“But where are we going?” She thought over what the old guy had said, and knew if Darius had wanted her to meet up with Frasier, it was important. But Kieran had his own ideas.
“I thought you wanted to go to your herd.”
“I do.” Desperately, with all her heart, she wanted to see her family again. And yet there was something nagging at her brain, as if she were missing something. “But it can wait. I think this is important. What if Darius is in trouble and he was trying to get me to take a message to Fraser?”
“What, you owe him now your contract is paid off? You worked for him, don’t act as if he is your friend.”
“But I do owe him, he looked after me, I could have ended up goodness knows where. So many of us end up in factories, made to work sixteen hours a day just for food on our plates and somewhere dry to sleep. No one does us any favours over there.”
“Do you think I don’t know that?” He turned back towards her, his face clouded in memories. “You might think I had it easy, that all I had to do was punch a few people to survive. But I knew every time I entered that cage that there was a chance I would never walk out of it, never even crawl out of it. I took advantage of what Lance gave me. But don’t think I had it easy, don’t think I actually enjoyed it.”
His mood had changed, he was closing up on her, and she couldn’t let that happen. “And does no part of you want to find out exactly who you are? To find out who was trying to hurt you when you were younger? This Philippe, he took you from here; he kept you safe and taught you to be afraid. He wouldn’t have done that without a reason, and now you’re back you should want to find out.”
“Well, I don’t.” His face was set and she could tell he had made his mind up. For whatever reason, he wanted to shut out his past, but his past now affected her and it would affect their children. You couldn’t hide from it, but that was exactly what Kieran had been doing all his life, and he was too scared to change. Not that she was about to point that out to him. He was in a fragile place mentally; all his demons were gathering, pushing in on him.
“Then do it for me.”
“For you?” He almost sneered as he said the words.
“Yes, me, your mate, remember?” she asked crossly.
He didn’t stop. He just walked away and that made her so angry. He might be scared, but it did not give him the right to treat her like dirt.
Right now, she really did want to go horse and trample on his big, fat, arrogant head. Or maybe just kick some sense into him.
Chapter Twelve – Kieran
He walked off, leaving her fuming; she probably wished she had let Lance kill him. He had hurt her, but he couldn’t help it, he was that little boy again, the one who had been brought up to be careful, to be scared, to fear that which he didn’t know.
The same little boy who was still inside him and always would be. Maybe if he did find out why Philippe had taken him across the border, it might one day be free.
Alternatively, his fear might be the thing keeping him alive. What had Philippe told him? Don’t ask questions; don’t stir up the past.
She walked after him; he could hear her anger in every step, but he wasn’t going to turn around and tell her it was okay, because it wasn’t. She kept dangling this mate thing over his head, but in all reality he didn’t really feel it. Not now. It had gone.
When she was in danger, the feelings he had for her were strong, his need to help her and keep her safe all-consuming. But now they were walking across the grasslands that led deeper into the Prime, it was almost as if the connection between them had gone.
“Hey, wait,” she said running to catch up with him. “You know what you really need to do?”
“No?” he said. “I don’t. I’m not a mind reader, remember.”
“Look, I’m not the enemy, I don’t know what’s changed, but before we were working together and we need to do the same now.”
“Is this where you hit me with that mates thing again, because if it is, I don’t really want to know.” But he did stop and he did turn around to look at her. Trying not to let her see what effect she had on him as she stood there, looking beautiful.
With her eyes aflame as anger flashed across them, he could imagine her as a horse, nostrils flaring and a mane of hair flashing silver in the wind as she tossed it and snorted, a foot stamping before she turned round and kicked him in the gut. He smiled, but kept it half hidden. Maybe that was what he needed, to see her other side. And experience his other side.
But that scared him. Once he knew what he was, once Misty knew, there would be no going back. He would be forced to confront his past. And that was her plan.
“You want us to take our collars off.”
“See, you can read my mind.”
“It didn’t take much, it’s obvious. You think that once this collar’s off my neck I’ll become this lovesick puppy and will swear my undying love to you, because we’re mates.”
“You know what? I wish that when we took our collars off, that you wouldn’t mean anything to me. That’s right, I wish you weren’t my mate.” She jabbed her finger at him, trying to emphasise her point when she continued, “Because if you really want the truth, you might be disappointed in me, but I’m disappointed in you too. I thought I’d come back here, meet some nice stallion, settle down and have foals, lots of sweet foals, and he’d look after them, protect them. But instead, I ended up with a self-centered idiot.”
The smile that he had tried to keep hidden, widened. “I could get used to having you around. It’s nice to have a woman who doesn’t suck up to me because she wants me to fuck her.”
Shock spread across her face, and she didn’t see the funny side of what he said, but that was even more endearing to him. Damn, if she didn’t make him blow hot and cold.
“So let’s get to it,” he said.
She looked around, and then asked with a hushed voice, “Let’s get to what?”
He knew what was going through her head; she thought he was asking her to let him claim her, out here in the open grasslands. And that thought spun around in his head and the beast inside him stretched, liking the idea.
Maybe finding his true self wasn’t such a bad idea. Once the collars were off he was pretty sure he would want her more than anything he had ever wanted in his life. He only hoped that wanting her didn’t end up making him follow her wherever she wanted to go.
“Let’s take these collars off. Right now.” He put his hands up to the clasp which held his collar secure. “Want to run and hide from the beast inside me? I can feel him, you know; I can feel it prowling.”
Now she looked quite smug, and she said, “Go for it.”
It was if she was calling his bluff, and he wavered, not really sure what to do, because he might hurt her, he might not be able to stop himself. He was a fighter who had never lost a battle, he reminded himself; this beast wouldn’t get the better of him.
He broke the clasp, throwing his collar away, and standing there, as if he was just the same. As if nothing had changed inside him. And then it began. First, there was a tremor deep within him, as if something was bursting out, escaping for the first time, but he didn’t feel fear; he felt courage, he felt brave, as if all the times he’d been alone and scared were swept aside.
The beast in him was awake.
He was filled with a moment of pure pain. It ripped through him, making him fall to his knees. He looked down. His hands were changing: they thickened and fur covered them while his nails grew, until they were claws, sharp, deadly claws. He lifted his head and cried out, but then the cry deepened and changed. It became a roar. The beast was unleashed and fur erupted through his skin and a tail grew, swishing from side to side in agitation.
And with it came a hunger, but not the hunger he expected, not a hunger for meat. It was a hunger for revenge. Because somewhere deep inside him, his lion had all the memories of why he crossed the border. Why Philippe had gone on the run with him, and he swore, as he looked
up and saw his mate, as if for the first time, that he would take his revenge on the person who would hurt him and who had killed his father.
Chapter Thirteen – Misty
A lion. Of course he had to be a lion; he was arrogant enough to be king of the beasts. And what a beast he was; he was well muscled, his body toned and his fur sleek. The sun reflected off his sandy-coloured coat, while the breeze ruffled his mane. She longed to stroke him, and run her fingers through his thick fur and to look into his big amber eyes.
But there was something she wanted more, and her hands went to her collar, finding the clasp that had kept her horse corralled for so long. Now she was going to remove it, and set her free.
But when she pulled at it, it wouldn’t give. “Damn it,” she said, and tried once more. It must be stuck, but she had to get it off, and a moment of panic filled her. What if it was stuck on for good? What if no one could get it off, her horse would be shut away forever. Her beautiful, proud horse who was stamping its foot inside her mind, trying to get free, wanting to run with the lion who was her mate.
Taking a deep breath, Misty ran her fingers round the collar again, feeling the cool smoothness of the silver laced with copper. Making sure she placed one hand firmly on either side of the join, where the clasp held fast, she took a deep breath, summoning all her strength and tugged it hard, yanking it harder and harder, until it finally gave and she was free.
Shivers of anticipation coursed through her. Her horse was so close now and she wanted to be free, but there was something else, something deeper, a feeling inside her that mingled with everything else. It took a moment to separate those feelings, and when she did, it hit her hard, as if someone had speared her heart. The complete realisation that he was her mate, that this lion was the creature she was bound to, was like a pain, an exquisite pain that she wanted to dive into and explore. What she had felt for him when she wore the collar was nothing compared to this.
But then her horse reared up in her mind, trying to crash through the barrier and be free, and she knew it was time: her horse had waited long enough. Closing her eyes, she let her other side come forward, revelling in the sensation she had missed for so long.
Her body grew elongated, her hair growing long and flowing, blowing in the wind, and her tail swished from side to side. Four hooves replaced her hands and then she reared up neighing, screaming her presence to the world. Misty Blue had returned. She had returned to the Prime and now she was free.
Launching herself into the air, she leaped forward, galloping across the grassland, springing off the ground on all fours, prancing around, tail high, head high, snorting, calling out with a deafening scream to tell everybody that she was free. And then she turned again, racing back towards the lion who had stood in the same place the whole time. She ran at him head down, as if she was going to flatten him with her hooves.
And then at the last possible moment, she slid to a halt, mud flying up at him, only to leap off in the other direction, galloping flat out across the grass. Round and around in circles, she charged, expressing her joy in every stride. Until she was covered in sweat and her legs trembled.
Slowing to a walk, she headed back towards Kieran, who had stood watching her the whole time. She wondered why, and it made her feel special, that he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her. He was admiring her, and she couldn’t help prancing, just a little, as she walked.
Stopping right in front of him, she reached out her nose to touch his, their animals meeting for the first time. Predator and prey, bound together by some crazy mating bond.
He still hadn’t moved, not his feet anyway: all he had done was move his head to sniff her. Taking a step forward, she nudged him on the shoulder with her nose, trying to get him to walk. He turned and huffed at her, growling quietly. This was exactly what she expected from him: he was still miserable; surely he should be happy now his beast was free. Not knowing what else to do, she quickly changed back into a human form.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, her hands going to his thick mane and threading through the hair, feeling him tremble under her. And concern replaced her annoyance. “You hurt?”
And then it struck her: he didn’t know how to use his lion body. If he’d never experienced walking on four legs and having to cope with a tail, then this was going to be a little tricky.
“We have to do this one foot at a time,” she said. “Move this one forward.” She tapped the top of his right paw and he did as she asked. “Now this one.” Gradually he took two strides forward, staying upright on his big paws, although he looked very wobbly, and every time his tail swished he looked as if he was going to collapse to the ground.
But he was determined. She had to say that about him, but then Kieran didn’t seem to be the kind of person who would ever let anything defeat him. Slowly he moved faster, breaking into a trot and then a run. At first she ran alongside of him, on two legs, but then, in one fluid movement, she changed into her silver horse and ran with him.
They had nowhere to go, nowhere to be. All they had was now, and their future together. The Prime was theirs. This was what she had longed to return to, this was the feeling she’d missed so much, and she put away everything that had happened earlier. All thoughts of Darius, of the people who tried to kill them, of the information she held, and just ran: mindless, beautiful, exhilarating.
They travelled several miles, stopping at a watering hole to drink, before setting off again. It didn’t really matter what direction they travelled, but they made sure to avoid all human contact, well, shifter contact. This time was theirs alone.
Until, as the afternoon grew into evening, she knew that they had to find somewhere to rest. And she had to get him to change back into his human form.
To the north there was a mountain range, and this was where she headed, with him following behind, his head down, as tiredness swept over him. She knew he would never admit it, but this had probably been the hardest thing he had ever done. Finding a track leading into the lower foothills, she followed it, until they found a place by a stream where they could camp.
Misty changed first, allowing her human form to take over, and then she taught Kieran how to change too. There was a moment when she panicked. His lion had taken over so quickly, when he had removed his collar, that there was a good chance he could be naked once he was human again. And that would make the rest of their journey awkward. But gradually, as he took the form of a man, she was relieved to see he was still fully clothed.
Well, most of her was relieved: part of her would quite like to see him naked, to run her hands over his tanned flesh and feel the hardness of his muscles. Because, standing there, with nobody else around—just the two of them, no barriers between them—she wanted to get to know him in a more intimate way.
That would have to wait, she told herself. They really needed to make a fire, and to find food.
“That was amazing,” he said. “I never expected it to be like that, never expected it to be so right. The collar has kept so much secret from me. This other side of me, I can hear his voice in my head. It’s like we’re one, two voices in one body.”
“I know,” she smiled. “The two years I’ve spent wearing the collar have been the quietest in my whole life. I’ve missed her voice; I’ve missed the way she makes me feel. As if everything’s okay, as if we could conquer the world together.” She felt tears prick her eyes and her horse rubbed her head, mentally, against Misty’s, and told her that she had missed her too. And that never, no matter what happened, would they ever wear a collar again.
“I can feel the bond.” These were the only words he said as he looked at her, his eyes seeing her as if the first time. He lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. “I’m sorry, sorry for what I said.”
“It’s okay, you were scared.”
He laughed, a short derisory laugh. “I would never admit that.”
“You don’t have to,” she said taking his hand and turning his palm towards her m
outh, and then she pressed her lips against it. “But you know you can trust me with anything. We’re bonded.”
“Not completely,” he said, desire in his eyes. And she knew what he meant.
“We need to find some food.” She let his hand drop and saw the disappointment on his face, but knew that before the darkness came they had to find food and get a fire going, because soon it would be cold. And the day’s exploits would catch up with them.
Although her horse told her that probably the best way to keep warm, was if they just lay side-by-side, bodies melded together as one, while the stars of Shifters Prime came out above them.
Misty had to be practical, while her horse was an old romantic.
There’s time for that later, Misty told her horse. And as she went into the woods to find some firewood, she promised she would make sure they definitely found the time tonight.
Chapter Fourteen – Kieran
Was she avoiding him? He couldn’t tell, but she was stronger than him, she could fight the mating bond that threatened to overwhelm him. When he had run as a lion, it hadn’t been too bad, his whole consciousness had been taken up with trying to coordinate all the parts of his body that seemed alien to him. Running on four feet was one thing, but the tail, that was totally weird, like having a fifth leg. If he wasn’t careful, it overbalanced him, and the last thing he wanted to do was fall flat on the floor in front of her.
It didn’t help that she was obviously so experienced at running as her horse; it was all so natural. She was the most graceful thing he’d ever seen. The way the sun caught her mane, made it look as if it was made of silver thread, and it flew out behind as she galloped. He had never appreciated just how beautiful a horse could be.
As a lion he felt like a child again, all gangly legs and big feet. But as a man, he felt a primal urge to mate with her. All he could think of, was how he wanted to be with her, to make her his. All the women in his past, and there had been many, were nothing to him now. He was with Misty; the rest had faded, slipped from his mind. To Kieran, this was an enlightening moment: he had always been a man whore, but no more, there would be no one else in his life but her.
Fighting A Lion: BBW Paranormal Lion Shape Shifter Romance (Sleeping Lions - Shifters Prime Book 3) Page 6
