by Lisa Edmonds
I wished I could tell him that I’d been raised to think of myself as literally a tool and a weapon and not as having inherent value beyond my usefulness, but I wasn’t ready to reveal that about myself.
Besides, I was beginning to understand that I didn’t listen enough when Malcolm talked, so I shut up and listened.
When I said nothing, he went on. “It hurts us when you don’t seem to notice how much we worry about you or you brush us off when we express concern. I’m sure this is all a result of what you went through before you came here, but it makes it hard to be around you sometimes. Feeling you die and then you acting like it was no big deal was the last straw for Sean.”
“Did you talk to him?”
He nodded. “After you fell asleep, I went to check on him and we talked for a bit. I’m sorry, but as much as I hate what happened between you, I can’t blame him for feeling the way he does.”
“Neither can I.”
“You don’t?”
I shrugged wearily and rubbed my eyes. “Everything you both said to me is true. I don’t know how to fix this about myself, but I do know I screwed up. I can’t turn back time and do it over, and though I owe Sean an apology for not thinking more about his feelings, I’m not sorry for what I did with the cuff or that I helped get Stevens even though he didn’t want me to.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty angry about the Stevens situation.” He made a face. “He cares about you a lot, Alice. Maybe you should give him a call and tell him what you just told me about realizing you messed up.”
“He told me he needed time. I’m no expert in this sort of thing, but I’m pretty sure that meant more than eight hours.” I headed downstairs with Malcolm following as Rogue ran ahead of us to stand by the back door. “In the meantime, I’ve got plenty of stuff to do to keep me busy.”
“Like what?”
“Clean up all that spellwork in the basement, for starters. Aaron will be sending a courier over in a bit to drop off a check from Esther and pick up the mirror and the cup, so I need to get those boxed up. Then I’m going shopping for new living room furniture. Maybe some new patio furniture too, if I can find some that I like.”
“Well, that does sound like a full day,” Malcolm said, watching me with narrowed eyes. “And then what?”
“Then I’ll find more stuff to do.” I let Rogue out into the backyard and headed for the kitchen to make coffee. “Oh, hey—there’s something I meant to ask you the other day, but I forgot. When I was checking you for more of those hidden retrieval spells, I found the spell that links us together. I think there’s a condition that will break the spell. Do you know what it is?”
He looked bemused and shook his head. “No, I have no idea. I would tell you if I did.”
I sighed. “I guess that’ll stay a mystery for now. Come on—let’s go to the basement and get to cleaning.”
That night, I was on my back porch in shorts and a T-shirt, drinking Scotch and relaxing on one of my new chaise lounges, when the perimeter wards tingled. I didn’t bother to get up; if it was who I thought it was, my visitors knew where to find me.
The back gate creaked open and closed. Charles appeared out of the darkness, wearing a dark gray suit. I didn’t see anyone with him, but either Bryan or Adri was somewhere close by, watching us.
The garden rustled ominously when he came into view. Charles paused to study the plants, then turned to me with raised eyebrows. “Fascinating. Your garden recently consumed an entire human body, and yet it seems interested in eating me as well.”
I sipped my whisky and set the glass down on the table. “It likes blood—the more powerful, the better. I’m sure it would find you to be quite a delicacy. Strange to be the food for a change, isn’t it?”
“You must share your gardening tips with me.”
“Why, what are you thinking about growing? A conscience?”
He chuckled and climbed the steps to where I was reclining. “You have new furniture.”
“You’re very observant.” I gestured at the second chaise lounge. “Take a load off.”
He unbuttoned his suit jacket and settled into the lounge, crossing his ankles. “Surprisingly comfortable.” He glanced at the table between us, where a second, unused glass waited next to the bottle of Dalwhinnie. “Did you anticipate my arrival?”
“Let’s just say I had a feeling you’d be coming around. Help yourself.”
As he poured himself two fingers of Scotch, I toyed with my glass. “I finally had a few minutes today to do a bit of reading on vampire objects of power, particularly the Tepes stone you purchased at the auction. You’ve got a tiger by the tail, don’t you?”
He sipped his whisky. “It would seem so, yes.”
“And you don’t think it’s going to turn around and bite you?”
“Perhaps I believe it is better I should have possession of this tiger than someone like Vincent Barclay or one of his associates. But I did not come here to discuss the stone.” He studied me. “Are you recovered from last night’s unpleasantness?”
“Still recovering.” I shrugged. “I get dizzy if I stand up too fast and I have a weird headache. I’m sure it will pass.”
Charles rested his glass on his thigh and watched the plants in my garden swaying back and forth. “I have heard a rumor that your sacrifice was not as well-received as it might have been and you were sent away.”
Of course he’d heard about what happened between Sean and me. “Did you come here to gloat?”
“No.”
Oddly, I believed him.
He glanced at me. “Your hurt weighs heavily on me. I can no longer share my thoughts with you, but I sense the pain this rejection has caused you. I do not understand the cause of the wolf’s decision to end your relationship, especially so soon after you saved his life at great personal cost.”
I didn’t bother explaining that requesting time apart wasn’t the same as an outright breakup. “He appreciated what I did, but not how I did it.”
“He objected to how you obtained the second cuff?”
“He objected to how I died and didn’t apologize when I woke up.”
He frowned and tilted his head. “You should have apologized for dying?”
“Yep.” I sipped my whisky.
“If this is a joke, I do not understand the humor in it.”
“It’s pretty damn far from a joke.” My voice was bitter. “If you didn’t come here to gloat, why are you here?”
He rotated the glass in his hands, watching the reflection of the moonlight in the amber liquid. “I have been preoccupied with the question of how you survived and how you severed our connection so thoroughly. I believe I have uncovered the explanation for how it was accomplished.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“You did not do it yourself.”
When I didn’t reply, he said, “I understand you went to Northbourne and requested an audience with Valas after you left my home. Approximately one hour later, you departed in your vehicle, seemingly alone. Not long after your departure, a Court-owned limousine left the estate. It returned to Northbourne an hour later and unloaded its passenger via a private entrance.”
He put his glass on the table and turned to face me, sitting up with his feet on the concrete. “I must conclude that you went to the Hastingses’ home with Valas. She not only assisted you in reaching Maclin, but she also caused both your death and your return to life. It was Valas who severed our connection. Was it at your request?”
If I denied that Valas had been involved, Charles would sense my deception, so I went with evasion. “The Court can’t interfere in a pack matter; you said so yourself.”
His eyes went silver. He caught my wrist and held it. “You have placed yourself in Valas’s debt. I can think of no greater folly than what you have done. She is no kind benefactor.”
“And you are?” I pulled my arm from his grip. “If I made a deal, it was worth it to save Sean. It didn’t turn out exactly how I plann
ed, but he’s alive and that’s what matters.”
“Did you tell Maclin about your agreement with Valas?”
Blood magic spooled around my hands as my eyes grew warm and glowed. “If you breathe a word of this to anyone, especially Sean, I will kill you. And now you know that I don’t make idle threats.”
“Tell me the terms of your agreement with Valas. I will assist you in renegotiating the deal if I can.”
“The terms of our agreement are confidential. I’m courting trouble even by having this discussion with you.” I drained the last of my whisky. “If you’d told me about the second cuff from the beginning, maybe none of this would have happened. I’m not saying you’re to blame because I made my own choices, but I wouldn’t have ended up in Valas’s audience chamber last night if it hadn’t been for your games.”
Charles said nothing for several long moments. His face was blank. I couldn’t tell if he felt bad about what he’d done, or if he was merely trying to work out what kind of deal I might have struck with the head of the Vamp Court.
When he spoke, I decided it had been the latter. “If Valas severed the connection between us, it was because she did not want me to interfere with her plans. Perhaps she did not wish you to be able to call to me for help.” His eyes widened. “Or perhaps…Alice, if you fail to meet your obligations to Valas, is the price your life?”
I said nothing.
He tried to take my face in his hands, but I knocked them away. “You are mad,” he said roughly. “She means to turn you. Whatever you have agreed to do in return for her assistance, she will ensure that you fail so you will become a vampire of her line. It would not be the first time she has done such a thing.” His eyes glowed in anger. “Why did you not tell me that you intended to go to her? I would have found another way to save the wolf.”
“Yes, I’m sure you would have done that out of the goodness of your heart,” I scoffed.
“Perhaps not, but I would not have tricked you into making a deal that would cost you your life.”
“So you say now.” I shook my head. “What’s done is done, Charles. We’ve all made our beds and now we get to lie in them. I won’t forget that you kept the second cuff a secret or that you tried to torpedo my relationship by telling Sean about my reaction to your bite.”
“I spoke out of jealousy and anger. I am not proud of what I said.” He leaned forward. “Allow me to drink from you again and reinstate our link.”
Infuriated, I rose. “You are the most shameless—”
He stood and caught my wrist again. “Not for my benefit; for yours,” he snapped. “Without our link, you will not be able to call on me to help you. Now you cannot rely on Maclin or his pack to protect you. You have only your ghost and his powers are limited. How will you protect yourself if you are alone?”
“The same way I always have. Let go of me.”
He released my arm. “I will not let you face Valas alone.”
“You don’t seem to understand that you don’t get a say in what I do. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am not yours to protect, and I sure as hell don’t need you to let me do anything. Now, please leave.”
He studied me. “Very well, but should you need assistance, you know how to reach me.” He drank the remainder of his whisky and set the glass on the table. “Maclin is a fool to send you away. You were willing to give your life to save his, and he behaves as though he has been wronged. If you had made such a sacrifice for me, all that I have and all of eternity would be yours.”
There was little point trying to explain Sean’s point of view to Charles. He had even less capacity for empathy than me. “Good night, Charles.”
He met my eyes. I read in them his intent to say something in confidence. Since we could no longer share our thoughts, I reluctantly presented my cheek for a good-night kiss.
He brushed his cool lips along my jaw. “Good night, Alice.” With his mouth near my ear, he breathed words so softly that I barely heard them. “She is not invincible. Should you need to know how to defeat her, you have only to ask.” He took two steps back, then turned to cross my porch and walk down the steps. He joined Bryan, who had appeared, as usual, out of the shadows.
I watched as they crossed my backyard. Halfway to the gate, Charles glanced back. I leaned against the porch railing and gave him a slight nod. He nodded back and they disappeared around the corner of the house. The gate didn’t creak, but a few moments later I felt the wards tingle as they left my property.
No doubt Charles’s information would come with a price, but it was a good option to keep in my back pocket for when Valas tried to turn our deal against me. That she would was inevitable, but maybe I’d have a few surprises in store for her when she did.
Several days passed with no word from Sean. Workmen sent by Charles came to repair the hole in the wall he’d made the night Fortune was killed. I deposited Esther’s check, took delivery of my new living room furniture, deep-cleaned the house room by room, punched the heavy bag for at least an hour each day, created wards for my informant Phil, and utterly failed to not think about Sean every damn minute.
In the meantime, the city was eerily quiet. There hadn’t been any more magic attacks since the one that damaged the Heights the day Sean and I had visited Walsh & Quinn to get the mirror. The feds and the mayor were still demanding answers and accountability for the attacks on Darius Bell’s cabal, but no one had been charged or even arrested. I assumed Catherine was trying to track Bell down and once she found him, all bets were off. Moses had to be apoplectic that she’d failed to kill him. My grandfather was not renowned for his patience. If she didn’t deliver Bell’s body soon, she risked being recalled to Baltimore to face Moses’s wrath in person.
On the fourth day, I got a call from a woman who wanted wards around the new home she’d just bought with her fiancé. The property backed up to a cemetery and she worried that ghosts and other spirits would haunt the house. That project kept me busy and distracted for the rest of that day and most of the next. The only downside was that Malcolm couldn’t help with the wards—ghost-proof wards meant no ghost assistant.
Once the project was complete, I went out and had drinks with Arkady at a dive bar. She listened sympathetically to my tale of woe and bought me shots while I talked about Sean. We both got drunk and sang karaoke. She chose a Stevie Nicks song and sounded pretty great. I went with “Heartache Tonight” by the Eagles.
We had so much fun that we decided to come back the following week. We also made plans to visit her favorite gun range over the weekend and maybe have brunch after. I had no idea how to do the “bestie” thing, but thought maybe I was getting the hang of it.
When I got home that night, Malcolm was out “doing ghost stuff,” as he called wandering around the city. The house was dark and quiet. I sat in the living room with the lights off, curled up on my new sofa.
I looked up when Rogue whined, thinking he was at the back door asking to be let into the yard. Instead, he sat in the foyer, staring at the leash on the hook by the front door. It wasn’t hard to figure out what was upsetting him.
“He’s not coming over tonight,” I told the dog. I rose and headed for the stairs. “Come on. Let’s go to bed.”
Reluctantly, Rogue followed me upstairs and lay in his bed by the window while I washed my face and brushed my teeth. When I crawled into bed, he came over and put his chin on the mattress.
We generally didn’t let the dog up onto the bed, but what the hell. I patted the bed. “Come on up, fur-face.”
Rogue jumped up onto the bed and immediately settled down on the side closest to the bathroom, the side that still smelled like Sean.
I sat on my side of the bed for a while, listening to the dog’s light snore and wondering what Sean was doing right now. Once or twice I started to reach for my phone, but I stopped myself from calling. He’d asked me for time. I didn’t know if that meant days or weeks or forever, but I’d give him at least a little more tim
e before I tried calling him.
Finally, I went downstairs, leaving Rogue on the bed still asleep. I poured myself a glass of my best whisky, got the last two chocolate chip cookies out of the package I’d bought the day before, grabbed a dog biscuit from the box in the pantry, and took it all back upstairs.
I sat cross-legged on the bed and poked the dog’s nose with the biscuit. “Hey, fur-face. Wake up.”
Rogue sat up and took the biscuit, eyeing me suspiciously. He was normally not allowed to eat anything on the bed and it took some encouragement to get him to start gnawing on his treat.
I ate the cookies and drank my whisky and watched Rogue eat. When he was done, he curled up with his back against Sean’s pillow and closed his eyes.
“Happy birthday to me,” I said to the dog. He was already snoring again.
I put my empty glass on the nightstand and pulled the covers up to my chin.
Hours later, something roused me from a sound sleep.
Groggy, I tried to figure out if I’d heard something. Rogue was asleep in the bed next to me, though, and if it had been a noise in the house he would have woken up.
I was just about to turn over and go back to sleep when I sensed Malcolm cross the house wards as he jumped into one of the crystals in the basement.
Less than a second later, he appeared next to my bed. “Alice!” he shouted frantically. “Alice, Alice, wake up! Everything’s on fire!”
I was out of bed in a flash, wide awake, my heart thundering in my ears. “The house is on fire?”
“No, the city is on fire!” He pointed at my bedroom windows.
I ran to the curtains and flung them open. In the distance, I saw an orange glow in the direction of downtown. It sure as hell wasn’t sunrise at four in the morning. “Oh my God,” I breathed. “What happened?”
