The Omega’s Finest Baby
Unexpected Book Two
Louise Bourgeois
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Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Preview to Book Three
CHAPTER ONE
Calvin isn’t purposefully there when Brandon comes to talk to Dave - he just happens to be loitering in the dinner hall because Bill is up in their room being very much occupied by his boyfriend and he doesn’t really have anywhere else to go. He looks up when Brandon walks into the room and from one look he can tell what Brandon is here to say - he’s going home. He’s not really surprised - he’s seen Brandon get progressively more sick over the past week or so - but he is a little disappointed and he hopes Brandon gets better soon. He smiles softly at Brandon and then goes back to flicking through his magazine. He tries not to listen to the conversation, but he ends up tuning in part way through.
“Just don’t tell me that you’re pregnant. I’ve heard enough about Calvin’s plans for when that happens to him.”
“Hey,” Calvin calls out. “I’m still here you know.” He glares at Dave for a few seconds before going back to his magazine. He flicks through the pages angrily, though he’s beginning to understand Dave’s (everyone’s) annoyance - he’s been talking about having a baby for months now and, while it’s still a perfectly wonderful idea for him, he wouldn’t be surprised if other people felt differently; he’ll have to tone it down a little from now on. He’s too busy huffing that he misses the next few bits of the conversation.
“If it’s any consolation, we’re not keeping the baby.”
Calvin jumps a little and his eyes widen - did he just hear that right? No, it can’t have been. Can it? He looks over just in time to see Brandon leaving the room. He looks at Dave and that’s basically all the confirmation he needs - Dave is visibly shocked, but he already looks like he’s going to spend the next few hours, days, weeks, months figuring things out. He slowly stands up and looks at Dave.
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Yes.” Dave snaps out of his daze and looks at Calvin. “I think that would be for the best. I have a lot of phone calls to make now.” He starts walking out of the room, but stops when he’s next to Calvin. He’s quiet for a moment before speaking again. “You will make sure that he’s okay, won’t you?”
“You can count on it.”
***
Brandon is pacing up and down his room when he hears a knock at the door. He thinks about ignoring it - he’s not quite ready to face anyone yet - but quickly decides against that. He slowly walks over and pulls the door open. He’s not really surprised that it’s Calvin who’s here, but he’s still completely unprepared and has no idea what to say.
Calvin stares at Brandon for a minute or so before speaking.
“Do you want some cookies? George said that Desmond told him that Neal was craving cookies all the time when he was pregnant.”
Brandon isn’t sure what sets him off about that, but the next thing he knows he’s crying and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to stop.
Calvin’s eyes widen and for a few seconds he just stares at Brandon. When he comes to his senses, he steps forward and wraps his arms around Brandon.
Brandon clings to Calvin. He tries to breathe deeply to fight his tears, but it doesn’t really work.
Calvin gently rubs Brandon’s back and mutters what he hopes are soothing words.
When Brandon finally stops crying a while later, he’s pretty sure that he’s just worn himself out. He wipes his eyes and takes a few shaky breaths. He pulls back and stares at Calvin.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?” Calvin frowns heavily. “No, you did nothing wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, it was . . . I don’t even know why I’m crying.” Brandon runs a hand down his face. He walks back into the room.
Calvin closes the door and then hovers back for a few seconds before slowly walking towards Brandon. He nervously wrings his hands together.
“Did you . . . Were you serious before? About what you said, I mean.”
“Which part?”
“Any of it. All of it.” Calvin shrugs lightly.
“Yeah.” Brandon nods slowly and then turns to look out of the window. “I’m pregnant and we’re not having the baby.”
Calvin stares at Brandon. He thinks that he nods by way of acknowledgement, but he can’t be sure.
Brandon turns around and watches Calvin for a moment before sighing lightly and turning back towards the window. He steps forwards and presses his forehead against the glass. He just catches sight of Calvin’s reflection.
“I wasn’t going to tell you. I mean, I wasn’t going to tell many people at all. Obviously Dave knows, but that’s . . . I thought other people would find out, but I . . . I just wasn’t going to tell you.”
“Was I . . . Did I do something wrong?”
“What?” Brandon turns around and frowns heavily at Calvin. “Why would you think that?”
“You weren’t going to tell me.”
“I . . . No.” Brandon sighs heavily and shakes his head. “I didn’t mean . . . I wanted to tell you. I need . . . Well, I need you, okay? You’re still my best friend and I . . .”
“Then why wouldn’t you want to tell me?”
“I didn’t want to make you sad.” Brandon looks down and tries not to cry again.
“Why would I . . . You need me, right? Then, why would anything else matter?”
“Because . . .” Brandon looks up at Calvin through his eyelashes. “You want this for yourself. You’ve wanted it for what seems like forever now and you don’t have it. Here I am, not even planning on it, not wanting it, making the choice to throw it all away when it’s what you want and you don’t even get to decide. We all know how disappointed you are. I didn’t want to tell you and make it even harder for you.”
“You’re a fucking idiot.” Calvin steps forward and wraps his arms around Brandon. “This is you and your baby. It’s your choice.”
“You’re not mad at me?”
“No, I’m not mad, but you were right about something else - I am disappointed. You get to make this choice and I don’t even have that. It’ll happen for me when it’s meant to - I have to believe that. Just because I have to wait a little longer doesn’t mean I’m going to get mad at you for making the right decision for you. It’s not what I’d do, ever, but this is your choice. I’m not stupid enough to . . . I’m not mad at you. I’m not.” Calvin stands there for a minute or so longer, holding Brandon tightly, before stepping back and pulling Brandon over to the bed. He gestures for Brandon to take a seat. “Are you hungry? Because, you know, I was serious abou
t those cookies.”
Brandon laughs softly and shakes his head. He sits down and runs a hand down his face. He’s quiet for a minute before speaking.
“Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
“Didn’t we just get finished talking about how it’s not for me to decide?”
“You don’t have to decide, but . . .” Brandon takes a deep breath and then properly turns to look at Calvin. “Do you think I’m doing to right thing?”
“I don’t know.” Calvin shrugs lightly. “Why are doing this? Why don’t you want the baby?”
“It isn’t a good time for us. We’ve barely got ourselves settled again, after everything. There’s no question that I love him, that I want forever with him, but after what happened . . . I wouldn’t ever hurt him like that again, at least not on purpose, and I know he wouldn’t do it to me either, but we were so . . . It’s never been easy for us, has it? We’ve screwed each other up so many times and I would never forgive myself if I brought a child into that. We don’t know what’s going to happen. What if it gets bad again? We’d never plan on it, but things can get screwed up anyway. I don’t want to put a baby through that mess. I don’t even want to go through it. We’re working on it and we’re serious, but we’re not back to being good together again, we’re not settled. I’m not against having children with him - it would be amazing - but now is . . . It’s just not a good time. I can’t say for sure that I’d be happy if we had this baby and I don’t want to end up resenting anyone - not Dave, not the baby. I just . . . I’m not ready.”
Calvin stares at Brandon for a few minutes, taking in everything that Brandon has just told him.
“If you’re not ready, then, yeah - you’re doing the right thing.”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you?”
“Yes. It’s hard and it hurts, but I can’t have this baby.”
“Then why do you need to ask?”
“Because you . . . Aren’t you . . . Don’t you think all life is . . . I don’t know, precious or something . . . and it doesn’t matter if I don’t want it because it’s already this living thing and . . .”
“What I feel doesn’t matter. It’s what you feel and what Dave feels that counts. You’ve made this decision for your own reasons that aren’t selfish, at least . . . Well, it’d be worse for you to bring a baby into the world when you weren’t ready and end up miserable, suffering, possibly apart and maybe even hating your child. That’s not fair on anyone.”
“You’ll . . . I mean, you . . .” Brandon wrings his hands together. “You’re going to be there?”
“Yeah. I’m still your friend and I’m still going to support you.”
“Thank you.” Brandon breathes deeply for a moment, trying to fight off the fresh wave of tears he feels threatening to overcome him. “I still think people will be so mad at me. I think . . . I want people to understand, but I don’t want to have to keep justifying it.”
“Look.” Calvin puts his hands on Brandon’s shoulders and turns Brandon to face him. “Did you make the right decision for you? Are you happy with your decision? Is Dave? Are sure about all of this?”
“Yes.” Brandon nods. “Yes.”
“Then that’s all that matters. You don’t have to justify it to anyone else. As long as you’re sure, as long as you can live the rest of your life with this, knowing you did the right thing for everyone, then don’t mind anyone else. It’s no one else’s life. Okay?”
Brandon nods slowly and smiles softly at Calvin.
“I think I just needed to hear that I was allowed to make this choice, that I could decide to not have this baby, that . . . I just needed to hear that it was okay.”
“Of course it’s okay. Of course you can decide this. I don’t want to see anyone suffering - not you, not Dave, especially not a little baby - and I think this is probably the only way to . . . I think this way there’ll be less suffering so . . . If it’s right for you, it’s right.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem.” Calvin smiles. “You look like you could use some rest.”
“Yeah. Everything’s harder now and . . .”
“You go to bed and if you’re still around for breakfast, I’ll see you then and . . . If you do need to talk, any time, about any of this or whatever else, then I will be there to listen. I mean it, okay? You can call me any time and I will answer.”
“Any time?”
“Well, not when I’m sleeping, but...” Calvin grins. “Seriously - any time at all.”
***
“You got back late last night.” Bill drops into the seat next to Calvin at breakfast and gently nudges Calvin with his knee.
“You noticed?” Calvin turns to look at Bill and raises an eyebrow. “You weren’t too busy being occupied by . . .”
“Shh.” Bill waves away Calvin’s concerns. “Anyway, I always notice. So, where were you? Did George come by for a surprise visit?”
“No - he’s still just heading over for that conference abroad. I was with Brandon. He’s . . .”
“Sick, right?” Bill stares at Calvin.
Calvin is pretty sure that Bill knows there’s more to the story than that, but he’s not going to spill the secret now.
“And the rest. He just needed someone to talk to about some stuff.”
“And he picked you?”
“Fuck you.” Calvin shoves at Bill. “I’m an awesome best friend, thank you very much. I mean, who let you have the room to yourself for hours last night so you could . . .”
“Okay.” Bill holds his hands up. “I guess you’re not all bad.”
***
Calvin and Bill spend most of breakfast teasing each other (good-naturedly, of course. For the most part, at least).
Calvin is about to say something else when he catches sight of something in the corner of his eye. He looks over and sees Brandon hovering by the front door of the hotel. He hesitates for a few seconds - he’s not sure if he should acknowledge the situation - before getting up and rushing over because he really ought to say something to Brandon before he leaves.
Brandon just stares at Calvin when Calvin stops in front of him.
Calvin blinks a few times and frowns because he’s not really sure what to say now. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before finally speaking
“Are you okay?”
“I’ve felt better,” Brandon mutters and runs a hand down his face, “but thanks for asking.”
“You’ve got a few more days off now so you should use it to get some extra rest. I think that’s important right now. I mean, you made your decision so you can stop worrying and relax before . . . Well, I don’t know if you need rest exactly, but it’s a big thing you’re going to do and . . . You probably need to . . . You know?”
Brandon studies Calvin carefully for a few seconds before shaking his head.
“Not a clue.” Brandon grins, but then he chews on his lower lip for a moment. “I’m still me, you know. You can talk to me the way you always have.”
“Yes, but . . .” Calvin sighs lightly. “I just . . . I don’t know. I think I don’t want to say anything to make it worse.”
“No, you’re actually being helpful.” Brandon smiles softly and puts a hand on Calvin’s shoulder. “I think they want you back over there.” He nods over to the breakfast table where some of the staff have gathered round for a meeting.
Calvin glances back over his shoulder and then looks at Brandon again.
“Well, yeah, okay, but if you need to talk then . . .”
“Any time.” Brandon nods. “I remember.”
“I should go then. I’ll speak to you soon and I’ll . . . uh . . . I’ll see you . . . Well, I guess we could come by after the conference and . . .”
“I’ll be there.”
“What?” Calvin frowns heavily. “At the conference?”
“Yeah.”
“To participate?”
“Yeah.”
“Even tho
ugh you’re . . .” Calvin waves his hand in the general direction of Brandon’s stomach. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“I’m still going.”
Calvin stares at Brandon for a minute or so before slowly shaking his head.
“You’re definitely calling me later now. We are going to talk about this.”
***
“What the fuck are you thinking?”
Brandon holds the phone away from his ear - he should have known that as soon as he saw Calvin’s name flashing on the display screen that this was not going to be a happy conversation; he’d completely forgotten about it not being a quiet conversation as well. He pulls the phone back to his ear a few seconds later.
“Who are you? My mother?”
Calvin stops and thinks for a few seconds.
“Does she know?”
“Mom?” Brandon sighs lightly and rubs his forehead. “I wasn’t going to tell her until after. Then I made the mistake of telling Ryan so of course Mom found out within about three minutes.”
“He’s your brother - I’m sure he’s just worried about you. What did your mom say?”
“She . . .. I can tell she’d rather I didn’t do this, but she’s trying to be supportive, I guess - we’re not really talking about it.”
“Hmm.” Calvin frowns slightly and nods slowly as he processes all of this. “Okay. Back to my original point - what the fuck are you thinking?”
“Do you have to shout?”
“Yes. So?”
“I have to be there. I had to be here. I can’t just . . . I can’t let people down.”
“Things change.”
“Yeah, well . . . I made promises and I can’t break them. I don’t want everything to change. I don’t want to let it all go. This year isn’t supposed to end yet, not now, not here, not like this, and I can’t let that change. If it . . . If I did this now, I wouldn’t be able to make it to the conference and I need to be involved.”
“Why?”
“For you. For me. For everyone who worked so hard to make our project a success. We owe it to them, don’t we? It might be . . . I don’t know what’s going to happen. What if something goes wrong? What if they can’t . . .? I have to finish everything I promised I’d do first in case I don’t get another chance.”
The Omega's Finest Baby Page 1
