Guy stood in Tori’s bedroom doorway, listening to her deep, even breathing as she slept. Harry lifted his head from his spot in the circle of her arms and blinked at him.
“Stay there,” Guy whispered softly. “Stay with Tori.” Guy stayed where he was as the kitten curled back up. After another minute, he went to the spare room to spend the night alone.
* * * * *
“Morning,” Tori greeted Guy cheerfully when he walked into the kitchen. “Thanks for letting me sleep. Hungry?”
“Yeah.” Guy noticed the large quantity of food on both the stove and the counter. “What’s all this?”
“Too much?” She followed his gaze. “You’re probably right but I’m starved and couldn’t make up my mind. Think of it as a celebration to mark the end of missed meals because I was too freaked out to eat.”
“Okay,” Guy agreed slowly. “Can I help?”
“Nope. Everything’s just about ready. Why don’t you sit down and let me wait on you for a change to say thanks for all the times you’ve fed me the last couple of weeks?”
“It was my pleasure, Tori. I don’t expect you to thank me.”
“I know but that is precisely why I want to.” She handed him a cup of coffee.
Guy let Tori babble as she arranged the various dishes of food on the table. He didn’t miss the fact that most of them ended up between them, making it impossible for him to capture her hand as he did more often than not at some point during each meal. Eventually, Tori’s chatter fizzled and died under his watchful gaze.
“Oh. Guess I’ll just shut up now so you can get started yelling at me.”
Guy frowned. “I’m not going to yell,” he stated. “You know I was worried and you know why and you already apologized. Nothing left to yell about.”
“Well, all right.” She shrugged and went back to eating until she couldn’t handle the way he continued to stare at her. “What?” she asked, dropping her fork and crossing her arms defensively.
For a moment, Guy silently searched her expression. With deliberate slowness, he took a bite of his breakfast. “That’s what I was about to ask you. What’s going on?”
“Oh gee.” She rolled her eyes. “Hmm, let me think. We’re having breakfast, Guy. I may not be the best cook in the world but you really should be able to identify all of this.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Guy refused to let her push him into raising his voice. “Try again.”
“Try again to do what?” She acted like she didn’t know what he was referring to and proceeded to eat. “I am having breakfast. If you’re doing something else then forgive me because I must have missed it.”
“You’re avoiding my question.”
Tori let her fork clatter to her plate as she left the table. She busied herself with disposing of her uneaten food and the dirty plate without answering him. She was putting the plate in the dishwasher when she felt Guy’s hands on her shoulders. When he turned her to face him, she forced herself to meet his eyes.
“Talk to me, Tori,” he coaxed gently. “You’re acting like we’re strangers and I don’t understand.”
Tori shook her head and sighed sadly. “Okay. Fine.” She backed out of touching range. “I tried to tell you this would happen but you wouldn’t listen.”
“You tried to tell me what?” Guy’s tone indicated he was close to losing his patience.
“I’m sorry.” She gave him a helpless look. “I’m being such a coward and I know that’s stupid of me. I really don’t want to hurt your feelings but I know I’m going to. You see, I woke up this morning and knew I couldn’t keep leading you on like I have been.”
“Leading me on?”
“Yes.” Tori backed around the table to maintain the distance between them. “It wasn’t intentional but that’s what I’ve been doing by letting you think we had some sort of future together.”
“You’re saying we don’t?”
“No. Not the kind you want. I do like you and wish we could find a way to be friends but it’s wrong of me to go on pretending that it could be more.”
“I see.” Guy’s eyes were cold. “You had this great epiphany and have all the answers and I’m just supposed to go along with it?”
“Guy, please.”
“No. I wasn’t finished. I’m not buying it. We have something special, damn it! Why are you denying it? I promised not to rush you and I won’t. I can be patient for as long as it takes you to be ready for us. You know I mean that so why are you running away from us?”
“There is no us,” Tori stated softly. “I’m sorry that you think I’m running away. I’m not because you can’t run from something that doesn’t exist. I know you think I’m wrong but you’ll see. Once you let yourself think about all we’ve been through together you’ll be relieved that we didn’t draw this out.”
Guy was speechless. Her tone sounded so final. As much as he wanted to argue until she agreed with him, he knew it was pointless at the moment. She was determined to convince herself that she was right and that anything he said was wrong. It might destroy him but Guy knew he had to back off. Give her a minimum amount of space while he showed her that she could count on him to stick by her, even now, when she no longer needed his physical protection.
Guy looked into her big, sad eyes, filled with pity over his inability to let go and almost laughed. He should have anticipated this new tactic to resist him. He was the one who insisted she give him a chance until the danger was over. Well, the danger was over and she wasn’t wasting any time reinforcing her contention that their attraction was merely a response to their circumstances.
“Tell yourself whatever you want, Tori, but nothing will change the simple fact that I love you. I don’t want to upset you so I’ll let you chase me out of your home. For now. But I will visit you here and at the library. I will call to talk to you about nothing in particular. I will pick you up so we can ride to Barry’s together. I may not be staying with you anymore but I will still be around constantly. I will wait, Tori. As long as you need me to. But nothing you say or do will keep me from loving you while I wait or telling you every chance I get. I wish you didn’t need to do this but you do and that’s that.”
Guy stunned her into standing in one spot so he had no trouble catching up with her. His hand landed on her waist and he drew her closer. “I do love you,” Guy whispered, claiming her lips. “I’ll always love you,” he insisted, kissing her with all the feelings he had. “I don’t want to leave you. I’d rather dump the table and spread you out on top of it and make you into that celebration feast. I want to spend today and every day making love to you and fucking you and everything in between. I know you want that as much as I do and I know you’re too afraid to admit it. I also know you’re not going to stay afraid forever. I’ll be waiting for that day too, Tori. When you’re ready for more of the pleasure you know you’ll find with me, I’ll be ready to provide it.”
With a deep sigh, Guy lowered his head and used his lips to give hers a tender caress. “I’m going to miss you, tiger. When you get too lonely, call me. Anytime, okay?”
Tori looked so lost that Guy had a difficult time walking away from her. More than anything, he wanted to grab her and kiss her until she was too senseless to use her fear to hide her own feelings. Then he wanted to use their bodies to show her how right he was. Instead of giving in, Guy packed his belongings and tossed them in his truck. He was sure she would prefer him to leave without saying more but he wasn’t willing to make this that easy for her.
Standing quietly until Tori acknowledged him, Guy waited to remove her key from his ring. With her watching, he twisted it off and placed it on the end table next to her chair. “I’m pretty sure I have everything.”
“Okay.” Tori stood nervously.
“There are some loose ends that you need to speak with Todd about.”
“I’ll call him and set something up.”
“Good.” He took a minute to study her. “Tori.”<
br />
“Please, Guy. Don’t.”
He shook his head as if fighting an internal battle. “I know but I have to,” Guy’s voice broke as he folded her in his arms, arranging hers so they went around his waist. “This is where we belong, in each other’s arms.” Tori dropped hers to her sides. “Aw, please. One minute, Tor, I’m begging you. Hold me for one more minute and then I’ll go.” He held his breath until her arms returned. “Thank you,” he whispered, holding on even tighter.
The silence stretched as Tori embraced Guy for much longer than he’d thought possible. When she sighed against his chest, it took all he had to resist the urge to caress her back to soothe her. Time seemed suspended as they continued to hold each other. Much to Guy’s disappointment, Tori remembered she was pretending not to want this. The instant she began to stiffen, Guy loosened his arms enough to let her put some space between their bodies.
“Please say you changed your mind and want me to stay.” He had to try again even though he knew he’d fail.
“I’m sorry.”
When Tori looked up at him, Guy could see unshed tears shining in her eyes in spite of the way she was struggling to hold them in. “Me too but you can’t blame a guy for trying.” Holding her gaze, he lowered his head for one last, gentle kiss. “See you soon.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
The phone rang, startling Tori so badly she dumped Harry off her lap even though she had been expecting it all day. Ever since she’d canceled her plans to spend Christmas day with Carla and Barry and their assorted families and friends, she knew it was only a matter of time before someone called her. At first, she thought that Diana would be the one. As the day wore on, she decided that Diana would hold off questioning her until they were face-to-face in the library so she could compare her responses with the expressions on her face. Yes, that was definitely what Diana would do.
Over the last week, Tori had felt Diana’s eyes on her many times throughout each day. As soon as Tori finished describing what had happened that night, Diana began to watch her with a thoughtful expression on her face. After Guy’s first visit, Diana stopped trying to hide it. Even though she hadn’t asked for an explanation for the changes between them, Tori felt compelled to give her one anyway. She listened without interrupting until Tori stopped talking and then, instead of offering different viewpoints, made a simple comment about how she understood that Tori needed to do what she thought was best for her.
That meant the person calling was Guy. Tori knew she had to answer the phone and speak with him. If she didn’t, he’d show up and talk to her in person and Tori didn’t feel capable of that at the moment.
“Merry Christmas,” she said cheerfully.
“Merry Christmas to you too, Tori,” Guy replied in a tone that shot straight through her heart. “I missed you today. Are you feeling better?”
“A little, thank you.” She had to get control of herself before she cried into the phone. “I hated to call Carla at the last minute like that. I hope she knows how much I wish I could have been there.”
“She does. There are tons of leftovers if you feel up to visiting tomorrow.”
“Oh yeah. Maybe. I’ll see how I feel in the morning.”
“Hmm.” Guy seemed to be struggling to keep his comments light. “I’m sure she’d love to see you but will understand if you can’t make it. Perhaps you can give her a call tomorrow if you’re still under the weather. You know she worries almost as much as Diana does.”
“I’ll do that, thanks.”
“Do you need anything? I’d be happy to come over and make you some tea and toast.”
“No, I’m good. Harry’s keeping me company.”
“I bet he’s been sitting with you all day. Animals can sense when you need a little TLC.”
“He’s been so sweet. I think he could tell my stomach was upset because he hasn’t pounced on it like he usually does.”
“Tell him I said he’s a good cat, taking care of you like that,” he paused. “Can we talk for a minute or should I let you go?”
“No, it’s okay.” Tori was as surprised by her answer as she had been his question.
“Thanks,” Guy chuckled warmly at her gasp. “I already mentioned that I missed seeing you today. I was looking forward to catching you under the mistletoe but I’m sure you were expecting that.”
“Yeah,” she admitted to both of them.
“Ah. You know that means you have to let me collect later, right?”
“As if I have a choice,” Tori grumbled. Her offhand comment was met with silence. “You still there?”
“Sorry. Yes, I’m still here. Tori? You always have a choice. You do know that, don’t you? You do know that I would never force you to kiss me if you seriously told me not to, right?”
Tori sighed. “Yeah, Guy, I know that. You are pushy and overbearing but I know you understand when no means no.”
“Thank goodness.” He relaxed. “I knew you liked kissing me.”
“I never denied that. I like a lot of things about you. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be friends.”
“Right. Friends. Want to know the other reason I was hoping to see you today?”
“I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“Oh, come on. You’re much too brave to be afraid of something I intended to discuss in public.”
“Fine, if you say so.”
“Too bad that doesn’t apply to other things. Someday,” he sighed. “For now all I wanted to do was ask if you had plans for New Year’s Eve. If you don’t, I’d be honored to have your company for the evening.”
“Guy.”
“Now wait. Before you say no let me add that I don’t have anything specific in mind. I have a whole list of possibilities—”
“Guy.”
“That cover all levels of how much personal interaction we’d have and—”
“Guy!”
“Damn. When you didn’t say yes right away I figured if I kept on talking you wouldn’t be able to say no either.”
“Wait. It’s not that. And no, I don’t have plans with someone else. But I’m not making any plans with you either. But not because of you. It’s because of me. I never celebrate New Year’s Eve. Never. It’s just another night to me.”
“Can I ask why?”
Tori snorted. “Sure. What the hell. You already heard about my parents’ parties so why not? Everything I told you about them was nothing compared to New Year’s Eve. That was the ultimate party, the big one that always topped the rest.”
“I’m sorry, Tori.”
“Why?” her voice sounded hard. “You weren’t there. You didn’t do the things that made me sick. You didn’t think it was hilarious when I covered my eyes so I couldn’t see anything after they refused to let me go to my room.”
“You’re right. But I’m still sorry. I wish I could erase those memories for you.”
“Really? I don’t. I don’t ever want to forget what people are really like underneath their phony smiles and fake concerns.”
“Not all people are fakes. Some of us are exactly as we seem.”
“Yeah, right,” she laughed without humor. “I’m really happy for you that you can still believe that but I know better. Hey, thanks for calling but I’m tired so I’m going to say goodnight now.”
“All right, I’ll let you get some rest. Please call me if you need anything, okay?”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Goodnight, Tori tiger. I love you.”
Tori hung up before she burst into tears. She had done it again. She’d turned into a raving bitch and all Guy had done was be nice to her. Some friend she was. If she kept this up, he’d decide trying to talk to her wasn’t worth putting up with her abuse and she’d never see him again. That thought made her cry even harder. When Harry nudged her cheek with his head, Tori gathered him in her arms and buried her face against his soft fur. She was grateful that he was there and wanted to comfort her. Animals could be trusted. If they acted like the
y loved you, they did. Too bad the same things didn’t apply to people.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Six days later, Tori was rinsing her cocoa mug when someone pounded on her door. For an instant she considered ignoring it but decided it had to be Guy and he’d break down the door and search the house if she didn’t open it. Primed for an argument, her mind went blank when someone she never expected to see again was standing on the other side.
“Hi, Tori,” Terese spoke when Tori didn’t. “I’m sorry to bother you but if you give me a few minutes you’ll understand. Can I come in?”
“Oh. Sure.” Tori shook herself. “Of course. Can I get you anything? Cocoa?”
“No, thank you.” Terese stayed so close that Tori had to look at her. “I can see you wish I were anyone but me and I can’t say that I blame you. I just found out that you heard part of what I said that night and that you left before Todd got me to understand that only you being there saved our Sarah.”
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop…”
“Kind of hard not to when I was screaming like I was. Don’t look so shocked. I know I have a big mouth. I said a lot of awful things before I learned what really happened. I reacted to what I thought was going on and lashed out at you indirectly and my brother, directly. My baby girl was almost harmed and I let my imagination take over even though she was perfectly safe and untouched. On top of that, my hormones were on a rampage. Anyone can tell you how out of control I’ve been the entire seven-plus months I’ve been pregnant. I can be happy as a clam and still bite Todd’s head off just for saying good morning to me. My point is that I was as wrong as wrong can be about you and I’m more sorry than you will ever know.”
“That’s okay. I understand why you would think that way.”
“Thanks but I wasn’t done,” Terese snarled and then laughed. “See what I mean? I can’t even apologize without snapping at you. Anyway, I need to ask you something that is none of my business but I expect an honest answer from you in spite of my rudeness,” she paused for Tori to argue. “If I had thanked you for putting your own safety at risk for the sake of my Sarah as I should have, would you still be involved with my brother? The truth now, Tori, or you’ll set me off in a very bad way.”
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