My heart was pounding so fucking fast, I couldn’t keep up.
“And I wrote to you and called you, and I tried to make it right, but you wouldn’t let me. I thought I’d just give you time, then come see you, but then I heard you and Tony were serious. I straight out asked your dad.”
“You called Dad?”
“I wanted his blessing.”
Holy shit.
“What did he say?” I asked.
He took my hand and brought it to his lips, and I felt an ache, like I’d never felt before, grow between my legs.
“He was disappointed I wasn’t with you, Gen.”
“Oh my God.” That was all I had. I put my head in my free hand, knowing he was waiting for me to decide, give him the green light. Lifting my face to his, I confessed something I’d thought about so many times, there was no way to count them. “I haven’t had a decent kiss since I was fourteen years old.”
His face broke into a gorgeous smile as he put both hands up to cup my cheeks.
“Just sayin’,” I added, “that’s a lot of pressure on you.”
“Gen.” He leaned down, and when our lips finally touched and our mouths opened…
It was game on.
I had never been so aroused so quickly in all my life. That ache between my legs grew into a hunger, voracious with the need for him to be inside me, something I’d always wanted and fantasized about before I had any idea what sex even was. I knew I needed to be filled with more than my fingers or my vibrator, and still, I had no idea what to expect if that time actually came. And here we were, grabbing at each other like animals. Every touch was the desperate exploration of a new world, his and mine. Both on our knees, my teeth nipping at his chest, sucking his pierced nipple into my mouth, his hands gripped under my shoulders and lifted me so we were face-to-face.
Breathless, my heart and his pounding in our chests, he said, “Gen.” He held my eyes with his as he lifted me a little more and placed me above the tip of his cock. “Gen,” he said more softly. His body shook as he held my weight, dangling me above his prize.
“Don’t tease me,” I said breathlessly. “Please, Ahren.”
“Again,” he asked softly, his voice betraying that this wasn’t just about sex for him.
Then I understood.
“Ahren,” I whispered his name.
Then he lowered me onto his cock, but to my surprise and delight, I was being gloriously stretched as my body adjusted to him.
“So wet,” he muttered.
That wasn’t usually the case. With Tony, it seemed to take a lot to get me going. When Ahren walked into a room, I wanted to smother him with my vagina.
“What do you like? Tell me what you want?” he asked.
So many things to say. “I like…everything.”
He stopped his gentle thrusting. “You may need to elaborate.”
I didn’t like that he stopped. I absolutely did not like that at all. So, I did what any woman with a pussy and heart starved for a particular man would do. I rode him like he was my own personal stallion. I moved my breast to his mouth and he sucked and pulled deliciously. I found a rhythm and position which gave me the friction I needed to orgasm, and just as I was close, Ahren said gruffly, “Gen.”
I looked to see he wanted my eyes on him. His hands gripped my hips, and he began to pound me down harder and harder onto his cock. My old tricks with my former lovers were unnecessary as he found that spot and ground into me, watching my mouth open, my head drop back, and my orgasm rip through my body while he jerked his own release into me.
Jesus.
My head was cradled into his neck, a place my head had been several times before. But not like this. We were both coming down, still connected, when he suggested, “Maybe we should try that again, except this time, we’ll have that sixteen years of lust thing out of the way.”
His lips rested against my forehead when I asked, “Wait. You wanted to have sex with me when I was eight?” I knew my face had scrunched up in a most unattractive way. I could almost hear my mom say, “Gen, that face”.
“Well, no. I was twelve and too busy masturbating to the Victoria’s Secret catalog to know what sex was.” He brushed his thumb down my cheek. “This isn’t about sex, Gen. It’s about you and us and our future together.”
I closed my eyes on the word future and thought I might pass out. “I’m gonna clean up. I’ll be right back. You want anything?”
He closed his eyes as I slid off of him. “Just you.”
Fantastic fucking answer. I looked down at him…all of him, still hard and slick with both of us. “I’ll get a towel.”
The first thing I did when I went into the bathroom was look in the mirror. God, I looked horrible. I must have lost ten pounds in the last week. I was eating now, but not much. Dad would have loved Ahren and I together, Mom too. Granny would have been happy for me as long as I was happy. I grabbed my jeans and a sweatshirt from the bathroom floor and put my Chuck’s on, not caring about socks.
Ahren was sitting up against the headboard, reading the same book he’d brought with him. I laid a hand towel on the bed, leaned over and kissed him on the lips. “I have to do something. But please, stay in bed just like that. It’s not every day one of my sexual fantasies just appears and gives me a better orgasm than me and a couple of double A batteries could ever do.”
He smiled, which was what I was hoping for.
I went downstairs, out the front door, and walked into the cemetery. I sat there, looking at the fresh dirt. The headstones were still being made, but I was assured they’d be ready by next week.
“Hey,” I said to the three of them. “I haven’t cried in two whole days. Can you believe that? I hope you’re not mad. I mean, I know you aren’t. God, what am I saying?”
I plopped down on the dirt and just stared. I was amazed at how okay I actually felt. In reality, I knew it all had to do with Ahren. He was a great distraction, yes, but he’d been through all of this before. He was careful to ask me questions about my mom and dad. He never let me forget what happened or allowed me to bury it only to have that pain rear its ugly head later.
“I don’t want to leave Eden Hills,” I told them. “I hope that works for him. There was so much I kept from Tony. I know you knew that, Dad. I was never completely myself. I’m a wild girl. I mean, there are things you just don’t discuss with your parents and grandmother, but I like sex. I mean, a lot. I like to be wild and talk dirty. I’ve never been a conservative person at all. I can’t understand how Tony didn’t see that. I haven’t been happy in so long. I’m only twenty-four. What do I do now? Get married and have beautiful babies which I’ve had named since I was thirteen? I’ve written Genevieve Finnegan that many times. Jesus. Sorry, Gran. I know you hate it when I say that. Anyway, he was my first kiss, my first crush, but I don’t really know him. He doesn’t know me, that’s for sure. So, I’m gonna do things differently this time. You love Ahren. I’ve always loved Ahren. So, here we go.” I was about to get up, but I had to add, “I wrote all the thank you cards, Gran. You’d be so proud. And I took the flowers that don’t seem to stop coming to The Elms, the Catholic Church, and our church.”
I stood up and wiped off my butt, and as soon as I turned around, he was there. He’d heard every word that came out of my mouth.
I looked back to the fresh graves. “They are such good listeners.” I smiled.
“They always were,” he said with sincerity. “Want some cereal?”
“Cereal?”
“I’m thinking we should probably carb up before the next round.” He was funny, but something didn’t feel right. I kept walking silently toward the house when he stopped me. His hand on my arm, he pulled me into his body. “Hang on.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked. What a stupid chick thing to say. I swear, sometimes I was so disappointed in myself.
“Gen, that is not how I imagined our first time together. I want to make love to you. I don’t think I’ve ever ac
tually said those exact words because they sound corny, but what we just did…fucking great…but that was fucking, pure, hard, sweaty, great fuckin’ fucking. Now, I want to take my time, explore that beautiful body of yours, taste you, put my mouth all over you…discover you. And as for what you said to your mom, your dad, and your Gran… Gen, I’ve always loved this house. We don’t have to make big decisions today. But so you know, I can find a job here. I can work in one of the wineries. I can get my real estate license and take over your dad’s business. I can work with my dad and eventually take over his business. I have lots of options. But the most important thing to me is that finally, you and I have a chance to be you and me. I’m not alone in thinking that, right? I mean, you mentioned something over there about being Genevieve Finnegan.”
“Eavesdropping is so rude,” I said with a half-smile.
“You said that though.” He wasn’t smiling anymore. He looked at the house, at the cemetery, and then back to me. “Did you mean it?”
Of course I meant it. What a stupid question, but he was trying to feel me out, and, honestly, from the top of the stairs to the foot of the graves, I was questioning everything. I’d changed a lot in four years.
“I’m not the same person anymore, Ahren.”
He stood before me in his tee, his nipples hard through the thin cotton so his piercing showed. His feet were bare, and his jeans were distractingly tight. But all those things were quickly forgotten when he said, “I know you, Gen. I have all the time in the world to prove it.”
Three months later…
Ahren had given notice to his employer. One more week and he was coming back to Greer’s Rest.
For good.
He came up on the weekends, and, during the week, we talked on the phone for hours and emailed throughout the day. Eddie insurance guy (that was my name for him) had called to say that all the monies had been settled. I didn’t sail, I could barely swim, but I could probably have bought a yacht. This allowed me to figure out my life without having to worry about money. I’d been Dad’s receptionist since I was sixteen, and for the last few months, I’d been sending all his business to an office in Foster City that took over everything. I received a percentage from the sales of any of Dad’s remaining properties. Today, I was going into town to take down all the signage from the office windows. It was the last task on my list of things I really didn’t want to do, but needed to for closure. I felt happy, but I questioned it. It had only been a few months since I lost them. Ahren kept my emotional well-being in check, still, something sat on the edge of my heart and I hoped that completing the last item on my list would help to make it go away.
My cell phone rang in my hand, and I knew it was probably the call I was expecting.
“Hey,” I answered as my entire body flooded with anticipation.
“Hey, yourself. My car broke down. Can you believe that shit?” he said.
“Do you always swear at your girlfriend?” I was on speaker phone. Adam, Ahren’s dad, had apparently picked him up.
“She’s worse than I am.” He laughed.
“It’s true,” I explained. “My parents threatened to wash my mouth out with soap since I was six.”
“I guess it didn’t work,” Adam commented.
“Turns out, I like the taste of soap,” I joked, and with that, the two men chuckled, the sound identical.
“Are you still going into town?” Ahren asked.
“I’m heading there in twenty. I’m armed with paint stripper, a chisel, and industrial rubber gloves.” I left it at that, knowing I had more than Ahren as an audience.
“I’ll be there in half an hour, Gen. Then we’ll go to Brewster’s and buy a cake.”
“Cake makes everything better,” I stated.
“How are you not five-hundred pounds?” Adam’s chuckle was now a full burst of laughter.
“You know, Luke asked Lorelai the same thing on the Gilmore Girls once. I think she told him that scientists were baffled by her ability to consume the food she did and not gain a pound. Don’t tell anyone, but I think it’s my superpower.”
He ended the call, both men laughing.
It took me ten minutes to drive to the office. Another ten sitting in my car in front of the office. Now, I was leaning against my car, waiting, my bag of supplies from the hardware store sitting on the sidewalk by my feet. I’d been mentally preparing myself for this. It was the end of something that meant so much to my dad and to the town. I was surrounded by constant reminders of my family, and this was just one more. I wasn’t sure what I would do with the space. Maybe rent it out to another business eventually, but that would be another step, another pang in my heart I’d endure when the time came.
“Dude.” I heard Rocky’s voice as she leaned next to me. “Today’s the day, huh?”
We both looked straight ahead into the front windows. The flowers my mom had always kept looking healthy in the planter boxes still thriving, even with my black thumbs.
“Need some help?” she asked.
I didn’t answer. I just let my head lean on her shoulder. I had these moments when it all hit me. I didn’t cry. I just…remembered.
Rocky reached down and held my hand. After a while, maybe five, ten minutes later, I bent down and picked up the bag. “I guess now’s as good a time as any.”
“Isn’t Ahren coming down today? I thought he was helping you?”
I wasn’t sure who loved Ahren more. But the difference was, she loved him for me and everything he’d done since the day of my parents’ funeral.
But he hadn’t arrived yet. Then I thought back to our conversation and wondered why he was late. I was a little paranoid now, when people were driving to and fro. If you said you were going to be there at nine, I gave a grace period until nine-fifteen. Just to be sure. Nine-sixteen, I’d be calling and worrying and panicking until you showed up.
I shook my head and gave my friend a silly giggle. “I’m gonna call. I think he’s come to expect my crazy obsession with punctuality and cars.”
I laughed it off as a joke, but Rocky was quick to say, “Not crazy, Gen. Not at all.”
My smile fell as I absorbed her words, her understanding. “You’re so much like your mom, Rock. That’s a really good thing.”
“Thanks, man,” she said just as I heard my phone ring.
“Hey, just around the corner.” His voice immediately soothed my borderline anxiety.
I grinned into the phone. “I’ve been standing here for a while. I did get out of the car and Rocky’s here—”
“Dad!” Ahren yelled so loud I had to hold the phone from my ear. Before I could ask him anything else, I heard the familiar sound of tires screeching and then… nothing.
****
I stared out the windows at the rain that just seemed to keep coming. I came into work on Tuesday, like nothing had changed. Rocky watched as I checked the machine for messages. Dad knew it was an old-fashioned way of doing things. Mom suggested he arrange a message service. He argued, that’s what I was there for. I kept the website updated with properties, took photos of new listings, but honestly, there really wasn’t a reason for me to work there at all. I was drifting through my young life, taking classes I thought were interesting at the community college in Santa Rosa. There were a variety of things I was good at, but nothing at which I actually excelled. I could have gone for my real estate license, which was dad’s dream for us, but I didn’t enjoy selling, especially if I didn’t like the house. I told Dad it made me feel like a prostitute. I would come to learn as I became hardened by life, we’re all prostitutes in one way or another.
The city council wanted to install a traffic light at the intersection that led into town. Some argued it was a waste of money. Others thought it was about time. I had to turn right at the four-way stop five days a week. I’d almost been hit so many times. The other direction of traffic came into town down an incline, which led to a blind curve before the intersection. I knew the feeling of adrenaline when
the car picks up speed, powering down that small hill, straight onto Main Street in downtown Greer’s Rest.
The hill, the speed, the unknown around that bend, it was too much temptation for some. Especially if you weren’t a local.
Dad made the turn into town with my mom and Gran as passengers. He was going the speed limit. The other driver wasn’t. The street was wet that late October day, and when the other driver slammed on his breaks, he rear-ended Dad’s car.
I heard the unique sound of crashing metal, almost like experiencing an earthquake; it feels like it goes and goes and goes. The sound of the crash seemed to go on forever. I ran out the door, my cell phone ready to call Chad Healy from the police department. We’d gone to high school together, but as soon as I made it to the street corner, I watched Rocky running toward me. Guava was pacing in front of her shop which was up on the next block. She had a front row seat to the carnage. I kept thinking, “God, please don’t let anybody be hurt.” But Rocky’s face…
She took my hand and pulled. Her grip on me was so tight, my fingers protested, but I didn’t break her hold on me. I knew, deep down, I knew. Dad picked up Gran, then took her to Eden Hills so she could visit with Mom for a while, and enjoy her previous home while Dad showered and changed. We were going to this place in Calistoga that had an amazing range of desserts. I was thinking about what I would devour for my birthday dinner. I was thinking about the barn-style restaurant. I was thinking about the earrings with little skulls and crossbones I wanted from Guava’s shop. I was thinking about Tony, how I’d broken his heart only a few weeks before.
And then I stopped.
Chad Healy was already there, and he didn’t walk to me. He ran.
“Ambulance will be here in five minutes…hopefully less, Gen. They were close. That’s good.” Rocky released me and he took over, wrapping his big hand around my small one. He pulled me to the right, on the sidewalk, nowhere near the wreck. I saw his shoes first…one of his shoes. Then his jeans. Dad lived in jeans when he wasn’t working. Then the blood.
The Morbid and Sultry Tales of Genevieve Clare Page 3
