She wrapped her good hand around her coffee and left her hand in the brace on her lap. “Well, there was the one time he decided to use the spaghetti sauce to paint the bathroom.”
Beck let out a laugh. “Really? Sounds like me and Mason—we dumped Spaghetti-O’s down the slide to make it slicker.” A smile lifted the corner of Rachel’s mouth. He liked seeing it there, so he asked, “What else has this little monster gotten into?”
Getting her to talk about Chaz seemed to relax her. She talked about his first word—which had been dog, not mama or daddy—and his first step. Beck’s gut tightened. He hadn’t seen either of those things.
Anger flashed through him—Rachel had robbed him of those things by hiding his son from him. His hands tightened on his knife and fork. The stillness next to him pulled him back from the heat gathering in his chest. He glanced down at Chaz.
The kid had pancake syrup on his chin and worry in his eyes. Beck had to let out a smile. The kid looked on his way to being a mess. Glancing over at Rachel, he asked, “Okay, I give up on this one—how do you deal with this?” He waved his fork at Chaz. “I swear he keeps ending up wearing more food than he eats.”
Leaning over, Rachel wiped a thumb across Chaz’s cheek. “He really shouldn’t eat this much sugar. He’s going to be ready for a nap soon.”
Beck frowned. “Are you serious? Middle of the morning.”
She glanced at him and he saw the worry shadow her eyes. That did it. He was going to have to have a talk with her—and then do a search online about Chaz’s condition. What had she called it? Anemia of some kind? Aspastic? Aphasia? He couldn’t remember—but he was going to have to learn all about it and fast.
Putting down his silverware, he glanced over at Rachel. “If you’re done, we should get back. And once he’s sleeping, we’re going to have a talk. A long one.”
Chapter 14
Chaz was already asleep by the time they got back to the Burton’s home. Beck pulled him out of the car seat and Rachel’s heart tightened. She looked away, but had to look back. Beck was so careful with him now, and Chaz lay limp in Beck’s arm, his head resting on Beck’s wide chest and his hands limp.
Glancing at her, Beck asked, “Do all kids fall asleep that fast? Or is it just…?”
Rachel let out a breath and touched a finger to Chaz’s leg. “It’s his condition. Do you want me to—? ”
“What did I say about that arm?” Beck shook his head, “And I want to hear more about what’s going on with him. Bed first for him.” He carried Chaz into the house and into his bedroom. Rachel grabbed Chaz’s stuffed dog—Chaz wanted a dog more than anything, but and if he’d been a healthy boy she would have gotten him a puppy.
But puppies grew up—and they could be rowdy and strong. Right now she couldn’t trust that Chaz wouldn’t be hurt. She tucked Chaz’s doggy into his arms and kissed his cheek. And she wondered if she was being too protective of him. But he was all she had right now. She couldn’t lose him.
Leaving the door open a crack, she headed back to the kitchen. But she found Beck out on the back porch. He gestured to a French door he’d left open. “That leads into Chaz’s room. You’ll hear if he wakes.” Beck waved to a rattan chair. Rachel sat down, her injured arm cradled in her lap. The sun felt good on her shoulders, but a chill caught at her insides. Beck looked grim—his face set and she wondered how he would react. Would he lose his temper as they talked?
She dove in and started to explain what she knew about the illness Chaz suffered. She had talked with the doctors, and had then done more research online.
“You can’t even imagine how much energy he has some days. Before he got sick, there were days I would pray for him to sleep just another half an hour. Now…” Throat tight, she broke off the words. She didn’t want to think about the endless tests, the slow way Chaz seemed to be fading. Rachel sighed. “Chaz has been so sick, and until I know he’s not going to get worse,” she broke off, and shook her head.”
Beck leaned forward. “What’s wrong with him? I thought you said it was curable?”
Rachel nodded. “It is. Most of the time. But nothing’s for certain. It’s a bone marrow disease—the blood cells—well, he doesn’t make enough of them. Usually it shows up in people in their teens or twenties, but it’s also usually caused by some infection, or drugs, or chemical exposure, like with radiation treatment for cancer. But it can be hereditary. And Chaz…he’s like a lot of other cases…the doctors just don’t know what caused it. He’s on immunosuppressive drugs right now—and that means even a cold could be bad for him. But that’s the first step to finding a marrow donor match. That would give his body the ability to make the blood cells he needs.”
Beck straightened. “Okay, so you need a donor. Mason, Bryant and I can head in today to get tested. And then we do the deal and he’s cured?”
Looking away, Rachel swallowed. Beck made it sound so easy. “Untreated, Chaz could die. Even treated…there’s about a seventy percent survival rate. The younger he is, the better his chances.”
Beck pushed out a loud breath and Rachel glanced at him. “Seventy…hell, Rachel, why didn’t you call me before this?”
She hugged herself. “I…Chaz’s diagnosis came in about a month ago. We…you wouldn’t believe all the testing. And the donation…that’s not going to be fun for anyone. They’ll probably take it from the back of your pelvic bone.” She rubbed her lower back. “They tested me first and I can still feel it at times.”
“Are you serious?”
She nodded. “You’ll be almost fully recovered in about three months or so, but it can take up to a year for all the side effects to go away, and that includes fatigue, pain, headaches, dizziness, and—”
“Whoa.” He held up a hand. “You’re telling me this could put me out for a year?”
Rachel pressed her lips tight. “A year of your life for all of Chaz—that didn’t sound so bad to me.”
“Rachel, I make my living with fighting. If I’m not fighting, I’m broke.”
She stood up and walked to the edge of the patio. When she turned, she found Beck standing next to her. Her pulse quickened. Silly that him just standing there could make her feel just as she once had—all shivery inside. “It doesn’t have to be you. You said Mason’s a trainer now—he could be a match. Or Bryant.”
Frowning, Beck shook his head. “My son. My problem. We’ll start with me. But…hell, a year off. I’m just trying to wrap my head around it. And I still…dammit, Rachel, why didn’t you contact me after he was born? I…I’m still trying to figure that one out.” Rachel braced one hand on the iron of the patio railing. The sun beat down on her, hot now.
She wanted to scoot away, but there was no place to go. Beck leaned in closer. His shadow fell over her and his scent wrapped around her. “Come on, Rach. Answer me. Why didn’t you call me, or come see me with him before now? Were you really that scared of me?”
Rachel turned to face him. “You never met my dad. He was a great guy—sometimes. He’d take me to the park, buy me dolls, and then…I wish I could blame it on him drinking, but he didn’t drink. He just…just lost it at times. It was worse when he wasn’t working—he was a carpenter and work was seasonal, and when he wasn’t working.” She shivered. “He’d hit my mom…hit me.”
Beck’s hand curled tight around the railing. “Good thing I never met him.”
“Beck, you punched out a wall. That’s how it started with my dad. Walls first. Faces later. And every time he was sorry. He’d be so very sorry. And he’d buy me more dolls, and be so nice…until the next time. And the next time was always worse. And finally—my mom had enough. She left him. She figured out how to disappear so he wouldn’t find us.”
“Dammit, I knew she knew where you’d gone—she helped you disappear from me, didn’t she.”
Rachel lifted her chin. “We heard years later that my dad died of a heart attack. Fell right over during one of his rages. Do you have any idea what it was like grow
ing up with that? I swore…swore I’d never stay with a man like that. And I won’t have Chaz growing up with a guy who has those kinds of issues.”
Turning, Beck put both hands on the patio railing. He stared out at the Utah desert and mountains. Rachel turned as well.
He glanced at her. “I’m sorry for that. I know… I was out of control.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you get it—my dad was always sorry, too.”
“But he didn’t change. I get that, Rach. I know nothing I can say can take away the hurt I caused you. I just want you to understand that I reacted. I didn’t think. And I’m a different guy now.”
“Really? How do I know that’s true? How can I trust that, Beck? How can I trust you?”
Beck cupped her cheek. “You give me a second chance. It’s a risk, but what isn’t. You owe it to me—to Chaz to try—don’t you? Hell, you owe it to yourself, Rach.”
She stared at him, her heart quickening and her breath caught in her chest. Just being this close to him was tempting her. She wanted to lean even closer. She wanted to rest her head on Beck’s chest the way Chaz had. She wanted to close her eyes and have everything be okay again.
But she knew she had to face this with her eyes open. “I want to believe you, Beck. Really, I do. I just don’t know…my dad may have beaten the trust out of me, Beck. I’m not sure I can get past that. I don’t want you walking on eggshells for me—and I don’t want Chaz growing up in a house full of tension and uncertainty.”
Beck dropped his hand to hers and took her fingers in his. “Let’s focus on just making sure Chaz does grow up—and then we’ll deal with the rest.”
Chapter 15
Rachel’s cell phone rang. She dug it out of her purse and sat down on the couch in the den. Next to her Chaz was sitting on a giant recliner, a game controller held in both pudgy hands as he struggled with it.
His tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth, and his concentration seemed fierce and total. Rachel had the place to herself—the Burton brothers had gone to the hospital to arrange bone marrow testing, and Alice and Avery had gone out shopping, saying Chaz needed a few things. Rachel had been too tired to argue.
Now she answered her phone, expecting it to be Beck, instead a bright, familiar voice came on the line. “Rachel? That you?”
She sat up. “Jasmine? Good to hear from you. Everything okay?”
“Holding down the fort, but the apartment seems empty without you. How are things going? Do I need to hunt down that no-good Beck? Has he been causing you or that precious little boy of yours more pain?”
Rachel had to smile. “Slow down, girlfriend. It’s a long story.” Rachel started into everything that had happened. She’d known Jasmine since high school. After Rachel’s mom had helped her slip away from Beck, she’d moved to Vegas.
Jasmine lived there and Rachel went from looking for her own place to moving in with Jasmine. Rachel wasn’t sure how she would have gotten through the last couple of months without her help.
There was a pause, and Jasmine let out a gusty sigh. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be bashing on the guy without even having met him. I just keep thinking of all those nights you cried over him. I was starting to think MMA meant mean mega-asshole.”
Rachel forced a small laugh. “He’s in getting tests done—him and his brothers. He’s going to be sore for a more than a few days. Chaz…well, I can’t say I know he’s going to be okay, but it’s a step.”
“And you?” Jasmine’s voice dropped. “How are you doing seeing him again?”
Wishing I could jump into bed with him. Wanting him so much my teeth ache. Rachel shifted the phone to her other ear. “The guy still looks like a hunk—how do you think I’m doing.”
“Stay strong. Take an aspirin if you need it.”
“How will that help?”
“You tuck it between your knees and don’t let go.”
Rachel laughed again—this time it sounded better to her. “I miss you, girlfriend.”
“Yeah, well, you call if you need anything, okay? I can hop on a flight and be there in no time.”
“I might take you up on that.” She hung up, but she wished Jasmine was here.
Chaz finally got bored of his game, so Rachel took him into the kitchen to fix them both lunch. She found cans of soup, bread and cold cuts in the fridge, which now seemed to be stocked almost to overflowing. Earlier, a housekeeper had come by to make beds, do laundry and tidy up. Feeling awkward and in the way, Rachel had gone out to the patio. Chaz had wanted to go into the hot tub, but she kept him busy by telling him a story instead.
Making sandwiches with a bum arm took more work and time than she’d ever known. But she managed to get something in front of Chaz. He ate three bites and gave a huge yawn. “You ready for a nap?” she asked.
Chaz shook his head—and yawned again.
Taking him into his room, she settled him under a blanket. He threw it off and sat up. She tempted him with his stuffed doggy, but that didn’t work, either. His eyelids were heavy, and Rachel knew the signs. He was headed for over-tired, cranky, and tears wouldn’t be far behind.
Just when she was about ready to give up coaxing him into bed, she heard a car. The front door opened and voices lifted. Chaz bolted out of bed, heading at a toddling run for the living room. Rachel followed him.
Alice and Avery had come back, along with the guys. The house was suddenly full of noise and talking, and Chaz was reaching up for Beck.
“Hey, scout. What’s up?” Beck scooped up Chaz without effort. Avery took Chaz from him, producing an MMA action figure. Mason scooped him out of Avery’s arms and settled him on the floor, putting down a set of cars and trucks in front of him. Then Alice and Bryant were bending over him, Alice with story books and Bryant with a set of building blocks.
Arms crossed, Rachel told them, “I am going to have one spoilt child here.”
Grinning, Alice looked up. “Only until he has new babies to give him competition. Besides, I looked up that procedures he needs. He’s going to be in the hospital for way too long.”
Frowning, Beck came over to Rachel. “Is that true?”
She nodded. “That’s why I made a deal with him. No more hospitals until he’s got to go in. When do you get the test results?”
“Couple of days,” Mason said, heading into the kitchen and wrapping his arms around Avery’s waist. “Meaning we have time for a bar-be-que. And let me tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve had a Burton bar-be-que.”
Everything seemed to shift to the patio. Mason lit up the gas grill, Beck settled on the brick with Chaz and his building blocks and cars—it looked like they were constructing a garage. Avery and Alice started to carry out plates and set the table. When Rachel asked what she could do, Bryant pointed to a chair. “Relax, and keep yourself out of the traffic flow. Trust me, when the girls get going you’ll want to duck out.”
Rachel found out what he meant after they’d eaten. Alice and Avery had gone shopping for Chaz. Shoes, T-shirts, pants, new underwear with Batman on them, shorts, sandals—if there was something they hadn’t bought for him, Rachel didn’t know what it was.
“I can’t…we can’t—” Rachel said, stammering out the words.
Beck swung an arm over her shoulders. “You can. For Chaz, you damn well can. Now be the sweet girl I know you can be and say thank you, Auntie Alice and Auntie Avery.”
The two women grinned, and Rachel dug an elbow into Beck’s ribs. She turned to Alice and Avery. “Thank you. I’ll pay you back for everything.”
“No you won’t.” Coming over, Avery swung her long braid over her back. She took Rachel’s hands. “We’re making up for missed birthdays and Christmas, and besides Chaz is going to try out everything we want to buy for our kids when they come.”
Chaz never got his nap, but by eight he was asleep on the couch. Rachel took him to bed. He’d have to miss his bath tonight. Once he was in his new jammies, his doggy tucked into his arms, s
he stood over him, watching him sleep. She heard a floorboard creak and turned to see Beck. He came up to her side.
“He’s going to be okay, Rach.”
Tears started to fill her eyes. She sniffed them back. “You don’t know that.”
“I do. You don’t become a fighter because you see other guys punching your lights out. You see yourself winning. We need to see Chaz winning—see him strong and running around like the hellion a Burton is supposed to be at his age.”
She glanced up at him, a tight band around her chest. She knew then she would never stop loving this man. This was the Beck she’d fallen for—the guy who could say things like this. The guy who had been playing a video game with his son this morning.
It seemed the most natural thing in the world to lean toward him, to stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek, and then his lips. His arms came around her.
She sighed as he kissed her, placing little butterfly kisses along her jaw line, behind her ear, and then back to her lips. He stroked his fingers over her face, and she tangled her tongue with his as he deepened the kiss.
Pulling back, she whispered, her voice thick, “Your brothers.”
“Are out. Mason’s teaching at the dojo tonight and Avery went out to dinner with Bryant and Alice. We’ve got the place to ourselves.” He swept her up in his arms. “And, honey, if you don’t let me make love to you, I think I’m going to explode. Please…please, Rach. I need you.”
She glanced in his eyes and saw the truth. It had hit him harder than he’d let on, but the tests today—they would make it real. She knew about that. After Chaz had first been diagnosed, she’d gone straight to denial. It hadn’t been until she’d been tested for a marrow match that she realized the pain her little boy was going to have to face—because it was that or facing even worse.
She wrapped an arm around Beck’s neck. She could do this—for tonight, she could. “I need you, too, Beck. But are you sure?”
The Fighter's Secret Child (The Burton Brothers Series Book 3) Page 6
