by KD Robichaux
“Yes, uh… right away.” And like a scared puppy, he scurries away and leaves me with the beast.
“Do not act like a childish fool. I won’t tolerate it.”
“I’m not acting. I didn't want what you ordered. You don’t have to be such a high-handed caveman all the time, Xander.”
“It’s what you always order at steakhouses. Don’t play this game. Call another man any kind of name like ‘sir’ again and I will spank you right in front of everyone here.”
I scoff. “You wouldn't dare.”
“Try me. Better yet, fucking test me, little bird.”
I turn my head and curse the tears that well, doing my best to not let them surface all the way to the edge. Maybe I am in over my head. This is something I have never done before—done things to purposefully hurt or fight with my love. I’d once done something stupid to gain his attention, but I had never intentionally wounded him. This isn't like other times he hurt me. When he left to go back to Jacqueline, he did it for reasons that didn't purposely destroy me. But now I know how we met and fell in love was all a game, and I just can’t get past it.
We don’t speak anymore. And each time the waiter comes back to us, he lets his eyes linger on me a little longer than what he should, and Xander takes notice. I opened a door I shouldn't have, and now this poor young man has no idea what kind of lion he has prowling and circling around him.
“You like that?” he asks as we start to eat.
“What?” I prompt after I swallow a bite of my savory salmon.
“You teased him. You made him desire you, and now I am seconds away from laying my fist into him repeatedly.” He doesn't look at me as he says this, and he says it so nonchalantly it’s frightening. Xander has always been jealous over me. Especially when men my age take notice or grab my attention.
I wait to respond, because I know I have to be careful with my choice of words. “As much as I would like to, I don’t. I don’t want attention from anyone.”
Xander once again goes quiet. This seems to be the soundtrack of the past forty-eight hours together. Cat and mouse.
As we finish up our meal, Xander’s attention is on his phone, checking emails and such. I wish I had my phone so I could distract myself. But instead, I play devil’s advocate and decide to attempt another round of talking through my recent revelation.
“Did you love her when you and I first met?”
Instantly, his phone becomes a lost item on the table. Without hesitation or asking for further explanation, he answers, “I never loved her. Ever.”
“So you really did all this for revenge on her for making you look bad?”
“My reputation is pristine, and my ego knows no bounds. You know that, Lizith,” he says matter-of-factly. “Call it one of my many character flaws.”
“I know. So I was just another way of proving how big your ego was. You knew you could conquer me, and you did.”
“That’s how it began, but as I said, that quickly became untrue. But I’ll take that jab.”
We remain quiet for a moment. “My mother was my best friend. The day I met you, I wanted to call her to tell her about you. It was all I wanted to do, but I couldn't, because she was gone.” He doesn't move, barely even releasing a breath as he gives me the floor. “She had this amazing laugh. It was almost breathtaking. I remember stopping everything I was doing whenever she was laughing just to listen to her, because I loved the sound of it. My father and I both were enamored by her grace and carefree ways.”
“She’s not the only woman who could make people fall at her feet, completely smitten.”
I don’t respond, but I feel his compliment down to my bones. It feels nice being compared to my mom.
“She was so selfless. She did charity work and found any way she could to help others who needed it. And she was classic, timeless, beautiful. I wanted to be her.”
“Why are you saying this, little one?”
“Because even though I am gut-wrenchingly hurt and upset with you, I am disgusted over the fact that just a year after I lost my mother, Jacqueline was the woman my dad fell for. A vile, ruthless woman took the place next to my father where my mother stood. She was still fresh in her grave, Xander. How could he do that to her?”
“Lust and manipulation.”
My brows draw in when he says this, our eyes connecting. “What?”
“I don’t want to upset you more, bird.”
“No, say it. I didn't just tell you all that for you to harbor more secrets.”
Xander takes a deep breath. “I never loved her. I lusted after her. When we met in college, she roped me in with lies and lust. I swear she used her body as a weapon and manifested a belief in me that she could be kind and lovable. But she was just a serpent in the bedroom, and once the preacher at our wedding closed his Bible, she changed.”
I cringe. Knowing that sex with her was good enough to blind him into marriage makes me nauseous.
“You would’ve had to have met my mother. If you had, you would understand. I don’t think Jacqueline at her best could touch my mother at her worst.”
“I believe you. I do, because I am in love with her protégé. There isn't anyone or anything that could talk me out of loving you, or push me away.”
That is no false confession. “I know.”
“I am sorry your father and I have hurt you.” His first real apology since he told me.
I dip my head and pick at the lace of my dress, uncaring if I snag the fabric. “Thank you.” I tuck my hair behind my ear, and in that moment, I realize this is the first time I have told him this much about my mother.
Her Lizith seems so out of reach, like another woman from a different world. I am no longer that innocent naïve girl she once knew, but now a woman possessed by love for a man she should have never met. But I am too far gone and too much in love with Xander to keep up this charade. I can’t go another day without forgiving him and loving him.
“Will that be all for you both this evening?” our waiter interrupts us, his eyes falling on me, smoldering and curious. He is undressing me with his eyes, and with my forgiveness just on the tip of my tongue, I do not like the way it feels. I feel as if I betrayed my love by welcoming attention to get him jealous. Now, I am filled with regret.
“That is all. Lizith, let’s go.” Xander leaves two one-hundred-dollar bills. Doubling the amount of our actual tab. He does it as a show of power, and it fills my stomach with the soft beginnings of desire. A slow, steady burn.
He stands and puts on his jacket as I slide gracefully from the booth and stand just to the side of him. Not wanting another second of attention from the server, I place my hand in Xander’s after we both finish putting on our coats, and I stand behind him, using him as my shield. The server stares me down as he begins to walk away, when Xander grabs him firmly by the elbow.
“A man should know better than to fawn over a woman already so obviously claimed. You never know the lengths some men are willing to go to when they find another gawking at their woman. Run along, little boy, and pray we never cross paths again.”
I watch as the color drains from the young man’s face, and it’s as if he tucks his tail between his legs as he breaks free from Xander and scurries away.
Xander doesn't even look back at me as he leads us out, poised and collected as if he didn’t just dole out a threat. I officially lose my sense and become putty in my keeper’s hands.
Chapter 15
Xander
I let the hot water run over my body after a night out with Lizith. I didn't speak to her at all on the way back. Instead, my hands twitched as I itched to go back and put a fist through that fucker’s face. He practically drooled and touched her with his eyes, imagining the things he would do to her.
He was Lizith’s age. Young, untainted by years of life behind him that would make him hard to love. He would touch her in a way I cannot—with youthful hands lacking the roughness of age. I’m so much older than Lizith, and she
has decades left of beauty, and one day, she may not want me anymore.
Before my little bird, I never questioned my looks and charm. Now, with a beautiful angel-like creature like Lizith, I fear time like a plague chasing after me. I can’t outrun it. Then, when she tempted him out of revenge, I was reminded that I am by far living a nightmare that gets closer with each passing day.
My muscles bunch under the water and soap cascading down my skin. The room is spinning, and I feel sudden anxiety that I can’t slow down.
“Xander?” Her voice revives me, bringing my head out from under the water. I keep my hands braced on the shower wall in front of me.
“Yes, my love?” I try to seem controlled. My blood may be rushing with insecurities, but I don't dare voice it to her.
“I was wondering if we could talk.”
I take a deep breath and watch her body outlined on the other side of the fogged glass. “I’m in the shower, little bird. Wait on the bed for me and I will be out in a moment.” I deflect and show dominance. Control the situation, and I can keep some sanity.
“Okay.” She leaves, and I spend a second or two reining back in my emotions and putting on my game face. I climb out and towel off, wrapping it tight around my waist, low on my hips. Stepping out, I am met with a surprise.
“Lizith?”
“Little bird. Call me by my name, my keeper.” She kneels in the middle of the bed, naked. On her knees, she perches with her hand extended out with a tumbler filled with scotch on the rocks.
“What are you doing, little bird?” I question, stepping closer. I’m shocked by the turn of events.
She has her head down, but when I whisper this question, she slowly brings her eyes up. “I forgive you, my keeper. I don’t ever want to go another day telling lies or spewing hate. I can’t do it, my love. I just can’t.” Her lip trembles and thousands of goose bumps break out over her skin as she starts to shiver and the ice clinks against the glass.
Just like that, I move. Taking the drink from her hand, I place it on the desk and replace her hand with mine.
“Stand up. You're my equal.” I pull her flush against me, her barely there bump touching my pelvis.
“Look at me.” I grip her chin in my hand. “Do not apologize for what I did. I shouldn't have hidden this secret. This is my fault.”
She nods, her beautiful eyes locked on mine. I can see deep into her soul. “I thought about it and realized how much your lie changed my life. If you didn't pick me that day, Xander, I wouldn't be with you, and our love wouldn't exist.” I watch her eye twitch—my stunning, neurotic woman. “Our miracle wouldn't exist. And we both did things wrong. I lied for years, planning to win you back and start a family I promised you. You were hurt, but you forgave me. I owe you.”
“You do not owe me anything. I thrive off knowing you did everything to win me back, just the way I like it.” I tighten my grip on her chin. “Crazed and possessive. You would do anything I ask, and I wouldn't have it any other way.”
Lizith trembles, knees buckling as I catch her before they go out completely. “I think your little wings just grew back.”
“Because we are mending each other.”
“No, it’s because we thrive on the damned and broken inside us. You can never do that again, Lizith. We can never turn on one another. We have no one but each other. This world is against us already, so we cannot be at odds.”
She blushes, nodding and letting those tears fall without reservation. “Kiss me, Xander. Make this all better.”
With apologies on our lips, I decide to change the mood. “Now that we are both on the same page, you do owe me.”
She shakes her head, confused. “What do you mean?” She reaches between us and releases the towel from my hips, leaving us both naked, and my cock goes full-mast.
“You flirted to upset me, and bad little birds get punished. You owe me a thousand apologies, starting now. On all fours, on the bed. Ass in the air and lips on my cock. I want you to choke on me until I flood your mouth with my seed, little bird.”
Her nipples could cut me as they pebble against my abs. “Xander, I didn't want him. I wasn't flirting. I promise.” She drags her nails up my abs and I growl.
“Your eyes sparkled when he reacted to your charm. You wanted to make me boil and it worked. I don’t take kindly to you fucking with me like that. You are mine.” I move my hands from her jaw to her neck, and I squeeze with just enough force that her breath catches. She is so fucking painstakingly beautiful it nearly squeezes the very life out of me. Her green eyes and pale skin are my undoing.
“Are you going to hurt me?” Her lashes bat up at me and those eyes penetrate me. Lizith looks afraid but excited, hopeful yet petrified.
“Do you want me to? Just ask, little thing, and I will give you what you and I both want.”
That snarky, smug smirk tugs at her lips, and I watch the fire dance across her hazy eyes. “Don’t let me come till you see fit. Fuck your sorries into me, and then when you think you have found my forgiveness, fuck me so hard I don’t remember anything but the feel of you.”
I growl, my cock now leaking heavy beads of need all over her stomach. How could she be so beautiful and forgiving and selfless after everything that transpired over the weekend? I don’t mistake it as submission. I identify it for what it is—control over me. This porcelain beauty was made for me. Lizith Morrison has me by the neck, heart, and fucking balls. I would take a life for her if she asked.
“On. The. Fucking. Bed. Don't think I won’t punish you even worse for letting foul words fall from your perfect mouth, little bird. Suck my dick; choke on it. Make me praise you. Got it?”
She nods, her neck moving along the inside of my hands.
When she turns, I can’t control myself. She’s one step away from me when I reach around and roughly grab her tit in my hand, the other hand grasping her ass and squeezing before I spank it. “Mine.” Fuck. “My fuck doll, my queen, my siren. You don’t understand what I will do for you. You have no damn idea.” I release Lizith, going to my knees on the end of the mattress, and she gets into the position I ordered.
She licks those full lips and opens to speak, but I shut her up with my cock. I shove it to the back of her throat and her eyes squeeze shut, water escaping the corners. She gags on me, and it’s like a symphony.
“Fuck. Do it, beautiful.” I lean and slap her ass again, and she starts bobbing her head the best she can from her position. Grabbing all her hair and knotting it in my fist, I move her back and forth, watching the violence of my princess sucking my cock.
Lizith is everything to me. My plaything, my heart, my goddamn lifeline. My most precious possession. I’m a thousand lifetimes of unworthiness for her. I do not deserve this classic beauty.
Her green eyes have darkened and she looks up at me under thick lashes. I bite my lip, my entire body flexed and tight. The veins in my arms are thick as I steer her head. The veins that line my hips between my V are pronounced, alive, and pumping with alpha blood.
“You are so damn beautiful. I love you like hell loves tortured souls,” I grit through my teeth, throwing my head back when she moans. It vibrates against my shaft as it’s deep in her throat. That’s when it hits me. What the fuck am I doing? My lady deserves the spoiling; she deserves her one thousand apologies in the way of intimate pleasure.
My nostrils flare, and every ounce of restraint I have is tested as I leave her mouth. She peers up, confused, somehow wiping away the spit around her lips with grace.
“Keeper? I wasn't done. Was I not doing it the way you wanted?” Lizith sits back, her ass meeting her heels. Embarrassment floods her body and her cheeks and neck go red.
“No, you were doing it perfectly. Too good for what I deserve. You deserve the pleasure. On your back, pretty thing.” I turn on the cool and collected part of me.
“But—”
I hush her and gently touch her cheek. “No, on your back. I want to feast. I want to spoil. I want to
ravage you.” I hear and see her gulp.
“Xander,” she practically pleas, asking for something we both don't know or understand. There is a deep ache and a palpable need to mate and be so damn connected that we could crawl inside one another, become the same soul, the same body, the same heartbeat.
“I know, little bird. I’m trying to scratch that itch. Let me inside you, and I promise I can mend everything I broke.”
“Promise?”
“What did I say?”
She smiles, and this one reaches her eyes. And with that, she relinquishes her trust and lets me take everything from her. I lay her back slowly, her body surrendering to the silk sheets. I spread her legs and kneel between them. Her pointed knees graze against my ribcage as she smiles innocently up at me, the tip of her finger between her teeth.
I tilt my head, and my lip catches between my teeth, mimicking her action. I take in her body, looking down the slim column of her neck to the sleek, smooth skin over her collarbone. Her pink nipples are hard and rosy, beckoning me. I lean a little and grab a hold of her breast, pinching the nipple between my long, thick fingers. My other hand finds my cock somewhere in my venture, and I squeeze tight, trying to imitate the tightness of her smooth slit, but it’s not enough.
If it isn't her, it’s not enough.
“Suck these fingers, baby.” My hand leaves her nipple, my other still going strong on my cock. Placing three stiff fingers to her lips, Lizith sucks them in and wets them. My jaw unhinges as she moans around them, her eyes eating up my working hand on my shaft.
“Deadly.”
She giggles. “Then fuck me like it, my keeper.”
With that, I take my three wet fingers and slam them into her. She screams, her back leaving the bed and her arms seizing as her hands grip the sheets. “Xander!” I start out rough, showing her how fucking much she needs a man like me. Not a man her own age. Lizith would never be worshipped or pleased in the way only I can. It isn't possible.
“Yeah, you're ready. Give me your orgasm, and then I will give you real pain. Real euphoria.” I curl my finger upward and hit her spot. She detonates around my fingers, her eyes never closing, staying focused on mine. For a split second, I swear her soul leaves her body and slams into me.
