married in a matter of weeks, so I don’t have time to mess around. We’ve got to get started right now! Right now! Right now!”

  Apple couldn’t believe it. Her aunt had just gotten engaged. Why did she have to rush into a wedding?

  “Do you know how many times you just said, ‘Right now’?” Apple asked her aunt.

  “I know what you’re thinking, Apple. And I already got an earful from your mother. It’s just that the venue we want has an opening in a few weeks, and no more for another seven months. Jim and I don’t see a need to wait that long. We don’t want to wait. We know we want to get married. So why wait?” her aunt asked in the same crazy tone, as if she had to convince Apple as she had obviously had to convince Apple’s mother.

  “Right,” laughed Apple. “You just want to start having sex with him again.”

  “Apple! I told you that in confidence,” her aunt said, turning to Lyon, who looked slightly embarrassed.

  “But, yes, it’s true. So get out of the car, Apple! Start acting like my bridesmaid and help me!”

  “Now?” Apple moaned. “But Lyon is here. And I just got home from work. And it’s so late! And I have so much homework to do.”

  “Lyon can help,” her aunt said, opening the car door and grabbing Apple’s arm. “Homework can wait.”

  “Ah, thanks, Hazel,” Lyon said. “But I think I’m going to go. Not that looking at bridal gowns doesn’t sound like such a fun thing to do. See you at school tomorrow, Apple?”

  “Absolutely. Thanks for picking me up. It was really sweet of you.”

  “My pleasure,” said Lyon. He looked like he wanted to kiss her. But Apple couldn’t allow that in front of her aunt, who would surely make fun of her. Plus, Hazel was eagerly pulling Apple’s arm, forcing her out of the car.

  The last thing Apple wanted to do was flip through wedding magazines. But she couldn’t also help but feel a little bit grateful that her aunt had showed up when she did. Apple had a feeling that Lyon was about to tell her that he loved her. She definitely wasn’t ready for that. She had known him for a mere few weeks! Of course, she had known him as long as Crazy Aunt Hazel had known Mr. Kelly, and now they were getting married, making that lifelong commitment to each other.

  But Apple didn’t really believe that people fell in love so quickly. Her crush on Zen had built up over years. Not that she would ever tell that to her aunt Hazel, especially now that she was in major wedding planning mode, and truthfully Apple had never seen her aunt more sure about anything. Maybe people do fall in love that fast. What did Apple know?

  Did Apple love Lyon?

  “Isn’t life working out for everyone?” her aunt asked, singing happily as she linked arms with Apple as they walked up to the door. “I’m getting married! You have Lyon and a great gig at Angst!”

  Apple wasn’t so sure. Suddenly, she felt somewhat sad. She knew she should be happy. But she only felt anxious, pressured, and stressed, especially wondering if Lyon had been about to tell her that he loved her. Though she knew her aunt was right—she should be ecstatic about what was going on in her life—Apple wondered why couldn’t she quite get there.

  Thankfully, her mother rescued her from looking through bridal magazines. Apple had never been so happy that her mother was acting like a mother, as opposed to acting like Dr. Berg or a friend.

  “Don’t you have homework to do? Have you even eaten dinner yet?” her mother asked when they walked in. “You got home from work late! I can’t believe I’m home before you are.”

  “I’m too tired to eat. And, yes, I was trying to tell Aunt Hazel that I have a ton of homework to do,” Apple responded. She was becoming more stressed by the second, thinking of all the pages she had to get through.

  “You had better go do it. But you should really eat something first. You’re going to need to learn all about time management now with this new job. You’d be surprised how much one can get done in a day if one just remains focused and organized,” her mother blabbered.

  Apple was skilled at tuning her mother out. She didn’t have that skill, however, when it came to her aunt, who practically started screaming.

  “But I need Apple’s opinion! She has to be here!” her aunt cried hysterically. “She knows better than either of us what is fashionable! Right, Apple? I need you! You’re my bridesmaid, for God’s sake!”

  “Hazel, Apple has homework. This is not more important than her grades. We can do this. Trust me, picking out the wedding dress is the easy part. What comes after the wedding is the hard part,” her mother said calmly.

  Apple and her aunt exchanged glances. Her mother had scolded them both.

  “You think I’m joking? Well, I’m not. Apple, go do your homework now. And, Hazel, let’s start looking through the magazines. It’s so ridiculous to be getting married so quickly,” her mother added, clucking her tongue.

  This made Hazel start to cry. Apple watched her mother wrap her arm around her aunt guiltily.

  “Don’t cry. Honestly, that’s the last time I’ll say anything about it. You know how I feel, but it’s your day. It’s your life. And picking out your dress is something that should be a happy occasion,” her mother said, comforting her sister, who looked far from comforted.

  Apple had never thought the day would arrive, but she was happier to do her homework than to deal with one of her aunt’s meltdowns, no matter how funny. She felt like she was on the verge of a meltdown herself.

  It was Friday evening and Apple was almost finished getting ready to go out for dinner with Lyon when the doorbell rang. Lyon was on Apple’s bed, flipping through an issue of Angst magazine, throwing out quips like “Did you know Sloan Starr is not in a relationship and also likes long walks on the beach? Did you know that Tommy D., that reality star, likes to make sculptures in his spare time?”

  Apple didn’t know why she found herself annoyed at Lyon’s throwaway com
ments about the celebrities in Angst magazine, especially the one about Sloan. Sloan, after all, had complimented her on her hair! Although it wasn’t much—barely anything, and Apple knew this—she still felt that Lyon was judging him without knowing him, and that was unfair. Sure, he was a celebrity, but certainly he was a person too, and he seemed nice. But Apple didn’t stick up for Sloan. She hadn’t even told Lyon that she had kind-of-sort-of met him. She was embarrassed that she had felt so enlivened by his compliment. It was silly. Besides, Apple now worked at Angst. She knew Lyon was joking, but she found it slightly disrespectful.

  “Who could that be?” Apple wondered. “I’ll be right back.”

  Apple ran downstairs. Her parents had gone to one of the many fundraising events they were invited to. Crazy Aunt Hazel and Guy both had their own keys and knew the security code, and always let themselves in, so it couldn’t be either of them.

  Apple opened the door. She couldn’t believe who stood before her. What was he doing here?

  “Zen! Hey!” Apple exclaimed.

  He stood slouched over with a baseball cap covering his eyes.

  “What’s going on? Are you okay? Come in!” Apple said, opening the door wider.

  “Thanks, Apple. I know this is weird, me stopping by. I was actually just playing basketball with Hopper, so I was nearby and figured I’d see if you were home. I should have called first,” Zen said.

  “No, it’s okay. What’s happening?” Apple asked, glancing worriedly upstairs, where Lyon was waiting.

  “I was just wondering if I could get your advice on something,” he said, smiling slightly. God, that smile, thought Apple.

  “Um, sure. Of course!” Apple answered nervously. Then she added, “Are you sure you want my advice? Remember how well that worked out the last time, when I lied to you?”

  “I know it’s weird,” laughed Zen.

  Though they didn’t ever speak about how Apple had lied to Zen and given him entirely-not-good ways to woo Happy, they both knew it had happened.

  “Don’t worry. It’s forgotten about. I just don’t want you to think I’m uncomfortable,” said Zen. “I mean, I want you to know that I do trust you, no matter what has happened in the past with us.”

  “Thanks. Can I get you a drink or something to eat? I don’t think we have much,” Apple said, trying to make the situation of Zen showing up at her house on a Friday night—for advice, no less—seem like it was no big deal. She hadn’t heard from Happy in the last couple of hours. She was probably at one of her acting classes or hanging out with Sailor or possibly even hanging out with Hot and Disturbed Guy.

  “No, no. I’ll be quick. It looks like you’re going out. Are you?” asked Zen shyly. “I mean, you look like you’re dressed to go out.”

  It took Apple a minute to remember that she was in fact going out, and that Lyon, her boyfriend, was waiting upstairs. It was as if Zen had some strange power over her, like a hypnotist.

  “Oh. Yes. In fact, Lyon is upstairs. We’re going out for dinner,” Apple sputtered.

  “Do you think he’ll mind that I’m here?” Zen wondered.

  “Oh, God, no. He knows we’re friends. So what’s happening?” Apple asked nervously, again glancing up in the direction of her bedroom. She knew Lyon would, in fact, mind that Zen was there.

  “I just have to talk to someone about this. And I can’t talk to Hopper because he won’t get it, and you know Happy better than anyone,” Zen started to say.

  “Apple?” Lyon called out. They heard footsteps coming down the stairs toward them.

  Apple had no reason to feel like she was about to be caught in the middle of doing something wrong, but that’s how she suddenly felt. She could tell Zen did too, because he immediately walked over to the far side of the room to look at a collection of DVDs.

  “Hey, baby. What’s going on? Who’s here?” Lyon asked, pulling her into a hug. It was only then that Lyon noticed Zen was also in the room.

  “Oh, hey, Zen. What are you doing here?” he asked, looking at Apple.

  “Oh, I lent Apple a DVD a while back and I was in the area, so I thought I’d pick it up. Here it is,” stuttered Zen, holding up a copy of Batman.

  “Oh, good. You found it,” Apple found herself lying. She wasn’t sure why. Was it really such a big deal for a male friend, one she had known for years, to come over and talk, even if she used to be madly in love with him at one point? That was over, thought Apple, so who cared? Well, Lyon, for one. And possibly Happy. Especially as Zen had come over to talk about her.

  “Thanks, Apple. So we’ll speak some other time, then?” Zen asked.

  “Yup. Of course. See you,” Apple said as Zen walked out the door.

  Lyon looked at her strangely.

  “Is something going on that I should know about?” he asked.

  “No! Of course not! He’s just a friend picking up a DVD he lent me, like, a year ago. He was playing basketball with Hopper, and Hopper lives, like, three blocks away,” Apple said defensively. She had no idea why she felt so defensive. She wasn’t hiding anything. All she had done was open the door. All Zen had done was take a DVD.

  “So why does he suddenly want it back now?” Lyon asked suspiciously. His tone sounded accusatory. Apple didn’t like it.

  “I don’t know. Maybe he had the urge to watch some men in tights or something. Maybe he really was just in the area and it popped into his head,” Apple suggested.

  “I think he likes you,” Lyon said. “I think he now has a crush on you, or maybe he always did.”

  “Hello? You’re acting crazy. He’s with my best friend Happy, remember? And he didn’t like me, remember?” Apple argued.

  “So?” Lyon asked. “Things change. People have changes of heart all the time.”

  “Nothing has changed!” Apple said. She was starting to become annoyed. Since when had Lyon become so clingy and jealous?

  “I’m not convinced,” Lyon said. He was pouting, and it wasn’t a very sexy look for him.

  “Can we please just go for dinner? I need to relax. I just finished my first week at work. And Crazy Aunt Hazel left me twenty-two messages today about helping her find the perfect wedding dress. She’s stressing me out. So please, Lyon,” Apple pleaded. “Please don’t stress me out too!”

  “Let’s go,” Lyon said. “You’re right. You had a hard week. I’m sorry.”

  Apple couldn’t help but notice there was still a slight edge to his voice. Why couldn’t he see that, if anyone, she was the one who should be on edge?

  Lyon took her to a sweet little bistro near Apple’s home, one of their favorites.

  Just as Apple felt herself starting to relax over tortilla chips and guacamole dip, Lyon brought up Zen again.

  “I just get a weird vibe from the guy,” he said.

  She really didn’t want to be talking about Zen, but she had to stick up for him. She had known him much longer than she had Lyon.

  “Really? He’s one of the sweetest people I know,” Apple said. “He’s always volunteering for something. He’s just a nice guy.”

  “Listen, Apple. I’m a guy. We know what other guys are like,” Lyon explained. “And I’m telling you, he wasn’t there just to pick up a DVD. He wasn’t happy to see us going out. He’s trying to worm his way in between us. I just know it.”

  Apple couldn’t help but laugh, accidently spitting out some of the chip she had just taken a bite of.

  “I’m being serious, Apple,” Lyon said.

  “I didn’t notice anything weird,” Apple responded, putting the half-eaten chip back on her plate. She had suddenly lost her appetite, thanks to the way Lyon was acting, even though she had been starving just minutes ago.

  “Well, what is he supposed to say?” demanded Lyon.

  Apple didn’t feel comfortable telling him the real reason Zen had come over, which was to ask her for advice about Happy. She hadn’t told Lyon anything about Happy’s new crush or how Happy wasn’t into Zen anymore. That was their
business.

  “I think you’re really seeing something that’s not there. I really don’t want to talk about this. It’s so stupid,” Apple said. Her usual favorite meal, steak and French fries, arrived and it suddenly didn’t look so appealing on the plate. She wished she had ordered a salad instead. Her stomach was in knots. She and Lyon had never fought before, and this felt like a fight. This was their first fight.

  “All right, then. Let’s go on a double date with Happy and Zen next week,” Lyon suggested, as if he was daring her.

  Apple gulped. She couldn’t think of anything she would rather not do. Who even knew if Happy and Zen would still be together next week? Apple knew that Happy had been avoiding Zen like the plague and continued to kiss Hot and Disturbed Guy before her sessions. For a minute, Apple thought of telling Lyon the truth about what was going on with Happy and Zen.

  Apple knew that her aunt Hazel told her future husband—Mr. Kelly—everything about her friends. According to her aunt, there could be no secrets in a relationship and if a friend told you something in confidence and you had a husband, obviously that friend knew you were going to share it with your partner.

  Still, Apple felt in her gut that if she told Lyon Happy wasn’t into Zen anymore, he’d just become more jealous and would really watch out for how Zen acted toward Apple and how Apple acted toward Zen, even if there was nothing to watch out for.

  “Sure. If work doesn’t get in the way. And if they’re available,” Apple said, trying to placate Lyon.

  “You’ll make the time,” he said. “And of course they’ll be available. She’s your best friend! So it’s a date.”

  “Fine, it’s a date. If that’s what you need to see that Zen is NOT interested in me, then we’ll do it. But you’re being ridiculous,” Apple said, pushing her plate back and looking away from Lyon.

  Lyon didn’t respond. This romantic, relaxing dinner was a bust. But suddenly Apple wanted to fix it. She didn’t want to be fighting with Lyon. She knew she hadn’t been the best girlfriend over the last couple of days. She had forgotten to call him back so many times. She had bailed on lunch. She had been short with him. And, in Lyon’s defense, Apple had once been in love with Zen. Maybe it was only natural for him to act this way.

 

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