by Sam Destiny
As if she could forget.
“Bye, Mr. Lanestrong,” she stated and then hung up, resting her head back.
She stared at the ceiling, her mind a million miles away as the door opened.
For a crazy moment she thought it would be Tank with her daughter, but since they’d had a fight, she didn’t think he’d be back.
It was her mother.
“Evangeline, can I come in?” she asked cautiously and Evy pointed at the chair next to her bed. She was a little dumbfounded about her mother asking for permission, but then figured it didn’t matter.
The resentment spreading in her since the day before had only grown. She didn’t even know what to really say to her mother, besides the fact that she hoped she’d never treat her daughter that way, and instead would do everything so Leila thought she rocked the world—either with help, or without.
The chair scratched as it moved across the floor, her mother’s hand trembling as she pulled it back.
“How are you feeling?”
Useless.
Alone.
Helpless.
Hopeless.
“I’m tied to the bed, and the gala is coming closer and closer. My entire life depends on this. Lanestrong won’t let me stay here if I cannot excel at this event.”
“Tessa and your friends will do everything to make it work, I’m sure,” Dana Jackson announced quietly and Evy glanced at her.
“How do you know?”
Her mother looked sheepishly at her. “I went and checked out your office because I was curious where you work now. It was buzzing. I have to admit, I remember Tessa to be a lot more…”
“Submissive?”
“A push-over.”
Evy gaped. “That’s what you thought about my best friend? That she was a push-over? And you still gave me shit about her helping me, about me not being able to do things alone?”
Her mother shrugged. “You ask for anything, and she does it.”
Evy struggled to sit up, glaring at the woman who’d raised her. “That’s not being a push-over. That’s being an incredible friend. I cannot believe you considered that a weakness.” God, it wasn’t Evy who needed a reality check, it was her mother.
“Your sister got fired.”
The topic change didn’t surprise Evy the least. If she watched her mother closely, she could tell something weighed heavily on her mind—and it sure as hell wasn’t her eldest daughter.
Never the eldest.
“Did she now?” Why was her voice so flat? God, she loved her family, but what in the world was wrong with her that she suddenly couldn’t care less?
“She slept with her boss, and his wife found out. It caused a huge drama. We… there was a huge fight. I mean, your father and I separately had a huge fight with her. Turns out she rarely gets a job because of her qualifications. Or rather—”
“I know, Mom,” Evy interrupted her, feeling unbelievably tired. It was as if it suddenly made sense that her mother was there. She needed a new shining girl since her little sunshine had ruined her own reputation.
The realization that her mother wouldn’t be here had her sister not messed up made her heart break and her head ache. She’d done everything to earn her mother’s approval and now she suddenly didn’t want it anymore.
“I wish she was more like you. I have always wished for that. You were my strong one, my independent one. You never needed a mother after you turned twelve. See, you don’t even have me in your emergency contacts.”
Evy blinked, and then blinked again, as if she was slow to understand. And maybe she was, because the words coming from her mother’s lips didn’t make any sense at all.
“I did everything by myself because you never saw me. You always made me feel as if I couldn’t do a damn thing alone, and I tried to prove to you I could. That I was strong, and could do it, and that you could be proud of me.”
“I was always proud. And jealous of those people you let in. Like Tessa. You never worried about asking her for things. When you were down, when you were close to tears, you ran to her, not to me.”
Of course she had, because she’d thought her mother would just see another weakness in her daughter.
Tears came to Evy’s eyes and she tried to blink them away.
“Over the last months, hell, maybe even longer, I managed to estrange almost everyone, and guess what? It didn’t stop when I came here. In fact, I think it got only worse because I wanted to do this job right.” Evy sobbed and took a moment before she could say her next sentence. “I suck at peopling so bad, I even managed to make the only guy I ever loved run for new hills.”
And they’d been probably a tight C-cup or so.
“The guy from yesterday? Thomas?”
She nodded, searing pain racing through her at his name. She wanted to have him close and whisper her confessions only to him, but before that would happen she’d have to have a talk with him, and she wasn’t sure she could get through it.
She’d decided to forgive him, no matter how stupid that was, because she wanted him. Wanted him so much it hurt.
“He didn’t look as if he was a person to easily leave your side.”
“He strayed, Mom. He strayed from my side.”
Her mother’s expression got soft even while her eyes hardened in anger. “Then he didn’t deserve you in the first place. There’ll be others,” her mother assured her, awkwardly patting her hand.
The thing was, Evy didn’t want anyone else any longer.
The Aquarium was beautiful, but Tank didn’t see it any longer when he passed through to get to the room they had to prepare for the gala, and he was always surprised how big the space was—and how much it had already transformed. There were fairy lights everywhere and yet he knew they hadn’t hung all of them yet.
“We started making the flowers Tessa and Evy suggested hanging, and it’s so much fun,” Jo babbled next to him and he nodded slowly, his mind everywhere but on the task at hand.
“Are you okay?”
Tank blinked. “What do you mean?” He smiled. “I’m perfectly fine.”
She nudged him and he shook his head with a smile. Jo was like the mother he never had, and certainly like the grandmother one always wished for. “You aren’t. I can tell when you aren’t, although today it was easy. You never before corrected Leila when she called you Daddy, and it makes me think you—”
“Stick your nose where it doesn’t belong? I absolutely agree.”
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out hastily, but it wasn’t Evy.
He should’ve known.
However, it was a call he had to take.
“Michaels?”
“Thomas, it’s Stacey. I was wondering if you managed to get an answer faster. I know I promised no strings attached, but—”
“You said you wouldn’t push me,” he muttered, turning away from Jo. She pretended to watch some fish, but he knew better.
Stacey sighed, regret coming through loud and clear. “And I usually keep my promises, especially if they are made to amazing guys like you, but there was another person interested,” she explained.
Tank wasn’t the least bit surprised since it had been an incredible deal.
“Finish the papers, Stacey. Deed it to Evangeline Jackson. I’ll message you her details.”
Silence greeted his words and he wasn’t the least bit shocked. “Stacey, I appreciate everything you’re doing, seriously, but I need the papers in her name. The house is perfect, and she needs it. I’m sure she’ll love it, and she won’t be mad about me making the decision alone.” Well, not madder than she already was, at least, he added mentally.
“A house?” Jo echoed and Tank closed his eyes. He’d forgotten she was there.
“Thomas, this is a big decision. As in, a huge decision, and you should make it with her.”
He shook his head, invisible to the pretty blonde on the other end of the line. The house was barely ten minutes’ walk from Tessa’s
in the middle of the forest and Tank knew Evy would love it more than anything.
Plus, being so close to Tessa would ease a lot of problems, and whenever they needed the help—which he was sure they would—her best friend would be around.
Jazz and Tessa rocked that family thing. Did they have issues? Yes, but they both were one hundred percent in the relationship and child thing. He and Ev? That was a different matter. He didn’t know what he was doing and Evangeline loved her daughter, but it was obvious she was overwhelmed with finding a balance between what she’d longed for, and what her new reality was.
Tessa wouldn’t judge and Tank needed that. Hell, they both did.
“I don’t need to talk to her about it. I’m sure she’ll love it just the way I thought. The previous owners will still leave everything inside, right?” He’d already planned to replace the sofa and the bed, and create a child’s room for Leila, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to keep the rest of the furniture just to get them started.
Evy hopped into the house, glad that neither Hilary nor anyone else was around. She’d left the hospital on her own decision. Three days of lying around was more than enough. She couldn’t stand it anymore, especially not when Tank didn’t drop by.
A nurse had told her someone had come to visit her when she’d been asleep, but because it had been the day after her mother had left, she hadn’t exactly bothered to pretend she was doing okay, and had gotten painkillers against the headache. Secretly she’d hoped they’d help against the heartache, too, but that hadn’t worked.
Evangeline was still hurting over not having spoken to him again, and over the faceless woman he’d most likely done, too, but she missed him. Missed him so much.
Tessa had dropped by, her face disapproving, and Evy had told her unless she was ready to not mention Tank, she could leave right away again. Tess was her best friend, was supposed to be on her side, but instead the blonde had stood to leave and watched her before shaking her head, telling her to call her when she was ready to truly listen.
She wasn’t. She didn’t want to hear explanation and excuses. She wanted to pretend it never happened.
Dropping down onto the couch, she stared up at the ceiling, wondering if she should call him up, ask him over. Maybe they could have sex. Granted, she had a cast leg, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t go down on each other. And sex made everything better.
“A roll in the sheets should be fine, right?” she said out loud, knowing no one was there to tell her differently.
“Depends on whom you want to sleep with.”
Evy nearly toppled off the sofa, her heart in her throat although she recognized the voice.
“Aimie?” She stared at the Australian friend she’d expected to be half a world away, thinking that now their original girls’ club was almost completely in the US again. “What the hell are you doing here and when did you arrive? Why didn’t Tessa tell me?”
She wished she could get up and hug her friend, but wasn’t fast enough. However, Aimie crossed the space over to her and gave her a one-sided squeeze.
It was an awkward one, always probably would be between them because Aimie and she weren’t exactly on the best of terms. Aimie most likely still held a grudge because Evy had tried to keep Tessa and Jazz apart way back when.
“Tessa doesn’t know yet. Hils was literally on the way out when I came in just an hour ago,” she reported.
“How long are you staying? And so shortly after Christmas!”
Aimie nodded, her eyes clouding with sadness and despair. Jesus, Evy knew those feelings way too well.
“I’ll be staying six months. I couldn’t… things were…” Aimie shook her head, clearly trying for another time to find the right way to start. “I couldn’t be home another second. I was lonely, miserable, slipping into a darkness no one needs, and I knew you all were going to be here. I scraped together whatever money I had, made sure my rent would be paid for the time I’m away and then bought the tickets. I have practically nothing left now, but at least whenever I return I have an apartment. I needed this so bad. And… I cannot wait to see Tessa and hug her.”
Evy wasn’t the least bit surprised, jealousy crawling through her slowly. Aimie and Tessa had always been easy, it had always worked because Aimie understood. Had already back then.
Only now Evy, too, understood, and wished she could make things right with her bestie. “She’s pissed at me.”
“Because of Tank. I know. I heard the short version. I was surprised to realize the two of you were so close. Tank and you, that is.”
So was Evy. “I hated him. I mean, not totally because he was nice to me when I was here, but I still did for talking to everyone else the way he did. And I still disliked him when we started talking online. And then, I think, I only told myself I hated him, but it wasn’t true. I craved his attention because it made me feel…”
“Like a woman?” Aimie helped out.
“And when I came back, and he looked at me, I felt like a person who’s worthy. Of what, I didn’t know until I realized he just couldn’t—”
“Not true. I know you were going to say he couldn’t stay true to you, but Hilary and Tessa don’t believe that. Why do you?”
“Secrets? Not answering his phone? Dropping off my daughter to get away as soon as possible? Besides, I don’t think you have any right to have an opinion because you weren’t here. You haven’t seen it. You didn’t see any of it.” Shut up, Evangeline, she told herself.
Aimie didn’t run. In fact, Aimie turned toward her more, arching a brow. “You know what the good thing between us is?” she asked and Evy shook her head.
“We’re friends, but not very close ones. I’d have your back the way I have Tessa’s, EmJay’s, Hilary’s. However, with you, I know you’re tough and you prefer the utter truth. You don’t need the lie to make everything better, or get you through shit, so here’s the truth. You want to feel sorry for yourself. You’re pissed at yourself for pushing people away, but you cannot allow them close, either. And you might love your daughter—I know she’s the sweetest thing—but you didn’t plan on her. You probably told yourself back then you were being punished. Answer me one question, okay?”
Nope, she didn’t want to, but nodded anyway.
“Why didn’t you get an abortion?”
That was easy. “Because Tessa would’ve killed me.”
Aimie shook her head. “No, and we all know it. Did she fight you on the decision? Yes, but let’s be honest, if you’d have gone through with it, she would’ve supported you no matter what. It’s what best friends do. So, why didn’t you do it?”
Evy opened her mouth to say more platitudes, things about how society wouldn’t approve, but it wasn’t true. None of those were the reasons.
She swallowed. “Because I thought it was a sign. That it was time for another chance. Tessa had hers at the tips of her fingers, and maybe this was mine. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized I could be a mom. A good one. A better one than my own. Turned out I wasn’t any better.”
Aimie smirked. “You are. You are a good mom. I saw pictures of Tank and Lei, and Tessa and Lei. She’s such a happy girl. She wouldn’t be if you weren’t an awesome mom. However, you need to allow yourself to think of yourself as good. You are strong, and you are weak. Both are okay. Just be a friend, a woman, a mother, a lover, and have good days and bad, but have them all. Live it. Don’t suppress anything. And believe that people are in your life to stay.”
Before Evy could say anything at all, the front door opened and by the voices alone, she’d say all of their friends just had walked in.
‘Oh shit’ wasn’t even covering what she was thinking.
Tank felt better, more relaxed, and he had a plan. He also knew Tessa was ready to at least see Evy at the hospital again and just try to talk to her about the gala, about the organization, about Leila.
“I cannot wait for the days to get a little warmer again,” Dr. Ryan Spencer ann
ounced behind him, and Tank nodded at his friend over his shoulder, smacking right into a tiny brunette.
“What the fuck?” he asked, looking over Hilary’s head at the living room—and Evy on the couch.
“Oh my God, Aimie,” Tessa squealed and broke free from the group, hugging Aimie before turning her scolding glance toward Evy.
Next to Tank Ryan licked his lips, clearing his throat as Jazz brushed past him, nudging him with a smirk.
“What was that about?” Tank asked, wanting to focus on everything but Evy although he felt her eyes burn on his body.
Ryan shrugged and then turned away, acting suspiciously busy. He’d been by Tessa’s and Jazz’s house a lot, a close friend of those two since the time Jazz had spent at the hospital. They’d hung out a few times, but still Tank wasn’t sure if Ryan stuck around because of Jazz—or because of Tessa.
“Thom.”
He recognized the voice and it never failed to make his heart race in his chest. He had a plan, but had meant to give himself one more day.
Dragging his eyes up from her broken leg to her hazel eyes, he longed to be close to her. The need was on her face, and as he watched her, the world fell away.
All the other people in the room disappeared.
The tiny blonde he should probably at least acknowledge.
The woman who was the reason they all stood in the house together.
His best friend.
Everyone had vanished but the girl he loved, the woman who now started to cry.
He gritted his teeth, unable to think of a single thing to say and it didn’t matter because she still moved forward—without crutches, he noticed, and it made him angry—and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest.
He stayed still for a few seconds, soaking up her warmth, her closeness, and yet didn’t allow himself to hug her.
Counting to ten, he pried her free from him. “Don’t, Evangeline,” he whispered, cupping her cheek briefly before stepping away. Hell, he needed to get out of there.
He wouldn’t have come had he not been sure Evy wouldn’t be there.
