“No. I won’t do it. I thought you understood, Meg.”
“I did. I understood for over a year. But these secrets, they’re eating me up and I want to live, Zac. I want to go out there and live my life and love like girls my age should. It’s up to you what you do, Zac. And either way, I’ll understand. But you need to understand me. Just because it’s right for you, doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.”
Rising up on her tiptoes, she presses a kiss to my cheek and I close my eyes, allowing a single tear to drop from each of my eyes. Then she walks out and kneels in front of the kids who are standing with Evie, looking worried, and I have to use all of my strength not to lose it completely when she kneels down and explains that she’s leaving for a while.
“But why, Meg?” Tash cries. “Who’s gonna do my hair the way I like it if you’re not here.”
“Zac knows how to do it just fine. You’ll be ok.”
“But we don’t want you to go,” Rob cries as well. I can hear them sniffling from their tears.
“I’ll still come and see you,” Meg assures him. “I couldn’t leave you all forever. I just won’t be in the house anymore.”
“Don’t lie. You won’t be back! Why does everyone have to leave?!” Will shouts, then he spins and runs to his room, slamming the door so hard that one of the paintings falls off the wall.
“Will,” Meg calls out, moving to go after him. But I stop her.
“You’ll just make it worse. You want to leave. Go. I’ll fix this by myself.”
She looks back at me, pressing her lips together as her eyes swim with tears.
“Go, Meg,” I tell her sternly then she nods and turns toward the stairs and I hear her burst into tears about half way down. My heart tells me to go after her and tell her it’s ok. She’s my sister and hearing her upset is hard for me. But in my mind, I’m too angry. She’s deserting us when we need her most.
The kids fall against me and cry into my legs, then I crouch down and scoop them in my arms, telling them that it’s going to be ok. We’ll get by. We always do.
“Zac, I…” Evie starts, her voice emotional from witnessing the whole event.
I stand up and wipe at my eyes, taking a deep breath as I meet her eyes and force a smile. “I guess that ruined the moment,” I say in an attempt at a joke. And she shakes her head, her eyes also brimming with tears.
“No. Our moments have only just begun.”
I take her hand and give it a squeeze before I move past her and go into the boys’ room where Will is lying facedown on his bed, crying into the pillow. The moment I sit on the bed beside him he spins around and wraps his arms around my waist and cries into my chest.
“Why is she doing this?” he wails, and I have to swallow hard to keep from crying again. “Why can’t she just be happy that we don’t get hit anymore?”
Smoothing my hands over his dark hair, I press a kiss to the crown of his head and wrap my arms around him too as I try to think of a reason that he’ll understand. “She’s just growing up, buddy. When you’re her age, you’ll probably want to move out of home too.”
“No. I won’t,” he argues. “I’ll stay here with you forever. I’m never leaving you.”
I wrap my arms just a little tighter and kiss his head again. “I’ll never leave you either.”
Twenty-Four
Evie
While Zac is in with Will, I take Tash and Rob downstairs and ask them if they have any ice cream.
“Yeah, there’s some in the freezer. But Zac says we can only have it if we eat all our dinner,” Tash tells me.
“Well, in my house, if we’re really sad about something, we’re allowed to have ice cream as a snack to help make us feel better. Do you want to give it a try and see if it helps?” I ask.
“Maybe you should ask, Zac,” Rob says, drawing out the word ‘maybe’ as if he’s really not sure and is only saying it because he doesn’t want to do the wrong thing.
I lean down so I’m eye level with him and lower my voice conspiratorially. “How about you let me talk to Zac about it, ok? I promise he won’t mind if it’s just this once.”
“I think it’s a great idea. I’m very sad right now and ice cream always makes me happy,” Tash says, already sitting at the table. “Can we take a bowl up for Will? We can’t eat in our room unless we’re sick. But I think his heart is sick so that counts.”
“Sure. We can probably do that,” I smile over at her as I walk over to their freezer and remove the tub of vanilla ice cream.
“The bowls are up there,” Rob says, pointing to the cupboard to my right.
“Spoons in the drawer?” I check, knowing that they just met me and may not appreciate me opening and closing them without checking first.
They both nod.
After collecting everything I need, I place three bowls on the table in front of them and spoon a small amount of ice cream into each of them.
“Do you think we could maybe have chocolate sauce too?” Rob asks after I place their bowls in front of them. “It’s in the cupboard on the top shelf where we can’t reach.”
Smiling, I nod. “Sure. Do you think Will wants it too?”
“Yeah, it’s his favourite.”
Finishing up, I leave them to eat their ice cream and take the third bowl upstairs, finding Zac and Will sitting on the edge of the little boy’s bed with Zac holding Will as he cries out his disappointment in Meg leaving.
The floor creeks beneath my foot as I approach and Zac looks up, his eyes red-rimmed with emotion as well. I feel as though I shouldn’t be here at this emotional time, but at the same time, I feel sure that he needs me here right now. He needs someone to be strong for him, and to care for him.
“I made some ice cream for the kids. I thought it might help.”
“You want some ice cream, buddy?” he asks Will, who lifts his little face and looks at the bowl over Zac’s shoulder and I can see how puffy his eyes are from his upset.
He nods.
“Ok. Why don’t you take it downstairs with the others?”
Slowly sliding off Zac’s lap, he walks over to me and takes the bowl I offer, whispering a thank you as he carefully walks with it down the stairs. Once he’s out of sight, I move over to Zac and place my hand on his shoulder.
“Are you ok?” I whisper.
He shakes his head forlornly. “No. I’m not. What am I supposed to do?” he asks, then his voice cracks and before I know it, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against him, bursting into tears against my stomach, his shoulders bouncing as all of the stress and worry he’s carrying with him come pouring out of him.
My heart breaks for him. It breaks for all of them. I mean, he’s trying so hard to keep them together. He’s taken so much on top of his young shoulders and still, things aren’t going his way.
It makes me feel awful for the way I’ve been behaving. I knew something was going on but I insisted on being around him even though he warned me to stay away. I feel as though what’s happening between us has been the catalyst of Meg’s choice to leave. Although, if she’s anything like me, maybe that was going to happen anyway. Maybe she was always going to fight Zac so she could be with Mr Sparks…
I slide my fingers through his hair and down his back, trying to soothe him and assure him that everything will work out for the best. And at the same time I’m thinking about what a bitch I’ve been to my own family. Now that I’m witnessing the aftermath of what happens when someone leaves in anger, I’m regretting the way I left my family today. I’m regretting that I threatened to move out of home, and I’m regretting all of my behaviour towards my parents. I’ve been expecting them to treat me like an adult when all I’ve been doing is running around and acting like a spoilt kid. I’ve been blessed with parents who love and support me, and only want what they think is best. I have appreciate that. I have to be grateful for the love in my house because the alternative… well… it’s soul destroying.
Slowly, I kne
el down in front of him, leaning down so I can see into his face. He’s hiding it, like he doesn’t want me to see the real evidence of his tears. But I reach up and wipe over his cheeks with my hands and lift his head so he’s looking at me.
“You’re wrong, you know. I did see you at school. I thought you were the most beautiful boy I’d ever laid my eyes on. I was just a bit too caught up in my own game of self-pity to notice that you saw me too. But now, I see you, Zac. I see you and I see your heart. You are so strong. Stronger than any one man needs to be and you use your strength to protect the ones you love in a way I’ve only ever seen once before. You will get through this. It might seem overwhelming right now, but you’ll get through this. And you won’t have to do it alone. I’ll help you, Zac. I’m not going to be a moment here and a moment there. I’m going to be here for you for every moment you need. Good or bad. Because, while you’re strong and you’re more capable than any other eighteen year old I know, you can’t do this on your own. You need someone to care about you too. And I care about you Zac. So. Much.”
Then I press my lips against his, kissing him slowly and gently, sealing my promise to stand by him. I want to be this man’s strength as much as I’m his weakness. I need to fight for him like he fights for everyone else. And I can’t let anyone stand in my way, which means I need to talk to my dad like the adult I’m supposed to be and make him understand. Because if anyone is capable of understanding the need to protect the ones you love, it’s him. I have to trust in that.
Twenty-Five
Zac
Evie leaves about an hour later, and as much as I want her to stay by my side and never leave again, I know that I need to spend some time on my own with the kids and do some damage control. They need to see that I’m ok and having Evie here will just be confusing for them.
I know I should feel really embarrassed for crying like a fucking baby when Evie was here, but honestly, I don’t. I feel as though letting her into my world and having her understand has lifted this massive weight off my shoulders. Maybe I should feel bad for burdening her with my troubles, but just having someone care about me enough to listen and understand means the world to me.
Now I just have to work out what the hell I’m going to tell Nelson about training. I guess I could just say nothing and pretend that I’m going. But I can’t imagine a guy like Harry is going to simply trust me without checking up on me. He sees me as an investment, after all.
Or, I could keep showing up. I could keep going to Fighting Fit until Damien Rhodes sees that I’m serious about his daughter and serious about training. I could plead with him and promise that I’ll get out of the Rumble circuit if he can just help me to win it. I’ll do whatever it takes to win.
The man went to prison because he took down an entire bar full of people and didn’t get a mark on him. It’s why everyone fears him and all the Rhodes kids. Unless they’re into fighting and can respect what they’re able to do, they fear it. I don’t fear anyone who fights better than me. Inside, I crave knowledge and I will work my arse off to better myself.
I need to make Damien understand that fighting is all I know. And if I can just get through the circuit, then I’ll have enough money to cover us for long enough so I can go straight and fight in sanctioned matches. Maybe that’s the way around it.
Once I have the kids calm and settled in bed, I put in a call to Jason who, when he answers, is yelling. It sounds like he’s at a bar.
“Bro, what’s up?” he yells into the handset.
“I need you here tomorrow morning,” I tell him, as loud as I can without waking the kids up.
“What? I can’t hear you. Speak up.”
“I said, I need you here tomorrow morning.”
“Hang on, bro, I’ll go outside, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”
I wait a moment while I hear him yell something at someone else then the rustling of his phone against his shirt as he moves away and the noise fades into the background.
“Ok. I can hear now. What’s up?”
“Where the hell are you? It’s Sunday.”
“Every day can be a party day, bro, you just don’t know that because you’re too busy being a virgin daddy.”
“Fuck off, mate. Don’t be a dick.”
“Nah, just kidding. You know I think you’re a better man than I am.”
“Sure. Listen, I need you here in the morning.”
“Training? I thought you had a new trainer.”
“Yeah. But I need someone to help with the kids before they go to school. Meg took off and…” I stop there, pressing my palm against my eye socket because just the thought of her leaving and where she is gives me a headache.
“Meg took off? Holy shit. What happened?”
“Long story. But can you do it? They can get themselves ready but I just need someone there to make sure they eat and get them off to school so I can train.”
“Sure, bro. Whatever you need. What time?”
“Seven-thirty.”
“Alright,” he says with a little trepidation in his tone. “I’ll make this my last drink and head home. See you tomorrow.”
“Thanks, mate.”
“No worries. You know I’ve got your back.”
Twenty-Six
Evie
I return home while dinner is being prepared after having stormed out of the house just before lunchtime. When I walk in, I’m welcomed as the daughter they love. There’s an underlying animosity, sure. But there’s also the knowledge that we all care enough to sit down and talk this through. That we love each other enough to compromise.
That’s a hell of a lot more than Zac has ever had, and just looking around at our home and my family, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Like my sister Rose, there were so many times when I thought being born a Rhodes was the worst thing that could have happened in my life. When really, it was the best, because I know that the love in this family isn’t going anywhere, no matter what happens.
I walk over to my mum, who is placing a stack of plates on the table for the younger ones to place about, and as she turns to me, I envelop her in my arms and just hold her for a moment, breathing in her comforting scent that has been there for me all my life. I feel my eyes begin to burn, my heart already weeping for Zac because he doesn’t have this. He doesn’t have anyone.
“Hey, hey? What’s happened honey?” she coos, stroking my back and patting my hair.
I shake my head, “I’m fine. I just got a dose of reality, that’s all.”
Dad walks over and places his hand gently on the top of my head then I move from mum’s arms to his. “I’m sorry for the way I behaved last night, dad. I shouldn’t have said I was going to move out.”
“Can you guys give us a minute? Dinner won’t be long,” mum asks my siblings who are milling around waiting to eat or to find out what’s going on with me.
“Did he hurt you?” Dad bristles immediately and I shake my head again.
“No, he would never hurt me, dad. He’s nothing but kind and, if anything, he’s been trying to protect me. I’ve just been too headstrong to listen. And too selfish to put someone else before myself.”
“Then what happened? Why are you so upset?”
“I’m not upset. I just realised how lucky I am. And I wanted to say sorry for being such a spoilt brat, and for putting you in the position that that Nelson guy could cause you trouble.”
“You leave him to me, alright? I know Harry Nelson from way back, and if there’s a problem, he can talk to me about it.”
“And what about your friend Zac? What’s going on there?” Mum asks.
“Zac,” I sigh, stepping out of the comfort of their arms so I can talk to them properly. “Well, that’s what I need to talk to you about. I know you don’t want me to see him because you think he’s bad news. And I get that you’re just looking out for me but I can’t walk away from him. I really don’t think I have that ability. And of all the people in the world, I would think t
hat you two should be able to understand that. Wasn’t mum only eighteen when you two got together? And didn’t grandad object?”
“Yes, but that was different,” mum argues.
“How was it different? You yourself told me dad used to street fight for money.”
Dad raises his eyebrows at mum who pulls at her lip, giving him an apologetic look.
“And Zac isn’t doing it for the fun of the hustle, he’s doing it because he genuinely needs the money to help his family.”
“It doesn’t matter why he’s doing it, Yvonne,” Dad says. “Our problem is with you getting involved and ruining your life over a boy. You haven’t even gotten into university yet, you have your whole life ahead of you right now.”
“Do you think mum ruined her life over you? Isn’t this your happy ever after?”
“Yes it is. But we had to fight tooth and nail to get to it. And we almost destroyed each other in the process.”
“But you didn’t. You fought for each other – you fought for love. And you won. Can’t you at least trust me enough to do the same? I’m trying to be mature here. I know that I live under your roof, and I still rely on you for financial support. I get that, and if you want me to get a job or work more at the gym or even cleaning up at the tattoo studio, then I will. But please, don’t make me choose. Because I won’t do it.”
“Do you love him?” Mum asks.
“I don’t know. Maybe. All I know is that we connect, more than anyone I ever known, and if I don’t find out it what that connection means, then I’ll be forever feeling like I missed out on this great love. You see, I’ve watched you two all these years and I never thought it would be possible to find someone who made me as happy as you two make each other. What if Zac is that for me? What if he’s it and because he’s struggling, I turn my back and I miss it? What would have happened if mum had turned her back on you dad?”
Drawn to Fight: Zac & Evie Page 14
