“I’ve said something wrong, haven’t I? When I asked you to help me with father? I abused my privilege as your girlfriend, didn’t I?” She’d struggled with her feelings for him for so long. The thought of ending things broke her heart as much as the thought of them turning out like Cassandra and Orion. Now he’d turned the tables on her. She knew the blame resided solely with her. She’d abused the relationship. She’d held him at bay and then teased him with it when she needed him.
“No one is at fault here.” Damien spoke as if he were reading her mind. “We’re both just kids. Our relationship is new. And fun. And believe me when I tell you that you mean the world to me.”
“But?”
“The truth is we’re better off as friends.” Damien finished the sentence for her. “Your family has already put pressure on you. And mine are doing the same. Cassandra as well. The reality is there, in both our faces. It’s time we admit it.”
How many times had she had this conversation with herself? Practiced saying the same thing to Damien. Every time she looked at her father, a voice in the back of her mind whispered it. But even with the reality staring her in the face, she hadn’t given in.
Damien had. And as she stared into his eyes, her heart broke, seeing the steely resolve there. She’d triggered this. He wouldn’t admit it, but she overstepped. She had pushed him over the edge and caused this.
Tears threatened to fill her eyes, but she held them back. She’d save them for later and allow them to flow in private. Giselle gulped down the ache in her throat and answered back, “Maybe you’re right.” Her shoulders slumped. “But I’d liked to remain friends, if that’s still something we can be.”
Damien looked as if he wanted to lash out. Strange wrinkles formed across his brow. He set his jaw, clenching his teeth tight. “Of course.” He turned away. “But I need to take some time.”
His body language gave away what he was fighting to hide. This was hard on him too. A small consolation. If that could be considered consoling at all.
The worst thing, though, was her guilt. She’d wanted this on some level. And maybe that was what had caused her to act so flippantly with her relationship. Despite what he’d said about family putting pressure on him, she knew she was the source of it.
Giselle hoped, as she watched Damien walk away, that after a little time, they could be friends. She still needed him. For more than just magic. He was a part of her life.
Chapter 24
Soldiering through the remainder of the day without shedding a tear ranked up there with one of the hardest things Giselle had ever done. And when the bell rang at the end of her final class, Giselle opted to walk home rather than deal with her sisters nosing into her business. News traveled faster than the speed of light in high school. Without a doubt they’d already heard, and she’d have to face that conversation soon enough. It would be on her terms, though, when she was ready to deal with the scrutiny and the platitudes about it being better to end it now than later.
Giselle held it together all through the long walk home and even as she entered through the front door of her house. Passing by the happy couple Jeffrey and Christina lounging on the couch nearly sent her into a fit of waterworks, though, and it was all she could do to make it to the room where her father was staying before she completely lost it all.
He was her rock, silent and steadfast, a pillar of strength despite the fact he was little more than a vegetable.
Orion’s room was large, a second master in Martina’s two-story home, complete with a set of French doors looking out onto the patio. His seat had been turned to face the back yard so that he might enjoy the view; if in fact he was able to see. Giselle hoped deep down that he could, and it was easier for her to think of him doing so. He looked so much at peace; whereas her emotions were at war on a scarred battlefield with no hope of survivors.
“He dumped me!” She melted into a sobbing pile of emotions in front of her father. “Is it always going to be like this?”
If ever there was a time she needed an answer, it was then. A comforting pat on the back, or some kind words of encouragement. She’d get none of that from her family. None of them had ever dated out of their species. Even if they had, it wouldn’t matter. Martina had the entire family in a frenzy of planning so that they might appear perfect for the Alphas’ arrival.
A dirty little thought snuck into her mind at that moment. What if she hadn’t pressed her luck at all with Damien? He hadn’t seemed all that mad the last time she’d been with him. Annoyed, maybe, but not mad enough to break things off. How much of this decision to break up had been pressure from both families for the sake of appearing perfect for the Alphas?
“I wish I could talk to you, Father.” Giselle squeezed her eyes shut in the hopes of stemming the flow of tears. “I wish I knew what you’d faced. How to deal with all of this.”
He’d been guilty of loving a witch. The family had made no secret that it was the reason he’d had to abdicate this title. But there had to be more to the story. All she had was blank spaces with no answers. Love didn’t bloom overnight; relationships took time.
Even with Damien, she wasn’t ready to call what they had between them love, but it had certainly developed into more than just a friendship, and they’d taken a year to get to that point.
And both families had been neutral about them all this time.
Well. Neutral enough.
“Please just wake up. Talk to me. Tell me how do deal with this,” she pleaded, hoping the universe might see fit to grant her just a few minutes of fatherly advice. Something. Anything.
But for all her sobbing and begging for an answer, all she received was silence.
Giselle, as always, was the lone wolf having to figure the world out by herself. She ran the last month through her mind searching for clues. There had been many times when she’d been nudged in the direction of breaking things off with Damien. Especially right before she’d left for Washington.
Damien had never said anything, but it would stand to reason that he’d been nudged in a similar fashion. But by whom? Anyone in her family could be counted guilty. And for that matter, his family too. Perhaps they had colluded to make this happen.
She couldn’t tell what hurt worse: being dumped, or the fact her family might have conspired to rip her heart out behind her back.
She laid her head on her father’s lap, still trying to rein in her tears. Anger began to take the place where sadness had resided, but she had no target for her newfound fury. “Please give me strength.” Giselle breathed the words, trying her best to maintain control.
Orion didn’t move an inch. No twitch of muscle. No spark this time where there had been all the others. Just the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest, the only sign to confirm life still remained within him. As if he were trying to stay out of it even in his vegetative state.
Chapter 25
If she had any hope of ferreting out answers to what had happened between her and Damien, she’d have to try the only other person who’d been in the same predicament.
Cassandra.
The rumor mill had already churned out the reason behind Giselle’s sullen mood, and Martina mercifully gave her leave for the night to shirk her wolfy duties. That alone bred suspicion, but Giselle accepted the evening reprieve and the quiet in the house as the others left to tour the site where the trials would be held.
However, rather than sulk, she called over her other mother, offering time for the two of them to see each other as bait.
Cassandra wasted no time, arriving minutes after receiving the invitation.
Her wounds still fresh from Damien’s dismissal, Giselle opened the front door tentatively, putting on a brave face in case Cassandra had not yet heard what had happened.
The moment their eyes met, Cassandra knew. “Sweetheart. Come here and let me hug you!” Motherly instinct or perhaps the lingering part of the wolf residing in her gave her that innate ability to delve deep into the
window of the soul and read her pain.
Cassandra wrapped Giselle up in exactly the hug she needed. Warmth and love radiated from her in a way that Giselle could not only feel but draw strength from. She’d been so close to crying before, but now with this bolster of support, she pulled back from the pain and took a cleansing breath of calm.
“Thank you,” Giselle said, as she let her arms fall to her side.
Cassandra gave one more squeeze before letting go. “The pain is real. But I won’t make you dwell on it.”
“It just happened so quickly,” she said.
“You know that’s not true. It’s been in the works ever since you learned about me. Admit that at least.” All mothers must be blessed with that tell the truth glare. Cassandra might not have had much practice, but the look she gave Giselle made her want to admit she’d eaten all the cookies – even though there weren’t any.
“Not from him, though. I might have thought about it once or twice, but he’s been Team Giselle. All the way.”
“Until the reality of it smacked him in the face. When he came home after seeing Orion, there was a noticeable change in him. That’s all I’ll say.” Cassandra held her hands up.
There had been a change, all right. But it wasn’t just from seeing Orion. A wolf could smell a lie, and Cassandra gave out all the right signals. She wasn’t wolf enough to hear the uptick in a heartbeat the way Giselle could, but she had to know that her sudden drumroll sounded like an alarm to wolf ears.
That saddened Giselle. She’d hoped her other mother would be more open and honest. But whatever the reason, she’d confirmed that Damien had been influenced toward his decision.
With a defeated sigh, she changed the subject. “Before we go in there, how long has it been since you’ve seen him?”
“Since the day I left,” Cassandra said solemnly.
“It might be hard for you to see him initially, because he looks so fragile. But I know his spirit is still strong within him. I can feel that,” Giselle said.
“What do you mean?” Confusion stole the sadness from Cassandra’s tone.
Giselle struggled with the words at first, trying find the right way to explain his situation. “Like he’s there, looking out of his eyes like a window. His body is broken, but his mind is still there.”
Cassandra covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, dear gods. That’s a fate worse than death for him.”
At least she had the appropriate reaction. Everyone else she’d told had acted as if she were crazy to imply such an existence. He was a vegetable to them, incapable of thought or feeling, simply existing in a void until his life expired – which to Giselle sounded infinitely worse.
No. He was alive. She knew that much. And he was conscious on some level, as terrible as that was to think of.
“Right. I could imagine it’s hell,” Giselle said.
“Given the years a wolf can live...” Cassandra paused, as if unable to find the right words. “He could be like this for an eternity.”
The gods truly were cruel if they could do that to someone. Eternity in a prison of your own mind – no crime was worth that kind of punishment. And at the very least, it seemed that Cassandra understood that as well.
“Is there any way to fix him? Like, true love’s kiss or something?” Cheesy yes, and a completely childish question; but Giselle had no other way to broach the subject tactfully. And if nothing else, she’d earned an amused chuckle with her inquiry.
“You are way too old to believe in fairy tales. All magic has its price, and we all paid that price for you.”
Amusement lasted all of two seconds before nose-diving right back into harsh reality for Giselle. “Way to make me feel crappy.”
“I don’t mean it like that,” Cassandra said. “But magic has no emotions. It is what it is, and demands a price be paid. That’s the bottom line.”
“There has to be some kind of a magical currency system or something. Pay a price for something else?”
Cassandra had the look of someone really trying to avoid saying no and failing miserably. “Even if that were a possibility, what would you pay? And for that matter, how?”
Giselle shrugged, not having an answer herself. She’d hoped to glean more information, and just like with Damien before, she’d come up short. Everything got lobbed back at her like an endless tennis match. If only she could find her ace. What could she offer in payment? What did she have that was worth the life of her father? There had to be something. She just couldn’t allow his condition to continue. He deserved so much better than this life.
Cassandra squeezed Giselle’s shoulder. “I know you want your father. And if there were a way, I would tell you.”
“Stop reading my mind.”
“Not hard to do. It’s written all over your face. And though you might not believe it, I feel exactly the same. I would give anything to have my husband back.”
“What would you do if you did?”
“Live happily ever after,” Cassandra said, with a chuckle.
“Me too,” Giselle agreed. “Alpha or no, I don’t care.”
“I’ll be happy just to see him again,” Cassandra said, eyeballing the space behind Giselle as if she were blocking him from view.
“Right. I’ll take you in there.” Giselle led the way to Orion’s room.
“And please know I will do whatever I can to take care of him.” Cassandra followed close behind Giselle.
“We’ll take care of him,” Giselle said, almost defensively, although after she spoke, she wasn’t sure why. Still prickly over why Damien had decided to leave her had everyone looking suspect. She didn’t want to trust another man she cared for to anyone else. But Cassandra was not just anyone else; she was his wife.
“Yes. We will.” Cassandra stopped Giselle, making a show of pointing to herself and Giselle in turn. “My vow was in sickness and in health. The only reason I left was to stay alive long enough to track you down. Now that we’re all together again, I will uphold my end of the bargain. I will be by his side, ensuring his health and care right along with you.”
Giselle smiled. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear you say that.” If Cassandra truly meant it, she might be willing to help Giselle with her magical research. But she’d broach that topic again after her other mother had had the chance to really soak in Orion’s condition.
“Here he is.” She opened the door and allowed Cassandra to enter the room ahead of her.
Chapter 26
A week of awkwardness had gone by at school. Giselle kept tight-lipped about her situation with Damien, though she was certain everyone already knew. The initial pain of being dumped had faded with the overwhelming duties she had to perform for the upcoming trials. And when time permitted, she threw herself into research on magic. A busy mind had little time to dwell in the doldrums, and hers was running a marathon at top speed from morning until night.
Without a guide, however, on what was real and what was purely fiction, Giselle came up short on answers.
When her father had been an abstract concept – a strange, faceless man she’d never met – and she had been told of his condition, she’d felt sorry for him. But now, day after day, seeing him the way he was, helping to make sure he took his fluids, watching hired nurses showing the family how to change him and perform the tasks required to maintain him, the sense of urgency to fix his condition took over all other thoughts.
She didn’t want to approach him so soon, but she knew she had to do it. Damien was her best link to finding answers, or at least sorting out the truth from the magical mumbojumbo she read online.
“Hey.” She tried to sound casual as she ambushed him outside of his classroom. “Want to grab lunch... talk?”
“Depends on what we’re going to talk about.” Damien sighed with the weariness of someone who knew they were trapped.
“Not about us. You’ve made your position clear on that.” Her heart ached, remembering him walking away, but she hel
d her head high.
At least he looked as If he were hurting too. Boys loved to hide their feelings, but his puppy-dog eyes betrayed him. “I meant it. I want us to be friends. I just need time.”
Giselle harnessed her heartache to put desperation into her words. “We will be friends, in time. Right now I need an ally.”
“For what?” Damien asked, and nodded his head toward the lunchroom.
Thankful he had not turned her away at the door, she followed his lead, taking a moment to think of a tactful way to approach the conversation.
“I cannot stand by every day and see the shell of a man my father has become.”
“We’ve already―” Damien started to say, but she cut him off.
“No. You don’t understand. I feel this in my bones. I have to do something. I’ve―”
“Gods, you’re so stubborn. Please don’t ask this of me.” Damien’s fist came up, rearing back as if he were ready to punch the nearest locker, but he stopped himself and took a breath.
“So, have you found out something?” Giselle asked, ignoring tact now that curiosity piqued her interest. Only something truly bad could have elicited that kind of response. What did it mean, though?
“I really don’t want to say,” Damien said. “You and I are in a weird place. But no matter what happens between us, I care.”
“Which is why you must tell me. Because you know when I set my mind to something, I have to do it.”
“Why do you have to be like this?” Damien didn’t hold back this time, slamming his fist into the locker. “I’m trying to protect you. I thought if we... but no. Of course you can’t be swayed. You’re so god-damned...” He finished with a growl.
“It’s in my nature.” Giselle shrugged, hoping to give off an air of indifference, though she hated having to put Damien in this position. He cared; that was more than apparent in his outburst. And so did she. But there was truth to her words. When she set her mind to a task, there was no stopping her. All the way to possible ruin, her drive to see things to their end was rooted in the very fabric of her being. Reflex more than action. She had no control to stop herself.
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