by Jen Talty
“You wouldn’t dare?”
His grin turned serious as he licked his lips. His gaze darting from her mouth to her eyes.
“If you’re son wasn’t standing right over us, I sure would,” he whispered.
“I’ll turn around,” Noah exclaimed. “Though I’ve seen people kissing before. Looks gross, but whatever.”
“Ryder was just teasing.” She sucked in a breath, rolling to her side.
Ryder was up before she barely managed to get to a sitting position. With a little too much ease, he bent over and yanked her to her feet. She stumbled when he let go and nearly fell over again.
“My mom is usually more coordinated.” Noah leaned forward, nodding. “She’s actually doing really well, but she’s still afraid of the chairlift. She’s fallen getting on.”
“I’m not surprised.” Ryder collected their skis, setting hers down next to her.
“Gee, thanks a lot for the vote of confidence.”
“I’m teasing you.” He batted her nose.
Her cheeks flushed, but she wasn’t sure if was due to feeling a tingle of excitement everywhere that made her a woman? Or because she was utterly horrified he’d done that in front of Noah.
“Let’s go up to the top. There is a green circle trail that loops into this one.” Ryder twisted, pointing over his shoulder
“No way.” She shook her head vehemently. “I know it’s steeper. I can barely handle this little one. I’ll break my leg or something.”
“It’s not steeper, just longer and I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you.” Ryder gave her a little shove toward the chairlift, though he kept his arm around her waist.
“This coming from the guy who just nearly killed me.”
“Excuse me? You’re the one who dropped a tree on me and just now—”
“Sorry to interrupt,” Noah interjected. “But my mom has that look that if you keep going, she’s going to get really mad and trust me, you don’t want to see her like that.”
“Noah Jason Tate, you better watch it, young man,” she said, glaring at her son, even though he was right.
“Let’s just head over to the other chairlift.” Ryder scooted in front of her. “Just hold onto my pole, and I’ll pull you over there.”
She coughed on the sexual innuendo, even though she knew by his red cheeks he hadn’t meant it the way it sounded.
The closer he dragged her to the quad chairlift, the stronger the fluttering in her stomach became. Her heart thumped fast, and her chest tightened the second she looked up. She couldn’t see where the chairlift ended as it stretched up high.
The three of them stood in line, inching forward. Noah and Ryder talked about all Noah had learned in his lessons, and what he was working on. Olivia not only didn’t understand half of it, she barely heard them because of how loud her pulse beat. It was as if she could hear the roar of her blood racing through her veins.
A single person joined the line, asking if he could ride up with them.
Of course Noah and Ryder readily agreed.
“This one goes so much faster,” she whispered.
Ryder pointed to the person helping people on. “See how it slows down. No different than the other one. When I say sit, just sit.” He took her poles from her as they slid forward down in front of the chairlift. “Look over your shoulder and now… wait… okay, sit.”
As soon as her ass hit the padding she grabbed hold of the side, and Ryder’s hand pressed against her mid-section. The chair jerked as it picked up speed.
“I need you to move your hands so I can lower the bar.”
“I’ll fall if I let go.”
He chuckled. “No, you won’t.”
Holding her breath, she let go and the bar clunked down. She let out her breath in one long swoosh. “I haven’t been able to get off without falling.”
“Just don’t take me with you,” Ryder said, laughing.
“Asshole,” she mumbled, leaning across to look at her son, who had engaged the single rider in conversation. “I’ve always been shy and reserved. He’s neither.”
“A personality trait that will get him both in trouble and cause him great success.” Ryder rested his hand on the back of the chairlift. “I’m sorry I knocked you over. I don’t know why I thought you’d know it was me.”
“Apology accepted, but remember, payback is a bitch.”
Ryder tried really hard not to laugh as he glanced in Olivia’s direction just as he lifted the bar.
Her face scrunched tight with determination.
“Remember. Go slightly to your right, getting out of the way for the next riders.” He pointed to a grouping of trees. “Stop right over there.”
“More like crash, but okay.” She took her poles as she scooted her butt to the edge of the seat.
“I’ll be right behind you.”
“Better than in front of me.”
He gave her a little shove as soon as her skis hit the snow.
She let out a little yelp as she managed to turn right, her skis pushed far apart. Her legs had to be sore as hell.
“Mom! You didn’t fall.” Noah flew by Ryder like a pro. “That was awesome! I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m a little proud of myself, but Ryder helped a little.”
“I didn’t do anything,” he said, staring at the small, but steep, section they had to go down to get to the trail he wanted. “I kind of forgot about one thing.” He raised his pole.
“Holy, mother, Mary. I can’t go down that.”
“Sure, you can. Just snowplow. It’s not that far.” Noah turned his skis so they pointed in that direction.
“But it’s steep. Normally they have that trail open which is really easy, but it’s closed off for some reason.” Ryder skied up behind Olivia, putting her between his legs. “Hold onto my pole.”
She glanced over her shoulder.
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Not where I was going with that. I’m not going down the hill. I’ll kill myself, or someone else.”
“You’re going to ski between my legs, holding onto this.” He snagged both her poles, putting them in his hands in front of her. “I’m going to show you how to handle this. You’ll be able to do it by yourself the next time.”
“There won’t be a next time,” she mumbled.
“You can do it.” Noah waved. “Can I go to the fork? I’ll wait right there. Promise.”
“Go ahead. We’ll be right down,” Ryder said.
“No. Wait. You have to stay close.”
“Mom. I’ve done it five times already today. I know this trail. I won’t get lost and once you get over the edge, you’ll be able to see me.” Noah turned and in seconds, his body disappeared.
“Shit. I can’t do this.”
“Yes. You can. Trust me. We’re going to stay in this position but change edges as we zigzag down the hill.”
“My instructor worked with me on that, but I have a hard time in the stops when it gets steeper.”
He felt her back press into his chest as she took a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with.”
“That’s the spirit. Just feel what my body is doing and follow along.” He slowly inched to the top and before she could protest, he started down, going almost diagonally across the slope. “That’s it. We’re going to start the turn.”
“This is where I wipe out.”
“Relax. It’s just a matter of shifting weight and changing edges.” He took the turn quickly, so it didn’t feel like she was headed straight down. “There you go.” They took five more turns, and there had to be about three more before they got to the fork. Ryder brought them to a halt. “I think you’re ready.”
He maneuvered around her so he was standing right in front. He handed her a set of poles. “Just stay right behind me.”
“Are you crazy? I’ll knock you over.”
“Payback is a bitch,” he said with a teasing tone. “You’ve got this. Trust me.”
“Go, Mom!” Noah yelled, waving his pole in the air.
“Do it for him. Let him see you conquer yet another fear. Show him there isn’t anything he can’t do.”
Olivia nodded.
Ryder knew it was a shitty card to play, but she had more ability than she gave herself credit for.
Ryder started across the slope, constantly looking over his shoulder. A smile tugged at his lips, but a sadness filled his heart as he listed to Noah cheer his mother on with encouraging words.
What a great kid. Ryder knew he’d grow up to be a fine, young man. He had so many firsts still ahead of him in his life, and Ryder truly wished Noah had them and attacked the struggles in life with the same enthusiasm his young heart had right in this moment.
“Oh, my, God,” Olivia mumbled as she started her first turn.
“Put your weight on the inside edge,” Ryder called, impressed that she managed to stay right behind him.
“Sweet! Mom, you’re doing it! You look great.”
Ryder kept the pace nice and slow, enjoying the confidence that had begun to build as the tension eased from her face. It took two more turns to make it to the fork, where she managed to stop without falling, or any guidance from him.
His heart lurched to the back of this throat as he watched Noah give his mom a big fist pump.
“That was kind of amazing,” she said, pushing her goggles up on her helmet. “Thank you, Ryder. You really should be a ski instructor.”
He laughed. “That was my job in high school when I wasn’t racing for the ski team.”
“Well, you did such a good job, I think we can tackle that one again.”
“You’re the best mom ever!”
Ryder swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He gripped the poles tight to keep his shaking hands from being visible to everyone. A battle raged inside his mind, heart, and soul.
He wanted desperately to spend time with Olivia.
And her son.
He liked their company. Being in their presence had an easy rhythm to it, as if he’d known them for years.
At the same time, his heart ached for his son and wife. He missed them more than words could ever express.
Olivia had told him that it wouldn’t be like that forever. That it would just get different.
He wanted different and at the same time, he wanted to hold on to this pain, using it to keep the world—to keep people—at arm’s length.
“Ready?” Noah asked, snapping Ryder from his thoughts.
“Sure am. Why don’t you take the lead. Your mom and I will follow.”
“Just don’t go too fast,” Olivia said with a bright smile.
“Stop halfway down, by the other chairlift and wait there if you get too far ahead.” Ryder fell in line behind Olivia. He’d take a few more runs with them because it was the right thing to do, but after that? He’d find a bar, since some of the roads had opened up, and he’d spend his evening there, watching whatever game was on television. He’d get back to the cabin late and then leave before they got up.
But not until after he dropped off his presents.
7
“Mom! I can’t believe you got me this,” Noah exclaimed as he finished ripping off the wrapping paper that had hidden his brand-new Xbox. “You said you’d never let me have one.”
“I also said I’d never ski,” she laughed, leaning back in the chair, sipping her tea. For about five minutes, she’d been furious with Ryder for not coming back to the cabin until sometime after she and Noah had gone to bed. When she’d gotten up and padded downstairs, he’d already been gone, and it all came crashing down. The poor man had wanted to be alone.
To grieve.
The last thing he needed today, or tomorrow, was to spend one minute with her, or her son.
“Can we hook it up?”
“We can try,” she said, wrapping the scarf her son had gotten her around her neck.
“Wait. There is a present stuck in the tree.”
“No. There can’t be. We opened them all,” she said, setting her mug on the table.
Noah held up a small gift. “It’s for both of us.”
What had Ryder done?
Lowering herself to the floor, she moved closer to her son, sitting next to the fireplace. The wood crackled as the flames flicked upward. “Open it.” She didn’t think she’d be able to keep her hands from shaking.
Noah ripped open the gift in record time, flipping off the top of a box. “There’s a note,” Noah said, handing her a folded piece of paper. “And…” he pulled out what looked like the ski packages she’d been sent when she booked the place. “Mom! Mom!” Noah jumped to his feet. “It’s snowboarding lessons and ski lessons for next year.”
A single tear dribbled down her cheek. She wiped it before her son could see. “We have to thank him when he gets back tonight.”
“Yes, we do.” Even though she didn’t want to accept the gift, she wouldn’t insult Ryder by returning them, nor would she put that kind of disappointment on her son’s face.
“What does the note say?”
“Let’s find out.” Her fingers trembled as she stared at the handwriting. She cleared her throat and began to read it out loud.
Dear Olivia and Noah,
Merry Christmas and here’s to a new family tradition for you. Of course, I heard Noah talking about snowboarding, so his lessons are for that, but he can change them. You just have to let the ski school know. I’m sure he’ll pick that up just as fast.
As for you, well, I know you’ll be doing blue square trails next year, easily.
Also, I’ve reserved this cabin for you. I spoke to the manager and he assured me there won’t be any double-booking. He will send you all the details via your email later today. I’ve left a copy of the reservation in my room on the dresser, just so you have it for your records.
I know this is over the top, but I really wanted to do something special.
I have really enjoyed my time with both of you. Noah, you’re a great young man and your father would be so very proud. I can say that because while I never met him, we served in the same mission. He is why I’m still here.
She swallowed a sob.
Noah scooted closer, resting his head on her biceps.
Olivia. Wow. What a kind heart you have. You’re an amazing mom. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I think you will understand why. I found out late last night that a room in a hotel down the street has an opening, so I took it. I’m sorry that it might seem like I snuck out in the middle of the night. And maybe I did.
Perhaps a different time.
A different place.
Enjoy the rest of your stay here. I will always think back to this week with fond memories.
Your friend,
Ryder.
“He left?” Noah raced to the sofa under the big picture window. “Oh, my, gosh. Mom, look!”
Doing her best to keep from bawling like a baby, she padded across the room, noting that Ryder’s car wasn’t next to hers, but it was the huge snowman, at least eight feet tall, that stared at her with a smile. “Wow,” she mumbled.
“I’ve never seen such a snowman.” Noah flopped on the sofa, leaning back, dropping his head to the cushion. “Why did he leave?”
Wrapping her arms around Noah, she let out a long sigh. “Remember when you said it looked like he might be missing someone too?”
Noah nodded.
“Remember the mass shooting last year?” She hated bringing it up, but in her son’s world, this was a reality and while she did her best to protect him from the twenty-four-seven coverage, she couldn’t keep a news story of that nature from him, nor would she want to.
Noah looked at her, nodding.
“Ryder’s wife and son were two of the victims.”
Noah gasped, covering his mouth, tears pouring out of his eyes like a waterfall. “That’s so horrible.”
“It is, and I think Ryder just needed to be alone for a little while.”<
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“How will we thank him?”
“Well, why don’t you write him a note, and I’ll see if the manager of the hotel can get it to him at his new lodging.”
“Good idea. I’ll do it right now.”
Noah raced up the stairs, and she stared at the snowman. What the hell would she say in her thank you note?
8
Two days later…
Ryder blinked open his eyes. The dream faded into the recesses of his mind, but not the image.
Nor the message.
He’d seen his wife and son waving to him from a cloud, and it unnerved him. It wasn’t so much that he’d dreamt about them.
He’d done that more times than he could count. But as they waved, they walked in another direction, smiling.
And then his wife pointed.
In his dream, when he looked over his shoulder, he saw Olivia and Noah.
Waving.
When he thought of being with Olivia, it warmed his heart. It didn’t take away the pain of losing his family, and he now understood nothing ever would.
But he’d be doing both Melissa and Owen a disservice by spending the rest of his life in misery. That was no way to honor them.
Christmas had come and gone.
The day after Christmas had come and gone.
Ryder had spent his days skiing, avoiding the side of the mountain near the ski school, but hoping to get a glimpse of Olivia and Noah, wondering if they would venture off onto new slopes, knowing they probably wouldn’t.
He spent his nights at the pub down the street, eating burgers, having a couple of beers, just enough to make sleep come easy. Thanks to Olivia, he hadn’t felt the need to drown his sorrows, but to face them head on.
Like she had her entire life.
He reached for the envelope on the nightstand, pulling out the letters.
Dear Ryder,
Thanks! I’m so excited about snowboarding. It was amazing getting the chance to meet you. I had a lot of fun.
