“Why did this take so long?” I asked.
“I guess we both had to decide it was worth it.”
His words jolted me.
I sat up and looked into his eyes as he explained. “Like I said in the letter I sent to Rocky, I’ve decided it’s worth the risk of having you for one day then losing you, than never having you at all.”
“I have to spend the night with you,” I said.
“I was hoping you would.” His body relaxed and his confidence returned. He’d been waiting for me, for this night, for a long time, so I wasn’t surprised.
“Not because of what you’re thinking though,” I said cautiously.
His thumbs moved along my jaw and pulled at my bottom lip. “Talk to me,” he commanded.
“You’re going to think I’m nuts,” I warned.
“Probably not. And if you don’t hurry it up, it’s going to have to wait.” He moved my hand I’d rested on his pec, moving over his piercing to the top of his jeans. My breath hitched when my finger hit wetness from the top of his cock.
As much as I wanted him now, and by now I meant nine years ago, I had to get this off my chest before we went any further.
“Okay,” I began and cleared my throat. “After your accident, I stopped sleeping. I slept a little here and there, but I was afraid I was going to die and not know it’d happened.”
“What?” His eyebrows furrowed, his face became angry, and his jaw moved back and forth like he was grinding his teeth.
“I…I’d hear you moan, or make a noise, and I knew you were in pain. Then my mind would go to a dark place, Ahren. I was never afraid of death, you know that about me, but my obsession with it became something else after you were hurt. I’d stop breathing, not hold my breath, I just wouldn’t take one. I’d stare at the ceiling and keep my body from moving and I felt…”
“Nothing,” he finished my sentence for me.
“Yeah.”
“I went to counseling, Gen. You should’ve talked to someone. Fuck, you should’ve talked to me. I would’ve helped you.”
“The man who just lost his last parent and almost lost his life?” I shook my head. “The day you left, it stopped. I just stopped doing it.”
“Because you were protecting your heart, baby.” He moved my hair behind my ears and held it there.
“But that didn’t happen with Rocky.” I never pulled away from my friend, not like that.
“Because romantic love is different. You love Rock, but she isn’t your whole world. Think about our history, Gen. If something’d happened to me…”
“Something did happen to you. And I’m older, I know I want this, I want you, but I don’t want that feeling to come back.”
He leaned in and kissed me again. This time his hands fisted into my hair, pulling me deeper into the kiss, his tongue moving in tandem with mine, and his hand moved between my breasts.
He stayed just above my lips to say, “I will not let you leave. And if that feeling comes back, I will be there. And if I think you need counseling, even though it’s been years, Gen, I’m gonna make you go. But I’ll be with you every step of the way. And if something takes me from you, I’ll haunt you until you join me in the next world.”
I felt his lips smile against my own. “What if something happens to me?” I asked.
He held my face in his hands and said, “Then you wait for me to join you, baby. I won’t be far behind.”
I woke to warm breath on the inside of my thigh. I didn’t usually sleep in the nude. I also didn’t stay the night with anyone. That was just the way I did things. I never kept a number in my phone that some guy put there, and I never had sex with the same guy twice.
The breath moved higher, hovering over my sex as it clenched in the memory of his mouth there before. I’d fallen asleep after we’d had an orgasm together, then I used my mouth on him, and he’d used his mouth on me, and we’d both fallen asleep. I also cried for about an hour, happy we’d found our way back to each other, and sad we’d lost so much time. But we’d both agreed it was probably for the best.
Ahren had taken over his father’s business. He even looked after some of the gardens his father had designed years ago. I loved this about him, especially since he took care of them for free. Like me, he’d been left with a hefty payout from the death of his parents. After his mother died, his dad invested the money left to him (with Ahren’s permission) in some kind of high-yielding something or other. I had a guy by the name of Jack who took care of everything for me. Whatever I wanted to do with my money, Jack made the necessary arrangements.
But there was one thing that Ahren and I didn’t have in common; he had dated in the last ten years. He said he’d had a relationship with a woman named Eloise. He called her Loz, and said he had loved her, in his own way, but she deserved better.
“She wasn’t you,” he told me.
And now, still half asleep I felt his tongue lick the inside of one fold and down the other as his hand reached for my breast. I arched my back in response to his magnificent touch as he dragged his fingernail across one nipple, and then to the other. I brazenly opened my legs to give him better access, and he took it, sliding two fingers inside me and moving up my body as he worked them in and out.
“I think your experiment worked,” he commented on my lack of panic-induced dreams, his voice filled with satisfaction.
“Or you fucked me into a coma,” I breathed, his fingers taking the wetness and pulling them across my clit before they moved back inside. “Jesus,” I gasped.
“You’re dirty,” he stated, and I knew he wasn’t saying that to mean I hadn’t showered.
“I can be dirty,” I said on a shaky breath as he pushed a third finger inside me.
He moved in a slow circle, apparently a master of all things my body responded to. “It’s more than that. You’re uninhibited now.”
I would never have classified myself as wild, but I didn’t have a lot of hang-ups where sex was concerned. “I’m fairly open-minded…ah,” I gasped as he found a spot with his fingers that felt magical.
He moved them out and down, lubricating my backside, then continued to drive me crazy. “Look at me, Gen.” He grinned as he plunged those three fingers deep, adding a fourth to my ass.
“Oh…my…God,” I managed to eek out.
“This is not a part I’m going to take slow,” he declared. His fingers thrust into me, his other hand wrapped around my neck, and his lips rested right against mine. “I can wait to move in with you…” Thrust. “I can wait to marry you…” Thrust. “And I can wait to have kids.” Thrust, and with the last one, his fingers stayed inside me, unmoving as he spoke. “But I am going to fuck you anywhere, everywhere, and whenever I get the chance,” he said. “Does that work for you?”
God, it totally worked for me. But at that particular moment, I needed release.
“I need to come,” I breathed.
“Does that work for you?” he asked again.
“Whatever you want, I just need to…to… please,” I begged.
His entire body stilled. “No, Gen. Whatever you want. You need to be comfortable, you need to be ready. I said I won’t rush you, and I won’t. But right now, you need to be honest… with yourself. What do you want?”
I stared back at him and said from the bottom of my soul, “For you to make love to me, to sometimes fuck me hard and dirty, sometimes slow and beautiful, to eat waffles and drink coffee on my back porch like we used to, and to love me, Ahren.” I shook my head, unable to hold his intense gaze. I closed my eyes. “To love me like no one has loved anyone in the history of anything ever before.”
His thumb brushed the tears beneath my eyes. “I can do all those things and more, Gen. My Gen.” His fingers left me, only to be replaced by him, filling me slowly, grinding into me while he held the back of my bent knee to drive deeper.
“Jesus…” I managed to say, my body remembering how good it was between us as my orgasm took over. This time was di
fferent. We were both older, more experienced, and though I’d never thought I was inhibited back then, youth and inexperience had made me so. Reuniting physically, emotionally, regardless that it scared the absolute fuck out of me, it was right and I knew it.
I fell asleep again, and when I woke to sounds of the morning forest coming alive, there were no dark thoughts. All I could hear were Ahren’s slow steady breaths. All I could feel was his arm draped over my hip.
We’d both come home.
****
In an effort to keep me from “freaking the fuck out,” my words, which Ahren loved to repeat to me…often…we decided to start…uh…dating.
The concept was almost foreign to me since I hadn’t dated in years. He said he was going to “woo” me.
So, sitting in Brewster’s the next day while making plans, drinking coffee, and eating pastry, I asked, “Woo me?”
“Yeah, old-fashioned-like.” He grinned.
The day after Thanksgiving, the town was eerily quiet. Huge shopping day, sales abound and the populace of Greer’s Rest made their way to the malls. It was the manipulative commercials and catalogs that did it. They were covered in snowflakes, spreading their merry fucking cheer, their fantastic prices taunting you to come to the giant store and spend, spend, spend… A person can only take so much before they crack under pressure.
It wasn’t like there was a shortage of shops in town. Not spending money locally was almost like breaking our little-known commandment—thou shalt not shop at the corporation. When it came to Christmas though, it was understood and accepted people would shop elsewhere. You could buy beautiful tea towels and kitchen stuff from Alice’s Restaurant (not a restaurant at all). Alice, whose mom had named her after an Arlo Guthrie song, sold all kinds of kitchenware. You could also go to the big Target and shop for all your friends and family in one fell swoop.
I tried not to do this, however. If I needed a beautiful candle to make my house smell like pumpkin pie, I went to Guava’s shop, Mystic Moonstone. If I needed a hammer or a drill bit or a garden hose, I went to Richie’s Hardware.
But even I wasn’t immune.
However, the guilt was that great, I shopped online, so my dirty little loophole secret was between me, the mailman, and my conscience.
“Where is everybody?” Ahren asked.
I leaned in and whispered, “At the mall.”
“Right.” he chuckled. “Gen, you know, everyone here is looking at us.” And they were all the hardcore townies like myself, loyal to the small businesses.
“I know.” I shrugged. “I’m sure the local paper will do some big feature on lost love reuniting or some crap.”
“Some crap?” He raised his eyebrows, not amused at all.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Ahren.” The words just slipped out of my mouth without me really thinking. “So, back to this ‘wooing,’” I air quoted.
He reached across the small table, one hand wrapped around his coffee mug, the other linking his fingers with mine. “Courting,” he said.
“Courting?”
“Gen…” He shook his head, back to amused, thank God.
“Are you freaking out, too?” We’d covered a lot of ground, but I hadn’t asked him that particular question. I mean, I figured there was a reason he’d left and stayed away. And not just because I’d asked him to.
“No.” One word. Concise. Done. Final.
“Okay.” I ate the last bite of my almond croissant and closed my eyes. “Good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah, good. Because then, if I do freak out—not saying I’m going to—it’s nice to know one of us has our feet firmly planted in the calm, cool, solid ground of rational thinking.”
“Gen?” he asked.
“Yep,” I replied, looking out the back windows of the bakery where I could just see the sparkle of the river.
“Gen,” he said again.
“Mmhmm?” I returned.
“I need you to look at me.”
I did and waited
He said, “You’re looking at me, but you are not seeing me.”
Oh my God. He was right. I was there, but I wasn’t. I was circling there, hovering there, but I wasn’t really there. My shoulders slumped as I let the tension in my body go. “I’m sorry.”
“See me, know I’m here with you, and then stop thinking about it, okay?”
I didn’t say anything to this. I just looked at him. He’d aged. He was thirty-eight now, his face tanned with crow’s feet that made him look even hotter. His hair was long around his ears and neck, just as it’d always been, but now he had a few grays mixed into that sandy color. I was so struck by his masculine beauty, I finally found my voice.
“I think you are quite possibly the best looking man I have ever seen in my entire life.”
He moved his chair right next to mine, hiding my body from the view of lookiloos.
“Gen,” he said with a smile both in his voice and on his face. His full lips getting closer, so close, I hadn’t bothered paying attention to his hand, which was now on my thigh.
“People,” I breathed. “Everywhere.”
“Yeah,” he said and moved his hand just at the top of my thigh, teetering dangerously close to being indecent in public. Well, more indecent in public. “What are you doing today?” he asked.
“Afternoon casket shopping and dirty magazine and cake day with Mr. Oskin, I mean Bryce. I get to call him Bryce now.” I’d come to Ahren’s prepared with the magazines, a t-shirt I knew Bryce would appreciate, and clean panties.
“I’ll call you later. I have to do some work today, too.” He kissed my cheek, which was chaste compared to what his wandering hand was doing. “You make sure that Bryce knows that this…” He caught me completely off guard when he grabbed my crotch firmly, making me gasp and soaking my clean panties all at once. “…belongs to me. ‘K?”
I closed my eyes, wondering if I’d get arrested if I smothered him with my vagina in the middle of Brewster’s Bakery. “God, yes, okay.”
He pulled his hand away first, a shit-eating grin on his face, then took a sip of coffee. “Gen?”
“Yeah,” I answered quickly, kinda dazed.
“You might want to put your coat on,” he suggested.
I looked down, thinking I’d spilled food on myself or something, but no. My nipples were so hard I could have hung my coat on them. I grinned with a blush and kept my eyes lowered to the table while I slipped my coat on.
“See ya, baby.” He stood up, leaned down, and kissed me goodbye.
“See ya,” I returned and watched as he walked out the bakery door, the little bell at the top jingling as it closed behind him.
When I had gathered my thoughts, grinning to myself like an idiot, I saw that the people in Brewster’s, people I’d known my entire life, were all looking at me. Gone were the faces of sympathy and sorrow I had grown accustomed to, and in their place were the happy faces of hope.
I left Brewster’s with a smile that stayed plastered there the entire fifteen minute walk from the bakery door to the door of The Elms.
“I said…” shouted Bryce in Cheryl’s face, “get the fuck away from me, you fucking bitter cow. I ain’t going anywhere. Cookie called. Cookie is coming in today, and I’m not going anywhere with you, with them,” he motioned toward two ambulance transport guys I recognized. “Or St. Peter himself if he drops in to escort me to the pearly fuckin’ gates. I said no.”
Cheryl stood above Bryce and did not back down. Ruby ran over to meet me in the entryway and explained in a rush. “He had an episode this morning. I don’t think it was his sugar, his glucose levels are fine. I have no idea. But he wasn’t responding when Cheryl tried to check him this morning.”
“Mind if I…?”
“You’ll have to get through that beast of a boss first,” she warned.
“Leave it to me.” I was in such a good mood, no one was gonna rain on my parade. Not even cranky-pants Cheryl.
�
��Why, Mr. Oskin,” I interrupted. “Didn’t your momma ever tell you not to speak to a lady that way?”
Disarm and charm. Disarm and charm. Not Bryce. I’d already charmed and disarmed him. Cheryl was going to be one tough nut to crack.
This was made crystal clear to me when she greeted me with, “Perhaps today is not a good day for a visit, Cookie.” Ooo, the way she said my name was like venom shooting off her tongue.
Then—and it was another one of those moments I would never forget—Mr. Bryce Oskin stood up from his wheelchair and said quietly, “You apologize to Ms. Clare, right now, ma’am. You don’t, me and my money are gonna move along to another facility. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with me. I was ignorin’ ya this morning. You’ve had a stick up your ass since your husband left you, and the only solution to that problem is for you to remember the woman you were before you married that ass-fucker and find someone else. I’m old, I’m pissed off, and you’ve achieved your goal at makin’ everyone in here as miserable as you. Congratulations. Now, apologize to Ms. Clare, and leave me the fuck alone.”
Cheryl’s bottom lip quivered as she calmly turned and left the common room.
“You were pretty rough on her,” I told him as I put my bag on the little end table.
He sat back down, visibly exhausted from the effort it took to stand up and stand-off with Cheryl. After a few contemplative minutes passed between us, he said, “I was married to the same woman for over forty years. Every time she’d see an older single woman, she’d say, ‘So glad I found a good man.’ I never got that until now. Now I get it. I suppose you hit a certain age, life gets harder. So, whaddya bring me, cookie?”
I left Bryce with slices of German chocolate cake and coconut cream pie. I then made an excuse that I had to pee, left him, and asked Ruby where I could find Cheryl. She motioned to the fire exit which was propped open – a huge no no, especially with some of the residents bordering on dementia.
“Cheryl?”
She was sitting outside, her blazer lying on the back of a bench, a cigarette dangling between her teeth. “What do you want?” she asked, but her bitchiness had disappeared. In its place was resignation.
The Morbid and Sultry Tales of Genevieve Clare Page 9
