by K. B. Webb
Those are the words Jasmine said to me as she fell asleep last night, and now those are the words that keep running through my head while I sit in her living room drinking coffee.
I love Jasmine. I know I do, but now I need to show her so she never has to question how much I love her again.
I walk back into Jasmine’s room and see her still sound asleep, star fished on her bed. I try to be as quiet as I can be as I get dressed and find my phone and wallet. I walk back into the kitchen and find a pen and paper and write Jasmine a note telling her I need to handle some thing’s and I’ll be back later
The first thing I do is head to Slade Fitness. I haven’t talked to Jason since the disastrous conversation he and Jasmine had yesterday. As of right now, as far as I know, I still have a job, but I don’t want it. I drive to the gym in silence as I try to gather my thoughts. I pull into my parking spot and see Jason’s shiny BMW parked by the front door. Well, shit’s about to go down.
As soon as I step in the door, I see Casey handing over her keys and I.D. to Sarah as she tells her over and over again that this is bullshit. I don’t speak when I pass her, but I hear her call my name as I walk down the hall. I don’t have the time or fucking energy to deal with Casey right now. No, right now I have to deal with Jason.
I walk into my office and see Jason sitting in my chair and a box on top of my desk, the few personal things I had inside.
“You had to know I was going to fire you, right?” Jason sits in the desk chair with his arms crossed and looking at me like I am the last mother fucker he wants to see right now.
“Even if you didn’t I would have quit.” I sit down across from him and take my gym key and I.D. and set them on the desk. “I see you fired Casey. Guess you’re not as big of an ass hole as I thought you were.”
“Firing Casey had nothing to do with you or Jasmine. That was a business decision, not a personal one.”
“Huh. Well to me it seems you fired the girl who completely degraded your sister, but I guess that can’t be right since you degraded her so much yesterday that she almost drank herself into a fucking coma and you don’t give a shit.”
“Don’t walk in here and act like you know me or my sister, Ryan, because you don’t.” Jason’s tone changes instantly so I know I’ve hit a nerve.
“That’s where you’re wrong Jason. I know Jasmine. I know the shit that you’ve put her through and honestly I think you’re a worthless mother fucker.”
He slams his hands down on the desk and pushes himself up so he’s standing. I do the same. If Jason wants to go toe to toe with me, I’m ready.
“You only want her for her money. Do you really think I’m so fucking stupid that I believe for second you really love my sister?”
“Are you such an ass hole that you really believe your sister is incapable of being loved by someone?”
“If that someone is you, then yes.”
This conversation isn’t going anywhere. Jason and I could sit here and talk shit to each other for hours and neither of us would change our minds. I decide to just cut my losses since I have someone else I need to talk to today. I grab my box of stuff of the desk and address Jason one more time, “Jason, you don’t like me and that’s fine, I don’t fucking like you either, but Jasmine is your sister. If you really ask her to sign over her portion of Slade Industries, she will never forgive you. You may think I don’t know her, but I do know that she loves you. Hell, last night she was drunk as shit and crying because of you and still said she loved you! She wants your approval and no matter how bad ass and unaffected she may appear to be, it’s fucking killing her that you not only want her to give up the one thing your parents worked so hard for, but you basically called her a whore and said it was a good thing her parents weren’t around to see the kind of failure she was. You’re a grade A piece of shit Jason, but you’re Jasmine’s brother and she loves you. Don’t push her so far away that you can’t win her back when you’re ready.”
I walk out of my office, well, what used to be my office, and straight to my truck. I send a quick text to Molly and tell her I’ll be by soon to talk to her.
I don’t know if what I said to Jason really matters, but I had to get it off my chest. He needs to know how his actions are hurting the person he says he loves so much. Jasmine told me yesterday that she needed to start standing up for herself, but I know that’s hard for her to do with Jason. I am so damn proud of her for standing her ground with him yesterday, but I don’t think she will be able to do that again. She needs someone to stand up for her and defend her to people like Jason, and lucky for me, I’m that someone.
I walk into Molly’s house without knocking. She comes running down the hallway holding a finger to her mouth that tells me to be quiet and points for me to go outside. I walk out and she follows me. We take seats at the table she has under her carport and she lights a cigarette.
“Sorry, I had just got Lyric down for her nap and I didn’t want to wake her up.” I know Molly is pist at me because she isn’t making eye contact. That’s Molly’s go to pist off move. “So did you come over to explain why in the fuck you’re dating Jasmine Slade?”
I let that question roll around in my head for a moment. I don’t have to explain jack shit to her. I’m here out of love and respect for her and for our friendship.
“I don’t owe you an explanation Molly, and if you and I are going to have this conversation, you cannot talk shit about Jasmine. I won’t sit here and let you do that.”
“You’re joking right? You barely know this girl!”
“I know her Molly. A hell of a lot better than you do. And I know her well enough to know she didn’t do shit to deserve you treating her the way you do.”
She scoffs, “Let me guess, Jasmine ran to you and cried because I was mean to her. Poor pitiful rich bitch.”
“Seriously Molly, what the fuck is your problem right now?” Molly has never been known for her sunny disposition, but right now she is taking it overboard. I’ve seen Molly throw a bitch fit many times in the years I’ve known her, but most of those were justified. This however, isn’t justified at all.
“She’s a spoiled bitch, that’s my problem. She thinks that she can just go around and do whatever the fuck she wants to whoever the fuck she wants to and it’s OK.”
“Where is this even coming from? You barely know her so how can you think that? You’re not making any sense right now.”
She lights another cigarette and starts bouncing her leg up and down, “She knew Colt. Did she tell you that?”
“Um, yea. She said she met him at a party and ran into him sometimes after that. What does that have to do with anything?”
“She fucked Colt, Ryan.”
Right then, it all makes sense. Molly and my brother Colt were together on and off for years. They were young when they met and made plenty of mistakes, and some of those mistakes included cheating on both sides. Molly is the kind of girl who holds a grudge, and that’s what she’s doing right now. She thinks that Jasmine had sex with Colt so that gives her a right to hate her, but she’s wrong. Not only did Jasmine not have sex with Colt, but even if she did, Molly wouldn’t have any right to hate her for it. That was years ago. Hell, Colt’s been dead for years. I know she still holds on to some pain and resentment towards him, but she’s got to let that shit go.
“No she didn’t Molly. She told me the whole story. He saw her at a party once crying over some guy and sat with her while she cried. He was nice to her after that, nothing more than that.”
“Well, she lied to you. I know she fucked him. He gave her a nickname, and he only did that with girls he slept with.”
“Molly,” I reach my hand across the table and grab hers. She needs to learn to let go of whatever the hell she is still holding inside when it comes to Colt, “Jasmine didn’t have sex with him. Colt was flirty, but he didn’t nickname every girl he slept with. You’re making up scenarios in your head,” I squeeze her hand and mentally prepare mysel
f for the bitching I am about to get, “I think you still have some issues with Colt. I get that it’s hard to know he’s gone, especially with everything that happened that day, but he’s gone Molly. He’s been gone. Holding onto grudges against him and a girl who you just assumed he slept with isn’t healthy.”
“I’m not assuming shit! I saw them talking at more than one party. They were flirting Ryan. I’m not fucking stupid.”
“No, you’re just delusional.”
“Fuck you.”
“Molly, seriously, he’s dead, OK. You are acting like a fucking crazy person right now! And so what if he did sleep with Jasmine, you cheated too. You think that just because you’re the one that’s still alive you get to hold a grudge over some madeup bullshit? You gotta let shit go after a while. I get missing him, hell I do it every second of everyday, but you’re seriously overreacting right now.”
“I can’t even deal with this conversation.” She stands up and walks into her house. I follow her because this conversation isn’t over.
“Molly, what the fuck is your problem? I get it, you think Jasmine slept with Colt, but she didn’t. Honestly didn’t. So what else do you have to go off of huh? What other random fucking reason can you come up with to hate a girl you don’t even know? That’s a little crazy even for you.”
She stops dead in her tracks and stands still for a few moments. Her back is to me and her shoulders are moving up and down rapidly. When she finally turns to face me, there are tears in her eyes.
“I just got you back Ryan. I never thought that I would get you back, but I did. When you moved out it killed me. I got why you did it, but it still hurt.”
“Molly,” I take a step towards her and she takes one back, “I didn’t move out to hurt you. I loved living with you, Logan, and especially Lyric, but y’all are a family. Y’all needed time alone together as a family and I needed to be out on my own to get my life together without using you as a crutch.”
“How do you use me as a crutch?”
“Birdie, you’re like my security blanket. I run to you when shit gets hard. I know that no matter what is going on in my life, you’ll be there for me. You’ll pick up all my little fucked up pieces and help glue me back together. Hell, even when I didn’t talk to you for months at a time, if I called you and needed your help or support, you always gave it to me. You saved me, and I will forever love you for it, but I need to learn how to save myself. I can’t depend on you forever.”
“You moved out, which was hard enough to deal with, but now you’ve got a girlfriend too. I’m not ready to have to share you with someone, and yes, that’s fucking selfish, but that’s how I feel. And add on top of everything that the girl you’re dating is Jasmine, it’s just too much to deal with.” She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath before closing the space between us and wrapping her arms around me. I lock my arms around her shoulders and rest my head on top of hers. “I love you Ry, but I just can’t agree with you being with Jasmine. You deserve better than her.”
“What are you trying to say Molly? Are you asking me to choose?”
“Is it even a choice? I’ve been your best friend for years and you’ve only been screwing this girl for a few months.”
I take a step back and look at Molly, really look at her. She’s right, she’s been my best friend for almost all of my life. She’s always been there for me and she knows me better than anyone else. She also knows that I don’t do well with people telling me what to do or trying to force me to make decisions. She knows this, yet she’s still trying to make me choose.
“I’m not going to choose. I love you Molls, you’re family, but I am in love with Jasmine, and I’m not going to give her up.”
She recoils back when the words leave my mouth like I’ve hit her. The look in her eyes is full of shock and the expression on her face is full of hurt. I hate that I did this to her, but she forced me to. I won’t let her make me choose between her and Jasmine, because Jasmine would never ask me to choose between her and Molly.
“I think you need to leave Ryan, because if you don’t, I’m gonna start saying some really hurtful shit that I think I’ll regret.”
“You’re really going to kick me out because I won’t break up with Jasmine?”
She closes her eyes and nods, “Ryan, get out of my house.”
“Molly, don’t do this. We’re best friends. I get you being pist and if you need some space, I’ll give it to you. But don’t kick me out and leave things like this. Just because I won’t choose you doesn’t mean I want to lose you.”
“Well, maybe when you see what kind of person Jasmine really is, you will understand why I’m doing this. Until then, I need you to get the hell out of my house and stay away from me. I can’t be around you right now.”
My fucking heart hurts at the sounds of her words. This whole day has been a major cluster fuck that I never saw coming. First Jason disowning Jasmine and now Molly kicking me out of her house. What the fuck is wrong with people today?
“Seriously Molly, you’re going to wake up tomorrow and wish you wouldn’t have done this.”
“I doubt that.”
I start to argue with her again, tell her again how fucking insane all this is, but I shut up instead. Talking to Molly is just like talking to Jason, it’s going nowhere.
I walk out of Molly’s house and feel like I have a boulder sitting on my chest. I didn’t think at the end of this conversation I would end up losing my best friend. As I drive home, I think about not just missing out on being around Molly, but being around Lyric too. Knowing I won’t be able to go see her whenever I want is fucking killing me.
I get back to my apartment building, and decide I need a good work out and a run before I do anything else. I spend a few hours lifting weights and run a few miles. The run really gives me time to think. The situation Jasmine and I have gotten ourselves into is way more fucked up than we imagined it would be. I knew Jason wouldn’t handle us being together well, as did Jasmine, but the level of pist off that he has reached is really surprising. And Molly, well all of Molly’s bullshit has thrown me for a fucking loop. I don’t get where she gets off thinking she can tell me who I can and can’t be with. All of the things she said today made the situation make a little more sense, but it still doesn’t justify her behavior.
When I finish my run, I shower and head to Jasmine’s apartment. I haven’t talked to her today, and after all the shit that’s gone down, I need some quality time with her to put things into perspective.
I walk in without knocking and see her curled up on her couch, two opened bottles of wine sitting on her coffee table, and some sappy chick shit on the TV. I look at the clock and see it’s only 4:16 pm. Apparently Jasmine started drinking early today.
“It’s not even 5:00 yet, and you’re drinking? I don’t think this is a good thing Jasmine.”
“Well she’s not drinking alone.” An older woman walks out from Jasmine’s kitchen into the living room. She’s short and petite with red hair and she’s wearing a smirk. Before she even introduces herself, I know she’s Dani’s mom. “I think Jazzy deserves some day drinking after the few days she’s had.” She extends her hand towards me, “I’m Linda Gail, Dani’s mama. You must be Ryan?”
“Yes mam. It’s nice to meet you.” I shake her hand, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Well between the way Jazzy and Dani run their mouths, that doesn’t surprise me at all. I have actually heard a lot about you too,” she lifts an eyebrow and smirks at me.
“Linda Gail, shut your trap. Girl talk is supposed to stay between me, you, and the wine.” Jasmine pipes up from the couch. She stands and walks, well stumbles, to me and wraps her arms around me before giving me a drunk kiss. “Hey baby. I completely forgot Linda Gail was coming in town today. She showed up with wine and needed a day drinking partner so I couldn’t turn that offer down. How’d things go with Molly?”
“Well, it didn’t go great, but we can talk about that la
ter. Right now, I think you two ladies need something to eat. Want me to cook?”
“He is a keeper Jazzy.” Linda Gail smiles at Jasmine over her wine glass and winks at me.
I wander into Jasmine’s kitchen and start digging through her cabinets and fridge trying to find something to cook. I settle on fish and rice because, besides an obscene amount of wine and Nutella, that’s all Jasmine has.
As I cook, Jasmine and Linda Gail sit at the kitchen counter and drunk talk about random things. Linda asks me questions that you would expect your girlfriend’s mother to ask you. I know that Linda Gail and Jasmine are close, Jasmine has said more than once that she’s like her second mother, so I guess the questions make sense. I ask them where Dani is, and Linda Gail says she sat aside this day to spend some one on one time with Jasmine, but the three of them plan to spend the day together tomorrow since Dani’s off work.
After I cook, we all sit down in the living room and eat. Jasmine opens a new bottle of wine and swears it’s because white wine goes better with fish than red. We laugh as I listen to them ramble on and on about wine, mason jar craft shit, pedicures, and other utterly ridiculous girly shit.
“So Ryan, what are your intentions with my second daughter?”
“To give me life altering orgasms and cook for me when I’m shit faced.” Jasmine answers for me and somehow manages to keep a straight face while she speaks. Linda Gail is laughing so I decide to just go with it.
“Pretty much. But, she only gets life altering orgasms if she makes me pancakes every Saturday.”
“Pancakes for great sex, sounds like a fair trade to me!” Linda Gail raises her glass to us and I can’t hold back my laughter. This conversation is awkward yet hilarious.
“Ryan honey, I am so very happy that you are making my little Jazzy happy in more than one area,” now we’re leaning toward more awkward and less hilarious, “but I swear to you if you hurt her, I will fucking crush you. Don’t let my size and obvious love for wine fool you, I could fuck you up if I wanted to.”
