by Tiana Laveen
“So, uh, let’s just say he and my girl never had a good relationship. She wasn’t his biological child and he always treated her that way, too. Her brother was her half-brother… his kid. Treated him totally different. Anyway, she—”
“What was her name?”
His heart seized with pain. He fucking hated saying it.
“Her name was Brandy… So anyway, over those next few months, Brandy kinda fell in with the wrong crowd. I had started college and wasn’t around as much but I’d still see her fairly often. I noticed she was acting different. She tried to tell me she smoked pot sometimes, but nothin’ major was going on. I didn’t think much of it, figured she was just experimenting a little bit. Besides, I was no stranger to a joint or two. As long as she wasn’t cheatin’ on me, I tried to just ignore the warning bells. But, uh, then it progressed, ya know? She started doin’ harder drugs and lyin’ to me about it. She’d ask me for money and at first I believed her when she said it was for college applications, things like that. It wasn’t. It was for pills ’nd shit.
“I came by her house unannounced one night and saw all these fucking empty pill bottles that I knew weren’t hers. I thought she must’ve stolen them. Who knew? She and I started arguing about it. After a few minutes, her eyes rolled back and she passed out. I called 911; they came and revived her, but she’d overdosed. That was the reason for her passin’ out. I gave her an ultimatum—straighten up or I was gone. That was it. She promised me she’d go to rehab, ya know? I loved her so much, Vanessa.”
His chest heaved as he fought another round of tears. “I was young back then, believing her when she told me things would be better… but they never got better, Nessa. They never did.
“I was enablin’ her at first. I stayed with her even after threatening to leave. I kept remembering the old her, ya know? How she was before the drugs. She’d do anything for me. She was sweet and nice, sassy and beautiful. I was givin’ her money; I even bought her pills a couple of times, just stupid shit ’cause I loved her and wanted her to be happy. At that time, I really didn’t understand drug addiction the way I do now. I knew about smokin’ a little weed and drinking, but none about the pills, heroin, and shit like that. She was okay for a little while I guess, surviving, but then, her stepfather kicked her out.
“Her stepfather and I then got into it because I told ’im that was the worst thing he could do. She was vulnerable and would do things to support ’er habit at that point. These fuckin’ perverts would love to get ahold of her, ya know? She was pretty and young, and she hadn’t been out into the world. Give ’er ten dollars for a fuckin’ blow job… she’d sell her soul for ten fuckin’ measly dollars. She’d do almost anything just to support ’er habit! I couldn’t let that happen, but I was exhausted, Nessa. Between school, Nonna being sick at that time, and my girlfriend’s shit, I had had it, ya know?”
Vanessa didn’t answer, but he knew she was still there, listening to every word he was saying. Judging him. Maybe not believing any of it. But he kept going.
“So, her stepdad eventually let ’er move back home. I thought it was strange, ya know? Because he’d been so adamant with me that she couldn’t come back. He didn’t like ’er anyway. I let it go though, just glad she was in the house and not jumpin’ from house to house around town. See, ’cause right before that, the shit had hit the fan. In that timeframe, she stole from me… from my parents… my friends… all to support ’er habit. My ma and pop had let ’er live with them when she’d been kicked out the first time and she stole my ma’s favorite necklace and some cash my dad had put up for emergencies. They were done wit’ her at that point. They begged me to get rid of her, told me I had my whole life ahead of me but… I still loved her. Finally, she went into a treatment program.
“We were all happy about that… even my parents gave her a second chance once they saw her tryna straighten up. She stayed in the program then when it was over, in outpatient treatment. She went to all of her classes while at home with her stepdad, too. Didn’t miss even one. I was proud of ’er. She started looking good again and felt optimistic about the whole thing. What mattered was, she wasn’t hangin’ with that crowd anymore.
“Well, then, a month or two later, she relapsed. She called me cryin’ and told me everything, which surprised me. Then, her stepfather snatched the phone from ’er and the phone went dead. I came over and told ’er I wanted to take ’er to the hospital, that she was sick and needed help. Her heart was beatin’ a mile a minute, eyes dilated. She was pukin’, too. In tears, she told me she was scared. I was cryin’ too. It was a fuckin’ mess.” He took a deep breath.
“Well, her stepfather jumped up once he saw what was going on. He was asleep I guess when I got over there and she’d let me in. He started fuckin’ fighting with me, tryna stop me from takin’ her to the hospital, Nessa. Back then, I didn’t have a cellphone so I couldn’t call 911 ’cause he had the only phone in the house locked up in his fuckin’ bedroom. He was telling me all this shit about how she needed to suffer the consequences and just hurt a while, and that she’d be okay, and all this crazy bullshit! Meanwhile, Brandy fell to the floor, holdin’ her gut. I push him out the fuckin’ way, scooped her up in my arms, and got her to the hospital. She ended up having to stay there for a while; they wanted to keep her. So, she told me she needed some clothes from ’er house.
“I went back. I knocked on the door. Her stepfather opened it and I let him know I didn’t want any trouble. I just wanted to grab a couple pairs of jeans, underwear, shirts, shit like that. Just gimme five minutes, I told him, and I’ll be in and out. So he let me in, right? But on my way to ’er room, I saw some papers lyin’ on the table with her name on them… like official papers. I didn’t say shit, but I did notice that. So, I went back there, grabbed one of her big bags, and started stuffin’ it with some of ’er clothes. I heard him get up and go to the bathroom. Dropping the bag, I went to snatch those papers up off that fuckin’ table…”
He swallowed hard, shut his eyes so tight, they burned.
“It was a fuckin’ life insurance policy on my Brandy! He got this big ass life insurance policy on ’er—he’d had it for years, but he’d tripled that shit once she got hooked on those pills. I couldn’t fuckin’ believe it! He wanted ’er to die that night she called me so he could get the money, Nessa! It all made sense.
“I was standing there with the papers, right? When he came out, I confronted him. This mothafucka started throwin’ shit at me! Screamin’ and hollerin’ about what a whore Brandy was, that she was cheatin’ on me the whole time, even before the drugs and all this other shit, and how he didn’t give a fuck about her anymore and he was tired of ’er shit! I… I couldn’t believe it, Nessa. I couldn’t believe somebody could be that fuckin’ evil. So, he told me to get tha fuck outta his house. I refused, not until I went back to her room and got that bag. I also told him that she wasn’t movin’ back there, that I’d figure out something, but he could kiss my fuckin’ ass and that insurance money goodbye. I let him know that I would be contacting the police to let ’em know what happened, that he was gonna let her die. Just in case she really did kick the bucket, they’d know who to blame.
“He told me the police were sick of Brandy, too, and they didn’t give a shit. So, he tried to stop me from going back and grabbin’ that bag I was stuffin’ with her clothes and we started fighting. I mean, blow for blow tussling. He punched me so hard it practically knocked the snot outta me and then… I don’t know what happened… it’s like everything he’d confessed to, how she’d almost died, everything, the stress I was under with Nonna … and this man lookin’ at me… this evil son of a bitch staring at me, not givin’ a shit about the woman that I loved… the woman I thought I was gonna marry after I graduated college… I snapped.
“He was slamming me around, and I… I jumped on him, Nessa… I jumped on him and I never got up! I was just swingin’! I was punching and kickin’! I picked up shit and busted his fuckin’ head
wide open. I kept on and on! He was screamin’ and I didn’t give uh shit. I didn’t stop, even after he had stopped screaming… stopped moving. I don’t know how long I was there, Nessa, but time stood still. I only stopped when I couldn’t move no more… when I couldn’t move not one damn muscle. And then, I looked down at him…”
“Blood ’nd shit was everywhere… I won’t, uh, go into the details, but he was unrecognizable once I was finished. My mind was somewhere else. I was out of it, in a daze. I figured he was just unconscious but was still alive. Getting to my feet, I grabbed her bag, blood all over my fuckin’ clothes, stumbled outta the house and drove to the hospital. I was so fuckin’ out of it that when nurses and shit were stopping me, asking me what had happened, I didn’t know what they were talking about. I was just trying to get to Brandy, to give ’er her clothes…
“Two hours later, I was in handcuffs. And her stepfather, Jack Finch, was dead…”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Revenge and Karma Walked into a Bar…
The voices of Jennifer Lopez and Ja Rule in “I’m Real” filled the space, the sound complementing the sweet, smoky incense wafting about the place and the burning ocean breeze scented candles. Barefoot with two braids flowing down her back, Vanessa stood at the kitchen sink washing her favorite wine glasses as that man, that damn son of a bitch she could not release even if she wanted to, sat at her little kitchen table bobbing his head to the beat of the song.
After he’d disclosed his tragic story, one in which there’d been no winners or happily ever after, she’d decided to let him inside. He still looked miserable, sad as fuck. All of his old, worn but haunting memories were back at the forefront, but what could she do? She had to know the truth.
She cried more than he did as they sat at that table, holding hands, drinking wine, then crying some more. After rinsing the glasses and setting them on the rack, she returned to him, this time with a vape pen, blowing smoke out the side of her mouth. She crossed her legs, cocked her head to the side, and waited…
Gio wasn’t finished relaying the story. She wasn’t certain she wanted to hear anymore, but now, the lid was off the box. There was no turning back.
“I had never been in trouble with the law before, so, with my parents and everyone pleading, the judge went easy on me. I had decent grades in high school, was doing exceptionally well in college, and even one of my professors vouched for me, explained it seemed out of character. My life from that point on was a fuckin’ nightmare. I couldn’t believe all that had happened, that I’d killed somebody… but I did.”
He hung his head for a brief spell. “So, I was given one year, fines, and probation once I got out. It was a manslaughter charge—still a felony, but, ya know.” He shrugged. “Nonna was all broken up about it when the judge even said one year. She was crying so bad, she had to be led out the courtroom. Ma said one time when Nonna was tipsy after a party, and I was just a little kid, Nonna told ’er that I was her favorite grandchild. Maybe that explains it. I don’t know, but she took it real hard.”
He tapped his fingers against the table. “So, when I’d been in Queensboro Correctional Facility for about ten months, I got let out. I hadn’t caused any problems in there. I kept away from other inmates tryna get me involved in shit… no gambling, none of that shit. Once people found out how bad I beat him up, details came out basically, even though I was very young, some guys didn’t even bother with me. They left me alone. So, I never had to be a part of any of those horror stories ya hear about guys being fucked in tha ass, turned out and prostituted, owing money ’nd shit. I just worked out, ya know?”
She nodded as he spoke his truth.
“I lifted weights and kept my nose clean. As soon as I got out, I was on probation. I re-enrolled in college and thanks to my old professors, I had no problems with that. I was able to pick up where I left off. I had a good lawyer; my parents used a lot of their money to pay for it all, and they didn’t have much but I promised to pay ’em back when I could, with interest. So anyway, after my probation ended, I got the record expunged and just… just tried to put it behind me.”
He sniffed, his face reddened. She could see it took a lot from him to come clean. Who would want to deal with those sorts of ugly memories over and over again? Placing the vape down, she covered his hand with her own.
Nonna’s ring, still on her finger, shined a bit brighter at that moment.
“Thank you for telling me the truth, Gio. It’s hard, ya know? I understand that. But you should’ve trusted me enough to tell me the truth. I would have found out sooner or later, with or without Vincent doing what he did! I’m going to be your wife, for God’s sake!”
The man looked as sorry as he could be. After taking a deep breath, she told him exactly what she thought. “It’s scary for me to think about you having that sort of anger, mad enough to snuff somebody out, but it was an accident, baby. Have you forgiven yourself?”
He hesitated for a second, then nodded.
“Yeah, I have… but it’s still, ya know… a touchy subject for me.”
“And I get that. Your intention wasn’t to kill that guy; you just wanted to help your girlfriend. In that context, I definitely understand it and… I can’t blame you. You loved her, and he was the opposite of love… He was the enemy.”
A tear streamed down her cheek. She smiled at him, and he finally smiled back. Intertwining their fingers, he squeezed her hand and laid his head along his outstretched arm.
“I love you so much, Chinky… You have no idea how much.”
Another tear rolled out his eye, this time sideways as he lay there like a flower that had consumed too much rain.
“I know you do… I love you too, baby.” She inhaled and exhaled hard. In the background, Gwen Stefani sang her heart out in “Luxurious.”
“I haven’t been in love since Brandy.” Her heart hurt for him. “I couldn’t… I didn’t want the aggravation. It was easy for me to separate love and sex. I didn’t want a relationship ever again. I ended up in prison due to bein’ in love… that was enough for me. Love was the same as pain to me. It hurt worse than a torn ligament, it hurt worse than breaking your fuckin’ wrist lifting weights. I’ve done all of that… but lovin’ a woman hurt the worst of all! Why would I want that shit again?” He shook his head. “And then, you came along…”
“Do you still talk to Brandy?”
Suddenly his face contorted and agony seized his expression. He sat up and covered his eyes with the palms of his hands as he cried harder than ever.
Oh shit… what the hell happened?
“Nah…” He shook his head and slid his palms away from his eyes. “Ya can’t talk to somebody who’s dead. While I was in prison, she visited me a couple of times. The first time, she looked great. I told her I’d be out soon, to just sit tight. The second time I saw her, I knew… I knew she was on that shit again. We got into an argument about it. She left… and a few weeks later she overdosed and died.”
OH. MY. GOD.
Vanessa’s head began to throb as she stared at her beautiful boyfriend, the apple of her eye. He was bursting with so much agony he’d bottled in for far too long. It was a wonder the man was so silly and outrageous most days…
Gemini twins… When you see one side of them, you best believe the other side is hard at work, too, sometimes protecting itself from within…
“Gio, Jesus! You’ve been through Hell!”
“And this is why I didn’t want to ever be in love again, baby!” He raked a hand through his hair and sighed in exasperation, his eyes moist and brimming with unending tears. “I felt responsible for everything! If I had just been there for her, and not in prison, she’d still be alive. If I had left college and got an apartment for her to stay in, this wouldn’t have happened! If I hadn’t gone to college in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened! If I woulda loved her harder and stronger, this wouldn’t have happened! If I woulda! On and on it went! I know now I couldn’t have saved
Brandy. I know now that those were all her decisions, but she trusted me to take care of her, ya know? She’d had a rough life but was so giving and full of love. I appreciated that about ’er and loved her more for it. But sometimes… sometimes love just isn’t enough.”
She got up from her seat and sat in his lap. It felt so good and so right to feel his arms around her, holding her close. Kissing the top of his head, she stayed just like that, letting him fall apart against her. After a while, she leaned back and lifted his chin to look deep into his gorgeous green eyes.
“Gio, love is always enough…”
…Two months later
Gio’s jaw tightened as Snoop Dogg’s, “Let’s Get Blown” featuring Pharell played in his car. It took everything in him not to jump out his car, walk up to Vincent and blast his fuckin’ skull wide open…
The thing Vanessa failed to understand was that his first time had broken him in, making him immune to the shit. It changed him. Once you take a man’s life, you’re never the same. Worst of all, the second time around feels so much easier, intentional or not…
He caught his reflection in his rearview mirror and almost didn’t recognize himself. Nostrils flared, ready for battle. When he looked back at the sidewalk, he seethed at the sight. There Vince stood on the corner in front of the big office building, laughing and talking on his cellphone. It would be so easy to slip out of the car, aim the gun to the back of the fucker’s head, and blow his brains out.
Giovanni swallowed hard. He let his gaze fall on the gun under the muscle magazine on the passenger’s seat and could almost taste the revenge he was destined to receive.
This motherfucker has it coming. He almost cost me my girl! I take a chance and finally decide to try again, to have somethin’ real with a woman, no more cum and run sessions, and he almost ruined everything!
