by Sarah Cole
“We’ll get your head checked out soon, ma’am,” the officer says, eyeballing what is probably a bloody mess of hair. I’d probably just scare him more if I told him most of it isn’t even mine.
I take another glance back at Carter as I’m walked to a waiting squad car. He’s speaking with familiarity to an agent in an FBI jacket, but his eyes never leave me. He gives me a wink before the door closes.
There’s a sense of peace and fulfillment that washes over me as the car pulls away from the scene. The shadows of the flashing red and blue lights become fainter on the interior of the car as the seconds tick by. And as I sit in chains in dim light of the fading sun, I’ve never felt freer than I do in this moment. I know I deserve this. I just feel better knowing that I managed to accomplish everything I set out to do, and the world will soon know the truth. What should be the end of my life, somehow feels like it could just be the start, and I smile.
That is, I smile until I catch sight of my reflection in the rearview mirror, because I just look like a lunatic smeared with blood, wearing a gleeful expression.
******
“Did you or did you not collude with Lance Jennings to help Russia revolutionize their warfare?” the weasely looking agent asks for the sixth time in a row. I swear I might actually break is neck if he asks again and it will have nothing to do with revenge, but merely out of pure annoyance.
“Tim? Is that your name, Tim? Ok, well you look like a Tim, so we’ll stick with that. It doesn’t matter how many times you rephrase the question. The answer will always be the same. No. No, I did not collude with him, or work for him in any capacity. Also, another helpful hint. If you’re going to ask the same question, mix it up with questions in between. It might actually throw a suspect off,” I say in frustration.
“She’s right, Tim. Take a break,” an older man with greying hair says opening the door with a large file in his hand. I want to give myself a high five for guessing Tim the Interrogator’s name correctly.
Tim shoots me a glare before sauntering out of the room, and the new man smacks the file down on the metal table top. I glance down at my orange jumpsuit, hating the way it reflects off my skin.
“Anika Borkova, where do I start?” the man sighs a tired sigh, and sits down across from me.
“Tell me how long I’m looking at,” I say quietly, ready to accept my fate.
He laughs a little, but it isn’t a cruel laugh. It is just as if he’s simply laughing at a joke he made inside his head. “You’re looking at two years to life.” He says simply and while I was expecting the latter, the two years throws me for a loop.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m a little confused. I killed three people, technically four, hacked into government files and databases…” I trail off as I tally up my long list of crimes in my head. My handcuffs clank on the metal as my hands fold in front of me.
He reaches into his back pocket and fishes out a key, motioning with his fingers for my wrists. I lean forward and he unlocks the cuffs one by one and sets them aside as I rub life back into my wrists.
“Thank you.” I say, and he nods putting the key back in his pocket.
“Dan. Call me Dan if you want. Some people around here certainly call me a lot worse.” He laughs again, and this time I find myself smiling with him.
“Do you know who I am young lady?” he asks, and while something about his face seems familiar, I have no idea.
“Daniel Gordon, Deputy Director of the FBI,” he says, and the name clicks.
“Pleasure to meet you, Dan,” I say and he smiles a wide smile.
“Believe me, Ms. Borkova. The pleasure is mine. Now let me explain what I mean by two to life,” he says, reminding me of a high school football coach.
“You’ve got options. You’ve always got options, but from where I’m sitting, if you’re smart there’s only one that makes sense.”
“What’s that?” I question.
“Work for the FBI,” he says in complete seriousness.
“I’m sorry?”
“You heard me. At minimum, we want you for two years to help us take down the rest of this crime network. After that, it is up to you. Judging by your qualifications, you’ll more than likely be given the option to stay on, but you don’t have to,” he says.
“Then what is the other option?” I ask.
“A lifetime of regret for not doing the right thing and finishing what you’ve started,” he says, and my heart is hammering so quickly in my chest, I think I might faint.
“Why? How? I thought…” he holds a hand up to silence my rambling, and something about the way he carries himself causes me to pause.
“I’m aware of your criminal activities, Ms. Borkova. All of them, including the little disclaimer on the State Department’s website.” he gives me the side eye, but he winks and I feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment. Something about him reminds me of my father before everything turned to shit. The thought makes me sad, but Dan, pulls me out of it as he continues, “The reasoning behind it is simple. You’ve got more talent in you than half the Bureau combined. We need you, and I think you need us too. I knew this case had been open and ongoing, with very little lead, but when one of our senior agents requested a meeting and brought this to me?”
He taps the thick file in front of him, “I had to hear it all. You’ve made some foolish choices. I think you and I both know that, but you’re the best. I know you’re the key to helping end not just this one part, but the entire network. You’d be tasked with leading up a cyber team, and at times you may even be working with CIA agents and agents from the NSA. The hours will be long, and your life may even be at risk, but it will give everything you’ve already done a bigger meaning. Your father was a good man, Anika. He helped me out on more than one occasion. Finish what he started. Think about it.” He stands to leave.
“When do I start?
Dan’s face lights up. “Right now. Follow me.”
He holds the door open for me, and the scrawny guy from before stands from the chair he was sitting on, his eyes darting back and forth between us.
“Tim? Meet your new boss, Anika. She’ll shape you up in no time. I think she’s already begun.” Dan chuckles, and I hold out my hand to man giving me an evil stare. This is going to be fun.
“My name is Paul,” he mumbles, shaking my hand weakly and I try to fight my smile.
Dan points to a set of doors. “Everyone already knows who you are and what you’ve helped us with, so don’t mind the whispers, or when they ask you for your autograph,” he jokes and I smile. “Your guy has been here for two days stinking up the offices. Get him home and make him shower. He and Marcus should have some clothes for you to go home in. I’ll be in touch in a couple of days with your first assignment. You’ll be reporting directly to me.” he says, holding out his hand. My palm slides in his for a firm handshake.
“That’s it? I’m free to go?” I ask.
“As free as you’ll ever be working for the FBI, but you can go home if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Thank you,” I say, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
“Don’t thank me, Anika. Thank that smelly man sitting out there. Without him, you’d probably be rotting in an eight by eight cell with a lady named Mikey. Get some sleep,” he says before heading down the hall in the opposite direction.
I hesitantly push open the door, still partly wondering if I’m dreaming or if this is real life. Carter sits across the room, still wearing the same muddied jeans and bloody t-shirt from nearly two days ago, and a face full of stubble. He still looks delicious despite the layer of grime I can see from here. When the door clicks behind me, his head snaps up from his phone and his eyes find mine. He bolts out of his seat and across the room, crushing me to his body.
“Thank you for not giving up on me,” I say and he squeezes me tighter to him. We look at each other with tear filled eyes.
“I’ll never give up on you, Anika. It’s you and me, baby, and you�
�ll always have me.” he kisses my neck tenderly.
“Let’s go home.” I whisper into his ear as he sways me back and forth.
“Yours or mine?” he asks.
“It doesn’t matter as long as it’s where you are.”
“We’re going to be ok,” he says.
“We will,” I confirm, and I know it’s true because nothing has ever felt more right than this man by my side. We both have a long way to go, but now I won’t be alone.
Our love may not be perfect just like the two souls it belongs to, but it’s beautiful, and it’s ours…
epilougue
two and a half years later…
carter:
My hand skims low across my wife’s swollen belly, and her hand covers mine, her diamond wedding band reflecting the morning light.
“It’s right there. Did you feel it?” she asks turning her head on the pillow so her dark hair fans out beside her.
“I think you’re delusional,” I laugh at her and she rolls her eyes in jest. Suddenly, I feel the sharp little nudge against my palm, and I feel my eyes widen and the smile spread on my face. I’m filled with awe as I feel our baby rolling inside of the woman I love.
“See?” Anika jabs me with her elbow, her blue eyes unnaturally bright in the sunlight.
“The only thing I see is you,” I say in all seriousness. The only thing I’ve seen since the time I first saw her in the coffee shop almost three years ago, is her.
“Does that work on all the ladies?” she teases.
“All that matters is that it works on one.” I kiss her neck and pull her closer.
“I thought about taking parenting classes...you know, as an extra precaution,” she says suddenly.
“If it will make you feel better, baby, then we’ll take the classes. I just don’t want you overdoing it. You’re going to be a wonderful mother.”
“I’m already cutting back at the Bureau,” she says.
“And that’s ok. It’s ok to take a break and focus on what’s important.” I think about how much has changed for us, and about how our priorities have shifted so drastically in such a short amount of time.
Lance Jennings ended up pulling through his injuries, but only to be sentenced to multiple life sentences in a maximum-security prison. It was the scandal that rocked the globe, but through it all, Anika prevailed helping the FBI bring down his entire network of crime in just over a year’s time. She became addicted to serving justice the right way for other people, and has worked tirelessly to ensure what happened to her won’t happen again. Therapy seems to be helping a lot with things too. We go together weekly, and have both benefited from it immensely.
She doesn’t have the rage living inside of her that she once did, and little by little this warm and radiant woman emerged from the dark. I no longer feel the need to control everything as I did before, and I’ve learned to let life happen because when it’s good, it’s extraordinary. I will admit that I do like the control when it’s necessary – like when I basically forced Anika to marry me on the same day I proposed just over a year ago. I knew she’d worry and second guess everything, but I was sure enough for the both of us, and my only regret is not locking her down sooner. Also, in the bedroom. That hasn’t changed a single bit, except for the passion. That has only increased over the years as our love and respect for one another has grown.
We both still have our dark days, but we’re here in this life together, and we know now that our love and each other are the only things that feed the good and the only things that tether us to the light. We vowed to honor each other, love each other, and protect each other, and I know without a doubt, we will do that for each other until our last breaths.
“You’re right. Family is important,” she says quietly, rolling to her side so her belly is sandwiched between us. I brush her hair aside as I feel our baby move as her belly presses into mine, and I know life isn’t always easy, but I wouldn’t change a moment of the bad because it led us to this very moment that made every ounce of pain worth it.
“I love you, Anika Linwood.”
“Until the world burns down around us,” she confirms with a soft smile before our lips meet.
The End
Playlist
Eternally Yours – Motionless in White
Wasp- Motionless in White
Final Dictvm – Motionless in White
Break the Cycle – Motionless in White
Devil’s Night – Motionless in White
Dark Passenger – Motionless in White
Contemptress – Motionless in White
Reincarnate – Motionless in White
Breathe – Through Fire
Fall – Palisades
Through Hell – Palisades
Weak and Powerless – A Perfect Circle
Worst Part of Me – iPrevail
One Last Night – Vaults
Not the American Average – Asking Alexandria
Familiar Taste of Poison – Halestorm
Sick Like Me – In This Moment
Whore – In This Moment
Fighter – In This Moment
Gravity – Architects
Deathwish- Architects
Broken Cross - Architects
Just Tonight – The Pretty Reckless
Make me Wanna Die – The Pretty Reckless
Antivist – Bring Me The Horizon
Fade Away – Breaking Benjamin
Never Again – Breaking Benjamin
Glory and Gore – Lourdes
Dark Paradise – Lana Del Rey
Take Me to Church – Hozier
The Sinner – Memphis May Fire
The Beautiful People -Marilyn Manson
Helium – Sia
Black is the Soul - Korn
Tracing back roots – We Came as Romans
Die for you – Starset
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND WORDS FROM THE AUTHOR
This book was a roller coaster for me. It was at times the easiest to write and at other times, the most difficult. This was my first dabble with darkness, and oh my, I must say that I like the dark side. I sometimes struggled with wondering how dark I should take it, and then other times I let it go and wanted more blood. My biggest struggle here was in the details. These characters are so complicated and I wanted you to really see what I saw… and I honestly wish I could just make a movie to do it justice… (but that’s not happening, so, this is what you get)
Binary started as a sexy tech contemporary romance about a woman caught between her attraction for two brothers, but it evolved and the darkness creeped in and then that whole original concept went out the window and this little gem was born. I may have to revisit my original concept for another day. (mwahahahaha – I mean, who doesn’t like a little ménage love?) Anyways, here I go, straying from topic. My point is, you’ll probably see a good mix of contemporary romance and dark romance going forward because let’s face it… I like the twisted and dark. (shrugs)
So, now to the thank you’s. First and foremost, thank you all for reading and thank you for your continued support. Writing is a fun journey that I embarked upon not knowing where it would take me, but the community I found embraced me with open arms and I’m very thankful. I just want to give a HUGE shout out to a group of the most encouraging, funny, caring, bad ass women I know: Misti, Kayley, Jess, Lori, Ebony, Margo, Kristy, and Jessica…YOU GUYS ROCK MY WORLD! There are so many more that I want to thank and even that wouldn’t be enough. Just know that your friendship means the world to me, and I’m grateful to have found you.
Writing and reading has my heart, but when you read these words I wrote, you all have a little piece of my soul.
XO-
ALSO BY SARAH COLE
Contemporary Romance
Fading to Light (Fading to Light Duet – Book 1)
From the Dark (Fading to Light Duet – Book 2)
Facing Reality
Landing Logan (Facing Reality Spinoff– Early 2018)
/> Dark Romance
Binary
Secret Untitled Project with M.R. Leahy (Summer 2018)
Romantic Comedy
I Am Woman (Laughable Love Series – Book 1)
Wife Wanted (Laughable Love – Book 2 – 2018)
STAY CONNECTED
Facebook -https://facebook.com/SarahColeAuthor
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/sarahcolewrites
Email –[email protected]
Goodreads-https://www.goodreads.com/SarahColeAuthor
ALSO BY SARAH COLE
Contemporary Romance
Fading to Light (Fading to Light Duet – Book 1)
From the Dark (Fading to Light Duet – Book 2)
Facing Reality
Landing Logan (Facing Reality Spinoff– Early 2018)
Dark Romance
Binary
Secret Untitled Project with M.R. Leahy (Summer 2018)
Romantic Comedy
I Am Woman (Laughable Love Series – Book 1)
Wife Wanted (Laughable Love – Book 2 – 2018)
STAY CONNECTED
Facebook -https://facebook.com/SarahColeAuthor
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/sarahcolewrites
Email –[email protected]
Goodreads-https://www.goodreads.com/SarahColeAuthor
