“There was what, Snow?”
“It was almost like we were cute or something. The way someone would be impressed with a child who was excelling, or a very clever animal. It's not that he saw us as lesser, it was that he saw us as...”
“Primitive.” Charlie finished the thought.
“Yes, exactly!”
Charlie excused himself, returning to the ship to gather the things we had left that we would need for our mission. He returned about an hour later with my computer, and one of his own, something I had not seen before.
"What’s that?" I asked, with bemused interest.
"Oh, this is a computer. It’s basically a very advanced calculator that can do neat stuff like run programs."
"Stuff it, smart ass, you know what I mean. I haven't seen you with that yet."
"Oh, it’s just my duty station. I’m supposed to record a log of what goes on in the meetings, and other mundane bookkeeping things. Daily reports and what not. I haven't needed it until now," Charlie said.
"You could have used that one instead of hacking my terminal in the LRRC," I said, feigning hurt.
"Yeah but it was more fun to watch you twitch as I hacked your terminal. Seriously, why in the hell did you think ‘Alfalfa 45’ was a good password?"
"Because it was easy to remember and I didn't think I had much to worry about. All it was good for was to read stuff on anyway," I replied, shooting him a steely stare.
"Snow, sometimes you have absolutely no imagination," Charlie said as he cracked a smile.
“Reality is more fun anyway. I mean, look at all the fun we’ve had in the last month!”
“Oh yeah, loads,” he groaned.
“OK, hot shot, you hacked my terminal. Give me a crack at yours." I hopped over towards him, eager to play.
He quickly shut the lid. "No, it’s private; there’s a letter from my mommy on the screen," he laughed and feigned pain. "No one told me in the briefing how nosy you rabbits are."
"I’m a hare,” I reminded him again. “I will have you know that there’s a difference." I groomed a forepaw and tried to look superior.
"Yeah, rabbits are nicer, I bet," he shot back.
I, too, feigned pain, and fell over. "Oh my, you cut me to the quick! Oh woe is me, for I am undone."
"You missed your calling, Li’l Hare; you should have been an actress,” Charlie replied with mirth in his eyes.
I giggled at that. "What do you think I’ve been doing for the last two weeks? Snow in her greatest performance yet! Ambassador to the Mendians!!!" I said, in my best movie announcer voice, which given the voice collar, was quite good.
"Oh that’s rich. Well li’l starlet, I need to get to work," Charlie replied.
"OK, Charlie." I hopped off to explore my quarters.
It felt good to play and to laugh. It was a moment’s respite from the chaos and the terror that had scarred our journey to this point. The start of all this seemed so long ago now, but it wasn't because of time but experience, that it weighed upon us. For a moment though, we laughed and it felt like things were almost normal again.
I sat for a moment in the quiet living room of our quarters and stared at the strange wallpaper that adorned the wall. I was suddenly tired. The adrenaline was fading out of my system and my joints ached as the fatigue of post-crisis settled deeply upon me. In spite of all the death and chaos I had seen, right now all I wanted was a few hours of sleep.
It didn’t take me long to find my bed in a corner conveniently just above floor level. Curling up with my back to the wall, among the soft warm covers and the nice pillows, my eyelids drooped I fell into a heavy sleep.
Odd dreams plagued me. Mendians moved throughout a ship that was alien to me, speaking in a language I had never heard before. I couldn't understand their words but I could feel what they were feeling. It was strange, halting and uncomfortable. The images continued to come unbidden, robbing me of any real rest.
A female Mendian appeared in my dream dressed in shabby clothes. I felt a sudden stab of anger and disgust that I couldn't understand. She frightened me, but why? Quickly, my eyes opened to reveal the dark and the calm of my quarters. I was panting and the covers were disjointed, pillows kicked every which way, but I was still too tired to care.
As suddenly as I awoke, I began to fade back into blissful deep sleep.
This time, there were no dreams.
I felt a tinge of consciousness that grew to a deluge of awareness. How long had I been out? I tried to move, to stretch, but my body reported back in soreness and pain. My ears swiveled as I picked up a sound. Charlie was in the kitchen. My stomach rumbled, calling for breakfast. I did not want to move in that moment; I had no desire to leave the safe warm cocoon of my bed but my stomach grumbled again and I surrendered to its logic. I groggily put paws to floor and made my way to the kitchen.
Charlie was there, working away. I had no idea what had him so interested. He looked up, crunching on a slice of bacon, and said, "Good morning, sleepy hare, you have been down for twelve hours last time I looked."
I simply groaned and curled up on a convenient section of floor. "Do we have any juice? Or some bananas?" I rarely felt this groggy. "I feel like I got hit by a train."
"That’s the stress of the last few weeks compounding on you. Not to mention those high-G maneuvers you were in yesterday. We received a communication from the Mendians this morning containing the schedule. It's about 0700 now, and our first meeting isn’t till noon, and will be here at the quarters. Pretty light for a first day,” Charlie said, his chipper tone annoying me. I will never understand the logic of morning people.
I huffed and found myself fighting sleep, shaking myself awake. "I think I’m gonna need it.”
Chapter 23
I had never tried to control my inner monologue before, or hide my emotions from my own self. It was a frustrating and ultimately futile exercise. The little voice in my head proved resilient and uncontainable despite my best efforts to control her. I wondered briefly how healthy it was to view my conscious mind as a separate entity. Still, my nanites had done exactly that for three years, keeping my higher functions in a kind of stasis to prevent atrophy.
The thought shook me to my core, sending a shiver down my spine and making my fur stand on end. At that moment I realized I’d been playing with fire and decided to halt any future efforts. As unusual as it was to have a three meter long talking reptile in my head, it was something I was just going to have to adapt to.
I emerged out of the office having reviewed the dossier they wanted me to cover. Charlie was still working on his laptop. He’d been engrossed in his work since we had gotten here.
“You seem to be working hard,” I said, hoping to start a conversation.
“Reports don't write themselves, Snow. I have to get caught up.”
“Reports? Charlie, you’ve been working on something since we got here last night; it’s been practically all you’ve done,” I said, pushing a little harder.
“Look Snow, I know I’ve been busy and I am sorry.” He paused for a minute and looked down. “It's just that I’m really behind. With everything that happened on the Roam and such I’ve hardly had a moment and I don't want some brave paper pusher to have my hide when we get back to port,” he said, finally looking up from his station.
“How much work could there be? I mean surely, it can't be all that bad.”
“Bad enough, Snow. Now seriously, I really have to get back to it,” Charlie replied and he again dove into the work.
Something didn't seem right but I supposed Charlie had a right to his secrets. Still, part of me felt hurt. I didn't have the whole story; I just knew it. I felt a pang of guilt at my curiosity and my distrust. Charlie had to have a reason not to tell me everything. The man had saved my life two times in the last month. Surely that bought him a little latitude.
“Interesting... Tell me of this latitude,” Darnack said, causing me to leap, startled, almost hitting a wall.
> Charlie was up and by my side quickly. “Snow, what's going on? Are you OK?” he asked, genuinely concerned.
“Darnack... I think he's here for the meeting,” I said. Charlie tapped a panel and the door slid open. Darnack was indeed there, with a curious smile on his face.
“Greetingsss Lieutenant Commander Charlie Stevens,” he said, speaking directly to Charlie. Then he turned his gaze on me. I could feel him in the Link.
“I hope I did not startle you. I forget, you are not accustomed to the Link. In time you will be able to glean much from it, Shifted One,” he said, concerned but still fascinated by my reactions to this new and strange world I found myself in.
“It's fine, but maybe next time, knock first?” I was trying not to offend the Mendian.
“Knock. Intriguing.” He tapped twice on the table as if to try it out. “I will endeavor to signal you in the future in the manner you have chosen, Shifted One,” he said, his purple eyes locked on mine.
“Darnack, ambassador, since we aren’t standing on protocol, please call me Snow,” I replied, trying to be friendly.
“As you wish,” Darnack replied.
“Since this is our first meeting, should we meet in my office, or would you prefer that we adjourn to a conference room?” I asked, motioning a paw towards the door.
“Actually, it is my impression you may be curious about our ship. Would you like to, how do you say it? Take a walk?” Darnack asked. I was surprised by his informality.
“I suppose I would enjoy that. After you.”
“Excellent. Let us be on our way,” Darnack said.
The ship was vast, seeming to go on forever. I followed Darnack through the circular shaped corridors as my paws slipped slightly on the smooth floors. The ship felt organic and alive to a degree that surprised me. It didn’t have the efficient industrial manner of the Roam or the Danube with their gray sterility and lowest bidder design. This was more than a ship, it was a home and gave the aesthetic comfort of a cherished haven.
“I see you are pleased with our ship design. We have had much time to refine our craft,” Darnack said, sensing my wonderment.
“It really is beautiful. May I ask about the light trails in the walls, the pulsing ones? What are they for?”
“Ah! That is part of the Link! They are arteries of information. The optical system transmits all relevant data to the system core,” he replied. I sensed his pride at my admiration of the ship.
“So is this ship new?” I asked.
“Yes actually! Very new! The House Lethine is only seven hundred of your years old, but we are hoping for a very long life out of her,” Darnack replied. I paused in utter shock.
“Seven hundred years, and the ship is considered new?” I said, disbelieving my own mind.
“Indeed, one of the newer in our fleet, but she has served Lethine with distinction and honor.”
“Amazing,” I replied. “I would love to know more.”
“Another time perhaps. We have arrived at our destination.” Darnack looked towards the wall of the ship and a doorway appeared in a similar matter to the shuttle bay port when we arrived.
“Right this way.”
I hopped into an alien forest. I looked up and could see hundreds of feet in the air a glass dome with the stars just beyond. There was a blue tinted grass beneath my paws and trees with orange and yellow leaves that stretched out and away. In the distance I could hear a stream babbling. The room was cavernous. I looked but could find no walls.
“Oh, you are impressed. Very good, very good indeed! I was hoping this would be pleasant for you,” he said simply.
“This is astounding! I've never seen anything like this on a ship. It even rivals arboretums that I've been to back home on Earth,” I said, my muzzle agape at the wonder before me. “What is this place?”
“This is where we carry the last remnants of our home. What seeds and life we were able to save are contained here, within a private preserve. Each ship has at least one biome, while many have three or four. It is a way for us to remember, and cherish the memory of, our planet, Nasaria.”
“It is truly a great honor to be here, Darnack. I am deeply moved that you would bring me here before we started official negotiations,” I replied, feeling a bit overwhelmed.
“You choose a very nervous form to live in, Shifted One. It was my thought that visiting a place such as this might calm you,” he said.
“It is a wonderful gesture, and yes, it does help. I hope I have not offended you in any way with my nervousness,” I replied.
“How can one be offended without intent? I sense no malice in you towards me,” the Mendian responded, sounding genuinely curious.
“Mankind has always found a way.”
“Intriguing,” he said.
Chapter 24
I had spent hours in the forest biome. I stretched out my paws back in my quarters and felt the muscles tingle, a sign of fatigue from wonderful activity. After being allowed to run and explore, I was feeling more myself than I had in over a month. Charlie was still where I had left him, seemingly glued to his work station.
“You should have seen it! The grass is blue. I mean, really, truly blue. The trees look like fall in New England, but Darnack says they don’t change color. It was beautiful!” I was practically hopping in place. Having escaped for awhile the drudgery of post-industrial life had been a salve upon my soul.
“So what you are telling me is, you had a good time,” Charlie said. It was the understatement of the year.
I quickly composed my self, but still felt bubbly inside. “Yes, yes I did.”
“So what did you and Darnack speak about?” Charlie asked.
“Honestly, not much. He was friendly though, seems very curious about us... People, I mean. Nothing really serious or of consequence,” I replied.
“Just don't go off and renegotiate the Treaty of Gates on a nature hike,” Charlie said. My ears perked on their own accord. It was nice to see him stop working long enough to make a joke again. He had been so serious since we had gotten here and I’d felt a strange and heavy loneliness.
“I won’t, I promise. It seemed like today's meeting was just a friendly gesture.”
“OK then, for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing pretty well. If today's meeting was any indication, I think it's going to be a very productive mission,” Charlie replied, as he started working again.
“How’s your work coming? You’re still busy, I see.” I watched him as he worked away, my curiosity still eating at me.
“Oh you know how it is -- if you've seen one life form, you've seen ‘em all,” he replied, not looking up from the screen.
Suddenly I felt a cold weight at the center of my stomach as a pang of awareness and guilt came to me. “Is it because of the Link? Is that why you can't tell me what’s going on? Is that why you can't trust me anymore?”
Charlie continued to tap away at the screen for a few seconds, but I saw him wince when he heard my words. What happened next surprised me. He turned the screen towards me showing me a 97-R-55 form.
“It's nothing like that, Snow. I really am behind, see?” He sounded hurt.
I felt shame and the feeling of guilt only intensified. “Oh. Oh my, I'm sorry.” In that moment I felt an instinct to run, to hide. I felt ashamed. I had hurt him.
“No, Snow it’s OK. Look, I'm fine. I'm just busy,” he said. “Now, seriously, I need to get back to these forms.” With that, he immersed himself again in his work.
“Sure. I’ll be in my bunk if you need me,” I replied sadly.
“OK.” He seemed distant, already lost to me.
I curled up in my bed and fussed with the pillows and blankets till I had a nice soft space built up around me. I felt guilty, sad, fearful and rejected. Why was I feeling this way? It wasn't logical at all. Dammit! I just wanted him to spend time with me.
Bonded. The word hit me and sent a shock through my whole body. I was bonding to Charlie! In the last month he
had been my near constant companion. He had saved my life twice now, had helped me cope with all of this. Deep down, something inside of me had grown attached to Charlie. I needed him now, not just as a companion, not just as part of my world. This presented a whole new set of problems.
I would just tell him, be logical, hop right out there, and tell him. I went to move but froze, suddenly fearful. My throat was dry and I shivered a bit. What if he rejected me? The thought sent a panic through me and I gasped.
“Dammit, Snow! Get a hold of yourself,” I said and after fifteen minutes finally worked up the courage to head to the living room.
“Look, Charlie. I know you're busy and all, but we need to talk.” I felt my ears flush hot with embarrassment. He must have picked up on my tone because he shut his work station and set it aside.
“Sure, Snow, what's wrong?” he replied, showing a genuine interest.
“I uh, um.. How much do you know about hares and rabbits?” I asked clumsily, tripping over my own words.
“I admit, not too much. They gave me a basic rundown on behavior and temperament and stuff but I'm no expert.”
“Did they cover… bonding at all?” I asked, wondering how far his briefing had gone.
“A little. I was told that lagomorphs can form intense attachments to people and even objects under the right circumstances. It's natural for them and can be really devastating if such a bond is broken. Why?” They had taught him well.
“Well. Charlie. I don't know how to say it…” I hesitated, nervous.
“You feel bonded to me?” Charlie asked. Suddenly I felt an urge to rush back to my bunk.
“Bingo. It's not a sexual thing,” I quickly assured him. “It's just, I've adapted to need you. You are my... best friend,” I replied, my ears feeling hot, flushed.
“Well, they warned me that could happen and damned if the last month didn't make it inevitable.”
Exile's Return Page 14
