by Keri Peardon
* * *
When Clarice came to the basement Monday afternoon, she looked much less frightened.
Scott smiled up at her. “Hey, there, princess.”
“Hey, Daddy,” she said pleasantly, as she skipped down the stairs.
Scott reached out and took her hand in his. “How was school today?”
“Okay. Brad Johnston blew milk out of his nose at lunch today,” she said with relish.
“I’m sure that was funny, but did you learning anything?”
“I guess,” she said with a shrug.
It suddenly struck Scott that he had turned into his father. His father had asked the same questions, and Scott had had the same sort of memory loss. And that made him laugh.
Clarice looked up at him. “What’s funny?” she demanded.
“I just realized I’m turning into Papa Cunningham.”
“What do you mean?”
“He used to ask me about my day at school, and I couldn’t tell him about it either.”
Clarice smiled a little.
They sat down at the table together and Clarice began to get her homework out of her backpack. But she kept furtively glancing at Scott.
“What?” he asked her.
She looked away. “I… um…. Your teeth look really sharp,” she finally said.
“They are,” he said calmly. He had spent some time thinking about how to handle Clarice’s inevitable questions about his condition, and he decided to be honest and act like it wasn’t any big deal.
“Do… do you bite people with them?” she asked, still not looking at him directly.
Scott hesitated. Telling the truth was one thing, but how much of it was he going to tell? “I have,” he admitted, “but only if the other person wants me to.”
“Why would people want you to?” she asked, looking at him with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.
“Some women find it romantic.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked bluntly.
Scott was taken aback. Did Josie count? They weren’t really dating—more like friends with benefits. Actually, that was more like employee with benefits.
“Um… not really,” he finally said.
“So… you and Mama…?” she whispered, sounding heartbreakingly hopeful.
“No, Clarice,” he said firmly. “Your mother doesn’t like the fact that I’m a vampire, and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t like me for who I am.”
Clarice looked down again. “She… I think she wants you to come home,” she whispered.
“What?” Scott asked, startled.
“I overheard Aunt Janet telling her that she needed to get you back.”
“Oh? Why?” Scott asked, feeling terribly curious. It wasn’t that he wanted Maggie back—not now. He might have been that desperate in the weeks following his divorce, but Josie had changed everything. It wasn’t that he was madly in love with her and wanted to marry her, but he had finally discovered what passionate sex could be like, and—even more importantly—he had found someone who accepted him the way he was. He would have preferred to live alone than go back to Maggie.
But that didn’t mean he wasn’t curious as to why she was starting to reconsider him.
“I… think Mama’s out of money,” Clarice said. “People call our house looking for her. You know… bill collectors.”
Bill collectors? No bill collector had ever called the house when Scott had been there. Of course, he had insisted on living debt-free. Their only bill was the mortgage, and it was modest. There was no reason why Maggie couldn’t pay the bills with her salary. Child support should have been icing on the cake.
“Aunt Janet said you made a lot of money being a lawyer, and that Mama needed to get you back.”
Oh-ho! Gold digging! That was it, was it?
“And… what did your mother say?” Scott asked, trying to keep his voice casual.
“She said she’d try.”
“Mm,” was all Scott replied.
“Are you mad?” Clarice asked anxiously.
“No, I’m not mad,” he said honestly. Actually, it was everything he could do to keep from busting out laughing.
“So… will you come home?” she asked hopefully.
He shook his head. “No, baby. I can’t come home just because your mother wants money. That’s not very fair to me. I want someone who loves me. Can you understand that?”
“Yeah,” she said glumly. Then tears welled up in her eyes.
Scott reached out, touching her arm. “What’s wrong?”
“What… what if they take our house away?”
Scott leaned in, looking at her intently. “Clarice, don’t worry about it. If something happens, you can come live with me. I’m going to get you a bedroom built and you can stay here all you want.”
“But where will Mama go?”
“She can rent an apartment or something. Or she can live with Aunt Janet. She has money, Clarice; she makes a decent income. She may have gotten herself into a bit of trouble with her finances, but she can afford a place to live. Don’t worry about it. The two of you won’t be homeless, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, not sounding convinced at all.
He shook her arm a little to get her attention. “Hey, don’t worry,” he repeated. “I’m not going to be moving back in, but I will still take care of you. And I won’t let anything bad happen to your mother. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said again, but sounding more reassured.
They tackled her homework, then Scott took her out to dinner at the local Chinese buffet. Between bites, Clarice gossiped about everyone in her class.
As Scott pulled up in front of the office again, he noticed Maggie’s car was already there and waiting.
Clarice leaned over, quickly kissing Scott on the cheek. “IloveyouDaddybye.”
“Hey,” he said, as she opened the door to get out of the car, “don’t forget your backpack. It’s still downstairs.”
“Oh, yeah,” she said. Before Scott could get out of the car, she had run into the office.
“Evening,” Scott said to Josie, as he entered the office at a more leisurely pace.
“Evening,” she said, smiling at him brightly. She really was most lovely.
Clarice came flying through a moment later. She gave him a quick hug around the waist, then went flying out the door.
“Bye, I love you,” Scott shouted after her. She waved her hand at him as the door slammed closed behind her.
Scott watched as she ran to get into Maggie’s car. “I wonder why she’s always in such a hurry to leave?” Scott wondered aloud. “She doesn’t seem to mind being with me.”
“If I had my guess, she wants to keep the two of you apart. Maybe she’s afraid the two of you will fight if you get together.”
“I don’t know why; we never fought before. I always gave Maggie everything she wanted; what was there to fight about?”
He sat down on the edge of her desk. “That reminds me, though—do you have a business card for Jim?”
She pointed to the table which divided the two halves of the lobby. “He keeps some of his cards there.”
Scott got up and went to pick one up. “Is that Parenting Plan ready to go?”
“Yours?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah, it’s ready,” she said, pulling the document from the sorting rack on the corner of her desk. “I made the changes to it.”
Scott plucked a pen from the cup on her desk and began to write on the back of Jim’s card. Then he stuck it under the paperclip holding the Parenting Plan together.
Curious, Josie leaned over to look at it.
Jim handles bankruptcies, if you need him. –Scott
“What’s that about?” Josie asked, looking up at him.
He sat down on her desk again. “I found out why I suddenly have visitation with Clarice again.”
“Oh?”
“Maggie is apparently in some financial distress.
Clarice said bill collectors were calling the house.”
“Ah,” Josie said knowingly.
“Her sister, Janet, is apparently telling her she needs to take me back. Visitation with Clarice seems to be the initial peace offering.”
Josie looked at the business card again, then burst out laughing. “I take it this is your answer? File bankruptcy?” She laughed even harder.
“Damn right that’s my answer. She threw me out on the street and took everything I own. And now that she’s in trouble, she wants to get me back so she can take my money. I’m not a fucking credit card she can use whenever she wants to buy something; she can take care of herself like I took care of myself.”
“What about Clarice?” Josie asked, looking up at him seriously.
“If Maggie fucks up, I’ll be in court to get full custody of Clarice so fast it’ll make her head spin. Scott’s the one holding all the cards now.”
He felt a rush of power—almost as powerful as he felt after he beat up Mrs. Stanley’s husband. He was no one’s doormat anymore—least of all Maggie’s.
He looked hard at Josie. “When’s my first appointment?”
She looked at the computer. “You don’t have anyone until nearly dawn.”
He took her by the hand, pulling her from her chair. “Good.”
She laughed. “What are you doing?”
“I have something I need you to do… downstairs,” he said, pulling her with him.
She laughed more. “At least let me lock the front door.”
He sighed dramatically. “If you must.”
She hurried to lock the front door, then turned to look at him with a grin. “Does it turn you on to think about your ex-wife going bankrupt?”
He held out his hand to her. “It’s certainly not a turn off.”
Episode 15: Puppy Love
Scott actually had enough income coming in that he didn’t have to take out a loan to begin building out his basement apartment; he was able to pay for it in installments as the workmen finished sections.
Jim Rutherford was very accommodating—especially considering the fact that the workmen were sawing and hammering all day while he and the other tenants in the building were trying to work. When Scott made his fourth or fifth apology, Jim just laughed it off.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, patting Scott on the shoulder. “After all, I’m the one who’ll end up benefiting from it.”
Which was true enough. Scott had agreed that if he moved out, he would leave all the improvements in place and not seek any reimbursement for them. So Jim was getting an unused space turned into a rentable space for free. And Scott had a place to live rent-free. It was a mutually-beneficial arrangement—even if the construction was a temporary annoyance.
When the workmen were there—on Tuesdays and Wednesdays—Scott went home with Josie and spent the day sleeping (and doing other things). Then on Monday and Thursday evenings he had Clarice. After having such a lonely existence since his divorce, he was tickled pink to have people to spend time with—although it did make his weekends seem extra lonely in comparison.
But Josie—in all her thoughtfulness—fixed that for him.
When Scott arrived at her house Tuesday morning at 4:00 AM, he heard a strange noise on the other side of the door.
“Just a minute, Scott,” she said.
Curious, he waited. A moment later she opened the door. Tucked under one arm was a frantic gold ball of fluff that was trying to lick her, jump down, and run all at the same time.
“You got a dog?” Scott asked.
She held the puppy out to him. “I got you a dog.”
Scott stared at her, not moving. But when the puppy began to wriggle and whine, he reached for it automatically.
“Me?” he asked in disbelief.
“I thought you might like to have a dog again. You were so upset about losing your other one….”
Scott’s ex-wife had kept his dog in the divorce. And when Blondie had to be put down, she didn’t even tell Scott. He still got teary-eyed when he looked at the picture of him, Clarice, and Blondie on the beach together.
“He’s a Golden Retriever,” Josie said. “I would have gotten you a girl, too, but he was free.”
The puppy kept trying to jump up and lick Scott’s face. “Free?” Scott asked, while trying to dodge the well-intentioned attacks on his face.
“One of my best friends breeds Golden Retrievers, and he was the runt. It’s hard to sell a runt, and she was worried that he might die if he stayed in the litter and had to compete against the others, so she said I could have him—for a good cause,” she added with a smile.
Scott hesitated—even as he cuddled the puppy against his chest. He missed not having a dog, but at the same time, he didn’t have a place to keep a dog. He hated the idea of keeping a dog inside all day—especially a dog bred to be outside.
Josie seemed to read his mind. “My backyard is fenced in, so if you want to let him lose to run and be outside, you can just put him back there. There’s a gate on the side; use it any time.
Scott felt himself getting teary-eyed. What kind of vampire was he if he cried constantly over dogs?
“Thanks,” he told Josie.
She smiled at him. “No problem.”
Their beautiful moment was interrupted, however, when Scott felt something warm and wet spread across his shirt. He held the puppy out, away from himself, and it continued to pee a little trickle onto Josie’s doormat.
Josie laughed at the wet spot on the front of his shirt. “He marked you good.”
“I’ve had puppies before—and a kid. It’s certainly not my first time to be pissed on.”
“And you’re a lawyer, so it certainly won’t be your last,” she added with a teasing grin.
Episode 16: Po’Daddy
Clarice was absolutely delighted when she came downstairs the next day and was greeted by yaps.
“A puppy!” she squealed, kneeling down to pick it up.
“That’s a present from Josie for us. She thought we missed Blondie.”
“Yeah, I miss her,” Clarice said, petting the dog’s head. She laughed and dodged away as he tried to lick her face. “What’s her name?”
“It’s a boy. And I think I’m going to call him Po.”
“Po?” She giggled. “That’s a funny name. …But maybe he looks like a Po.”
Clarice had such a hard time concentrating on her homework, she and Scott were still working on it when Josie called down the stairs.
“Maggie’s here.”
Scott leapt to his feet. “Oh, crap.”
Clarice hurriedly put Po down, looking guilty. Together, she and Scott quickly packed up her homework.
“I didn’t know it was so late,” he mumbled. “I completely forgot about your supper.”
“It’s okay; I’m not really hungry.”
Scott pulled out his wallet and handed her five dollars. “You need to eat,” he said firmly. “Have your mother stop and get you something on the way home.”
“Okay,” she said cheerfully, taking the money from him.
He bent down and gave her a quick hug. “Bye, baby. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Daddy.” She reached down to pet the dog. “Bye, Po! I’ll be back in a couple of days, okay?”
Po slobbered on her hand.
Scott followed Clarice upstairs and watched as she went out the door and got into Maggie’s car.
“I hope that doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass,” he muttered to himself.
“What?” Josie asked.
He looked at her, grimacing. “We were so busy playing with the dog, Clarice didn’t get her homework finished and I completely lost track of time and forgot to get her dinner.”
“It’s not like it’s that late,” Josie said, consoling. “She still has time to eat dinner and finish her work.”
“Yeah, but Maggie will probably give me hell for it.”
“If she ever comes in�
��” Josie muttered.
Scott shrugged.
“So, other than him being a bad distraction, how do you like the puppy?”
Scott couldn’t help himself; he smiled. “I like him. Thank you.”
She smiled in return. She really had the most beautiful smile. “Have you thought of a name for him yet?”
“I think ‘Po.’”
“Po? As in Edgar Allen Poe?”
“No, as in broke; lacking funds.”
“Broke?” Josie asked, confused. Then realization dawned on her face. “Oh, po’ as in poor. Like a po’ boy.”
“Exactly.”
She laughed. “Where on earth did you come up with that?”
“I have no idea. I was half-awake this morning, contemplating my poverty, and that just came to mind.”
Someone walked in the front door, interrupting their conversation.
“Evening,” Scott said.
“Evening,” the man said, his eyes darting around nervously. “Is… is this Mr. Cunningham’s office? The vampire lawyer?”
“That’s me,” Scott replied.
Josie glanced at the calendar on her computer. “Are you Mr. Peterson?”
“Yes, I am.”
Josie glanced at Scott. “Mr. Peterson is your 7:30 appointment. Custody.”
“I’m a little early,” Mr. Peterson said apologetically.
“That’s okay. Come on back,” Scott said, gesturing for him to follow.
They walked into Scott’s office, and Scott shut the door behind them. “Have a seat, Mr. Peterson.”
“Thank you,” he said, sitting down. Scott could tell he was nervous. He could also tell he was a vampire. He had that same musty, old basement smell all of them seemed to have. Scott was always paranoid about being stinky—especially as he did live in a musty, old basement—and he wore a little light cologne almost constantly—even though Josie had sniffed him when he wasn’t wearing anything and swore that he didn’t have any smell whatsoever.
“What can I do for you?” Scott asked, walking around his desk to sit down.
“I… was wondering if you could help me with custody. My ex and I’ve been divorced for… about five years, now. We had joint custody of my boy—you know, where we split our time with him; I’d have him one week and she’d have him the other one. But when I became a vampire, she told me I shouldn’t have him. At first I agreed with her, because I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt my kid, you know. But after a while, when things kind of settled down, and I saw I was still pretty normal—I mean, that I could be around people okay—I told her I wanted to go back to having him every other week. And she hemmed and hawed and made excuses, and I’m just tired of it.
“Someone told me that I could go to her house, when it was my turn to pick him up, and if she wouldn’t let me have him, call the police, and they’d come and make her give him to me.”
“Yes, they generally will, so long as you have a copy of the signed Parenting Plan to show them.”
“Well, I thought about doing that, then I thought no, Gary, that ain’t right. I mean, I don’t care if the cops come out and embarrass my wife in front of her neighbors and everything, but I don’t want to embarrass my boy. And I don’t want to traumatize him or anything—having the police come after him. It makes me think of those kids that the State comes and takes away and puts into foster care. That’s got to be so upsetting for a kid. I don’t want him to think that he’s being taken away from his Mama.”
Scott nodded understandingly.
“So I thought I’d try taking her to court and let the judge tell her to do it, or else.”
“Yeah, well, it sounds like a pretty straightforward contempt case, Mr. Peterson. If you have a signed Parenting Plan, it’s valid and there’s really nothing she can do about it. The only way she can change it is if there’s been a material change of circumstances. And even if you are a vampire now, that doesn’t affect your parental rights.”
“So, what will happen? At court, I mean? …Or whatever you have to do.”
“We’ll draft contempt papers and have her served with them. She’ll have thirty days to respond and present a defense or counterclaim.”
“What if she doesn’t?”
“Then we go to court and almost certainly win.”
“What if she answers?”
“Then we still go to court, but the judge will weigh both arguments.”
“Can she get a lawyer?”
“Yes, she can.”
“What will happen then?”
“The same thing, basically.”
“What happens if I do this, but she starts letting me have Jason again? I mean, before we go to court?”
“You can either drop the petition and we don’t go to court, or we can go to court and she can argue that she’s not in contempt. The judge will probably admonish her for not following the Parenting Plan for so long, and will warn her not to do that again. He almost certainly wouldn’t give her jail time—they almost never do that on a first offense.”
“And what about the judges around here? Are they pretty fair to guys like me?”
“Judge Standiff is a vampire. I’ve only been before him a couple of times. He has a reputation for being tough—very no-nonsense—but fair. I think you’ll get a fair shake from him. He can’t very well ding you for being a vampire when he’s a vampire. He should know—the same as the rest of us—that you’re not a danger to your child.”
“You got children, Mr. Cunningham?”
“I have a daughter. My ex took her away from me, too, but I’ve finally managed to finagle some visitation.”
Mr. Peterson smiled. “All that good lawyering, huh?”
“No, actually, I think she’s hurting for money and wants to get on my good side.”
Mr. Peterson looked stunned for a moment, then chuckled, shaking his head. “Sounds like something an ex-wife would do.”
“Sounds like mine, at least.”
“So, how much will this set me back?”
Scott considered it for a moment. “Eight hundred to go to court on the contempt, plus any court costs—although I don’t think there are any to file a contempt petition. On the off chance that something comes up and we end up fighting it out over the Parenting Plan, that’ll be more. But I really don’t think there’s anything she can do about it,” he added.
“Okay.”
“And we’ll ask for attorney’s fees as part of the contempt. If she loses, the judge will almost certainly make her reimburse you.”
Mr. Peterson grinned. “I like that.”
“Do you have any more questions?”
“Do I pay you now, or…?”
Scott stood up. “You can pay my secretary and give her your information—she has some form she has people fill out. And then we can get started on it tonight.”
Mr. Peterson stood and stuck out his hand. “You sure have been helpful, Mr. Cunningham—answering all my questions and all that.”
Scott shook his hand. “That’s what I’m here for.”
“I knew if anyone could help me, it’d be you.”
“I will certainly do my very best. I know what it’s like to have your child taken away.”
Episode 17: It’s a Date
“Sorry, I’m late,” Josie said, as she breezed into the office Friday evening, tossing her pocketbook carelessly into her desk drawer and slamming the drawer shut with her foot.
“That’s alright,” Scott said, distracted by the pile of work Josie had left in his inbox the previous day. “No one’s coming in until seven anyways.”
Josie flopped down into her desk chair with a tired, half-exasperated sigh.
Scott glanced at her and perked a brow. “Oversleep?”
“No, I had a dinner date. I thought I was never going to get away. It was like trying to pull off a damn octopus.”
Scott was momentarily shocked. “A… dinner date?” he stammered.
She held up a hand. “My mother’s doing, I assure you. She’s been nagging me to go out for months, and I just couldn’t take it anymore; she beat me down.”
“So… who was it with?” He hoped he sounded casual.
“The son of one of her friends from mahjong club. That’s what middle-aged Jewish women do when they get together—they Yente. They play mahjong and drink wine and pair up their kids.”
“But… it didn’t go well?” Damnit, that sounded hopeful.
She looked up at him. “Complete and total dweeb. And a letch to boot.”
Keep the smile off the face. Keep the smile off the face.
He almost managed it, but a small one snuck on there anyways. “I guess that’s why he needs his mother to get him a date.”
Josie
