And look where that got us. Broken. Alone. Damaged.
Thirty-Nine
Evie
Standing behind reception, I pretend I’m busy sifting through paperwork as I keep my eye on the office door, where dad is inside talking to Harry Nelson. He’s been here a lot lately, angry that Zac isn’t training. I wonder if they’ve realised he’s now home, or if perhaps he’s taken off again.
My heart sinks at the latter thought, as I’d really hoped that when I found him at his house, that he’d follow me out or come to the gym or my house to find me and work things out. I’d hoped he’d at least call me and talk to me on the phone. He doesn’t have to say he loves me, I know that’s hard for him. But if he could just show me that he still cares, then each day wouldn’t feel like such a fight to get through.
“Do you know what they’re saying?” I ask grandad, as he walks from the change rooms wearing a suit and carrying his gym bag by his side.
“I haven’t got a clue. But I don’t suspect it’s good.”
“Where are you off to today?” I ask, taking in his appearance with surprise, because he normally lives in sweatpants and t-shirts.
“Oh, your nan and I have this thing at the courthouse. It’s nothing to worry about. We shouldn’t be long. Tell your dad I had to go though,” he says, kissing me on my cheek before he heads out the glass door.
“Sure,” I call after him. “And good luck.”
About ten minutes later, Harry Nelson walks out of the office and straight out the door. He doesn’t look happy.
“What was that about?” I ask dad as he walks over to me. He wears his usual linen, karate style pants and a fitted black singlet. It shows off all of the artwork on both of his arms and part of his chest and back pieces. I can see the top of my mother’s name ‘Henrietta’ as it curves the top of his left pec.
Rubbing his hands together, he shakes his head and watches through the door as Nelson drives away.
“He’s just pissed that Zac took off after that fight. There’s only a week until the final and if he doesn’t show…”
“Nelson’s going to be out to get him.”
“Yeah,” he nods gravely.
“Is there anything we can do?”
“Of course there is. He says he’ll wave Zac’s debt if I do the circuit next year, which isn’t going to happen so don’t even contemplate that. Or, we get Zac back here, and talk some sense into him.”
“He’s given up, dad. He was fighting for the kids, and with them gone, his fight is gone.”
“Well, he doesn’t want to piss off Nelson. He’s nice enough when you’re doing what he wants but…”
“I don’t know what to do,” I shrug.
He thinks for a moment then raps his knuckles on the counter twice and begins to walk toward the front door. “Tell your mother I had to go out. Oh, and call Custom Flesh for me and get them to rebook my client.”
“What? Why?”
“Just do it.” He lifts his arm and waves over his shoulder as he strides out through the doors and I wonder how many other messages I’m going to have to pass on before the day is out.
Forty
Zac
The front door rattles on its hinges as a thumping sound forces me up. I jump off the couch, my feet hitting beer bottles and sending them scattering noisily about the floor. I stumble a little, heading over to the window to look outside. It’s Damien.
Shit.
“Open the door, Zac. You’re not just messing your life up now. You’re messing up mine, and you’re messing up my daughter’s. Be a fucking man and open the goddamned door.”
“I’m done, Damien. I’m not fighting anymore.”
“I don’t give a fuck, kid. You got me mixed up in this. You got my daughter mixed up in it. You’re going to see it through. Harry wants the return on his investment. If he doesn’t get it from you, he’ll take it from me or from Evie, just to hurt you. And I can’t stop a guy like that without having to do something that would send me back to prison and destroy my family. Is that what you want, Zac? Is that the kind of man you are? Is my daughter seriously in love with the kind of man who’ll let others pay for his mess up?”
I open the door, my voice pleading. “Why would I want that?”
“Because you’re a fucking coward,” he growls, pushing me in the chest.
I take a step back, not expecting the attack and feeling a little unsteady on my feet still.
“Fight me,” he growls, shoving me again. This time, I push his hands away. But he’s faster than me and he pushes again, this time sending me falling backward onto my arse.
“Fucking fight me!” he yells.
“What is wrong with you?” I yell, scrambling backward before he can kick me while I’m down.
“I’m waking you the fuck up. You’re so busy feeling sorry for yourself that you don’t see that there are people out there who care about you. People out there who are willing to go the extra mile to help you.”
“I don’t have anyone!” I yell. “They’re all gone. Every single one of them, gone or taken.”
“What about Yvonne? Did she go or did you force her away? That girl loves you. And if you love her back, even a little bit, then you’ll get down to that gym in the morning and you’ll train your arse off to win this fucking tournament and get us all out of the pit you dragged us in to.”
“I don’t deserve her,” I state, standing back, readying myself in case he attacks again.
“No. You don’t. But there’s nothing that says you can’t spend your life using that fight in you to earn her and keep her. So get up. Stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself and be the man she sees inside you, Zac. Believe me, if she’s anything like her mother, you’ll never live another day if she’s not in your life. These women, they’re everything to guys like us. Don’t throw that away because you’re angry at the world. She is your world, mate. Simple as that.”
He turns and walks out, slamming the door behind him and leaving me alone to contemplate what he just said, and all I can think is that he’s right. Every word he said is right.
It’s time to fight.
Forty-One
Evie
“Of course, here’s a list of all the classes we offer. The ones in green are all fitness based and the ones in red are martial arts based,” I inform one of our new members early the next morning as I hand over the printed piece of paper.
“And the purple ones?”
“They’re recovery classes and focus on yoga based stretching and strengthening your core. We also offer…” I stop midsentence, my mouth falling open as the front door opens and he’s there.
He smiles at me. I’ve seen it before; it’s that grin that says he knows he’s messed up and it says that I’m the only one he wants to see. He looks tired but better than he did the last time I saw him. His wounds are healed and there’s a bandage wrapped around his forearm where his stepfather cut him.
“Hey,” he says as he walks past wearing a pair of black track pants and a dark green muscle top that looks a little faded from the sun. My eyes track his movement as he heads to the dojo, his gym bag over his shoulder, which he lowers when he sees my father.
They stand in front of each other for a moment, before dad gives him a nod and they clap hands like old friends then disappear inside.
“He a friend of yours?” the lady asks, her brow raised as she watches me stare after him.
“Um…yeah. Well, he was anyway.” I clear my throat and smile at her, looking at the paper we hold between us and trying to remember what I was telling her.
“If it means anything, friends don’t normally look at each other that way.” My cheeks heat with embarrassment as I meet her knowing grin. She places her hand on my arm for a moment and gives me a wink. “We all fall for the bad boy once in our lives.”
“What if you don’t want to fall for anyone else?”
She shrugs. “I don’t have the answer to that one.” Then she pulls the gym sch
edule from between my fingers and folds it in half. “Thanks for the info. I’ll see you around. Good luck with your boy.”
Lifting my hand in a wave, I watch her walk out then look back over to the door of the dojo, hope swelling my heart and pulling at my mind. I spend a good hour stuffing around in the gym, trying to occupy myself until Zac is finished training. I need to talk to him.
The minutes tick on like hours, and no matter how many people I help or how many areas of the gym I tidy up it still feels like I’m waiting all day. Then finally, blissfully, the door opens and I stop what I’m doing and turn to face it with my heart hammering in my ears.
I expect Zac but instead, it’s my dad who exits, and I wonder if I missed it. If in my quest to distract myself, I distracted myself from Zac leaving.
“He’s still in there,” Dad tells me, as if reading my exact thoughts.
“Can I…I mean, does he…” I stutter, wanting so much to go to him but feeling unsure of what I should do.
Dad smiles and tilts his head toward the door. “Go in.”
Swallowing hard, I make my feet transport me to the dojo and walk inside, jumping a little when I hear the door click shut behind me and turn to see my dad walking away through the little window in the centre.
I turn back, seeing Zac at the far end of the room, practising on the training dummies, his breath coming out in controlled bursts as he lands his blows precisely.
“You’re back,” I state, causing him to stop mid-hit and turn to face me. “Does this mean…?”
“That I’m fighting next week? Yeah.”
We stand and stare at each other for a moment and I have to force myself to stay calm or I’m never going to get any answers.
“I see. So then what happens?”
“If I win, I get an invite to some amateur league. If I lose, Nelson expects me to fight again next season.”
“So…you came back for the fight?” I ask carefully.
“Not just the fight,” he says quietly, meeting my eyes. Although, this time, he isn’t grinning, he’s looking at me with a sadness that pulls at my heart. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I shouldn’t have run away.”
I step toward him. Shaking my head. “I don’t care that you ran. I care that you didn’t come back.”
He looks down at his hands for a moment before returning his eyes to mine. “I care that I ran, Evie. I ran, and I left you with the one man who was my worst nightmare for most of my teenage life. I left you alone with him, after he tried to attack me with a knife - after I tried to end him. I left you in danger.”
“I’ve had more training than you have, Zac. I wasn’t in danger. He didn’t do anything. I made him leave.”
He steps toward me, his hands lifting and brushing so lightly against my cheek, that first touch feeling like I’m dizzy from climbing up too high. “Do you know what I see when I close my eyes, Evie? I see you. I see you screaming because you thought I was going to kill him. And I was. I admit that in that moment, I wanted nothing more.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Zac,” I argue.
“I failed you. I failed the kids. I failed Meg. I failed myself. I was supposed to take care of you all and instead, you had to take care of me. You had to save me.”
I reach up, and take a hold of his face, making sure he’s looking right into my eyes as I respond. “You think you failed? You didn’t fail at all. There’s no failure in receiving help. There’s no failure in admitting a wrong or losing control. If anything, you let your pride get in the way of what was important. You let it blind you to the fact that you and I are one. From the moment we connected out at Londonderry, we joined somehow, and from every moment since then, nothing works unless we’re together. The world doesn’t turn and the sun doesn’t shine. Not for me. Not without you. You aren’t supposed to take care of me, Zac. We’re supposed to take care of each other.”
He searches my eyes as if he’s desperate to believe me but unsure if I speak the truth, unsure of his ability to let go of his need to control.
“I love you, Zac. I love you. More than words. More than life. When you kissed me, I cracked open and became one with you. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel it too because I feel the desperation inside you. I can feel how badly you want to kiss me right now. How badly you want to take me to your bed. Take me home, Zac. Take me back to where I belong. Back with you.”
Without a moment’s more hesitation, his arms are around me and his mouth is on mine, his tongue demanding entry as he reclaims me as his own in a kiss so deep and powerful that it leaves me shaking and hanging on to him so I don’t fall.
“I love you, Evie.” He murmurs those words against my mouth as he comes up for air, causing my heart to jump gleefully at the sound. “I love you so fucking much. But I can’t. Not until this is over. Not until I’ve won this fight and gotten us all out of this mess. I fucked up getting involved with you so soon. I lost Meg. I lost the kids and because of that, the only thing left for Nelson to hold over me is you. Stay away from me, Evie. I love you. But please, stay away. I’m bad news.” Then he kisses me on the forehead and turns to walk away.
Forty-Two
Zac
“No,” Evie says, her voice sounding so hurt that I can feel my shitty heart crack open and bleed for the pain I’m causing her.
I don’t turn back. I can’t. Instead, I walk away from her.
“No,” she says again, and I can hear the tears. Fuck I hate myself.
I lean forward to pick up my bag and before I know what’s happening, she grabs a hold of my arm with one hand then wraps her other arm around my neck, digging her elbow into my shoulder to pull me back so I fall against the mat where she kneels, one knee in my chest and the other beneath my elbow. She’s quick and efficient and the whole move takes only a second to have me locked in a position that if I do anything, she could snap my arm.
She looks down at me and applies a small amount of pressure to my arm, forcing it to strain against an unnatural bend.
“Let’s make something very clear,” she growls at me through clenched teeth. “I. Don’t. Need. Your Protection. I can look after myself. I chose to get involved with the Rumble Circuit. I chose to drag my father into it. I chose to pursue you. I. Chose. This. You don’t get to tell me that we can only be together if you win. That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I chose this. I chose you! And I will be damned if you push me away again. I will be damned if I’m going to let you act like knowing you could get me hurt. News Flash, Zac – I know a bit about martial arts too. My father’s name strikes fear into a fuckload of people. And guess what? I can fight. Now, it’s up to you whether you’re going to fuck this up, Zac. But I’m telling you now - you don’t get to walk away from me again. Not if you actually want to come back.”
She releases me and stands up, walking straight out of the room with her head held high and for a moment, I just watch her, my head swimming with reasons to chase her and reasons to let her go.
In the end, a different voice of reason prevails. “Why are you still sitting there? Go after her.” Barry, Evie’s grandfather asks incredulously. My head snaps around to look at him. I’d forgotten he was in here. After training, he was in the storeroom, putting away some of the training mats.
“You heard all that?”
“Yeah, I heard all that. And she’s right. She can look after herself. So either go after her, or stay. But if you stay, and you hurt that girl’s heart again, then you will never get another chance. Both her father and I will make sure of that.”
His words spur me on, making it easy for me to let go of the doubt and make a choice, or risk losing her forever. Giving him a nod of thanks, I pick up my bag and walk out the door.
In the main area of the gym, Evie is standing with Damien beside the reception desk, her hands on her hips as she talks to him in a hushed tone. She shakes her head, the soft curls around her face coming to life with her movement.
My stomach tightens as I approac
h, and I take a deep breath, hoping I’m doing the right thing. I hope I’m not fucking this up for the both of us.
She stops talking, a hurt look in her eyes as she watches me, and at first, I don’t make eye contact. Then, just as she thinks I’m about to walk straight by, I drop down, my shoulder at her waist as I grab a hold of her thighs and fling her over my shoulder.
“What are you doing?” she shrieks, struggling against my hold but unable to dislodge the grip I have on her.
“Sorry, Sensei Damien. But I need to steal your daughter and spend a really long time apologising for being an arse.”
He looks at us and shakes his head, although I see a touch of amusement in his eyes. “Just be ready for training tomorrow morning. If you’re too tired, I’ll make you work twice as hard.”
“Duly noted,” I grin.
“Make it hard anyway, just because he’s an arse,” Evie yells, from over my shoulder.
And as I turn and walk out the door I quietly growl, “It’s already hard, babe. In fact, it’s fucking throbbing.”
Then suddenly, she stops struggling.
***
“Where were you when you were gone?” Evie asks quietly, lying on her stomach in bed beside me later that night. We’ve been in here all day, reclaiming each other and making up for lost time. She looks so beautiful with her hair out and sprawled over the pillow and her skin is so soft beneath my fingertips.
“I was just bumming around in the city. Drinking. Fighting. Getting into trouble.”
“Where there any…” she presses her lips together, wanting to ask the question as much as she doesn’t. But I know what it is so I answer anyway.
“No. There’ll never be anyone for me but you.”
She closes her eyes and lets out a grateful sigh. “I missed you,” she whispers.
“I missed you too.” I lean down and press a kiss to her shoulder, continuing to run my fingertips up and down her back.
“Don’t ever leave me again, Zac. I don’t think I’d survive losing you.”
I kiss her again. “I promise. You’re my world. I exist only in you.”
Drawn to Fight: Zac & Evie Page 21
