“Tori,” Guy said softly to let her know he was behind her before he draped a blanket over her shoulders. “Please come sit down and listen for a few minutes. Let me explain why I’m torn about this. I know you don’t really want me to go away and forget about you. I know you don’t want to be alone anymore. At least come back and let me keep you warm.” Guy slowly guided her back to the couch and maneuvered so she was sitting between his outstretched legs, cradled against his chest.
“Can we talk now?” he asked.
“Don’t you mean can you make your proclamations while I nod like a good little puppet?”
“No.”
Tori waited for him to continue until she couldn’t handle the silence. “All right, fine. Let’s talk. Start with why you don’t know what to do.”
Guy sighed and kissed her forehead. “As I said Terese and Todd have an annual Christmas open house. Friends and neighbors wander in and out at random. Family generally stays for the whole thing. In the past, it’s always been a nice thing. Relaxed, mellow, easy. I told Terese I’d be there last month when she called with the date. I can’t back out without an excuse and she’ll know whatever I tell her is a lie. I can’t go alone because the only way I’ll know you’re safe is if I can see you. I know, I know. It’s a paranoid, overbearing, Alpha reaction but that’s how I am so deal with it.
“If I call my sisters and explain who you are and why I’m bringing you with me, they’ll fall all over each other trying to make you comfortable in a way would have you cowering in the nearest closet. If we just show up there they’ll be able to see how I feel about you. I can introduce you as the witness I’m assigned to guard and make your presence into a purely professional thing and they won’t hear a word of it. They’ll make a fuss over you and pry into your life by asking all sorts of inappropriate personal questions without noticing how uncomfortable they’re making you. Even with me and Todd running interference for you, we won’t be able to shield you from all of it. Don’t misunderstand me. I love my family. I wouldn’t trade any of my sisters for the world but I’m not unconscious. They take some getting used to especially when they’re together. They’re not at all subtle and they don’t know how to be tactful. They’ve been trying to fix me up for years and they’ll push and pick until they figure out what makes you so special to me.”
“Gee, that sounds like so much fun. Todd and his wife provide the setting and you provide the entertainment. Tell me, does someone time how long it takes for your dates to flee? Do you keep a cab waiting outside so they can escape quickly once they’ve been reduced to mush? Do the neighbors line the walk and throw rotten vegetables if the woman doesn’t make it through round one?”
“I never took anyone with me before,” Guy stated quietly.
“Oh,” Tori almost choked. Her assumptions and comments had been uncalled for and completely undeserved. “Why not?”
“I never had anyone in my life I wanted to introduce to my family. I don’t mean that as in I hid my past relationships or I was ashamed of them. I dated some great women and a few of them did meet various family members. I meant that no one was ever an important enough part of my life that I wanted to include her in a significant family gathering.”
“I’m not either, Guy. If you weren’t stuck protecting me you wouldn’t bother considering this.”
“Tori,” Guy exhaled heavily. “I would appreciate it if you stopped telling me how I feel. At least until you pay enough attention to know for certain. I understand why you’re lashing out at me but I’m seriously concerned and trying to be open with you so we can come up with what’s best for you because I don’t want to hurt either you or my family. I get that you believe I’m lying and manipulating you so I can use you for my own selfish purpose before I kick you to the curb. I can swear on my life and make promises until I’m blue in the face and you still won’t see me as anything other than the cop you’ve accepted to protect you and the man you don’t mind having sex with when you need help forgetting your nightmares for a few hours. I get that, Tori. It hurts but I know I’ll get over that as soon as you see me for who I am instead of who you have yourself convinced I am. Aw, Christ,” Guy swore when he realized Tori was crying.
Unable to face Guy, Tori buried her head against his chest. She slid her arms around his waist and clung to him. She wished she could turn back time and erase the hateful things she’d said from his memory. He was right. He had been trying to make an unavoidable and potentially stressful situation easier for her and she had been a cruel bitch. Now, to make things worse, he was comforting her even though he thought she considered him a liar and a user. Even if he was mistaken about his feelings for her, Guy was a good man. One who would never deliberately set her up to be hurt and publicly humiliated. One who certainly didn’t deserve the treatment she had been giving him.
Tori swallowed her tears and swiped her face. She forced herself to look at Guy. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m so sorry.”
“Sh, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not! Damn it, Guy. You were being nice to me and I was a miserable bitch. You know it and you’re still being nice.”
“What should I do instead?”
“Toss me on the floor, wish me luck living through Russ and Stan’s visit and leave me alone like I deserve.”
“I see. There are several things wrong with your suggestion. One, I don’t want to toss you on the floor because I like holding you. Two, no matter how much you piss me off I refuse to turn my back on my duty. Three, the thought of handing you over to those two goes against everything inside me and would even if I didn’t feel a thing for you. Four, you do not deserve to be alone. Not now. Not ever.”
“Please just stop. Don’t keep being nice when I’m so horrible to you.”
“Tori—”
“No! You’re too good for your own good, you know that? Well, I do. I know you’re not a liar. I know you really believe what you keep saying but it won’t be lying even after you realize you were wrong. I know you’re not using me. Hell, if anything I’m the one using you. I’m the one who threw myself at you and backed you into a corner until you didn’t have any other choice that first night. And last night I was the one who handcuffed you and played with you and coerced you into eating me. You’ve been so nice to me and I treat you like dirt and take advantage of you.” Tori pulled away from him and went to the kitchen.
“Who are you calling?” Guy asked when she picked up the phone.
Tori ignore him. “Hi, it’s Tori. I’m fine. Yes, I know you would have called. Yeah, I thought I might feel something when they killed them but I haven’t yet. Of course it’s only two thirty so maybe they’re still alive. Well, I know you’re busy but I called because I need a favor. I need you to replace Guy. No, it’s not that. He’s fine. He’s been great. I’m the problem. I don’t want to hurt him anymore and I will if he stays. Don’t say it, Todd. You’re as wrong as he is but I don’t want to argue about it. Just get him out of here before he starts to hate me. He’s been so kind to me and I couldn’t stand that.” Tori’s face fell. Her shoulders slumped at whatever Todd told her. “He wants to talk to you,” Tori stated flatly as she handed him the phone.
“Guess I don’t need to ask how your day’s going,” Todd commented.
“Nope. I told Tori about your party,” Guy reported, knowing Todd would figure out the rest.
“I’m assuming you want me to tell her there’s no one else available so she’ll have to work things out with you.”
“That’s correct.”
“Are you sure? Don’t take this the wrong way but Tori sounds honestly upset with herself. Maybe you should give her some space and let her work through it on her own.”
“Bad idea considering the history,” Guy answered evasively.
“Hmm, let me think about that one since you obviously can’t give me an explanation with her listening. I said give Tori space and you won’t because of h
er past. Oh, wait. I get it. Even if she is hurting you as she thinks she is you have to stay so she realizes you’re in for the long haul. Damn, I already knew that she expects you to walk out on her like everyone else has. I shouldn’t have suggested giving her the chance to convince herself that you’re the same. All right, give me back to Tori.”
“Todd?”
“Sorry, kiddo. Wish I could help you out but I don’t have anyone else available just now.”
“Why am I not surprised? I shouldn’t have bothered to call you. That’s fine, Todd. I know you’re lying but I won’t hold it against you. After all, I’ve only been your friend for a few days and he’s been your friend for years. Of course you’d pick him over me. Damn, if I’m not the stupidest thing alive.” Tori hung up without giving Todd a chance to respond.
When she tried to leave the room, Guy stopped her by pulling her back against his chest. “Don’t take this out on Todd. You were right. He was lying but only because I made him. He suggested that it might be better if I gave you some space. When I made the remark about history I was referring to your past. Todd thought about it and realized that I wouldn’t leave even if he sent someone else because I need you to see that I am not going to desert you when things aren’t going precisely the way I want them to. Relationships, good ones, are full of compromises. It’s give and take, not me dictating and you meekly agreeing. All couples argue and disagree. The good ones work it out together and move on. You told Todd you wanted me to leave because you thought you’d find ways to hurt me until I hated you.”
Guy tightened his arms when Tori squirmed again. He dipped his head and nudged hers until it was tilted enough for him to reach her neck. Before he resumed speaking, he spent a few minutes nuzzling the back of her ear.
“But you didn’t hurt me. Just the opposite, in fact. You don’t even know what you said, do you? I’ll tell you. You said you know I’m not a liar and you know I wouldn’t use you. Christ, Tor, don’t you get it? You’re starting to trust me. You have no idea how good that makes me feel. Please don’t be mad at Todd for trusting me too. Please don’t reject his friendship because he knows I love you and will find a way for us to get through this.”
“Oh my God.” Tori slumped against his chest. “I was so awful to him. What a stupid jerk I am. I just don’t think. I’d call him back and apologize but no way is he going to talk to me now.”
“Sure he will. Todd knows you’re having a tough day and running on nerves. He’s probably debating on calling you back as we speak.”
Tori tugged his arms so she could turn toward him. “You think so?”
“I’m sure of it.”
Tori was shaking when she picked up the phone. As soon as she dialed, she slid her arm around Guy’s waist and urged him closer. “I’m sorry,” she said as soon as Todd answered. “Guy explained why you said no and I understand now but I shouldn’t have been such a mean bitch in the first place.”
“Apology accepted and thank you for not making me figure out the appropriate amount of time to wait before I called you.”
“Guy said you’d call. I know you don’t have time for this but thanks for putting up with me anyway.”
“That’s what friends are for, Tori. We are still friends, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Good. I’m glad. Now, as my friend, I expect to see you at my Christmas party next Saturday. It’s casual, just nibbles and drinks between six and nine. Stop in anytime. Feel free to bring a date.”
“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Tori laughed. “That is so not fair.”
“I know but the question is did it get Guy off the hook?”
“You guys are like a tag team. Both of you trying to keep me from being mad at the other like this.”
“That’s an interesting conclusion but you didn’t answer my question.”
Tori sighed. “I’d say yes but he wasn’t ever really on it. He was trying to be nice and I overreacted and twisted things make him into the bad guy.”
Todd chuckled. “Can Guy hear you?”
“Yes. He’s right here. Um, he’s letting me hold on to him for courage.”
“Damn. Hell of a roller coaster you two are on today.”
“Wish I knew how to get off.”
“You already know the solution. You just need to let yourself believe in it.”
“On that note,” Tori didn’t want to hear any more, “I’m going to say goodbye and let you get back to work.”
“Guess it’s my turn to apologize. I promised I would drop it this morning and I just tried to give you a push. Forgive me?”
“Of course, although I don’t think that was you. I’ve noticed that I have a very bad habit of setting people up so they say things I keep denying that I want to hear. Why do you suppose I do that?”
“Maybe because you really do want to hear those things but are still too wary to believe them? It’s just a guess but maybe you think if you hear them often enough you’ll find them easier to accept. Why don’t you ask Guy for his theory on this? I’m sure he has one.”
“I’d be amazed if he didn’t. Hey, Todd? Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. Hang in there, okay? We aren’t very likely to get them today but we will get them. I promise we will get them. You can count on that.”
“I know. Bye.”
Tori hugged Guy to her and sighed into his chest. “I want to thank you for being here before I turn back into a raving lunatic. I know you’re going to tell me I don’t have to but please let me anyway. I couldn’t handle this without you. If you weren’t here, I’d probably do something stupid like go looking for them, tell them they could do anything they wanted to me as long as they promised not to kill anyone else. It’s ridiculous to think it might work but I’m to the point where I would do it if there’s a chance they’d stop. Damn it, don’t listen to me. I’m babbling and not making any sense again. I’m not going anywhere so you don’t have to get dramatic and handcuff me to you.”
“Good to know but what if I want to handcuff you to me anyway?”
“Hmm.” Tori looked at him as if she were considering it. “Might be worth a try sometime but today I think I want to keep our arms free so we can hold each other like this.”
“Whatever you want.” Guy brushed her lips with a soft kiss.
“Guy.” Tori asked for more by looping one arm around his neck and raising herself to her toes to reach his lips.
Guy must have understood because his mouth claimed hers in a way that matched her need. Tori arched against him as if she couldn’t get close enough. She refused to let the kiss end. The hand that had been around his waist slipped under the waistband of his sweatpants and cupped one cheek. She squeezed his flesh, pulling his hips tighter against hers. Tori knew she was losing control but couldn’t stop herself. She knew she was forcing Guy into another no-win situation. What she was doing was so unfair that she should have been ashamed but at the moment, all she could think of was how much she wished they weren’t wearing any clothes so she could feel his whole body against her bare skin.
“I’m sorry, Guy. I’m so sorry,” Tori whispered against his mouth. “I know it’s wrong and I’m taking advantage of you,” she paused for another involved kiss. “Please forgive me but I need you so much.” Her hand explored the crease between his cheeks. “I can’t help it. Please, Guy. I’m sorry. Please.”
Guy’s control slipped and he backed her to the wall. He caught both hands and held them above her head, grinding his pelvis against her as he brutally took her mouth. “Tell me what you want,” Guy demanded.
“You. I want you,” she replied, scowling because he wasn’t kissing her.
“Not good enough. Tell me what you want.”
Tori realized he was pushing her so she would be sure of what she was doing. “Kiss me again.”
Guy complied but wouldn’t let her rub against him. “What else?”
“Fuck me,” she stated, knowing he’d force her to be
more specific.
“How? Where?”
“Here. Let go so I can take my jeans off.”
Instead of releasing her, Guy used one hand to strip both of them. “Done. Next?” He teased her by brushing his erection against her stomach.
“God, Guy, please. I need you to be inside me now. I need to feel your hard cock moving in and out, deeper than it ever was before. I want to squeeze you with my pussy until you’re as out of control as I am. I want you to make me come until I’m begging you to stop and then I want you to make me come so hard I scream. I want you to feel all of it with your cock until you can’t stand it anymore and then I want to feel you exploding deep inside me.”
“Tori,” Guy growled, lifting her so he could impale her.
“Yes,” she cried when he plunged.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he urged, kissing her savagely.
Guy did exactly as Tori described. By the time they were through, neither could speak. They wound up on the kitchen floor. Tori was on Guy’s lap with her ankles locked behind him. His spent shaft rested inside her. The only sound was their labored breathing.
Several long minutes later Tori lifted her head off Guy’s shoulder. “You’re perfect,” she whispered shyly.
“No, tiger,” Guy countered. “We’re perfect. Together, we’re perfect.”
“I should feel like I need to apologize but honestly, I don’t. I’m not even embarrassed by the way I pushed you into this again. I made you let me use you and I don’t feel at all guilty about it,” she admitted, more to herself than Guy.
“Hallelujah!” Guy shouted. “Listen up. Yes, you initiated the moment but you sure as hell didn’t push me into anything. I was a more than eager participant so you weren’t using me. As for apologizing and feeling guilty, don’t you dare do either. You wanted me. I wanted you. It’s that simple.”
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