by Jen Talty
“I can’t believe this,” she mumbled. “I booked this cabin months ago.”
“I don’t think having you and your son, or Mr. Jameson, staying in the lobby would be acceptable to either of you. I know this isn’t an ideal situation, but the cabin you are in is a three-bedroom, one of our largest. For as long as you and Mr. Jameson have to share the accommodations, there will be no charge, and I have refunded the ski package and added extra lift passes for you. I’ve done the same for Mr. Jameson.”
Olivia opened her mouth three or four times to interrupt, not that the man gave her a chance since he spoke a mile a minute. “You mentioned the day after Christmas there will be an opening?”
“Yes, ma’am. A one-bedroom cabin up the road. I’m sure Mr. Jameson will find it suitable. If they open the roads, and one of the other hotels has an opening, I will let you know first thing.”
“Thank you.” What else could she say? Mistakes happen, and they had basically just saved her two thousand dollars.
Hopefully, Mr. Grumpy-Pants wouldn’t be too difficult.
“I’ll be calling Mr. Jameson next.”
“Don’t bother. He’s in the next room. I will give him the message.”
“He can call if he has any questions.”
She tapped her cell before dropping it in her purse. She had three more suitcases, four bags of groceries, and a couple of boxes of presents to get out of her car.
And the tree.
The damn freaking tree. What the hell had she been thinking when she bought the damn thing and watched four strapping teenagers pile it up on her car and tied it down?
She glanced over her shoulder. The wind howled, and the snow flew from the sky in a sideways motion. If she didn’t empty her car now, she might not be able to get to it.
“Hey, Mom. This is a smart TV. Can I punch in our Netflix account?”
“Absolutely, but after you help me unload the car.”
“Do I have to?” He tossed the remote on the coffee table and scuffed across the room, his hands dropping to his sides and his chin to his chest.
“Yes, you do, young man. And if we want that tree up in this room, we better at least drag it from the top of the car to the porch.” She zipped up her parka. “I’m just going to go let Mr. Jameson know we’re kind of stuck with each other.”
“Cool. Did you hear him say he was a SEAL? Wonder if he knew Daddy.”
Olivia’s heart lurched to her throat. She’d seen the rucksack, and she thought she might have heard something about the Navy, but she’d been so dumbstruck over the double-booking, she hadn’t processed it.
“Daddy wasn’t a SEAL.”
“But Daddy was in the Navy.” Noah slipped his arms through his parka, yanking up the zipper.
“As are thousands and thousands of other men and women in the Navy. Besides, your dad was a pilot on an aircraft carrier. SEALs aren’t deployed to those ships, so it’s not likely, and don’t go pestering Mr. Jameson with a million questions. He’s here on vacation, and I doubt he wants to talk about his work.” No. She got the impression that Ryder wanted to drown himself in a bottle of whiskey. She had no idea why, and she wasn’t about to ask. As long as he didn’t do it in front of her kid, they could easily co-exist.
She hoped.
Of course, she’d have to stop gawking at him first. His dark hair was cut short to his scalp with that little flip top in the front that all seamen wore.
The flat-top.
She smiled at the memory of Jason and how he wore the haircut with pride. He loved being a pilot for the Navy and serving his country. It gave her some solace that he died doing something he enjoyed so much and knowing he saved lives.
“You go ahead and start bringing the bags inside. Leave them right by the door. I don’t want you to go traipsing all that snow through the cabin.”
Noah nodded and headed out the door, bouncing down the steps.
She often wished she could have dated more than she had over the last few years. Not because she was lonely, but Noah had recently lost both his grandfathers and he had no other male role models in his life. Unfortunately, none of the men she had met had made her heart beat faster or her palms grow sweaty. Maybe at thirty-four, that didn’t happen anymore. What did she know? She’d met her husband when they’d been sixteen, and he’d been the only man she’d ever known.
Ever loved.
Needing a few deep, cleansing breaths, Olivia eased down the hallway. Gently, she tapped on the door. “Mr. Jameson?”
“Door’s open.” His muffled voice still came out in a gruff grunt.
“Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Jameson.” Her hand trembled as she twisted the knob, and she thought her heart might thump right out of her chest. She gasped as she blinked a few times.
“The name is Ryder.” He sat on the bed, leaning on a couple of propped up pillows, in a white T-shirt that hugged his chiseled chest and abs like a wetsuit. His biceps bulged against the thin fabric. His jeans fit loose over his waist, and he had his feet crossed at the ankles. But it was his dark, empty, blue eyes that made her swallow her voice.
“I take it you heard from the hotel.” He downed the rest of his drink and poured another.
“Unfortunately, we are stuck with each other. We get the cabin for free and all our ski passes as well.”
“That’s something.” He raised his glass and sipped.
“I want to first thank you for your service.”
“You’re welcome.”
She nodded. “I’m not one to judge, but I have a young, impressionable son, and I know I have no right to ask, but I don’t want to spend Christmas with someone who is going to be drunk the entire time.”
Ryder arched a brow and cocked his head. “I’ll keep my drinking to this bedroom, if you don’t mind that I keep this room to myself.”
She shook her head. “I’m sure the two upstairs will be fine for myself and Noah.”
He set the glass on the nightstand. “I promise to behave around your son. But I won’t be here much. I’ll be skiing all day, and at night, I’ll bring my dinner in here and leave you to your holiday.”
“My son might ask you some questions. I’ve told him not to, but he’s a boy and his father was in the Navy, so he’s naturally curious about your career.”
“I’m sure his dad’s told him all sorts of exciting things.”
She bit down on her lower lip, keeping in the sob that always echoed in her throat when she told people what had happened to Jason. It wasn’t just that she was a widow that made people look at her with pity, it was that Noah had never met his dad.
People heard that and they dropped their head to the side, gasped, or made some moaning noise, shaking their head and saying, “That poor boy.”
Noah was well-adjusted enough, and she did her very best to give him as much knowledge about his father as she could. She didn’t want people’s pity, and she didn’t want that for her son.
“That’s just it. Noah never met his father. Jason was shot down nine years ago in Operation Saturn.” She choked on the mission name. The two words she almost never spoke, and she shouldn’t have told Ryder any of this.
“Jesus Christ.” Ryder stood, scratching the back of his head. “Ten good men died in that operation.” He snapped his gaze to hers, and the gravity of his pain stabbed her heart into a million more pieces.
“Did you know those men? My husband? Captain Jason Tate?”
“No, ma’am. I did not. My SEAL team, however, was in the area and deployed on a different—”
“Fifteen men were rescued during that operation,” she mumbled. She never once wished those men could have traded places with her husband. Not for one single second. She did, however, wished her Jason had survived, but she’d been told that he’d been hit numerous times by gunfire, and she was lucky they’d been able to bring his body home.
She didn’t know how that was lucky. Jason was dead, and nothing would ever bring his soul back to her.
“Did you rescue them? Were you part of the rescue team?”
Ryder shook his head. “There were three SEAL teams deployed in the area. Mine wasn’t part of that rescue, but we were there and knew of dogfight in the sky and the troops on the ground that lost their lives that day.”
“You probably can’t tell me what really happened that day, can you?”
“No, ma’am. I can’t.”
She reached into the back of her mind, pulling out the one memory she wanted to banish from her brain forever, but it was impossible because it was literally both the worst day and best day of her life. “I was eight months pregnant. We were living in base housing. You know, those horrible ugly apartments that you think can make a home until you’re in one, but once you leave, you miss it more than you could have ever imagined.”
“I lived in one of those for a bit.”
She folded her arms across her middle, biting back the tears. “I was sitting in the yard with a few other wives when the Chaplin came. It’s never good when he comes with two officers.”
“No, ma’am, it’s not.” Ryder leaned against the tall dresser by the door, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. His eyes still carried an emptiness, but somewhere behind whatever darkness he battled, lurked a kindness she needed right about now.
“I went into labor right then and there, and three hours later, Noah was born. I hated the name Noah, but it was Jason’s father’s name. The name Jason wanted. And it meant the world to his family, so that’s what I called our son. Noah Jason.” Hot tears seared her cheeks. She swiped them away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you all that. But my son probably would have told you that his dad died before he was born and pummeled you with questions about the Navy, so best you hear it from me than him. But please don’t tell him you know anything about that operation.”
Ryder lowered his chin in a single nod of his head. “I can’t say anything about what I know happened over there, but I can tell you without a doubt, your husband was a true hero. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Shaking out her hands, she did what she always did and shoved everything to the side. She had a son to raise, and she’d promised him a Christmas filled with tradition and snow skiing, and that is exactly what she planned on giving him. “I’m going to go finish getting my things. I’ve got to get Noah to bed soon since he does have a full day of lessons ahead of him tomorrow, hopefully.”
“Do you need any help?”
“No. I’m good. Thanks.”
Right, because she could handle one six-foot tree all by her little self.
“Fuck.”
Ryder sat down on the bed and covered his face with his palms, his fingers scratching at three days’ worth of stubble. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, it got about as worse as it could get.
He might not have ever met her husband, but Jason Tate’s excellent fighter pilot skills, along with a few others from his squadron, paved the way for Ryder’s SEAL team to take out an enemy cell and capturing three known terrorists. A top secret mission that had its own set of problems, but had it not been for Tate, Ryder probably would be dead.
Now wasn’t that a real shit kicker?
That was before he’d ever met and married Melissa.
Ryder often let his mind wander back to dangerous missions. If he had died before he’d met and married Melissa, she’d still be alive. Granted, their son, Owen, would have never been born.
But wouldn’t that have been better than them being gunned down in a mass shooting while he’d been deployed? He could protect the country, but he hadn’t been able to save his own wife and child.
Life didn’t get much worse than that.
Melissa would have his head served on a platter if she knew he was letting Olivia fetch her own bags in a snowstorm from hell.
Fuck.
Shit.
Crap.
Not only would he have to put the plug in the jug, he was going to have to make sure he watched his language until he could secure new quarters.
He took the whiskey bottle, making sure the cap closed tightly, and put it on the shelf in the closet behind his suitcase. Snagging a pair of socks and a sweater, he made his way to the front of the house, nearly tripping on three extra-large suitcases, a shit ton of groceries, and boxes of God only knew what. Light packer, Oliver was not.
Peering out the window, his jaw fell open. Olivia and her son had untied the tree on top of the car, and it appeared they just might attempt to take care of that sucker themselves.
He yanked open the door. “Wait,” he called, shoving his feet into his boots, tossing his sweater to the side. Taking the steps two at a time, his body jerked and skidded across the slippery wood planks. The thick snow clung to his jeans. “Let me get that.”
Snowflakes as large as mothballs landed on his eyelashes. He blinked, but the damn things stuck to them worse than what his sister would call clumpy mascara, making it difficult for him to see.
“Open the door, Noah. Stand on the ledge and push it toward me,” Olivia called.
“What? Are you crazy?” That was the dumbest thing Ryder had ever heard. If Noah did that, the damn tree would land right on top of Olivia, crushing her. Ryder leapt around the back of her SUV just in time to shove her out of the way.
“Hey. What the heck?” Her voice crackled in his ears.
“Noah, don’t push,” Ryder said, but it was too late. As strong he was, he couldn’t get a good grip on the tree, and it tumbled on top of him, shoving his back into the cold… wet… …snow.
He shivered as snow cubes formed on his thin T-shirt.
Laughter erupted, filling the night sky as more snow landed on his face.
“Oh, my, God.” Olivia must have managed to get to her feet as she stood over him with her hand covering her mouth. “Are you okay?”
“Other than my manhood slithering away, I’m fine.” He pushed the tree to the side, jumping to his feet, and shook like a dog. However, the snow didn’t flip off his body like he’d hoped. “You got a stand for this thing?”
“Yeah. It’s in one of the boxes inside.” Noah appeared in front of him with a big old smile. “You look like a real live snowman.”
“I feel like one.” Ryder shivered. “Do you know how to set it up?”
Noah nodded like a bobblehead doll. Damn if the kid wasn’t too cute for his own good.
“Well, then. Why don’t you go do that while your mom and I bring in the tree.”
Noah put his hands on his knees and roared with laughter. “I think you’re expecting too much of my mom. She had to hire—”
“Noah Jason Tate. That’s enough. Now please go inside and make sure you don’t bring in a ton of snow.”
“Yes, Mother.” Noah turned and stomped through the snow, his arms swaying at his sides.
Ryder had to give the boy chops for listening to his mom so quickly and doing what she asked. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be a single parent.
A pang of guilt thumped in his chest. He’d left Melissa to essentially raise their son. They had decided last year that he’d retire from the military and find another career that didn’t require long deployments.
But life had changed drastically just days later, and now he didn’t think he’d ever leave.
There was no life outside of the Navy for him anymore.
“I take it you needed help to get the tree on top of the car?” Ryder questioned with a teasing tone as he lifted the tree up on its stump.
“I plead the fifth.”
Ryder laughed. “Just get the door for me. I think I can handle it from here.”
“If you don’t freeze to death first.” She reached out and brushed some snow off his shoulders. The heat from her gentle hands made his breath hitch.
“It’s not cold,” he teased as he took her long braid in his hand, letting the silky strands fill his fingers.
“I should get the door.”
He held the tree, the pine tickling
his skin, as he eyed her racing toward the front door. Her hips filled out her dark slacks, sending signals to places that hadn’t been jumpstarted in a long time.
Letting out a long sigh, he dragged the tree up the porch. He peeked in the window, catching a glimpse of Olivia in a red sweater that hugged her round curves a little too closely while she helped with the tree stand.
He shook off the tree, kicked the snow off his boots, and stepped inside. “I could use a little help guiding the stump into the base.”
“I’m really good at that.” Noah spread out a red blanket around the tree stand.
The last Christmas tree that Ryder had anything to do with, he’d tossed to the curb with all the decorations and lights still attached. His neighbor, knowing his wife well, suggested he take some of the ornaments as he might like them someday since Melissa had always gone overboard with decorations.
He told his neighbor to fuck off and mind her own business.
If he ever saw her again, he owed her an apology.
It took ten minutes to secure the tree in the exact spot that made both Noah and his mother smile.
And that made Ryder’s heart swell and tighten at the same time.
Standing there looking at mother and son, he was reminded of all he’d lost, and yet, a tickle of joy inched into his mind, telling him that some people had a whole lot to live for.
“I’m going to go take a hot shower and call it a night. I plan on leaving early so I’m the first one on the slopes. I’ll do my best to be quiet.” Without giving either of them a chance to say a word, Ryder slipped off into the master bedroom. Quietly, he closed the door and leaned against the wall, covering his eyes with his forearm.
He couldn’t have a merry Christmas, but no reason to ruin it for Noah.
Or Olivia.
3
All Olivia had to do was get her son to the lodge, which was in walking distance from the cabin.
Only there was at least two feet of snow on the ground, and it was still coming down. She looked out the window over the kitchen sink. It was seven in the morning, and the slopes didn’t open until eight. She had checked the website and sure enough, regardless that the snow had barely let up, the slopes would be open.
