Nikki’s mind raced with possibilities. Perhaps Emma’s identity could be too easily tracked through Galen.
Perhaps Alice was afraid Galen wouldn’t want her daughter.
An even more unwelcome thought crossed Nikki’s mind. Perhaps, for whatever reason, Alice didn’t want to involve Galen.
And perhaps Nikki was wrong about everything. Maybe she’d simply contracted a case of Jean’s overactive imagination. She hoped so, because she simply couldn’t be a party to anything that would hurt Galen.
Determined to prove herself wrong, she doggedly continued through the album. She idly noticed his transformation from a boy to a teenager but diligently watched for pictures of his sister. By the time Nikki studied the last snapshots of his sister, she couldn’t deny the facts any longer.
The Alice Martin she’d met in her office was simply an older, more time-worn version of the teenage girl who so clearly had adored her older brother.
Questions pounded her like hailstones. Should she tell Galen her suspicions? Should she wait and hope that Alice would make contact with Galen?
And if Alice didn’t, could Nikki live with herself, knowing that she had information to set his mind at ease about his sibling’s whereabouts and hadn’t shared it?
The door opened and he breezed in. “All done,” he said cheerfully.
Nikki snapped the album closed and forced her expression into relaxed lines. “Any problems?” she asked.
“A few, which is why it took longer than I’d expected, but the water won’t be running all night.” He looked at her. “What have you been doing?”
Now wasn’t the time for him to look through the pictures with her. If he saw the resemblance between his sister’s baby pictures and Emma, she’d have to tell him what she knew or suspected. Until she’d thoroughly thought this situation through, Galen’s trip down memory lane would have to wait.
“Just looking through your photo album,” she said, hastily rising to replace it on the shelf. “I hope you don’t mind.”
He shrugged. “Not at all. It’s been a long time since I looked through it myself.”
“I could tell from the dust. Your mom took a lot of pictures of you.”
He smiled. “I understand it’s part of the first-kid-and-everything-he-does-is-cute syndrome.”
“My brothers complained about the same thing. Edward has tons of snapshots and Derek doesn’t have very many.”
“What about you? You came after Derek.”
“Ah, but I was the first girl, so that put me in the same league as Edward in the picture-taking department.”
“You’ll have to show them to me some time.”
“They’re at my place in Blue Springs,” she said, “but, yeah, I will. I saw some of your sister, too. What was her name again?”
“Mary.”
Mary. Maybe she’d changed her name to avoid being traced, but did that mean the legal papers weren’t legal? Nikki’s mind raced with possibilities, then decided that if Alice—er, Mary—had involved a lawyer, then there couldn’t have been any shady dealings, could there?
Although she wanted to ask more questions, she didn’t dare out of fear of raising Galen’s suspicions. Deciding to put as much distance as possible between herself and the album, she asked brightly, “Shall we go? It’s almost time for Emma’s bath.”
“All right.” He picked up her carrier and smiled at her sleeping form. “I know this sounds crazy, but she’s got to be the prettiest baby I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re prejudiced because you’re around her so much.”
“I guess. Still, there’s something about her that reminds me of someone…”
Nikki didn’t let him finish his sentence. “You know what they say, everyone has a twin somewhere in the world. I wouldn’t dwell on it, if I were you.”
She made a beeline to the door, determined to avoid the subject of babies and resemblances. Before she touched on this topic again, she wanted to weigh her choices and consider all the consequences.
Galen followed her out and locked the door behind him. “As much sleep as Emma has gotten today, I hope she sleeps tonight.”
Nikki nodded her agreement, although in truth it didn’t matter if Emma was awake or quietly dreaming her baby dreams. With these new facts staring her in the face, Nikki wouldn’t sleep at all.
CHAPTER NINE
GALEN strode toward the MEC the next morning, eager to see if Nikki’s preoccupation from last night had faded. He’d first noticed it after Annie’s bagpipe concert and wondered if Jared’s mention of coming back to work in a couple of weeks had caught her by surprise, too.
Had a month gone by already? It didn’t seem like it—a few days, a week at the most. However long the time, it had been four weeks of simply reconnecting with Nikki.
What about those nights when you two set the sheets on fire? his conscience asked. That sounds a little stronger than simply reconnecting.
An involuntary sheepish grin crossed his face. OK, so they’d done more than just renew their former acquaintance. The speed at which they’d jumped to an intimate relationship only proved what he’d suspected all along…Nikki was the woman who suited him as if they’d been made for each other. She was the one who made him realize that he wasn’t like his father, that he could have what everyone else took for granted. She was the one he wanted, not just for today but for every day.
She was the one he loved.
The question was, did she feel the same?
Up until now they’d concentrated on the present and hadn’t touched on the proverbial tomorrow. In his opinion it hadn’t been necessary. He’d stated his intentions from the beginning and had wanted to let their relationship develop without pressuring her. He’d been operating under the belief that he’d hit the ball in her court and she had to make the next move, but Jared had inadvertently reminded him how quickly they were approaching the end of the current game.
He’d thought about discussing the issue of where they went from here after Nikki had tucked Emma into bed last night, but she’d seemed so distant that he’d decided to wait. On the heels of that thought came another that raised all sorts of warning flags.
She was acting exactly as she had during their final weeks of residency, when she’d closed herself off and pretended that everything had been fine when it hadn’t been.
As far as he was concerned, that didn’t bode well for him. Rather than discussing their options, she’d been jumpy and uncommunicative, which only indicated that she either dreaded making a decision or, worse yet, she dreaded telling him of her decision. The timing was just too coincidental to be otherwise.
He might fearlessly wade into an emergency situation, deal with Code Blues and handle a man’s internal organs without batting an eyelash, but when it came to this, when it came to risking personal disappointment, he was as hesitant as a first-year medical student.
He could have pushed forward anyway, but he wasn’t any more eager to hear bad news than Nikki obviously was to give it. The problem was, both of them had abandonment issues to work out and both of them had trouble talking about their innermost thoughts. They’d shared more of themselves when they’d been residents, but that was what friends did. When they’d made the leap to lovers, the rules had subtly changed. The future had become a forbidden topic, as if they both expected to hurt each other and were trying to protect themselves from it.
Maybe he should have told her that he’d dropped a few strongly worded hints in Dr Thompson’s ears about adding another physician to their ER service. Knowing that she would be employed if she remained at Hope might make the difference.
Knowing that he loved her might sway her decision, too.
Then again, it might not.
If only he could get her to talk, to open up and tell him what was on her mind. He couldn’t counter her arguments if he didn’t know what they were.
Knowing he’d find Nikki in her office this early, he stopped there first. She was sittin
g in her chair, staring out the window, looking as neat as always but extremely exhausted.
“Did Emma keep you awake?” he commiserated.
She swiveled in her chair and gave him a weak smile before she began to flip through a chart on her desk. “Yeah. I gave Susan strict orders to keep her from napping all day. As noisy as the little people crowd was when I dropped Em off, she shouldn’t have any trouble.”
He’d noticed that she avoided his gaze, just as she had last night. “Wound up, were they?”
She nodded. “Susan said it means the weather will change.”
“Really? I wonder if her prediction will be more accurate than the meteorologists’.”
“Who knows? But it sounds good to me.” She hid a yawn behind her hand.
“You need some coffee.”
“I’m on my way to get a cup.”
“The stuff in the ER pot is stronger.”
“If Jean’s brew doesn’t do the trick, I’ll be over to beg some.”
His pager beeped. Duty called, so he quickly addressed the question he’d come to ask. “See you for lunch? Or would you rather take a nap?”
“Right now I’d vote for a nap,” she said ruefully, “but I’ll keep my options open.”
“Since you mentioned options,” he began, “we should talk about what we’ll do after Jared returns.”
She froze. “We should,” she said slowly, “but we can wait a few weeks, can’t we? We don’t need to make any decisions today.”
“No, but we shouldn’t wait until the last minute either.”
“I understand, but we also have Emma to consider.” Her laugh sounded forced. “I just realized…we have enough variables coming into play that our lives seem like a complicated algebraic equation.”
“It’s not that complicated to me. You either want to stay here in Hope with me, or you don’t.”
“I do, but…” She rubbed her forehead as if to ease a headache.
“But what?”
“But I have so many things to sort out. Emma is one of them. I can’t make any sort of decision unless I know if she will or won’t fit into our lives.”
“Becoming an instant father won’t bother me.”
Her smile was tight. “I didn’t think it would.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I just need a few more weeks,” she begged. “Please?”
What choice did he have? Galen nodded slowly. If she didn’t want to talk right now, if she had to sort through things in her own mind before she did, then he’d be patient for the next two weeks. Maybe by then they’d have a clearer picture of what lay ahead for all of them.
On Wednesday evening, Emma decided that no one but Galen could make her happy, so while he tucked her into bed Nikki retreated to the thinking spot on her balcony. The night air was still warm but it was quiet except for the chirp of the crickets and the occasional door slam. The stars blinked into existence one by one and out of habit she located the North Star via the Big Dipper. It may have helped early sailors find their way on the high seas, but unfortunately, it wasn’t doing much to help her set the course of her life.
She’d debated what to do with her suspicions about Emma for almost three days and had finally reached her decision. She simply didn’t have the heart to tell Galen, because she couldn’t stand knowing that she would be the one who put the hurt in his eyes.
She loved him too much to do that.
He might pretend that the news didn’t bother him, but she knew it would. Who wouldn’t be crushed by the knowledge that one’s own sister wouldn’t contact him or seek him out when she was in trouble? That she’d prefer to rely on a total stranger than a blood relative? How could she not trust her own brother?
No, it was Alice’s responsibility to contact him and to explain, not hers.
And yet how could she expect Alice/Mary to trust Galen when she didn’t?
It’s not that she didn’t trust him, she defended herself. She’d seen the women he preferred—tall, leggy blondes who had perfected the art of being coy—women like Susan.
Nikki had stopped at the day-care center during her late lunch-break and she’d seen the two of them chatting away moments before Susan had stepped close and hugged him. She’d tried to tell herself that it was all very innocent and not very mature on her part to go into orbit every time a female under the age of sixty-five spoke to him, but it was little things like this that only activated her insecurities. She just didn’t know how to stop this fruitless agonizing.
Maybe if she fit the description of the Susans, the Trinas, and the Annabelles, she wouldn’t worry so much, but the fact was, she didn’t. For all she knew, she was simply a novelty that would someday wear off.
She sensed Galen’s presence before he joined her at the railing. “She’s asleep,” he said. “Finally.”
Nikki grinned. “Have you noticed that when she’s extra tired, she wants you?”
“Yeah. I can’t figure out why, though.”
Nikki wondered if Emma sensed her blood tie with Galen on some elemental level. “Maybe she just goes for the strong, silent type.”
“Probably,” he agreed. “Speaking of silent types, you’ve been quiet the last few days.”
She decided to bluff. “Have I?”
“Yeah. Any particular reason?”
“I’ve had a lot on my mind, I suppose.”
“Like what?”
Nikki glanced at him, seeing his face wreathed in a shadow cast by the light shining behind him.
“I called my boss today,” she said.
“And?”
“I asked for a month’s vacation after I finish my contract at Hope.”
“Really? You didn’t have another job waiting?”
“I refused to go for personal reasons.”
He leaned his left side against the railing in a picture of ease that contrasted sharply with his intent gaze. “Where are you planning to spend your vacation?”
“Why, here, of course.”
His face relaxed into a smile. “What made you decide to stick around town?”
She had several reasons, none of which she could explain. While it was true that she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him behind, she still had her doubts about them staying a couple for the long haul. Granted, ninety per cent of her believed they could make it work, but the remaining ten per cent was enough to make her hesitate.
Then there was the matter of Emma. If these weeks were Galen’s only opportunity to spend time with his niece, then she wanted them to last as long as possible. It would be her gift to him, although he would never know it.
“It seemed silly to uproot Emma for a few weeks,” she said instead.
“Good idea, but what would you have decided if Emma hadn’t been a consideration?”
“But she was, so it doesn’t matter, does it?” she prevaricated.
“I suppose not,” he answered slowly.
But somehow Nikki received the impression that it did.
On Thursday afternoon, Nikki scolded herself for falling back into her old habits of hugging her feelings to herself. She could fight other people’s battles without batting an eye and wade into someone else’s fray without hesitation, yet when it came time to fight for herself she either gave up at the first sign of resistance or let someone else take the initiative.
She should have told Galen how she’d felt last night, instead of dancing around the issue or waiting for him to pledge his undying love. So why hadn’t she?
On Friday, before she could puzzle out the answer to her own question, which was still niggling at her, her pager beeped. She called the ER, learned that they were expecting several car accident victims and could she be there in ten minutes?
She arrived in five and had started to gown up in the disposable protective gown, latex gloves, and face shield when Galen joined her.
“MV As are starting early,” he remarked as he slipped the yellow gown over his royal blue scrub suit.
/>
“It’s Friday,” she said. “Everyone gets in a rush because they’re going out of town for the weekend.”
“Probably headed to the lake. It’s where people go to beat the heat.”
“Not me,” she teased. “I can’t swim.”
“You can’t? Why not?”
“It’s not that I can’t swim,” she corrected. “I can, a little, but I have to be able to see and touch the bottom. Who knows what dangerous sea creatures lurk beneath the surface?”
He laughed. “Sea creatures, eh? I doubt if any relatives of the Loch Ness monster live in the lake around here.”
“One never knows.” Then, becoming more serious, she asked, “What are we expecting?”
“The usual. Spinal injuries, internal bleeding, the whole nine yards.”
“How many?”
“Four. Three males and one female. According to the paramedics’ report, the male and female in the compact car are in worse shape than the two guys in the pickup.”
“Is Radiology ready?” she asked.
“And waiting. Lab and respiratory therapy are on their way.”
Ravi yelled from the ambulance bay door, “They’re here.”
Galen pulled on his face shield and a pair of latex gloves. “It’s show time.”
Nikki waited for the paramedics to bring in the victims. Annie and her partner had their hands full with the male and female while their two colleagues were busy with the two men they had transported.
Galen waved Nikki into the trauma room with the two men and she rapidly assessed the twenty-two-year-old driver who was deemed to have the more severe injuries. He was strapped to his backboard and complained of chest pain. Because his breathing was labored, she immediately ordered a chest and sinus X-ray after deciding that the blood covering his face was from a broken nose.
His passenger, who appeared to be the same age, had suffered bumps, bruises, and facial lacerations, which would also require stitches. Otherwise he was fine, and the lab results confirmed it later.
“Will I have scars all over my face?” he asked.
“Not if I do my job right,” she answered with a smile.
His buddy, who’d just returned from Radiology and was lying in the next bed, managed a chuckle. “You were too pretty anyway, Todd.”
The Baby Rescue Page 14
