by Marie Brown
her bed?
But no, because both of those voices were clearly female. What. . . how. . . Everybody knew the Dargasi didn't tolerate same-sex pairings. Even she knew that. The one bit of culture she'd managed to pick up about her ancestors was "no poofting."
So why, why were two girls giving each other so much pleasure over there? All that moaning. . .
"Hey, keep it down!" a sleepy voice protested. "Trying to sleep here."
"Sorry!"
A bit of muffled giggling, then more quiet sounds. Lorrine had to strain her ears to pick up the sounds of movement and pleasure now. Why was nobody protesting for real? Clearly she wasn't the only one awakened by the perverts. Why just a complaint about the noise, not about the morality?
And why, oh why, did they have to do that sort of thing right now, while Lorrine felt so painfully alone, separated from Derfek by hours' worth of desert sands, without Kama to turn to for comfort. . .
Culture Shock
The morning found her still tired, because she hadn't really slept much. Between longing for Derfek and wondering about girls having sex with each other (how?), she'd managed to keep herself awake most of the night. Maybe she'd better move on, get back to her man, leave these crazy people to their rocks and their sand.
"What's wrong?" Selima asked her as they headed for the breakfast table. "You seem unhappy."
"I didn't sleep well." Should she just come out and ask?
"Were you missing your man? Poor thing. Perhaps you'll find a companion to keep you warm at night, until you're back with him."
Lorrine stopped in her tracks. "What? You can't mean-"
"No, not me, silly. Find someone to lie with. You know it's the only way we survive."
"No, I don't know." Lorrine tugged at her hair, distressed. "Maybe you'd better tell me what you people really believe about perverts."
"Perverts?" Selima laughed. "Come on, don't just stand there. Walk with me. You sound like you've been talking to a man. They're the ones that drone on about perversion, because they can't stand the thought of being intimate with another man. Think it'll unman them, or something. But us, now, well, us women are kept locked away from all men, and it doesn't change much once we're married. So we find what joy we can with each other."
"I. . . I always thought. . . "
"Be honest, cousin, there's not a thing wrong with enjoying a woman's love. Absolutely no chance of pregnancy, and the perfect opportunity to feel loved and wanted. What could be wrong with that?"
Kama's blue eyes looked at her through a veil of tears, wanting to know the same thing.
"I-I don't-I just always thought, mother always said it was wrong. . . Just not done. . . "
"Oh, don't be silly. Our culture's been stable for over a thousand annums now, if it was that wrong to seek a bit of pleasure we would have collapsed long ago, trapped in this great rock pile as we all are."
They reached the dining tables, and collected some kind of cooked grain cereal, but Lorrine remained lost in a fog of confusion as she ate. If even her own people found nothing wrong with a woman loving another woman, then why the hell was she with Derfek?
Because she loved him, of course. She tried to put aside her questions and worries, instead trying to figure out exactly what she was doing here, in the middle of Karr'at, surrounded by people related to her through varying degrees of blood.
"Lorrine," Ranam's voice said at her elbow, as she finished up her grain. "You need to come with me. My mother wishes to speak to you." Then he glanced at Selima. "Daughter, you may be needed later this day, after Elmaria is finished with your cousin. Her fate is yet uncertain. So be ready."
"Certainly, Father," Selima said, then smiled at Lorrine, a far more restrained expression than her usual wide grin. "Good luck with Grandmother."
Lorrine wondered at that as she followed Ranam through the amazingly well-lit hallways. Light came from outside through cunning tunnels, made of shiny metal of some sort, so it looked like small patches of normal sunlight falling on the floors and walls.
Why would her fate be decided by her grandmother, a woman she'd clearly never met? Shouldn't that be up to the Keeper of the Stone, leader of the Dargasi, who'd already welcomed her into the family with open arms? Literally.
"Your grandmother," Ranam said suddenly, as they reached a point very deep in the fortress where the stone overhead felt menacing, poised to fall on their heads, "my mother, was terribly upset by the fate of her children. She has not been entirely right since Malina left, and she got far worse when Mintarre died. But her word still carries weight here, as a future matriarch of the people. So be ready for nearly anything, and remember to be kind, for she is not the woman she once was."
"I will," Lorrine promised solemnly.
"Good. I will leave you here. She asked for you, not me. Follow this hallway to the staircase, then go down until you can not go down any more. There you will find her, your grandmother Elmaria."
"Thank you," Lorrine said, and watched a moment as the tall, proud man walked away, leaving her all alone in the middle of a mountain.
Then she followed his instructions. The staircase at the end of the hall took her down into a pit of darkness. The farther down she went, the less light followed her, until she groped her way forward one foot at a time, with her hand clinging to the reassuring solidity of the wall.
Then her foot failed to find any more stairs. Lorrine stood for a moment, straining her eyes to see anything in the gloom. Off to the left, she saw a trace of light, shockingly bright against the darkness, although she suspected that in the world above the light would scarcely be noticed. Cautiously, one step at a time, she moved towards it.
"Hello?" she called. "Hello, Elmaria? I'm Lorrine."
No response. The light led her to a room filled with glowing lichens and fungus. Lorrine gazed around her in wonder, at the sheets and lumps and mushrooms of all sizes, all putting off a faint greenish, yellowish, or bluish glow. She almost missed the dark-robed figure off to the side, until the woman moved.
"You are the daughter of Malina?"
The old voice made her jump. "Yes," Lorrine said, tearing her eyes off the glowing garden and finding the speaker.
"Come, let me look at you in the light."
A hand beckoned, and Lorrine moved towards it. What light? Despite the glow of the fungi, the darkness still pressed against her, thick and intense. But that didn't stop Elmaria from inspecting her granddaughter thoroughly.
"I see both of them in you," the old woman murmured. She seemed far older than Arentin, and yet, she clearly could not be that old. She'd married Arentin's son, after all, and bore him children. "They think me mad, you know," she continued. "All of those folk upstairs. I am not mad. I merely shun the world of the light and the living, for down here I can bring no further harm to anyone, only the mushroomy goodness of my produce. I need not watch any further antics of my offspring, or my grandchildren. It is safe here. But you, you bring the old troubles back with you, with your skin like Malina and your bones from Mintarre. You make me wonder all over again how I failed my son, and think how I should have listened more closely to my daughter. How fares my daughter in her exile?"
"I left home several annums ago, Grandmother," Lorrine said, somewhat off-balance. "When last I saw her, my mother had settled with her husband in a small cottage on the shore of a lake, and was in good health."
"You sound as if there was bad blood between you. No surprise there, given the circumstances of your conception. At least she overcame her revulsion well enough to raise you, rather than abandoning you."
"Abandon me! No, she wouldn't have done that."
"And now, my son tells me you ride with a man? Is this man your husband?"
Lorrine laughed. "No, not at all. We are together, but not married."
Her grandmother sniffed disdainfully. "Well. We shall have to remedy that situation. Unwed women simply do not have paramours."
"You mean, you want me to marry Derfek?" Lorrine almos
t liked that idea, but certain things in their past made her feel uncomfortable about taking such a step. Such as Derfek's little habit of sleeping with any woman he could find.
"Certainly not. I will have to find you a suitable man of your own people. It would make no sense for you, daughter of royalty, to marry a man barred from setting foot on Dargasi lands."
"Now wait a minute-"
Elmaria raised a hand, easily visible against the glowing backdrop. "Enough. I will hear no complaints from you, granddaughter. You must become one of us now, and learn our ways. Now. Leave me, and tell my son I will have you stay."
The old woman turned back to her mushrooms, dismissing Lorrine very thoroughly. Lorrine stared for a long moment, thoughts racing through her head as she watched Elmaria fiddling with her mushrooms, humming softly as she poked and prodded at the fungi.
Then Lorrine shook her head, and left. Some fights just weren't worth having.
Stormrider
Kama taught her first embroidery class when she'd been at the school for a month. During that time, she'd found some sort of balance again, and moved back into the world of the living if not with joy, then at least with willingness to meet each day's challenges head on.
Oddly enough, she discovered within three days that she liked teaching. She'd worried a bit before the class started, because she'd never taught a class before, or even a single student. But she found herself settling in like this was her twentieth class, not her first. Her first batch of students were all fully
