“Thank you, Carla,” Guy said sincerely. “That’s more than I have any right to ask for at the moment. Barry, I’m sorry I let you down like this. Please don’t let my idiocy affect you guys. I’m not worth it.” He turned back to Carla before Barry could respond. “Please don’t hold me against him. You don’t need any more emotional upheaval tonight. Oh, I’m very glad to hear that your mom’s okay.” Guy was afraid to say more because his throat was beginning to close. Instead, he gave each an apologetic look and left.
Chapter Four
There were only a handful of cars in the library lot when Guy arrived. After leaving the hospital the night before he’d had a great debate with himself over how and when to approach Victoria Banks. His conclusion that there was no ideal solution made him select the best situation to actually get to speak with her. His final decision was to seek her out in the library and include Diana in his apology. With her in the room, Tori might listen long enough for him to repair some of the damage his attitude had done.
“Morning, Diana,” Guy greeted her quietly when she acknowledged his presence.
“Detective,” Diana’s tone was icy.
“I know I’m not particularly welcome here but I’m hoping you’ll spare me a minute anyway.”
“It’s a public library,” Diana stated. “Everyone is welcome here until they give me good reason to ban them. Feel free to use any of the materials you need.”
“Thank you but, as you know, I’m not here for the library.” Diana merely nodded. “I don’t mean to barge in and interfere with your work but I’ve always thought it best not to put off an apology when one is owed. I thought Ms. Banks might be more willing to let me make amends if I came here and spoke to her in your presence. If you prefer that I come back at closing, I certainly will, or if you think it better to meet in some other public place that she chooses, I’ll do that instead.”
“First you said that you wanted to apologize, then you said that you wanted to make amends. Which is it?”
“At the very least, an apology but if at all possible, full amends. I went over our encounter many times last night and I understand how wrong I was about everything. For what it’s worth, I would have realized that on my own once I had a chance to think about it. There was a lot of fear in her eyes yesterday. If she’ll let me, I’ll do whatever I can to help erase that.”
Diana scrutinized him closely. “Now this is the man I expected Tori to meet. You can talk in my office and, unless she asks me to stay, I’ll give you privacy.”
“Thank you, Diana. I can’t tell you how much I regret last night.”
“I believe you. As do I. Guy, I owe you an apology for my behavior as well.”
“Please don’t,” he interrupted. “You were running on adrenaline and didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. My mother worked very hard to teach me manners so I would grow up to be as decent a man as my father is and I forgot all of them. Mom wouldn’t have stopped with one little slap. No, she’d have been so horrified that she’d have tried to make my head spin all the way around while she raked me over the coals.”
“Still.” Diana looked ready to argue. “I heard from Carla this morning.”
“Again, please don’t. She’s right too. I hurt someone you’re very close to. That hurt you which hurt her. Barry trusted me to fill in and act as he would and I screwed up royally. I damaged not only our partnership but our friendship. Believe me, the things you and Carla said are nothing compared to what I said to myself all night.”
“Your mother would be proud of you for knowing that.” Diana smiled kindly. “Let me send one of the volunteers for Tori and we’ll go wait in my office.”
“Diana, I told you, I’m fine. Not that I don’t appreciate it but I don’t need hourly pep talks.” Tori came far enough into the office to notice Guy. “Oh. Excuse me.”
“Come in, Tori. Guy asked for a few minutes of your time and it would please me if you’d listen to him.”
Tori wanted to run and it showed. Instead of giving in, she forced herself to sit without gripping the arms of the chair. “All right, Diana.”
Behind her back, Diana gave Guy’s arm a quick squeeze before she left them alone. Guy sighed. After a long moment, he took the chair next to Tori. He rubbed his hands over his face, put his elbows on his knees, rested his chin on his steepled fingers and sighed again.
“I had a nice little speech all prepared for you if I got the opportunity and now it seems all wrong.”
“Fine.” Tori stood to go.
“Wait.” Guy stopped her with a hand on her arm but released her just as quickly. “Please, sit back down.”
Tori cautiously did as he asked, clearly curious about his apparent lack of confidence. “Well?”
“I don’t know where exactly to begin.”
“Maybe you should just spit it out. I mean, does this really matter? I don’t even understand why you’re here.”
“I’m here because it matters a great deal, as much as it did to you yesterday.”
“Yeah, well, yesterday’s history, isn’t it?”
“Yes and no. The day itself is over but the effects of it aren’t.”
“I guess you expect me to believe that you woke up this morning and magically accepted that I was telling you the truth and not just lying to get attention and now care about what I planned to say last night.”
“I don’t know that one way or the other because you didn’t have the chance to say much of anything. I was wrong on so many levels last night, Ms. Banks, and for that, I am truly sorry. I’m sure you don’t believe this but I’m really not the stereotypical Frenchman you met yesterday.”
“Mm, right. So the reason for this visit is to convince me that you’re not an asshole?”
“No, although it would be an added benefit if I could improve your opinion of me.”
“Wait a second.” Tori’s eyes narrowed as she figured it out. “You’re here because they made you come, right? I know Diana saw you at the hospital last night and that you said something to her because she knew you blew me off without bothering to listen. She was upset that she couldn’t come with me and about Debbie’s accident so I can imagine her coercing you into showing up today. Or was it Carla because it pissed her off that Diana was upset with you? Or did Barry figure out what a jerk you were and send you back so I don’t think he’s one too?”
“Honestly, it was all three of them but I would have come on my own eventually.”
“Why?”
“Because of your eyes. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the fear I saw in them was more than nervousness at meeting a stranger in a public place with the intent of revealing something personal. You were shaking even before I got rude,” he paused and shook his head. “No, it was your eyes. When you were putting me in my place, they still held more fear than anger but there was also sadness, exhaustion and resignation. There had been some hope when you first got there but that was gone.”
“You’re serious.” Tori was awed.
“Very. Growing up, I was always the guy who tried to help everyone. I became a cop because I believed I could make a difference. I still do. Ms. Banks, I have no excuse for my attitude last night. If you had asked Barry to describe me yesterday morning, he would have said I’m open-minded with unlimited patience and that I have a knack for making people feel comfortable enough to talk freely with me.”
“So I bring out the worst in you.”
“No. If you did, I wouldn’t be feeling so protective of you now.”
“Protective? You don’t really know what’s going on.”
“Not yet but I want to. More than anything, I’d like you to talk to me. Make me understand so we can figure out how I can help.”
Tori rolled her eyes in disbelief.
“Can’t we please just forget yesterday and start over? I’m fully prepared to grovel in any way necessary. Name what it’ll take and I’ll do it.”
“You’re serious,” she stated a
gain.
“Completely,” Guy confirmed. After a prolonged silence, he added, “I really am sorry. Everything about last night was a mistake. Please give me a chance to show you how I should have handled things.”
Tori studied his face. As much as she didn’t want to, she believed he was sincere. As she saw it, she had three choices. She could refuse to tell anyone and live with the guilt forever when her next nightmare turned out to be real too, send Guy away and take a chance that Barry would sneer at her the same way he had or give Guy the benefit of the doubt as Diana obviously had.
“On one condition.” Tori made her decision.
“Name it.” Guy leaned forward anxiously.
“Tell me what they said to you last night. All three of them.”
“Fair enough.” Guy groaned inwardly. He had to tell her everything even though it could make her decide that he was there more to get himself off the hook than for her.
Taking a deep breath, Guy began with his comments to Barry. When he reached the part where Diana had slapped him, Tori gasped. “She didn’t!”
“Oh, I assure you, she did. I think Barry was even more surprised than I was.” He continued with the rest, uninterrupted until he repeated Carla’s declaration.
“I’ll call her.”
“No.”
“Then we can go see her and tell her you’re going to check into things for me.”
“No.”
“But—”
“Please don’t think I don’t appreciate your offer. I do but wouldn’t you rather wait until they have one of their gatherings and go together? I know you’ve been to some in the past and I’m really surprised we never bumped into each other.
“Last night, I remembered a conversation I overheard between Carla and Diana. Diana was worried about you not sleeping and Carla suggested you take a vacation and go visit your family. I’m assuming Carla knew why you weren’t sleeping and thought a change of scenery would help. Diana seemed certain that your family was last on your list of destinations and it wouldn’t much matter since you don’t know the meaning of vacation. She started to say something about how giving you more time alone not being the answer but then they noticed I was there and changed the subject.”
“I hate that she wastes time worrying about me like that.” Tori jumped up and stood in the doorway, looking at Diana while she unconsciously wrapped her arms around herself.
Guy stood behind her and gently rested his hands on her shoulders. “I seriously doubt that Diana sees it as a waste. She obviously cares about you and I know she’s not one to ignore someone important to her when they’re troubled.”
Tori wasn’t sure if she turned on her own or if Guy guided her but suddenly she found herself within inches of a very broad chest. She could feel the warmth where his hands still held her shoulders. Slowly, she raised her chin and met his gaze. He was watching her with an expression that almost looked tender.
“What had Diana so concerned? How long have you had dreams bad enough to keep you awake and why, Ms. Banks, do you think you can provide information on a crime committed over a hundred miles away?”
Without meaning to Tori moved her hands to Guy’s waist and lowered her forehead to his chest. “Could you please call me Tori? I don’t think I can get through this if you keep being so formal.”
Guy pulled her closer and lightly caressed her back. Instead of moving away, Tori let herself relax into the security of his embrace. When she slid her arms around him, Guy tightened his hold on her. The comforting gesture overwhelmed her and Tori couldn’t hold back her tears.
As the sobs shook her body, Guy cupped the back of her head. With one hand, he smoothed her hair. With the other, he rubbed her back. Instinct had him whispering soothing words while he encouraged her to cry herself out.
Diana must have realized what was going on because Guy saw her heading toward the office when he glanced up. With a silent plea and minimal gesture, he waved her away. If Tori let him comfort her, they might form a tentative bond. If Diana came to her rescue, he’d be back to square one.
Diana hesitated and responded with a look that held an unspoken request that he get her if Tori needed her. When he nodded his agreement, she went back to the far end of the desk.
Guy continued his calming attempts until Tori was down to sniffles. Very slowly, she raised her face to see him. Her eyes were huge when he met her gaze with a soft smile. Still holding her, he used one thumb to dry her cheeks before kissing each eyelid. With another smile, he brushed her lips with a butterfly kiss.
“Feel any better?” Guy asked with his mouth close enough that she could feel his breath.
“Wha—um, what, I mean, why…”
“Oh Christ.” He released her and stepped away. “Damn!”
Tori backed up against the wall. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I never cry, especially in front of people. I…”
“Tori.” Guy ran his hand over his face. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. Again. Christ.” He scowled before dropping his chin.
Tori reached out and put her hand on his arm. “Why? What did I miss?”
Guy’s head jerked up. “I just kissed you.”
“To get me to stop crying.”
“Well, yeah, but…”
“But what? You wish you hadn’t because I’m repulsive?”
“God, no!”
“Oh. I get it.” Tori blushed with embarrassment. “I forgot about your girlfriend.”
Guy snorted. “If you’re referring to the woman who was so annoyed with me last night, don’t give her another thought.”
“But I thought she was waiting for you.”
“Me too but apparently I took too long. After you left, she pointed out my replacement. Claimed he knew how to give her the proper attention.”
“But I wasn’t even there ten minutes.”
“Her reaction wasn’t really about you at all. You just provided a convenient excuse. Our acquaintance had run its course weeks ago. If she hadn’t ended it, I would have.”
Tori frowned. “All right, then why are you so annoyed?”
Guy looked extremely uncomfortable as he explained. “Because I completely blew it. I lost my mind and did everything wrong again. Yesterday, I treated you with contempt and accused you of being an attention-seeking liar. If you’d actually told me something that hadn’t been reported in the paper, I would have accused you of being involved and probably arrested you.
“Today, you give me the opportunity to show I am capable of doing my job, a job that I’ve always been fairly good at and the instant you’re about to let me prove myself, I toss the most elemental principle of how a decent cop behaves out the window.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I kissed you, Tori.”
“Because I was crying all over you after I asked you to stop being so formal. For comfort, right?”
He sighed. “Not really.”
Tori gasped. Then she scowled. Then she paced in the limited space, glaring at him every time she turned. Finally, she stopped directly in front of him. “And of course you couldn’t just go along with what I thought. No, you have to be too honest for that.”
“I’m sorry.” He looked miserable.
“For what exactly?” Tori challenged him.
Guy held her gaze as he considered his answer. “Several things and most of them inappropriate. The obvious, of course, failing to act as a detective should when offering assistance to an individual who has requested help. Sorry that we didn’t meet at Barry’s where it would have been perfectly acceptable for me to feel attracted to you. Sorry that because of that attraction I am obligated to step aside and ask someone else to take over. Sorry that I’m going to go Alpha male on you and demand that you refuse to confide in anyone other than me. Sorry that as an Alpha male I’m going to go overboard protecting you even if you tell me to go away and I have to become a stalker to do it. Sorry that even though I feel that way and want you to tell me eve
rything since I know essentially nothing other than you see homicides in your sleep, I can still feel the softness of your lips and your body against mine.” He laughed without humor. “Maybe what I should be most sorry for is dumping all this on you now, when you obviously have enough on your mind and the last thing you need is an asshole cop trying to cozy up to you when you’re vulnerable and might let me take advantage of you.”
“I would have sworn you despised me yesterday,” Tori commented when she was sure he’d finished.
“Hardly. I was annoyed at myself for letting Lana rope me into going to a bar I’ve never liked. I was mega-pissed that I had to meet you for Barry instead of going straight to the hospital to wait with him and Carla. Then you showed up, looking lost and gorgeous at the same time. You didn’t notice the leers you were getting, did you?”
“Oh, be real.” She rolled her eyes.
“I’m serious, Tori. That’s the reason I dislike that place so much. It’s a meat market and you were fresh meat.”
“If you say so.”
“Something else I remember hearing Diana say about you is how you keep to yourself to the extent that she wondered that you weren’t lonely.”
Tori groaned.
“Wait. I only said it because I wish I’d remembered it before I accused you of being a drama queen. What I’d like to know is why you’re alone. Why isn’t there someone there to hold you after your nightmares?”
“I’m not comfortable with the idea of letting someone get that close,” she surprised them both by answering.
“That mean you’re not going to talk to me?”
“I want to. I know I should, that it’s the right thing to do. But I’m so scared. If you prove that what I dreamed really happened then that’ll mean that the others were probably real too and then what do I do?”
Guy heard the anguish in her voice and pulled her into his arms without thinking about it. “You let me help figure out what it all means and go on from there. You’re not alone in this anymore, Tori.”
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