Mind (Trinity Trilogy Book 2)

by Audrey Carlan

  I look deep into his eyes, trying to express with one look the seriousness of what I’m about to say. “Don’t ever let me go. I no longer know who I am without you. We’re one now. It’s you and me. Full circle. Just us.”

  His smile is huge and as beautiful as a sunrise. “What you said before, about no man every loving you like I do?” I nod. “I’ll ruin any man that tries to come between us.” He’s as serious as a heart attack. He continues, “We’ll get married, Gorgeous, but as much as I hate to say it, we’ll postpone it a few months. Let’s start with three and go from there. I don’t want to wait a second longer than I have to. I can’t wait to make you Mrs. Davis.”

  “God, Chase, you’re my everything,” I admit.

  “Come here, beautiful girl,” he says pulling me into a deep, wet kiss. For a long time we just kiss and caress one another, reconnecting on a physical level, now that we’re solid emotionally. His hands run lines all over my body. It’s as if he’s painting a canvas. Small brushes here, long strokes there, all while making it his life’s mission to kiss me fully. A kiss from Chase is an event. He’s soft when he needs to be, harder other times. Simple tugs of his teeth against my top then bottom lip, all work to rile me up. I sigh into his mouth. His hands trace circles over my lower back and start to push up my tank. When his hands cup my breasts I sit up, straddling him, then the phone rings. Chase’s hands fall to the mattress in a heap of muscle and bone.

  “Mother hell…” he clenches his teeth down and that jaw tick I’m so fond of starts winking.

  “It’s okay. You told him to call you. It’s probably Jack,” I remind him.

  That gets his attention. He lifts up, puts one arm around my body and leans over the bed to the side table to grab his phone, never letting me go with the other arm. He lays back and presses a button bringing it to his ear. I lean down and take this moment to place kisses along his wide chest.

  “Read it to me,” he says gruffly.

  I already know what it says, but can sense the exact moment Chase understands how serious this has become. His chest tightens and his hand on my thigh clenches down. I hug him the best I can, draped over his body.

  “Put a guard at the door to the room. No one gets in that’s not family or one of our friends. Get the note over to Thomas Redding and his team. They need to be on this ASAP.” He clicks off the phone and tosses it on the bed.

  “Austin never leaves your side when you’re not with me.” His voice is menacing, and I can tell that Protective Unreasonable Chase is about to make a show-stopping appearance. “He will not get to you. I will spend every fucking dollar I have to keep you safe,” he grits his teeth so hard I can hear him grinding them. I put a hand to his jaw and lean down to kiss away his anger.

  “Whatever you say, baby. I’ll do it. Now, I need you,” I grind my hips against his ever present erection. It had softened a bit during his call, but is growing again as I roll and press into it. With a quick move, I rip the tank off, twist an arm around my back and unclasp the lacy bra. With effort, I grip his hands, the ones that are clenched into fists by his side, pull them up, and place them directly onto my bare breasts. They squeeze reflexively and Chase thrusts his hips between my thighs. So good.

  “That’s it. Now, take what’s yours, Chase.” His eyes blaze fire at the words of ownership I chose. My guy is beyond possessive. He doesn’t consider me his property, per se, but he does consider me his, because I’m his other half. Without him, there is no me and vice versa. We’re the best parts of each other.

  Chase leans up and places a firm hand around my neck, lifting my chin with his thumb. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you never forget who takes care of you, baby.” He kisses me rough, wet, and deep. I give it back to him with everything I have. He knows what I need and gives it to me over and over. Reconnecting physically, when I’m struggling emotionally, is exactly what will get me through today. Tomorrow, on the other hand is a new day, and one I’m not looking forward to.

  Chapter 9

  Gillian

  “Gillian, my dear, it’s so good to see you,” Dr. Madison says as his arms encircle me. It’s like hugging your brother or someone you love dearly. That sense of familiarity and peace sink deep into the tortured parts of my soul. Unfortunately, it also makes me miss Phillip and his big bear hugs. I squeeze Dr. Madison harder trying to convey all the hurt and turmoil that’s plaguing me, without having to get into the nitty gritty of it.

  “I think that’s quite enough,” I hear Chase grumble from behind me. I pull away, having forgotten that Chase was close.

  Dr. Madison holds me at arm’s length then looks over my shoulder. “A friend of yours, I presume.” His voice carries a twinge of sarcasm yet still a hint of humor that always makes me feel comfortable revealing my deep, dark, secrets. Before I can answer, Chase grips me around the waist and pulls me back against his chest. Dr. Madison’s eyebrows rise and his lips curl into a familiar frown as he clasps his hands together confidently in front of him.

  “This is Chase Davis, Dr. Madison. My fiancé,” I finish.

  “Fiancé?” his tone is surprised. Probably because the last time I was here I made it clear that I was swearing off serious relationships for the rest of my natural life. I nod and he gestures for me to take a seat in the big comfy chair, the one I usually crawl into like a kitten. “You can wait outside Mr. uh…”

  “Davis, Chase Davis,” he says with an air of authority. He’s used to that name carrying some serious clout. Unfortunately, Chase is going to be sorely mistaken when he realizes that Dr. Madison doesn’t care about trivial things such as status. He’s in the business of mental health not wealth.

  Chase looks at me and then at the doctor. Instead of leaving, he walks around and takes the chair next to mine, props his ankle on the opposite knee and brings his hands into a steeple under his chin. “No, I think I’d like to stay. Can’t be too careful with my woman,” he says and I roll my eyes. Oh, the doctor is going to have a field day with this one.

  Dr. Madison sits down and crosses his legs pulling a yellow notepad onto his lap. “Your woman?” He quirks a brow again. “Interesting. How do you feel about being his woman?” The doctor turns toward me.

  “Uh…” I pinch my lips together not knowing how to answer that.

  “She feels perfectly fine about it, right Gillian?” Chase answers for me in the only way he could…with finality. I don’t think he could accept anything else. His pride would probably crack and break right here like a porcelain doll hitting concrete.

  The doctor turns towards Chase. “I didn’t realize this session was couple’s therapy. When Gillian called, she said she had some personal things she needed to work through.” He attempts to continue, but Chase cuts him off.

  “I don’t think I like your tone, Doctor,” Chase’s eyes narrow and he leans both elbows onto his knees.

  “Excuse me if I’ve offended you. I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he says in a perfectly reasonable tone.

  Chase looks Dr. Madison up and down. My therapist is hot. There’s no denying it. He just is. Maria and I often joke, calling him Dr. McHottie. His dark blond hair is styled to perfection. The Dockers and dress shirt he’s wearing are in pristine condition, even though I know I’m the last patient of the day. The doctor’s hazel eyes assess both Chase and me until he crosses his arms and brings one hand up to his face, curling a knuckle against his lips.

  Chase visibly bristles. He’s unbelievably cute when he’s jealous. “Why do you have to have a male doctor anyway? Aren’t there women you could talk to?”

  I laugh out loud, slip off my heels from work, and curl into the chair. Both Chase and Dr. Madison look at me like I’ve lost my marbles. Probably because I have. “Chase, sometimes, baby, you are too much. Do you see what I’m dealing with?” I ask the Doctor. Chase’s brows rise and his eyes widen.

  With a small smirk the doctor responds, “I do. Looks like you’re spiraling right into familiar patterns,” he says, and
I nod knowing he’s referring to my fetish for controlling men.

  “Chase doesn’t realize he’s trying to control the universe, Dr. Madison. When it comes to me, he just, well, he loses his shit,” I say deadpan as Chase whips his head to me, his gaze expressing his frustration.

  Chase stands up abruptly. “Excuse me?” Chase walks over to my chair, and pulls me up to a standing position. “I think we’re done here,” he growls. His hold, the way he’s claimed me in front of the doctor is not lost on my therapist.

  “Sit down, Mr. Davis.” The doctor’s tone is forceful yet respectful. “It seems we have only just begun. If you want Gillian to be herself, feel safe, calm and whole in your world, you’re going to need to work with us, not against us. Emotional health is necessary for any loving relationship to flourish and succeed. Do you want Gillian to be whole?” he asks in a way that Chase can’t deny.

  “Of course I do. Nothing means more to me than her.” I hug him tight and untangle myself from his arms and go back to my chair. He does the same, only a scowl mars his handsome features.

  Dr. Madison adjusts his long body in his own, high-back, worn, leather chair. “Now, Gillian, why are you here?”

  I take a deep breath and start to go through everything. During the middle of my story, when I get to the part about the stalker blowing up Phillip, Chase reaches out and clasps my hand. He traces the infinity symbol on my hand as I grip his hand tight. My rock.

  “And now we’ve had to cancel the wedding, because I can’t relax. I don’t know what to do about Phillip, my best friend, Bree, is hurt, and...and…” I tremble as the weight of everything pulls me under the tide.

  Chase jumps in, “We’re not cancelling our wedding. Just postponing it a little while. Hopefully, we’ll have this stalker situation dealt with really soon. I’ve got any army of men working on this.”

  “I’m being stalked, Dr. Madison. A real life, scary guy, is stalking me. This freak wants to hurt me. He wants to hurt my friends. Christ, he has hurt my friends. What am I going to do?” I screech. “Who else has this type of crap to deal with? It’s unbelievable,” I say everything as if I’m releasing all the pent up frustration of the past five years. Maybe I am.

  The doctor takes a breath and hands me a box of tissue. I blow my nose loudly into the tissue. “Gillian, this situation is unfortunate. I’m sorry you have to go through it. Have you narrowed down who this individual is? Maybe someone from your past?” he says the words slowly, and I envision Justin, the sickening grin that would slip across his lips when he was about to lose his mind. Instantly I’m back there…

  Woods all around me. The sun is setting as I run through the trees. Speckles of light flutter along the ground as my feet hit the dirt and leaves. Blood pours out my nose, into my mouth, and down the front of my shirt. I have to get away. If he finds me, he just may kill me this time.

  “Where are you, Gil?” I can hear is voice not far behind.

  I run faster, even though the coppery taste of my own blood makes me gag and spit. I can only breathe through my mouth. He’s broken my nose again, and every heaving breath I take as I run, I swallow down more of my own life source.

  My hands are painted red as I slam into a tree and whirl around it, trying and failing to catch my breath.

  “There’s nowhere you can run that I won’t find you.” He laughs loudly. It seems to echo off the trees as if he’s closer, standing right in front of me. From this spot, I don’t know where he is, only that he’s close. I crouch down low. Tears blind me as I lean heavily against the rough bark of the tree.

  For long moments, all I can hear is the sound of my own breathing. Maybe he went back to the campsite? I know there’s a road not too far from here. If I can just get to the road, I can flag down someone for help.

  Standing up, I try to see through the now fully darkened forest. My entire body is shaking and the cold shock from the pain is setting in. Just as I take two steps forward, I feel a hand around my neck and one at my hip slamming me into the tree. My head hits the bark so hard I see tiny bursts of light.

  “You think you can escape me?” Justin snarls before bringing back his arm and punching me hard in the stomach. All the air leaves my lungs in a giant whoosh. Pain lances through my abdomen. He pins me to the tree with the weight of his body and pulls my hands up over my head. Justin cocks his head and looks at every facet of my face, his dry, cracked lips curling into a sneer. Leaning close he drags an unshaven cheek against mine. I can feel his lips against my ear. “Remember when you said you were mine forever? That was a promise. One I’ll never let you break. I’ll kill you before I ever let you leave.”

  “Baby, Gillian, I’m here,” Chase’s voice enters my thoughts. I can feel his hand running up and down my back. The lights of the room start to penetrate my senses. I can see the French doors that lead off to the balcony, the mahogany desk in the corner, a wall of bookcases with medical texts and trinkets from around the world. I know this place. I love this place. This place makes me feel safe. Currently, I’m huddled into the corner in a fetal position.

  “Come here, Gillian. I’ve got you, I’ve always got you. Remember, I promised to always bring you back,” Chase’s words reach my subconscious, and I fling myself into his arms. He holds me close, lifts me up and brings me to the chair I was sitting in previously. I hug him tight as he cradles me like an infant. Once my breathing comes back to a neutral pattern I uncurl my legs and look around. Dr. Madison is sitting in his chair, yellow pad held tight by his clenched hand, the paper scrunched up and creased, kind of like my heart after that flashback.

  “I’m sorry, Dr. Madison,” I whisper and his head springs up.

  “Gillian, you have nothing to be sorry about. I hadn’t realized that you were having the flashbacks again. This stalker business is bringing up some very old wounds, ones you obviously haven’t dealt with. How often are they coming to you?” He asks.

  Shame hits me like a physical blow. “Um, I’ve been having them off and on for the past few months. When I moved in with Chase they were all but gone. Then this thing with Phil happened, now they’re back full force.”

  “And the nightmares…tell him about everything,” Chase warns forcing me to be honest with the doctor and myself.

  I close my eyes and let Chase’s scent fill my nostrils and calm me, his warmth replacing the chill deep in my bones, and his love washing away the shame.

  “I’ve had one a night since the note appeared a few days ago at the hospital. I feel like I’m losing my mind, that I’m living in the past. The only thing that can bring me out of it is…” I suck in a breath as the tears spill down my cheeks.

  “Is what?” Dr. Madison asks.

  “Me,” Chase answers for me and I nod silently, not able to form words. “And I’ll do it every time. Gladly, baby. You’re mine. Not some sick fuck from your past that put his hands on you with hate. I swear to God if I ever see him…”

  I turn in his lap and cup his cheeks. “No. He’s ruined enough of me. I can’t let him hurt you. Not you.” I lean my forehead against his.

  “Is that what you think, Gillian? That Justin ruined you?” Dr. Madison asks softly.

  I nod and look out the window. “I don’t even know why Chase would want someone so messed up. It doesn’t make sense,” I admit. Chase’s arms grip me tight. I scramble out of his lap and into the other chair needing the space to wallow in my own self-pity.

  “Gillian, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only are you the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, your heart is bigger than those of a hundred people. You’re smart, silly, devastatingly intelligent, and your soul is pure. I want that in my life. I need that in my life, every day, forever.” Chase comes over to me and kneels at my feet. “No woman has every loved me, the man I am with you.” Chase swallows and kisses my hands. “You are not ruined. Baby, you’re perfect. Perfect for me.”

  Nodding, I clasp his hands and kiss each of his fingers. “I love you, Chase
. Thank you for being with me. Pushing your way in today. I needed you with me.”

  “There’s nothing that will keep me from you,” Chase finishes kissing me softly as if he’s sealing his promise with a kiss.

  Dr. Madison takes a deep breath and lets it out with a sigh. “Welcome back, Gillian. We have some work to do, with and without, your over-protective fiancé,” he grins at Chase. My man does not care. He just shrugs and pulls me up. He grabs my shoes and helps me step into each one. His hands skim up my legs in the process. A little caress letting me know our time together isn’t finished. And no, no it’s not. I’ll never be finished with Chase.

  Gillian

  “What are you doing here? It’s not your turn to babysit,” Bree says, disdain clearly evident in her tone.

  Entering the room, I take in its cheery appearance. Flowers cover every surface, tickling my nose with their sweet scent. It’s a direct contrast to the unmoving man lying in the hospital bed and the irate woman at his side, clutching his hand. Bree is flushed with anger. Her skin has reddened, her mouth is in a heavy scowl and her eyes are shooting daggers. One of her petite hands is clenched so tight into the thick blanket covering Phillip that it almost glows white.

  “Bree, seriously?” I shake my head and place my hand on Phillip’s thigh, wanting him to feel my presence. She smacks my hand off him so quickly I stumble back.

  “Don’t fucking touch him! Everything you touch turns to shit!”

  Whoa! I knew she was upset, positively broken-hearted after receiving that note, but I had no idea when I came today I would be dealing with a stranger. This is not my soul sister, my Bree. She’s not herself. “That is not fair, Bree, and you know it.” I try speaking softly, hoping to express the deep sadness that fills me.

  “Fair? You want to talk about fair?” She stands and swipes a hand through her messy blonde hair. Usually, it’s a perfect golden blanket down her back. Right now it’s scraggily, possibly even unwashed, definitely having seen a thousand better days. “You’re standing here, and Phillip’s lying there. Is that fair, Gigi?”