by Adair, Mary
"I still don't understand," Sara repeated her question, her voice rising in panic. "Where are you going and why?"
"Lady Montgomery is telling Lady Gaylord that this is all a pretence. I don't know if William knows the truth, or even if Lady Montgomery herself is completely aware of her condition. At any rate, she is using this illness to get Raven and me out of London together. She told Raven that her physician advises an herb that can only be purchased in York. Raven and I will be leaving right away to retrieve it. I wouldn't go if I weren't sure you would take very good care of her while we're away."
Sara backed toward a chair and sat down. "Just how sick is Lady Montgomery?" she asked in a small voice.
"Lady Montgomery has a heart condition." At Sara's gasp, Dawn hurried to reassure her. "It's not serious at this point, and certainly not as bad as she's pretending. I intend to see that it doesn't worsen. But while I'm away some changes must be made if she is to truly improve. Please listen. My instructions must be followed closely. If Lady Montgomery complains, tell her you got your instructions from me and she must follow them. Just remember to follow her lead when speaking to Lady Gaylord or to William."
"Of course, but is the herb not available here?"
"There is an herb that grows in my homeland. I am sure my father said it grows here as well, but I haven't been in the countryside to see for myself. If I find it along the way we'll return sooner."
Dawn tilted face toward the sunlight that filtered through the window. "The Ladies think if Raven and I have time alone we will heal all our differences and Raven will accept that we belong together. I know I need to get Raven out of London for a while. And, I know Lady Montgomery needs that herb. Those are the two things I will concern myself with at this time."
Sara straightened her shoulders and determination shone in her eyes. "Just tell me what to do."
"First, I want those drapes opened each morning. Sunlight must enter that room. I also want a window open so fresh air can circulate during the warmest part of the day. You can do that during her walk in the garden."
"Walk in the garden? But —"
Dawn raised a hand. "She must rise from that bed! Walk her about her room and the hallways for half an hour twice a day. I only want her to go down the stairs once a day. That is when she will go out to walk in the garden. She will object to all of this because she thinks she must put on a convincing sickbed ruse. If she remains in that dark room until our return, she will lose strength and her remaining good health will be in danger."
Sara nodded in understanding.
"Now, this is most important. She is to walk about the garden during the warmest part of the day, in the sun, with her shoes and stockings off."
With a sharp intake of breath, Sara leapt to her feet and looked at her friend as if Dawn had lost her mind. "With no stockings or shoes on her feet?"
"Mother Earth is one of the places from which we draw our strength," Dawn offered in explanation.
"I doubt that Lady Montgomery has felt the dirt beneath her feet in more years than I have lived. Probably never!"
"All the more reason she must feel it now." Dawn stepped away from the window. "Come with me to the kitchen. Cook has a wide verity of herbs. I will show you how to prepare several of them into teas and broths for Lady Montgomery. Some she will enjoy, but a few of them you will have to insist she take. Don't let her refuse them. I'll talk to her myself so she'll know you will report to me when I return."
Chapter Fifteen
Dawn sat stiffly in the carriage, watching London creep past. Every muscle in her body was knotted with tension. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on relaxing, but failed at the task. The grinding and bouncing of the carriage wheels on the cobblestone street jangled her nerves, and the irritating, irregular motion of the wheels sent a tingle down her spine. She opened her eyes and once again gazed out the window. Wisps of fog drifted along their route as the early morning chill seeped through the layers of fabric encasing her.
The damp chill, so unlike the invigorating breezes of her home, penetrated to her bones and sat as heavy on her shoulders as it did on her spirit. She always loved the coming of morning, the crisp fresh air slipping across the mountaintops, the sounds of nature waking. She envisioned New Moon, her mother, at home in Chota Town. A pang of homesickness threatened to further undermine her composure. Gripping her hands together in her lap, she forced back her feelings of loneliness.
Stay focused, she told herself. Raven's life, and Lady Montgomery's health depended on her.
With a renewed determination, she allowed her gaze travel along the white man's buildings as they rode past. Sadness once again engulfed her and she suffered the loss for the beauty the ugly structures had displaced. Wishing she could feel the exhilaration of the morning breeze against her skin, she leaned closer to the open window and breathed deeply. At once her nostrils were invaded by the putrid smells of the overcrowded city.
Quickly retrieving the scented handkerchief given to her by Lady Montgomery, she brought the lacy piece of fabric to cover her nose and mouth. She was immediately besieged by a fit of sneezes brought on by the offensively strong scent of perfume.
With no thought to the expense of the piece of lace, she tossed the thing from the window. "I don't understand why I couldn't leave Montgomery house on horseback." She wiped at her eyes with a gloved hand and complained to the only other occupant in the carriage.
"This is better." Raven stared out his own window. "As soon as we're out of London, you can change into your buckskins. We'll go the rest of the way on horseback."
Dawn twisted on her seat, turning her back on the depressing scene outside. She sighed heavily. If only the scene within the carriage were less dark and foreboding.
"Do you think that London will be any less shocked to see me arrive in buckskins?"
"We'll return the same way we left. Nigel will pick us up where he drops us off."
She snorted in a very un-ladylike fashion. "Lady Montgomery told me it will take nearly three weeks to make this trip. Should poor Nigel be expected to camp that long?"
"Of course not. You know on horseback we'll be able to make the trip in half the time. Nigel will go back to Montgomery House. He'll return in a few days, as I have instructed. If we're delayed it will not be for long. There's an inn nearby."
Dawn fidgeted in her seat. She hated it when Raven spoke to her in short choppy sentences, as if he had no time for her at all. "I could make it in even less time on foot!" she mumbled irritably.
Raven turned and leaned forward. His eyes locked on, hers. "Now, what are Lady Montgomery and Lady Gaylord up to?"
She met his gaze, her eyes unwavering. "What do you mean? Lady Montgomery is ill. You know she's ill." Dawn tapped at her wrist with two fingers. "I saw you checking her heartbeat."
"Yes...I know. I've also known the Ladies a long time. I know when they're scheming. Now what are they trying to accomplish sending us off after a herb she should already have handy?"
Dawn hesitated, then finally spoke defensively, "She doesn't have the medication. I checked. You know her physician. He relies on leaches and good wishes. I've been talking about Da and how much he has taught me about the use of plants to treat illness. I'm pleased she trusts us to bring back what she needs. I also think she wants to keep worry from Lady Gaylord, so she told her she was pretending to be ill."
"That may answer some of the questions, but I know there is more."
Dawn wiggled in her seat. "She wanted to get the two of us out of London together."
"I realize that. Have you gotten into more mischief than I am aware of?" At her in-drawn breath, he raised a hand. "It doesn't matter. Your escapades on the docks were enough to put an intolerable strain on her heart, not to mention her sensibilities."
Dawn's anger flared. She raised one shoulder and responded flippantly, "Lady Montgomery is stronger than you think."
Raven's impatience showed in his black eyes as he glared at her. "I'm sure, b
ut she won't be for long. Not with having to put up with your escapades." His voice softened. "The least you can do is to retrieve the herbs for her. After that, other arrangements will be made." He eased back in his seat and turned away. "I can't allow you to make either of them ill."
Dawn blinked several times to hold back her tears. To hide her sorrow from him, she again turned to stare out the window. Raven fought his battle well. He was determined to save her from herself, even if it destroyed any hope for them.
She watched through tearful eyes as the scenery changed. They had left London by way of The Great Northern Road and were now traveling through a truly beautiful forest. An old gnarly oak held its branches wide and high. Dawn leaned from the window and strained to hear the spirit of the tree. She risked a deep cleansing breath and was rewarded when the scent of mints and evergreens filled her lungs. She let the gentle breeze dry away her tears.
Dawn's spirit was filled near to bursting by the refreshing aromas and happy sounds of nature. The confined space of the carriage closed in on her, leaving her fidgeting and feeling caged. She wanted out and she wanted out now.
When she thought she could bear the trap no longer, Raven pounded on the ceiling. When their conveyance slowed to a crawl, he opened the door. He spoke over his shoulder as he hopped to the ground. "I'll ready the horses. You change and be quick about it.
Dawn quickly undressed and then attacked the intricate coiffure Sarah insisted she must wear. Once her hair was loosened and pinned into a bun, she slipped on her buckskin shirt, pants, and tall moccasins. She snatched up her tricorn hat and bolted through the open door.
When she emerged from the carriage, she saw that they were in a concealed bend in the road. She waited patiently as Raven conversed with Nigel. Nigel nodded in understanding.. The coachman turned the carriage and headed back toward London. Dawn shoved her tricorn on her head . She pushed a few stray strands of hair up under the brim and then swung easily onto her mount. Without a glance in Raven's direction, she rode away.
***
The tension was so evident in Raven's stiff back that it distracted Dawn from the tranquility of the approaching evening. They had traveled in silence for hours. Raven had pushed their mounts hard as the hour grew late. Those they passed on the road took little notice of a large, dark, modestly dressed man or the boy in buckskins and tricorn who traveled with him.
As dusk drew near, Raven turned from the road and into the forest, leaving Dawn to follow. She watched his back as he led them deeper and deeper into the ever-darkening forest, realizing that he must know the area well. The sound of tree frogs and night insects filled the air. The forest was beautiful, not like her home, but she could see why Raven would come here.
An owl hooted in the distance and a chill ran down her spine. She felt a moment of panic brought on by the bad omen. The warning was clear. This trip would be plagued with danger.
A small clearing opened and Raven stopped. Without speaking, he slipped down from Eagle's back. He took a blanket from his mount and spread it on the ground, then returned to remove the saddle.
Dawn hated the silence. Even arguing would be better than this. "Are there no streams nearby?" she asked as she unsaddled her horse.
"We'll come to a stream by mid-morning. We have enough water to share with the horses tonight."
There had been no emotion in his voice when he answered her. She set about to gather kindling for a fire. "There was a stream not far back. Why didn't we stop there?" she questioned softly.
Raven walked over and took the small bundle of sticks from her. "Because I didn't want to find you naked in the morning. This is not your homeland. There are too many travelers in this land, not to mention the thieves who roam the area."
"I'm not afraid," she snapped as the tenuous hold on her temper failed. "And you are not going to make me afraid."
Raven dumped the sticks and squatted down and began to arrange them for the fire. "I know you're not afraid," he mumbled in a tired tone. "If I hadn't noticed on my own that Lady Montgomery was truly ill, would you have told me of the deceit?"
"That question makes no sense." Dawn dug the toe of her moccasin into the dirt. "She is sick, you know it, and we are going after the herbs she needs to make her better."
"Damn it, Dawn. You know what I mean. The issue here is deceit. Walk around it any way you want, it still comes out the same. You have been less than totally honest with me."
He looked up and their eyes met briefly before she crossed her arms and looked away. He was hurt. That was why he hadn't spoken to her all day. Her throat worked in an effort to swallow. She wasn't here to hurt him. By the Great Spirit, she loved him more than life.
Raven stood. "There," he growled as he pointed at the ground. "You start the fire, I'll tend to the horses".
She watched Raven walk away. It seemed as if an invisible cord that stretched between them tugged at her. She put her hand to her belly and drew her fist tight. Someday, she promised herself, they would hold each other in passion. Someday, they would run together, laugh together, and have a son together. She knew this thing to be true. Hadn't the Great Spirit revealed it to her? Only because of her faith in this belief could she pay the price. Only for Raven and what they would have together in their future, could she give up her mountain home and her people.
She squatted down and pulled a flint from a pouch she wore about her neck. Striking the flint, she bent low and blew gently on the infant flame, feeding it tenderly until a small blaze danced among the twigs.
Soon the flame flared nicely and she looked up. Raven had just finished with his task of bedding down their mounts. He gently stroked the muzzle of each horse before he felt her eyes on him and turned to her.
Dawn took a deep breath. She had stalled as long as he would allow. He expected an answer.
"What deceit?" she asked. "I have not lied to you."
"Have not lied to me?" Raven came forward in quick steps to stand over her. "Did I hear you right? Did you just say you have not lied to me?"
Dawn dropped her head. "I only lied to you once and that was wrong. I'm sorry."
"What about your trips to the dock? Was that not a major bit of deception on your part?"
Dawn stood and stiffened her back. "I didn't lie to you about that. I just didn't tell you what I planned." She turned her back to him and moved a step away.
"Deceit is deceit, Dawn. You know that."
She whirled about. "You say I have deceived you. How? I told you why I was here when we were riding in the park. I told you I would do everything in my power to find out what you would not tell me. My path is clear to me and I revealed that path to you."
She stood proudly before him. "I am a warrior like my mother." She pounded a finger to her chest. "I have prayed to the Great Spirit for guidance. I have visited the Sweat Lodge. I am not afraid to walk the path." Stiffening her spine, she recited, "A warrior must be ruthless, without doubt, without worry, to follow the path. " Her quavering voice lowered in tone as her eyes bore unblinking into his. "And I tell you, Raven, I will follow my path."
Raven shook his head. "You say you're a warrior, like your mother. Well, you have a long way to go for that to be true. New Moon would never frighten two old ladies."
His accusation caused her to inhale in surprise. "First you fall into a Death Sleep," he continued in an angry tone. "Then all that talk about the Blood Cry. That's right, Marguerite told me all about your little talk."
Defeat pressed on her. How could he allow Marguerite’s words to cloud his thinking? Dawn refused to let him see the pain his words had caused.
Raven ran his fingers through his hair in his struggle for control. "You stripped naked in the garden, Dawn! And then that escapade in the kitchen. I believe Marguerite is right. You should be sent home to save Lady Montgomery and Lady Gaylord from further stress. You need to stalk yourself, Dawn. Walk the path and find yourself. I have a path of my own and I will walk it."
"Yes, you have a pat
h," she flung at him before he could walk away. "But have you found it? You are angry and confused. To be controlled by your anger is not good. You are not balanced with the Great Spirit, Raven Who Flies To Meet The Clouds."
He stared at her.
She pointed at the ground. "It is time you brought your feet to Mother Earth and let Mother Earth center you. It is time to bare your feet and dance. It is time you stalked yourself."
Raven turned on his heel and stomped off, leaving Dawn alone and frustrated. She folded her arms across her chest and stared into the flames.
Chapter Sixteen
Raven patted Eagle's neck. Dawn hadn't spoken all morning. She had worked in silence as she gathered her gear, then in Cherokee fashion, returned their camp to nature. Only the most experienced of trackers would detect that anyone had camped there.
He would have told her that precaution was not necessary since she wasn't in her homeland, but he knew it would make no difference to her. Dawn would never dishonor the home of her brothers and sisters in nature by leaving unsightly human clutter.
His stomach grumbled to remind him that they hadn't delayed to prepare a meal. He dug into a small pouch that hung from his saddle and retrieved a tough piece of dried beef. He twisted in his saddle to look back at Dawn. Her stubbornness kept her several paces behind him. At least her appetite had not suffered. He noted with relief when he saw her munching on an apple.
He tore off a piece of the tough beef with his teeth and chewed. In his mind, he rehashed their heated words from the night before. Dawn had spoken the truth about his anger. As hard as he worked to hide it from others, it still controlled him. Today served as a good example. They had ridden for hours without a break. He knew the mounts must be tired. But as usual, he had allowed his anger to drive him. He had allowed it to shape his existence and to dictate his actions. When needed, he would wield it without thought and with the skill of a swordsman on anyone who got in his way. Dawn now bore the weight of his fury. To her credit, she showed no sign of weakening beneath his blows.
