‘You mean THE Richard Dale? As in TV’s most celebrated chef to the stars?’
‘The same one. A signed contract will be in our hands by the middle of next week. He’s a man who likes everything done yesterday, Ellie, so we need to start pulling things together very quickly. You’d better put your friend Max on high alert. Richard will want unique pieces and it’s a very big house. We are probably talking air freight for this one.’
I flinch. ‘Your friend Max’, she said. What if Livvie calls round to the house and says something like that in front of Josh?
‘He’s only a business contact, Livvie. He also happens to be a very nice man, a gentleman. We aren’t friends, merely business acquaintances.’
Livvie looks surprised. ‘Oh, sorry. Slip of the tongue. Anyway, isn’t Bella your main contact now?’
I almost blurt out that she’s on holiday and is flying to the UK next week, but as the first word is about to leave my mouth I manage to cut myself short and cover it with a fake cough.
‘Sorry about that. Yes, Bella is the new contact since she was promoted.’
Livvie doesn’t seem to have noticed my moment of hesitation, but it’s a wake-up call. Now, though, I feel awkward not having at least mentioned Max and what he’s been going through. How on earth I’m going to casually begin talking about it to Josh, I have absolutely no idea. The only person whose advice I can seek is Aunt Clare’s. If I sit down and explain the whole thing to her, then maybe she will be able to think of the right way to tackle it. Max’s face flashes through my mind and pieces of last night’s dream start to come back to me.
We were sitting on the terrace and it makes me smile as that’s exactly what Max said last night. ‘If you have to dream of Italy, then let it be about the view from the terrace. That earthy smell as the cool evening air brings with it the scent of the forests high above Castrovillari.’
In my dream I was sitting at the little bistro table by the fountain and suddenly I noticed him in the reception doorway, watching me. Just like in the photograph. He smiled when I looked across at him and began walking towards me. Then Trista appeared and called his name. Max stood still, turning his head to look back at her and suddenly I was afraid. The darkness around me became oppressive and I wanted to go home. I tried to move, but I couldn’t and Max turned back to look at me, extending his hand to reach out.
‘Don’t go, Ellie, please don’t go.’ There was panic in his voice and a wild look in his eyes.
‘Ellie, are you okay?’
Livvie is staring intently at me and I realise she’s been talking to me throughout my little daydream.
‘Oh, I, um … just remembered an order I need to amend. You were saying?’
‘I said, let me know if your desk starts piling up. Things are about to get really busy and if we need to draft in more help, then I’d rather do that sooner rather than at the last minute.’
Livvie hasn’t taken her eyes off me.
‘Everything is okay at the moment, really. I have time in the evenings and can easily do a bit extra from home,’ I reassure her.
‘If you say so, but don’t overdo it. I don’t want to overload you when there’s so much going on.’
I plaster on a smile. Livvie’s usually too caught up in her own thoughts to notice the little things in life and if she’s scrutinising me, then she’s noticed something. That means I need to be more careful or I’m going to start worrying the people who love me.
‘I can’t wait to see Josh tonight. We’re taking the girls to the cinema.’
I make my voice sound bright and breezy. In my head the vision of Max’s hand reaching out for me tugs at my heartstrings.
~
‘Aunt Clare? Is there any chance we could meet up for a quick coffee? I can get away from work in about an hour, so any time after eleven-thirty.’
‘Hi, Ellie, it’s lovely to hear your voice. I’ve only just woken up. I’ve recently finished four late shifts in a row. Let me see what time it is, oh, right. Guess I needed a lie-in this morning. Give me an hour and a half and I’ll meet you in the coffee shop around the corner from your office. Is everything okay?’
‘Fine. I need a listening ear.’
‘I’m yours. I’ll jump in the shower, grab some breakfast and head over. See you in a bit.’
I’m hoping Livvie won’t notice my absence, as I think she has a couple of meetings today. But just in case she does, I mention to the new lady, Eve, that I’m meeting my aunt for lunch. Livvie is bound to be curious if she spots my empty desk, as I don’t usually take a lunch break as such. But I really need some advice and I need it now.
~
‘Hi, Ellie. How’s Josh’s new job going?’
We exchange hugs and Aunt Clare pulls out the seat opposite me. The café is full and I was lucky to get a table, but it’s not the most private of places to talk. I bring her up to date on Josh and the girls, happy to report that things are ticking over rather well, all things considered.
Aunt Clare gives me an encouraging smile. ‘That’s good to hear, Ellie. I was worried the strain would be too much. Even for you.’
She reaches across, patting my arm affectionately. I know we are both thinking of Mum and how different life would be if she was still here. She would have loved picking up the girls from school, taking them to their after-school activities and generally sharing quality time with them.
‘You look well. And happy,’ I remark, thinking she sounds a lot more upbeat than usual. ‘Oh, it’s a man, isn’t it?’ I begin laughing and she actually blushes.
‘There is a little company in my life at the moment, I will admit. Don’t go reading anything into it, well, not just yet, anyway. But we’re having fun and we’ll just have to see where it goes.’
‘Is it the same guy? The one who thinks you have an amazing sense of humour?’
She bursts out laughing, but I can see from her reaction that I’m right.
‘Maybe. Now let’s change the subject. What’s important enough to pull you away from work?’
I let out a sigh and Aunt Clare frowns. ‘Trouble?’
‘No, I don’t think so, more of a dilemma.’
‘Okay, you have my undivided attention.’
I toy with my coffee cup, trying to decide where to begin.
‘Is this about the déjà vu thing we discussed after your return from Italy?’
I look up at her, surprised she’s connected the dots.
‘Yes, and I wish it wasn’t. I know it sounds a little ridiculous, but I’m even dreaming about it. I know that’s understandable in one way, as having met the people I appreciate the impact of the business Bradley’s is putting their way. I mean, it’s personal now and the more contact I have, the harder it is to distance myself from it, even if I wanted to.’
Aunt Clare puts down her coffee cup and leans forward, concern written all over her face.
‘I think you’d better be a little more specific here. What aren’t you telling me?’
I close my eyes for a moment, suddenly fearful of what she will think.
‘Max Johnson and I are emailing and last night we made contact on FaceTime. Most of the work orders I place are through his assistant, Bella. Bella is coming to the UK next week to visit her family. I’ve invited her to stay overnight.’
‘Stop there. That doesn’t make sense. You deal with Bella, so why are you talking to Max?’
‘I told you, we had this … connection.’ I sit looking at her, hoping she’ll understand without me having to explain – because I don’t really understand it myself.
‘No, Ellie. You told me you felt some sort of a connection to Italy and the villa, remember? Are you saying now you felt a connection to Max specifically? Because that isn’t quite the same thing.’
She looks appalled. Panic begins to rise in my chest as I realise I can’t back down now, even though this isn’t going quite the way I’d hoped. The least I can do is make it seem matter-of-fact.
‘He’s
isolated, Aunt Clare, and his situation is impossible. All he needs is a friend, someone he can talk to. You know me, I’m a good listener and it’s no coincidence I was whisked away to get a glimpse of the pain in his life. Now I understand that, how can I simply ignore it? I didn’t mention it to Josh when I came back because we were all preoccupied with Josh’s situation at work. I mean, there’s nothing else going on between us on a personal level. I just listen to Max. That’s not wrong, is it?’
Aunt Clare sits back, her eyes searching my face as if she’s mulling over my words and not sure what conclusion to draw. A few seconds of silence hang between us before she replies.
She leans forward, speaking softly. ‘You haven’t fallen out of love with Josh, have you? I mean, this guy hasn’t come between you two?’
My reply is instant and heartfelt. ‘Of course not. Josh is my soul mate and I love him more than life itself. That will never, ever change.’ My eyes fill with tears and I look away for a moment, not wanting her to see how torn I feel. ‘But I admit I do feel a certain connection with Max because he has no one else.’
‘Okay, perhaps I over-reacted there for a moment. It came as a bit of a shock, I mean, you and Josh are such a solid couple. This isn’t like you, at all. You have so much to lose if you make a silly mistake for the wrong reason. If this isn’t some transient feeling of attraction, I need to understand why you can’t walk away from him. I know you are a sensitive soul and you care about people, but Italy is a long way away. There’s a limit to what you can do to help, anyway. You might want to consider it as damage limitation, as good intentions can often go more than a little awry. You said Bella is your new contact over there, so what am I missing? Does Livvie know about this?’
I realise I’m going to have to trust in her discretion and reveal what Max has confided in me. I pull my chair closer to the table, not wanting to raise my voice, but it’s getting increasingly difficult to hear her over the background buzz.
‘Max’s fiancée, Aletta, disappeared a little over two years ago. He initially went there for a holiday and ended up staying to help the family, who were struggling to cope. Aletta’s father was recovering from his first stroke, at the time. As the only child, there was no one else able to manage the operations and help Aletta, and her mother. Many of their wider family members are employed in either the production of the olive oil, or the hotel side of the business. Max’s arrival must have made him look like a saviour, as he had the right skills to take over the reins. As his relationship with Aletta deteriorated, his sense of responsibility was growing. He soon realised they were in a serious way, financially. After a disastrous year for the olive harvest, he encouraged them to diversify. Unwittingly, he was getting pulled in beyond the point of no return.’
I can see by the expression on her face that this wasn’t at all what she expected to hear. I indicate to the waitress to bring two more cups of coffee, as one thing is for sure, this story isn’t a short one.
‘We are talking about the livelihood of so many families. Max was interviewed by the police, but released when they were able to confirm that Aletta had flown to London, as planned. It turned out that the trade show she was supposed to be attending was merely an excuse. It was more than a month away and she’d told Max she would be back five days later. At the time her father was going downhill, rapidly, and he died a little over two months later. Max won’t walk away, even though there are still people who think he might have been involved with Aletta’s disappearance. But it’s only his efforts that have kept that community going and the Ormanni family’s business interests continuing to thrive.’
Aunt Clare breathes out heavily, her eyes reflecting the fact that she, too, can see it’s an impossible situation.
‘It’s a harrowing story, Ellie, but you have to remember that this isn’t your life we are talking about.’
It’s a difficult conversation to have in such an open place and Aunt Clare can see I don’t know whether or not to continue.
‘Come on, finish your coffee and let’s take a walk.’
She doesn’t wait for me, but heads off to the till to pay the bill. I gather together my things and make my way outside. My head is buzzing, but at least I don’t feel so closed in.
‘Thank you. I couldn’t have stayed in there for much longer. I really value your opinion. But first, I need you to understand why I feel so involved and explaining that isn’t easy. I love Josh and the girls with all my heart, but it’s almost like I now have two lives running in parallel. The reason I can’t let go of Max is too difficult to put into words. Please believe me when I say I have done nothing wrong, nothing to feel ashamed of. I would never betray Josh and the girls. It’s not possible to have two soul mates, is it? Or maybe Max is my soul mate from another lifetime and what has stirred inside of me are feelings I’m not even supposed to remember? It’s the only way I can explain a connection I can’t ignore. In the same way that I knew as soon as I saw Josh that our life together was destined, I feel something very similar with Max. That sort of thing is so rare, Aunt Clare, some people don’t even experience it once, so twice takes that way beyond a coincidence. Why did Italy have to happen?’
As the full impact of my words hit me, I realise I was fooling myself to think I was in control. Now I’m caught up in something that is beginning to rip my life into two. In exactly the same way that Max is unable to walk away from the situation he’s in, through no real fault of his own. It seems fate has decided that I, too, am a pawn.
Aunt Clare’s face looks pained. ‘Two lives. Two connections. Is this some sick joke fate is playing?’ She isn’t talking to me, but to herself and she shakes her head.
‘What do you mean? I don’t understand.’
She comes to a standstill, leaning against a large brick wall for support. I walk around to stand in front of her, trying to read her face.
‘You can’t live two lives at once, can you? Of course it’s ridiculous, but I wonder – isn’t that technically what identical twins do? But then, there was nothing to say you were identical.’
‘What do you mean? I don’t understand you. Please, talk to me.’ I grab Aunt Clare’s arm, making her look into my eyes.
‘Obviously she never told you. You were one of twins, but the other embryo didn’t survive and your mum miscarried it at twelve weeks. She feared she’d lose you, too, but fate was kind. Of course, you might not have had an identical twin, but two lives … is that a weird sort of coincidence? Maybe this isn’t just about you, Ellie, and you are right, there is a connection you don’t understand. There are too many unknowns in this world and I, for one, prefer not to over-think things because it’s easier to keep it simple.’
She hugs me and we stand, totally oblivious to the people passing by.
‘You don’t think I’m going mad, or that I’ve done anything wrong?’
‘I think you are confused and you’ve been pulled into a situation by a set of circumstances that were outside of your control. Clearly this wasn’t of your making, Ellie and you don’t deserve to have your life disrupted in this way. All you can do is to cut all ties to Max and keep telling yourself that you are doing it for Josh, Hettie and Rosie. But I feel for you, as it means walking away from someone who is obviously desperate to reach out to you. I don’t know Max, but his situation sounds like an impossible one. You are taking a big risk getting involved in this any further, and you have no idea what information might come to light in the future. And yet you seem to believe he’s innocent, without any hesitation whatsoever.’
My stomach churns and nausea rises up within me, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I will myself not to throw up.
‘If I don’t get involved something really bad will happen, Aunt Clare. I know it, deep down inside of me. Do I want that on my conscience? I fear that I’m already past the point of no return. Bella says she has uncovered some new information about Aletta. What if the end is in sight and if I step away now my part in this will be the missing link tha
t means it’s never resolved? What if, when Bella arrives, I tell her everything I know and hope that’s enough? Maybe then I will be able to accept there is nothing more I can do and let him go.’
‘My poor, dear, girl. This is the worst possible thing that could happen to you, because I know how deeply you feel things and you have such a big heart. It’s hard to be different, isn’t it? But you must beware of giving too much of yourself, Ellie. That’s about the only advice I can give you. Josh won’t understand this, of that I’m sure. It doesn’t matter that you aren’t having an affair with Max in the usual sense. He’ll be hurt because you have developed a connection with another man; someone who should be a stranger to you, but whose life has touched you in a very personal way. Some things should never be said and this is one of those things. How you are going to cope and not let this come between you and Josh, I don’t know. But if Josh finds out it could rip your marriage apart.’
‘I can’t let that happen, Aunt Clare. I won’t let that happen. Josh and the girls have to come first. After Bella’s visit I will make it clear that there really isn’t anything I can do for Max. I’m sorry to have dragged you into this, but I needed to hear your take on it.’
‘Be strong, dear girl. Ring me at any time, night or day.’
Chapter 25
What should have been a wonderfully relaxing weekend ends up being a nightmare, as I struggle to maintain my composure. A part of me wants to sit down with Josh and let it all out, but another part of me knows that Aunt Clare is right. I can’t risk anything that might rip my family apart, even though Max’s face now haunts me at every turn.
As each hour passes I feel this impending sense of loss, similar to when Mum died. In those final days I found myself willing the end to come to spare her the pain, but a part of me also didn’t want to let her go. Saying that final goodbye was beyond painful; it leaves a scar on the heart that never heals. I fear the same when I tell Max I can’t be there for him.
I am full of anger for the way fate has chosen to inflict this on us all, because nothing will be quite the same after it’s over. I’m counting down the hours until Bella arrives on Wednesday and I can tell her what I know. After that, the pain will come from not knowing what is happening, but the line will have been drawn. I can only hope it doesn’t affect me to the extent that Josh decides to broach the subject and ask me outright what’s been going on.
The Secrets of Villa Rosso Page 15
