"Jah, I can't go courting in my farming clothes."
Esther giggled.
"Do you think your mudder will be awake and sitting up, ready to scare me away?"
Jacob's tone was lighthearted but Esther gritted her teeth. "Perhaps. My schweschders and I missed the volleyball before the Singing. I suspect Mamm took us home after the church meeting to keep me away from you."
Jacob navigated a sharp bend in the road before he spoke. "Your vadder approves of me, though?"
Esther hurried to reassure him. "Of course he does, Jacob, and your bruder works for him, and what's more, Noah's married to my schweschder. Mamm's fine about that now, so she'll come around to you in time." As soon as she'd said the words, Esther realized that she was acting as if dating Jacob was for real rather than pretend, and then laughed so hard she clutched her stomach.
"What's so funny?" Jacob turned to her, and although it was too dark to see his face, Esther could feel his eyes on her.
"For minute I thought we were dating for real." Esther burst into a fit of giggles. When Jacob didn't respond, her mood grew more solemn. Menner, she thought, there's just no understanding them. He appears to be offended that I was laughing about dating him, yet he knows it's all pretend. How strange.
The two continued their journey in silence. The dark enveloped them, and Esther remembered when she was a child, and afraid of the clothes hanging on the pegs on the wall. Her mudder had to tell her that the frightening shapes were just clothes and nothing sinister. Her mudder always scolded her for having an over-active imagination. Now, as they drove along, the tree branches seemed to reach out to clasp at her. Nevertheless, she felt safe with Jacob there. He would never let anything happen to her. He was strong, and gentle, and kind. When he did marry, his fraa would be a very blessed woman indeed. Esther was unable to suppress a little shudder.
As Jacob stopped the buggy outside Esther's haus, Mr. Miller came over to them. "I expect you'll be here for an hour to two, Jacob. I'll put your horse in a stall and give him some hay. You two young ones go ahead into the haus."
"Denki, Mr. Miller."
As the hour was late, Esther had hoped her parents and schweschders would be asleep so that Jacob and she wouldn't have the stress of keeping up appearances. Sadly, that was not to be. Her mudder was sitting at the kitchen table, a tight-lipped smile on her face. "Hullo, Jacob."
"Hullo, Mrs. Miller."
Mrs. Miller nodded curtly to Jacob and then looked at Esther. "Did you have a gut time at the Singing, Esther?"
"Jah, Mamm, denke."
"Gut." Mrs. Miller said the word almost as an accusation.
Jacob and Esther sat at the kitchen table, and the three of them sat in uncomfortable silence. After what seemed an age, Mr. Miller returned. He walked into the kitchen and then made a show of stretching and yawning. "Ach, I'm so tired. Aren't you tired, Rachel?"
Mrs. Miller glared at him. "Nee."
"Of course you are, Rachel. Let's go and get some sleep. Guten nacht, Jacob, Esther."
Jacob and Esther both said good night, and Mrs. Miller very reluctantly followed her husband out of the door and up the stairs.
When they were safely out of earshot, Esther laughed. "Datt made that obvious. Just as well we weren't dating; it would've been embarrassing."
Jacob laughed. "Jah." He rubbed his stomach. "Did you mention food? I'm starving, since you wouldn't let me eat at the Singing."
Esther let out a mock groan. "Sure, I'll make you a mug of hot chocolate. Now we have Shoo-fly pies, and rhubarb pie - oh, and there's Apple Pandowdy but it's not hot. I could heat it."
"Do you have cream and nutmeg?"
"Jah."
"I prefer Apple Pandowdy cold, with cream and nutmeg, if that's okay. Denki," he added.
Esther went to make the hot chocolate but then looked over her shoulder. "Oh, would you rather have corn soup with rivels? It would only take me about fifteen minutes to make it."
Jacob shook his head. "Nee, denki. I have a sweet tooth, which you'd better take notice of if you're going to make me a suitable fraa."
"Hmmpf!" Esther said, and threw an oven mitt at him. He caught it with one hand, and smiled triumphantly.
* * *
Jacob sat alone as Esther went to make him a mug of hot chocolate. He was a little embarrassed that he had called her Mei Lieb, My Love, earlier, but Esther clearly thought that was simply part of their pretence. He'd have to watch his words more closely from now on. Still, it was easy to forget that they were only pretending to be dating.
Esther returned with two hot chocolates and a plate of pumpkin whoopie pies.
"You like your menner plump, do you Esther? You're always trying to fatten me up."
Esther laughed. Jacob loved looking at Esther's face when she laughed. Her whole face lighted up, her blue eyes shone, and tiny little creases formed around her eyes.
"Your mudder wasn't happy to see me, as we predicted," he said. "I hope she has no objection to us getting married." Jacob carefully studied Esther's face for her reaction. So far, she appeared quite puzzled.
Esther leaned over to Jacob and whispered, "Do you think she's listening from the other room?"
Jacob just winked at her.
Psalm 90:8.
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
Chapter 8 .
Esther lay in the summer sun. The soft breeze stirred the surface of the pond, while ducks raced here and there, through the rustling reeds. Jacob tied his horse, Barney, to a low branch, leaving him in the pleasant shade, and returned to their picnic spot on the grass. Esther smoothed down her simple dress, happy to watch as Jacob unpacked the basket. For their picnic by the pond, he had brought sandwiches and lemonade, meat pies and stuffed peppers, baked corn and scalloped sweet potatoes.
"Thank you for going to so much trouble," said Esther, sleepily. The sun pressed upon her bare face, and it made her feel tired and content. The company helped her good mood, too. When Jacob had asked her to go on a buggy ride with him, she was a little hesitant at first, though it would help her with the Amos situation. Martha and Rebecca would tease her about falling in love with Jacob, she had no doubt. She had decided to go in the end and now felt very happy with her choice.
Jacob handed her a cooling glass of lemonade. "No problem," he replied with a mischievous wink. "I hope Martha and Rebecca don't tease you too much."
"Sometimes I think that you can read my mind."
She watched Jacob eat his meat pie, fascinated by the freckles splattering his nose. In the summertime, all the Hostetler brothers were baked golden by their work with their father on the farm, so his freckles would often be camouflaged by the tan. Esther could not remember if she had ever sat this close to Jacob before; perhaps the summer light drew out all these little curiosities about a person you could never see in the dimmer months.
"I wish I could," Jacob said, after a minute. He took a sip of his lemonade. "Then I wouldn't have to ask you so many questions."
"You want to ask me questions?" Esther replied, not able to keep the surprise out of her voice.
"Sure. Like, how come you agreed to a buggy ride with me today, when you know Martha and Rebecca are going to spend the next week teasing you endlessly? Surely Amos is not that bad?"
Amos is that bad, and some people are worth all the teasing in the world, thought Esther. "I don't mind the teasing," she said, although it wasn't quite true. "It's worth it for lemonade this good. I still can't believe how much trouble you went to. Even Barney seems to be enjoying himself."
"He's a good horse," replied Jacob, simply.
They watched as Barney lazily flicked away flies with the sweep of his tail. The ducks, curious about the pair sitting by their pond, waddled over to steal the crusts of the sandwiches now. Esther laughed as the smallest, although the most courageous, duck nipped at the crumbs dropped by its larger friends. Jacob watched her while she laughed, and she could feel t
he blush creeping into her cheeks.
"Have you always had freckles?" she blurted out, desperate to break the quiet.
"Oh." Jacob hesitated. He was surprised, perhaps, by the randomness of her question. "Actually, I did not know I had freckles?"
"Millions of them."
"Oh, good," he replied, his crooked grin making Esther's heart flutter. She laughed, too. "Girls like freckles?" He turned and gazed at Esther with a sudden intensity. "Girls do like freckles, don't they?"
"They would like your freckles," whispered Esther, placing a hand on her prayer kapp to make sure no curls had escaped. It also meant she could shade her face with the palm of her hand. She really was blushing now, and the intense gaze of Jacob was not helping. "I mean, all the girls love the Hostetler brothers, don't they?"
"You don't need all the girls to love you. Just the right one," said Jacob. He no longer smiled now. Esther wished he would. The sight of his signature grin made her melt.
"I appreciate you doing this for me," she volunteered. "I hate to be dishonest with our families and friends, but what else can I do when everyone wants me to marry Amos?"
"I'd do anything to stop you from marrying Amos. Wait. No. I only meant that I would do anything to help you avoid a marriage your heart was not in. That's all. I have nothing against Amos, even if he is good looking." Jacob did smile now, though a little sheepishly. "Besides I get to spend a nice day with a beautiful girl. It's a win all around for me."
"You're not so bad yourself," Esther said.
Jacob swallowed hard. "It's none of my business, and it is probably a really silly question, but how come you're not interested in Amos? Is there - there is not someone else, is there?"
"No," Esther said, quickly. She took a sip of the lemonade while Jacob fixed his gaze upon her. "There's no spark with Amos, Jacob. I'm not interested in him at all, though I couldn't give you a solid reason why. I keep coming back to the lack of a connection. It isn't a reason I can tell my familye though. My mudder just doesn't understand such things as true love."
"Your mother really is set on you marrying Amos, isn't she?"
"She is. I don't know if this plan's even going to stop her matchmaking ways. I wish it would. If I married Amos, I fear it would be a very unhappy marriage. I don't want to raise my children in an unhappy home."
"I can't wait to have kinner," replied Jacob, with a sigh.
Esther imagined Jacob with children. "You'd make a very good father," she said, placing the picnic things back in the basket. "I hope you find someone who will make a good mudder to your children."
"I think I already have," he replied, quietly, and Esther did not hear him.
1 Corinthians 4:5.
Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.
Chapter 9 .
"Amos is coming to dinner tonight." Mrs. Miller banged a saucepan as she made the pronouncement.
"Again? But he was only just here the other day." Esther screwed up her nose at her mudder. "Why does he have to come again?" She knew she sounded whiny and rude, but she just did not care. It was simply intolerable that her mudder would continue with her matchmaking attempts when she clearly knew that she had gone on more than one buggy ride with Jacob.
Mrs. Miller stomped her foot, and her eyes blazed. "Mind your manners, Esther. I shall invite anyone I choose to share our table."
Esther walked away from her mudder shaking her head. Sometimes it was no use arguing with her. Her mudder never really listened to her and besides, she could never see anyone's point of view but her own.
"Mind you, I'll need some help with the cooking."
Esther heard her mudder's comment as she walked away. "Jah, Mamm." It was obvious that her mudder was going to credit Esther with the cooking once more in an effort to impress Amos. That was a ploy that was too obvious to bother complaining about. Her mudder would just brush her words aside, even if she attempted to protest.
"And Esther, put on a clean dress for dinner – and clean yourself up a little." Her mudder's voice echoed through the haus.
"Jah, Mamm," Esther called in reply, yet she had no intention of going to any trouble whatsoever for Amos or for anyone else who her mudder might invite to dinner.
Once Esther was in her room she pulled off the dress she had been in all day and pulled on a fresh one. That was the least she would do to keep her mudder happy with her. She knew if she went down in the same dress, her mudder would only send her back to get changed. Esther sighed. Why can't Mamm let me choose my own mann? she thought. Esther did not even want to court anyone, but if she did, she was certain that she would not want anyone's help. Things like that just happen – she was certain of that.
Esther had only been in her room a few short moments before her mudder called for her again. "I'm coming, Mamm," she called.
Esther hurried into the kitchen and pulled on a large apron that was used for cooking, a different one from those used for daywear. "What would you like me to do?"
Her mudder turned around with a wooden spoon held in the air and ran her eyes up and down Esther, clearly not happy with what she saw. "Did you wash?"
"Jah." Esther's eyes dropped to the floor. She had just lied to her mudder, but she could not go to a lot of fuss to wash before dinner. Esther always washed just before bedtime and she was not going to have a double washing just because her mudder was trying to push her onto a mann who was totally unsuited to her.
"Gut, and that dress is a gut color for you." Her mudder turned back to the saucepan in front of her, obviously forgetting Esther's question about what she wanted her to do.
Esther pulled out one of the chairs in the kitchen and slumped into it. She knew that her mudder liked to be the only one to do all the cooking on special occasions. Esther knew she would only be doing a tiny bit here and there to make it appear that she had cooked.
"You can shell the peas for me." Her mudder pointed to the green pods in the sink.
"Jah, Mamm." Esther tried to make her tone as even as possible, as she knew that her mudder would take exception to her tone, no matter how even it was.
"What's wrong with you, Esther? Don't you know all the trouble I'm going to for you?"
Esther sighed. Her mudder was clearly in one of her moods. "I just said – jah, Mamm."
Her mother slammed her wooden spoon down. "It was the way you said it. Sometimes I don't know why I bother."
There was nothing Esther could say, so she thought it best to stay silent and let her mudder have her say.
Mrs. Miller face grew redder and redder. "I just want you to make a gut marriage and Amos is such a lovely boy."
Esther toyed with the idea of telling her mudder that marriage was the furthest thing from her mind, and that even if it wasn't, then she would be quite capable of choosing her own mann. She decided against it - what was the point? It would only make her mudder angry.
"Well, don't you think so?"
"Jah, Mamm. I mean, I guess so."
As Esther shelled the peas, she wondered why her mudder still held such a dislike for the Hostetler familye. Her daed had been able to forgive them, so why couldn't her mamm? Besides, the ministers always said that unforgiveness was a grave sin.
"Mamm, don't be angry with me, but I must say this."
Her mudder turned around with her nostrils flaring. "What is it?" she snapped.
"You know that I've gone on buggy rides with Jacob, don't you?"
Her mudder stood staring at her and said coldly, "What of it?"
"It's a little odd that you bring a boy to dinner when I'm going on buggy rides with another boy." Esther considered herself very brave by bringing the obvious to her mamm's attention.
Her mudder didn't say a word, but turned back to stirring a pot on the stove. She stirred it a little too vigorously, causing the contents to s
pray out.
After Esther had helped her mudder in the kitchen for a while, she heard the sound of a buggy. The buggy had to be Amos arriving for dinner. Esther had to admit she was a little pleased that he had arrived, not because she liked him, but because her mudder was giving her the silent treatment. The last half hour cooking in the kitchen with her mudder had been quite tense.
"I'll go let him in," Esther said to her mudder. Her mudder remained silent with the same fixed, stony expression on her face.
Esther hurried to the door, glad to have finally escaped her mudder's anger. "Come in, Amos."
"Nice to see you again, Esther."
Jah, 'Nice to see you again so soon,' is what he should have said, Esther thought. Amos has to think it odd that he's been asked for dinner again, and so soon.
After Esther's mudder rang the dinner bell, everyone gathered around the table and took their seats. The dinner bell was an old, brass cow bell that Esther's daed had recently found in the fields and given to her mudder. The noise it made rather grated on Esther's nerves, but tonight was not the time to voice her views on the cow bell.
Esther wondered what on earth she could talk to Amos about, since she was sure she had exhausted everything that they could possibly talk about last time he was there for dinner. Thankfully Amos and Martha seemed to be having a nice little chat amongst themselves.
Esther examined her schweschder's face as she spoke to Amos. There was a definite sparkle in her eyes and every now and then there was a little flutter of her eyelashes. It seemed to Esther that there was something happening between the two of them and she looked at her mudder to see if she had any inkling of what was happening.
As Esther caught her mudder's eye, her mudder interrupted Amos and Martha. "Amos, did I mention to you that Esther cooked the bean and beef casserole?"
A chill ran through Esther's body, and if she could have crawled under the table, she would have. It was an exact replica of the previous time that Amos had been invited to dinner, and no less embarrassing for the both of them.
The Amish Millers Get Married BOXED SET Books 1-3 (Amish Romance Book Bundle: The Way Home, The Way Forward, The Narrow Way) (Boxed Set: Amish Millers Get Married) Page 12
