by Melody Rose
Well, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
“Come on, Aurelius. We can do it. Between the two of us, we might find a way out of all this.” I tried my best to look on the bright side and opened the carriage door. I wasn’t exactly scared since I’d already been face-to-face with a skinwalker, but I knew that whatever came next would be way more than I came prepared for.
When I stepped out, a puffy white cloud slipped out beneath my feet and Aurelius’ paws, swept us both up, and shot past the bridge so quickly I couldn’t even make sense of my surroundings. Everything around me just melted into a blur of colors, and I thought I might fall to my death, never to be seen again. Luckily, I guess the cloud came equipped with a force field, because every time I did wobble dangerously over the edge, I was just shoved back to the center.
Once I stopped wondering if I’d break my neck, the experience really wasn’t that bad. Even Aurelius started to pant happily when my fear faded, and I got hit with the adrenaline rush that comes after a steep drop on a rollercoaster. Even with all the cloud’s speed, it didn’t give us a nasty whiplash when it came to its stop. The entire trip down the bridge took less than a few minutes. That seemed odd, as the bridge I’d looked at seemed impossibly long. I guess this was just another part of this new place that I’d have to get used to. I felt really dizzy, but other than that, I felt fine.
After a moment, my head stopped spinning, and I was able to lay eyes on what I went through Hell and back to visit. I had only seen illustrations of castles in history books or the picture books my father had read to me as a kid, but the real deal beat those, no question. Even though it looked authentic instead of a modern-day recreation dreamt up by someone with way too much cash to burn, the castle before me didn’t show any signs of aging. It towered into the sky with marbled majesty and sprawled out for miles. The dark green trees surrounding the gorgeous architecture offset its gleaming tones of ivory and muted blue. This was well worth the trip. Without Theo hassling me, I might even have the chance to have some fun exploring.
Once I stopped gawking up at the sky, I saw students that looked around my age milling about the school grounds, but they weren’t wearing casual clothes or any uniforms I’d ever seen. More unusual than that, only about a third of them looked human. Some looked close, like the slender woman who walked by me with reddish skin that smelled a little like coals, or the tall man who was so pale, he was almost transparent. Others were completely alien with shocking features like hooves, horns, or wings.
All of them wore robes that pooled under them as they rushed to their classes. They weren’t all the same cut or color, though. Some were plain while others were pretty flashy with eye-catching designs. A strange voice that sounded mature but inhuman seemed to come from close by, but I couldn’t connect it to anyone. I looked from side to side until I finally realized the source of the noise came from below.
I looked down to find two remarkably short creatures about the height and proportions of toddlers but with a ton more intelligence shining through their eyes.
One looked like a Christmas elf with bright green skin that had gone punk. He was the more intimidating of the two, even though that’s not saying much since I’d already seen much worse. When his pointy ears twitched, the three gold hoops on each to jingled, and as he grinned, he displayed a mouthful of fangs sharp as shark teeth. I’d seen creatures like him as villains in board games at my local comic book store, but he didn’t seem so bad.
His friend was taller by about a foot with a more subdued skin color that looked like a combination of sea-foam and pale jade. His scarlet hair grew from the middle of his skull like a mohawk, but he seemed to put special care into slicking it back. He looked like one of the Troll dolls I had seen at a garage sale once, but leaner and thankfully clothed in a smart plum waistcoat.
“Welcome to Bouclier des Bêtes Academy, mademoiselle! We apologize profusely for the Headmaster’s son,” the well-spoken troll greeted me, “He certainly has an… unconventional approach.”
The more rowdy goblin butted in, “That’s minotaur balls!” he exclaimed. “What he means to say is that Theodore is out of line and should be de-robed if he keeps overstepping his father!”
I laughed at the goblin’s spunk. Based on what I could put together, he wasn’t wrong.
“Yeah…” I knelt down to their level. I didn’t really know what the customs were here, but that seemed respectful to me. “Hey, I don’t really know what’s going on here… I just met Theo and Aurelius today.”
I patted my new friend’s head affectionately and continued, “As you can see, only one of them stuck around. Theo said that his father, the… Headmaster… is looking for someone interested in helping out animals.” The short duo exchanged looks. “Creatures, I guess you’d call them? But I’ve never been anywhere like this, and I don’t know how I’d enroll. Theo said I could attend here for free, so is there a scholarship office I can go to? By the way, I’m Joan.”
The troll smiled warmly and clasped both his hands around mine. It was kind of funny to see how tiny his fingers were. “Joan, we are so very glad to meet you. I am Yavo, and this here is Irk. He means well,” that comment seemed to piss Irk off, “but he has issues with Theo’s methods.”
“To answer your question about scholarships,” Irk chimed in, “there’s usually a lengthy process just to seek an audience with Abelard, the Headmaster, but it’s been expedited for you.”
“But why?” I asked, “It all sounds very formal, and how did you ever know about me?”
Yavo’s eyes lit up as he answered me, “Well, mademoiselle, it isn’t unheard of for the Headmaster to use his detection charms to search for young mages with promise.” He paused for a moment. “Though I will say, usually he only visits the settlements that surround Lemuria.”
Irk nodded. “Sometimes he’ll even travel to other continents with Nascha, Bouclier’s Dean of Mage Advancement, for exceptional cases,” he stared at me intently, “but he’s never had anyone cross the portal to contact a human before.”
So Irk knew who I was. I guess they did at least talk about humans here, so I don’t know why Theo kept using that other word.
“You didn’t call me a lamb’s blood,” I mused. “Is that slang for ‘human’ or something?” I just figured it sounded bad coming out of Theo’s mouth, but then I saw the color run out of both Irk’s and Yavo’s faces.
“Oh, no, no, no!” Yavo sputtered. “That’s not proper language!”
Irk confirmed this while shaking his fist, “Yeah! And if you catch anyone else calling you that, let me be the first to know!”
I had to keep back my smile at Irk’s overprotective nature. I really wanted to take him up on that offer, but if I was going to stick around, I didn’t think telling on the Headmaster’s son would earn me any favors. Still, I was really pissed that Theo kept calling me by what sounded like this place’s equivalent of “horrible bitch.”
“That’s really nice of you, Irk,” I did my best to sound serious, “so why do you think the Headmaster went through all that effort?”
Yavo gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Well, while not all the Headmaster’s reasoning is known to us, he is gifted with Sight and can intuit what even the most trained mage cannot. He has received revelation upon revelation that taming beasts will be instrumental for Bouclier’s prosperity. When he sought out an energy that can connect profoundly with creatures, he detected you.”
Even though it was hard to picture a wizard going on a quest for me, I nodded and considered his words. “Well, that sounds important, so why is Theo such a dick about it?”
Irk and Yavo looked up at me with bewilderment. Right. I was going to have to dial back the swear words with them.
“If I really can help out Bouclier,” I rephrased my question, “then why would the Headmaster’s son try so hard to stop me?”
“Because he’s sourer than gorgon piss!” Irk sneered. He was really starting to grow on me. We d
idn’t speak the same language, and yet the sentiment was there.
Yavo let go of my hand to pat Irk on the shoulder, “Now, there. Let’s not reduce ourselves to mudslinging.” As the goblin took a deep breath, the troll continued, “Theodore is just as sharp-minded as his father. Though he does not possess the Sight, he has his own very strong opinions about what’s best for Bouclier.”
“So, he doesn’t think I’m good enough,” I cut through Yavo’s politeness.
“Well…” Yavo hesitated. “Let’s not focus on what Theodore thinks right now and get you situated instead. It’s a high honor to attend Bouclier.”
Irk nodded frantically, while Aurelius nuzzled my leg and looked up at me with encouraging eyes.
“Yeah. Theodore can go get lost in a labyrinth for all I care. It’s going to be tough work, I won’t lie,” he admitted, “all the other students have been practicing magic their whole lives, but who cares if Abelard believes in you?”
Well, I had Abelard, who I hadn’t even met yet, Aurelius, Yavo, and Irk. Even though they lived in a different world, they were already more supportive than the family forced upon me before all of this. I was used to working hard my whole life, so I didn’t think a few magic classes would do me in. I was in no mood to go back home and would give this at least a couple shots.
“Let’s go,” I resolved. “I’m not sure I’m who you’re looking for, but I guess we’ll find out.”
9
Joan
I must have stuck out like a sore thumb in my khaki pants and forest green polo-shirt. Since I missed the wizard robe memo before getting dragged into a magical castle, I was still in my scrubs, and seeing that it was intended for a job that involved cleaning cages and other fun messes sick pets leave behind, I wasn’t exactly the picture of grace.
As I glanced down at my feet as I walked to try to ignore the sniggers of well-dressed mages, I thought about how the crimson carpets that ran down the academy’s halls looked like they cost more than what I made in a year over at Evergreen. Even though my supportive trio tagged along with me, we were outnumbered, and I could sense the distrust and disdain that followed me everywhere I went.
“What in the nine abysses?!” a young woman with sleek black hair that cascaded down to the small of her back called out rudely as I crossed her path. “Is this some type of equinox prank?! The final year mages have gone too far with this one!” Her snugly fit robe looked more like a prom gown with its glittering crystals and rose-colored silk. When I didn’t have an answer for her, she continued to list what disgusted her about me.
“You’re clearly a lamb’s blood, and while I know that some underclassmen have snuck out into the uninitiated world for some easy prey,” her full lips curled into a disdainful sneer, “they have the good sense to not bring them here.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. While Theo made a habit of insulting me, he at least let me express myself. This witch seemed to channel her powers into temporarily disabling people’s speech so that she could knock them down a peg.
“You smell like a disgusting concoction of sugar, bird droppings, and hound spit!” She gestured toward Aurelius, who stepped back to receive consoling pets from Yavo and Irk as they both glared silently. “Probably from that Cavallian runt there.”
I put all my effort into giving her the meanest expression I could muster since I couldn’t give her a piece of my mind. Unfortunately, this didn’t work, because she laughed in cruel delight. I realized that my face kept relaxing every time I tried to glare at her.
“I’m the top of my class in hypno-charms.” She smirked and touched her thin chin with a brief pause. “Except for Theo, that is, but I’ll let him have that victory. I can always ask for some… special tutoring.”
Irk wrinkled his nose at her innuendo, and I tried to ignore the picture of the two most stuck-up mages in this castle soaking up each other’s arrogance and pheromones. Gross.
Thankfully, the resident bitch finally left us alone when a shriek that sounded part-woman and part-bird rang through the halls. Whatever it was, it caused the bad-mouthing witch to give one last glare before she turned around and walked in the opposite direction.
I breathed a sigh of relief when my ability to speak was restored. “What the Hell was that?! I hope that’s not the version of the school bell. It’s horrifying.”
“She gets worse every year!” Irk stuck his tongue out at the witch, then answered me, “Luckily not. It’s the curfew call of the Bouclier’s harpy to remind students to remain indoors now that classes have ended for the day. Young mages are no match for what’s out on castle grounds when the moon is full.”
“I’m less worried what will happen out there,” I admitted, “and more about getting torn apart in here if I can’t blend in. She was really nasty, but she’s not wrong. I’m not dressed the part if I’m going to pass myself off as a student.”
Yavo smiled shyly as if he agreed but didn’t want to hurt my feelings. “We can take you to Bouclier’s tailor,” he suggested, “who will give you his expert opinion about what robes are most suitable for your current station as a newcomer.”
“Just…” Irk sucked his lips in, at a loss for words, “Know that nothing’s permanent, you know? You’ll move up the ranks, kid.”
I raised an eyebrow at his vagueness and shrugged. “Well, I’m not expecting a royal ball gown like Ms. Tongue Snatcher,” I reasoned, “but anything’s gotta be better than these dorky khakis.”
Irk and Yavo nodded, then lead me down a series of hallways until we reached a corridor where two banners decorated with what looked like scaled eggs hung over us.
When Yavo noticed me examine them, he offered, “Those are dragons’ eggs to represent the greatness each student possesses but must cultivate. Students return to this passage to find the attire and instruments that match their qualities and abilities.”
“Right now,” Irk walked over to a heavy oak door and knocked loudly, “we’ll start with Monsieur Everfour.”
The gruff goblin practically had to pummel the door before we finally received an answer which was more of an aggravated rant than the ordinary response. I was starting to get very exhausted at getting under almost everyone’s skin. I never asked for any of this, and I didn’t rush out of the gate picking fights. The hinges of the door groaned as it cracked open, and an irritated hiss slithered through.
“Blast!”
Since spells were such an everyday occurrence here, couldn’t he have worked some repair magic? Whoever the bad attitude belonged to must have enjoyed keeping everything old-fashioned. All I could really see was a long beak of a nose, thin lips, and a whole lot of age spots.
“Apprehensible!” half of his face ragged on me. “I’ve already dispensed with this quarter’s robes, so if you even inquire about one, you should turn your tardy self around and march out of here. Bouclier has no need for slothful cretins.”
Irk pushed his palm against the door with all his might. “Lighten up, Everfour! She’s right on time.” The hefty oak wouldn’t budge, but that wasn’t going to stop him.
“Pardon what might appear to be an intrusion,” Yavo said as he took the polite approach, “but Irk is quite right. Joan here is our esteemed guest whose scholarship was issued to her just recently. Abelard has made an exception and invited her late in the term on the basis of exceptional promise.”
Those last words must have been the golden ticket because the cranky speaker swung the door open without extra negotiation.
“Abelard has vouched for her?” he asked with could have been mistaken for tenderness, but maybe it was just professional courtesy.
I still got the sense that he was not entirely convinced because, after he asked that question, his hooked nose sniffed at me, and his harshly judgmental hazel eyes raked me up and down. Not like he was checking me out, more like he was trying to place how someone that looked and smelled like they came off the streets had found their way into the
castle. I got the feeling that I was going to have to invest in some killer body lotion or get a handle on potions as everyone here could pick up on odors like a K-9 drug-sniffer.
For all his airs, I couldn’t really blame him. While I might have been able to deal him a pretty devastating blow due to his nearly nonexistent lips, there wasn’t much else that I could pick apart. Even his prominent nose had its own dignity once I got a complete look of him. Similar to Theo, Everfour had a fondness for clothing found in the upper classes centuries ago, and while it was certainly what I’d call antique in style, it was in perfect condition. His three-piece suit seriously intimidated me with its elegance: a wine-red vest with black embroidery, spotless black slacks, and a deep grey waistcoat. He also wore what looked like a high-end scarf around his collar. I think I’d seen it in a play called ‘A Christmas Carol’ as part of a middle school field trip. Dickens, I think?
I felt like gum at the bottom of his polished shoe when I stood before him, but maybe there was hope yet. Anyone this well put together could probably give me a fighting chance at looking half-way decent. And, as Yavo and Irk pointed out, all expenses were paid, so I wouldn’t have to get stuck with some crappy loaner robe.
“Well, get in, won’t you?” Everfour demanded haughtily. “You may have slipped in by a single strand of siren’s hair, but my day runs like clockwork, and I’ve already missed my evening tea with this… delightful… little intermission.”
He took a fluid step back and gestured me into the room, revealing a combination of a swank suite and a boutique for wizards and witches. What was odd, though, was that instead of stocking yards of fabrics and textiles like any seamstress or tailor I had seen, various illustrations in ornamental frames lined his walls. I spotted bright orange flames, wispy feathers, and silvery moons. I didn’t see a single work-in-progress or any sign of a robe being pinned or hemmed for alterations. The only robes that were fully assembled seemed to belong to past students or professors since they were worn by marble statues with painstakingly carved faces.
