by Ivy Blake
“Carina what the hell is wrong?” I shrugged my shoulders as she brushed passed me, coated in a scent of cucumber melon lotion.
“I should’ve known you were buried in the middle of school papers. You know, for somebody who does so much work, you sure do stay behind a lot.”
I closed the door and planted myself back in the middle of the living room floor, folding my legs like a pretzel. “Well, I’m not behind with these. Technically, I wasn’t supposed to have these graded until next week, but I guess I can stay ahead of the game now.”
She sat down on the couch. “Now? What happened? Things go south between you and Harrison?”
I massaged my temples with my fingers. I hated thinking about him and what happened between us. I felt like he played me for a fool and I just wanted to shove these past few weeks out of my mind, but no matter how hard I tried to bury it, the sickening feeling always floated back to the top of my mind like a helium balloon.
“Carina?”
I exhaled disappointment into the air. I looked at Freya’s face full on concern. She was my oldest friend and I knew she would be the only one that would understand.
“He was a fucking cop. An undercover cop.”
“Seriously?” Freya asked.
I slowly nodded. “He was sent to get details on my family so he could put them away for all the illegal stuff they are involved in. I was just his way to get closer to the family. He played me, Freya. He fucking played me like a goddamned flute.”
Her mouth went slack. Her eyes widened as if she was trying to see the whole world at once.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I tucked my knees against my chest and locked my arms around them to keep them in place. “He’s an undercover cop and he was sent to take them down. I would have been the reason my family went to jail.”
“Wow. I can’t believe it. Did you tell your parents?”
“What? Are you crazy? I didn’t tell them anything.”
“Don’t you think you should?”
“Why? Just so they can get pissed at me and worry about something else? I already told them that I don’t want anything to do with their business and then you want me to say, ‘oh, and by the way, I was dating this guy who happens to be an undercover cop and he was using me to get information about you guys so you all could go to prison. Sorry.’”
She chuckled. “Yeah, that might not have gone so well.”
“You think? Anyway, after he told me that he was an undercover cop, I refused to speak to him again. And I didn’t talk to you all because I didn’t want to feel like a more like an idiot. I mean, I feel that way regardless, but I just think that I would be even worse once you all found out. I can’t believe how stupid I was”
Tears started to form in my eyes and Freya immediately moved next to me on the floor. She sat next to me and put her arm around my shoulder.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Carina. You had no idea.”
“Yeah. I bet my dad would’ve sniffed him out the moment I brought him around. I couldn’t believe it though.”
“Wait a minute.” Her eyebrows pursed together. “You said he told you that he was an undercover cop?”
“Yeah. He told me a couple weeks ago. At the time, he said he had only been on the case for about a week, so I know he didn’t get much information from me. He asked about my family, but I didn’t tell him anything. I kept it vague, like I always do when people ask about my parents. I should’ve known right then and there that something was wrong.”
“Wait.” She looked to the right, staring at the wall as if it had eyes to stare back. “But, why would he tell you? Why would he tell you that he was an undercover cop if he was really trying to get some information on your family? Did he explain why he told you?”
“He said he couldn’t do it anymore.”
I shook my head and grabbed the red marker that I used to mark incorrect answers on the homework papers. With a hint of aggression, I crossed out wrong answers and marked down papers that had the slightest errors. Freya put her hand on top of mine to slow my pace.
“That means something, Carina. He has to feel some kind of way about you if he told you that he was a cop and he barely started on the case. Those aren’t the actions of a man who was set out to destroy you and your family. If you ask me, I think he really has feelings for you, and he probably risked his job by telling you who he really was.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Whatever, Freya. It doesn’t really matter why he told me, the point is that he was using me.”
“But did he know you were connected to the family all along, or did he find out after you all met?”
I tapped the red marker on the papers in front of me, recollecting everything we argued about the day he told me that he was an undercover cop. I distinctly remembered him saying that he didn’t find out that I was connected to the family until after the fact and the more I thought about it, the more everything started to make sense.
“He said after.”
“After. That makes sense, Carina. Trust me, I am not taking his side, but the man didn’t know. At least, that is my guess. He didn’t know and as soon as he realized it, he told you. Listen, if he didn’t care, I think he would’ve kept going with the case and even right now, you wouldn’t know what was going on. He would’ve kept that quiet and in the meantime, he would’ve been steadily building his case against your family.”
She made more sense. I hated the fact that he had even put me in this position, but as Freya continued speaking, I started to understand what that he was attempting to be genuine with me. I didn’t want to believe her, but that truth was more evident now than it had been before she showed up.
“I do miss him.”
“I know you do. There hasn’t been another man to make you smile like that in years. But, I know this is a tricky situation for you. If you keep talking to him, knowing he is a police officer, that won’t sit right with your family. But, who knows what you will be passing up on if you just let him walk away.” I leaned my head back onto the couch and covered my face with the palms of my hand.
“What am I going to do, Freya? This is just too much for me right now. Damn it. Why does everything have to be so complicated?”
“You mean, why did he have to have a job as a police officer?” She laughed. “I don’t know, but maybe you should call him and ask him that. Or just talk to him. When was the last time you did that?”
“Two weeks ago.”
“Yeah... Talk to him and give him a chance to explain himself, you know, without you throwing a fit.”
She made me laugh when I didn’t want to. We had been friends for so long and throughout that time, she was always there for me, whether good or bad. If I needed a kick in the pants or if I just needed someone to talk to, she was in my corner. I exhaled, then put my arms around her.
“Thank you, Freya. Thank you for helping me see what the reality was behind all this.”
“Yeah, yeah. I should start charging you a fee for this good ass advice. Lord knows where you would be in life without it.”
She hung around for a couple more hours, drinking and talking with me until she got a phone call from one of her friends.
“Well, Anthony finally called me like he said he would an hour ago, so I am going to go meet up with him. You can’t be the only one around here getting some,” she said, winking at me.
“Well, for the past few weeks, I haven’t gotten any, either.”
I walked her to the door. Before she left, she embraced me again and with that, she left to her car and drove away. I slowly closed the door behind me as Harrison’s image floated into my mind. I had been such an ass to him for the past few weeks and I wondered if he had already moved on from me or if there was still a chance that we could work through this craziness.
I had always told my family that I wanted nothing to do with what they did. But was being with Harrison too risky? I sat on the couch with my phone in my hand. My thumb hoover
ed over his name as I debated whether I should give him a call. Finally, I built up enough courage to dial his number.
It rang a few times and then it went straight to voicemail.
“Hey, Harrison. I know people don’t really leave voicemails anymore, but, I wanted you to hear my voice when I said this. I want to talk to you, face to face. I promise I won’t freak out on you this time, but, I just want to give us a chance to talk and clear the air. We are in an interesting situation, but I hope you can look past that and at least meet with me. So, when you get this message, please give me a call back.”
I hung up the phone and placed it on the table, then sat down on the floor in the midst of school papers. The silence was deafening as I waited for the call back and before long, I decided to pick up my red marker and continue where I left off.
He probably wasn’t going to call. I completely messed this up. Maybe I would just end up being single for the rest of my life. It took me over a year to find somebody I could connect with and once I finally did, I allowed my temper to get the best of me. I could barely grade another paper before I put the pen down and curled into a ball on the floor. A few silent tears rolled out of my eyes and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.
Chapter 17
Harrison
We barely walked through her door when she pinned me against the wall; her breasts were pushed right against my chest. She lifted herself onto her tiptoes and kissed me on the lips as she unbuttoned her shirt, exposing the bra that could barely contain her breasts. I reached down to unbuckle my belt, letting my pants fall to the ground as my cock poked her in her stomach.
She looked down, seductively smiling as she slid it out of my boxers. I pushed her head down as she got on her knees, sucking me hard while she stroked it with her hand. I guided her back and forth with my hand as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. She sucked me hard until I felt as though I was teetering close to the edge. I pulled my body away from hers and looked down at her.
“I need to be inside you,” I said.
She stood up, still gripping my cock, and led me over to the couch, “I missed you, Harrison,” she said as she bent over. I went deep inside of her, slowly on the first-time in. She moaned as she reached behind, spreading her cheeks apart further. I gripped a handful of her hair and went in harder, smacking her ass with each thrust. Her cheeks jiggled as she moaned louder and louder the deeper I went. I pushed her head down into the pillow as she arched her back further into me. She gripped the pillow as I thrust harder inside of her.
“Don’t stop, don’t stop!” she yelled as I kept going.
I flipped her over as she wrapped her legs around my waist as sweat dripped from my forehead. Her breasts bounced up and down relentlessly as I slid my hand around her throat. I bit my bottom lip as she opened her mouth, screaming silence into the air. She was going to receive every ounce of aggression that I had pinned inside of me. She held onto my forearms as I slammed my cock in and out of her.
“I’m about to come,” I said as I felt my climax approaching.
I yelled out as I came into her. I kept pumping as her tight walls gripped the edges of my cock. When I finished, she relaxed her legs from around my waist, breathing heavily on top of the couch
I woke up with my cock in my hand and come all over my torso and bedsheets. Fuck. I leaned my head backwards onto the pillow once I realized it was all just a dream. It had been weeks since I saw Carina and I missed every inch of her. I couldn’t believe that I had come to a point in my life where I contemplated leaving the force just to start a life with her. I never imagined a time like this, especially since I never imagined myself settling down anytime soon. Carina was different though and it didn’t take me long to figure that out.
I threw my covers off and carried myself into the bathroom. It was almost 7 am when I came back to the bedroom. I snatched the covers off the bed and replaced them so I could lay back down. On my nightstand, my phone buzzed from a voicemail that I didn’t know I received. When I saw that the missed call was from Carina, I rubbed my eyes to make sure that I wasn’t imagining her name flashing across my screen. I pressed the voicemail button and listened to her voice.
It was something I was waiting to hear for a while now and before that phone call, I was sure that I would never speak to her or hear from her again. I looked down at my watch and saw that it was too early to call her back, so I decided to wait until later that morning. I laid back down and attempted to fall back asleep but images of Carina fluttered through my mind. I sat up with a long sigh and grabbed my phone to go through my emails to see what O’Malley wanted from me. We were due for another meeting and I knew he would be pissed once he found out that I hadn’t made much progress through Carina, but the fact that I saw Mason with Nico was enough to keep him at bay. I followed that trail for the past week, but I didn’t find anything that was worth mentioning. Nothing that was concrete evidence anyway.
If Mason was one of the crooked cops, then he did a hell of a job hiding it because I never would’ve suspected a thing from him. He had acted a little strange when he realized I was on the Dellucci case, but Mason was always a little bit strange. I scrolled down my phone and landed on the email O’Malley sent, ordering me to meet with him at our spot later that afternoon. Fuck. I was so fucked when it comes to that meeting. I tossed the phone onto the nightstand and tried to close my eyes again, but it was no use.
When my clock finally read 8 AM I grabbed my phone and called Carina. Her voice was groggy when she picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Carina. I just got your voicemail.”
“Oh, right. What time is it?”
“Just past 8 am, aren’t you supposed to be getting up for school?”
She stifled a yawn. “Yeah, I’m getting up now. I have to be there by 8:30. Are you busy later? I wanted to talk to you about stuff.”
“No, I’ll make time for you this evening. Maybe we can step out somewhere and talk.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Alright. Well, I’ll call you later on then, ok?”
“Sounds good.”
“Alright.”
I hung up the phone. I was excited to see her again, but O’Malley’s warning started to become the annoying voice inside my head. Could she be setting me up like he thought? Did she tell her family about me? If she did, then would they be there ready to take me out? I’d been in dangerous situations before and I always made it out alive, so I wasn’t really worried about that happening. I just had to make sure I was prepared in case I did end up in that situation.
I got dressed and made my way to meet with O’Malley outside of the abandoned building. When I got there, he puffed on a cigar the same way he always did. I stifled a laugh because with the cigar and the damn fedora he was wearing, he looked like a private detective from one of those old movies. He stood just to the side of his vehicle with his eyes locked on my every movement. He spoke through a cloud of smoke as I approached him.
“Tell me something good, Harrison.”
“I wish I could.”
“Don’t bullshit me. You’ve been on this case for nearly a month, so spit it out.” I took a deep breath and folded my arms over my chest. The only progress I’d made was seeing Mason meet with Nico. And I wasn’t about to bring that to O’Malley’s attention just yet. I wanted to be sure before I threw one of my friends under the bus. I didn’t say another word and after that, he knew I wasn’t bullshitting.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Harrison?! What in the holy fuck is wrong with you!? One fucking month on this case and you don’t have shit for me? Huh? What the fuck are you doing? Wasting my time and money while you twiddle your fucking dick in the process?”
“No, Captain. I am just having a hard time going–”
“That Carina, huh? She’s got you wrapped around her little fucking finger, doesn’t she? God, damn it,” he said, laughing. Not in a way that signaled joy, but in a way, that showed how patheti
c I was in his eyes.
“If I would’ve known that you couldn’t handle this shit, I would’ve never put you on the case. You are a fucking embarrassment right now, Harrison. A complete and total embarrassment. What do you have to say for yourself?”
A brisk wind blew against our bodies and carried the cigar smoke off into the distance. I squinted my eyes at the freeway as a herd of cars sped past us. After a moment of silence, he finally spoke again.
“You know what, Harrison? I’ve had enough of this bullshit. You are off the case.”
“What?” I felt my heart rate start to pick up. I had never been taken off a case.
“You heard me. You are off the fucking case. I am tired of you pussyfooting so now, you can go and do whatever you need to with that Carina girl. You can help her family for all I care because right now, I am suspending you from the force.”
I clenched my fist as I felt anger course through my veins.
“For what?”
“Non-compliance. Insubordination. Fucking treachery. You pick. Give me your badge and your fucking gun, Harrison.” I glared at him as he loomed just ahead of me. After all I had fucking done for him. I’ve had several successful undercover operations under his watch, and now because this one was taking a little bit longer than expected, he had to fucking fly off the handle. He took another puff of his cigar as the ashes glowed on the butt.
“Your fucking badge,” he said with the cigar dangling from his lips, “and your gun. I will not ask you again.”
I reached into my waistband and pulled my gun out. “Slowly,” he said as I removed it from the holster. I put the gun on the hood of his vehicle, then tossed my badge right beside it. He took the cigar out of his mouth.
“Good. Now, you have some time to clear your fucking mind. Hopefully, a few weeks will help you remember what fucking side you are on. Until then, I don’t even want to see your face at the precinct. If I do, I will have you arrested for interfering with police business.”
