by Melody Rose
“So, y’know, you want real cold fruit because you’re supposed to have a picnic when it’s nice and hot out. Watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries. Basically anything cold, really.” Rebecca rattled off everything she thought made the right kind of picnic. “Like ice cream! Oh, and we’ve got some cookies, so we’d just need a replication spell for that.”
“Aye?” Chef Douglas ran two fingers down his goatee. “I’ve never heard of this ice cream before, but it sounds sweet and rich. Young Theodore won’t like that, no, he won’t.” He raised a finger. “A bard I met did tell me about a dish that sounds like what you’re talkin’ about, little lassie. Took some ice, chimera milk, and pomegranates from the underworld, mixed it all together. A bit on the sour side. Is that what ye’re lookin’ for?”
“Sounds like a sorbet, really!” Rebecca was happy to pull out another gem from her human vocabulary.
I nodded in agreement. “It does, but that sounds nice, too. Ice cream is more like what you guessed it to be. I’ll talk you through it, and we can make both the sorbet-ish kind and the one I know best. It’ll give the students options, and picnics are all about having a nice, big spread.”
“Don’t even know if ye’ll be needin’ my help, Joan. Look at that smart robe ye got on there! Never seen a mage pass a cake and ale ritual with such flyin’ colors.” He beamed with pride. “But why don’t ye lassies follow me outside? We’ll see what we cook up together!”
Chef Douglas pushed a swinging wooden door and left his serving counter to lead the way to the castle garden. As Rebecca and I picked up our plates of cookies again, I noticed that Chef scooped up a bowl full of sausages, a treat for Aurelius, if my guess was right. That whole act of being surprised to see us was just that because it sure seemed like he was prepared!
As Rebecca, Aurelius, and I followed Chef Douglas, mischievousness bubbled up inside of me. It was like playing hooky or having an off-limits bonfire in the park after dark. I bet s’mores tasted better under the stars while you were sticking it to the Man, and I was positive that a picnic would be even more awesome when it was bending Theo’s stuffy rules.
When we got to the far side of the dining hall, a towering door rose up that was so majestic, it made my heart leap up with awe. It stretched all the way up to the ceiling, and while it was as well-carved as the other doors here, this one was much more colorful. It was a beautiful forest green covered with hypnotizing circles made out of interlocking rings, and in the middle of the door was a huge knocker in the shape of a laughing old man whose hair and beard were made of leaves. It had beady black eyes that shone with an amber glow when Chef Douglas grabbed onto it and struck it against the heavy wood.
“Aye, good to lead others into the garden again, ain’t it?” Chef Douglas asked the door.
I jumped back in shock as I saw the knocker open its mouth, while Rebecca snickered at me. It gave a great, big yawn and then laughed like it had a sore throat.
“Salutations, kind faun!” the knocker announced. “Oh, this slumber has been tedious, indeed. Why put all the effort into creating me if I’ll just be locked up and neglected? Bouclier was never meant to be such a prison. Young mages should break bread with the other creatures out there!”
“And ain’t everyone in luck, then, because our newest Lumerian wants to give ye some use again.” The cook spoke to the knocker like they were a couple of old college buddies catching up over beers.
As the wackiness of it all wore off, I was stoked to hear Chef Douglas introduce me like I’d been accepted into this world. Most of my peers still treated me like one of those obnoxious tourists that run around with a selfie stick at the Met and ruin respectable places.
“Let me get a look at her. It’s been ages since I’ve been able to meet anyone new,” the knocker begged.
I shuffled my feet because I didn’t know if I would be found out as some out-of-place human. I mean, the door seemed pretty old, and now that I knew that it had a mind of its own, I didn’t know if it held onto some dated ideas about who belonged here. When I got right in front of it, I braced myself.
“Huzzah! A human!” The knocker’s eyes looked from side to side quickly to make sure it wasn’t embarrassing me. “Pardon my outburst, m’lady. I’ve never seen one of you up close before. If I weren’t so advanced in my years, I would’ve taken you as Lumerian-born. You’ve got the fire of will inside of you.”
It continued with its kind praise. “You must if you’re bold enough to take on the ire of Theodore van Brandt! He was determined to obliterate the garden since it pulses with chaos magic, the good-natured type, mind, but the mage can’t handle disorder. The Headmaster compromised and told Theodore he could seal it off and freeze the creatures running amok until he changed his mind.”
“If you ask me,” he continued with a sly smirk. “You should do the honors of giving me a good, hearty pull and cracking me open. A new chapter for this generation of students, indeed! They’ll be pleased with your courage, to be sure.”
I looked over my shoulder at Chef Douglas and Rebecca to make sure they were okay with that suggestion. They both nodded excitedly.
“It was your idea to have a picnic!” Rebecca squealed with encouragement.
“Aye, lassie,” Chef Douglas agreed. “Ye’re always lookin’ out for others, ye have yer moment here.”
All of a sudden, I felt like my whole body was pricked with tiny electric shocks. I got the sense that, just like the portal that Theo had convinced me to walk into, I was going to be hit with another entirely new experience. I was getting better at rolling with the punches, though. This was closer to going on a hot-air balloon ride for the first time instead of sky-diving off a cliff. I tightly gripped the brass handle and pulled it open with all my strength to see what surprises were in store for me.
I was floored. Even before I had stepped through, I was already met with breathtaking sights. The very first detail I noticed was a beautiful statue that had come to life as soon as I opened the door, the stoniness of her figure melting away to reveal tender skin. She stretched out her arms, cracked and rolled her shoulders, then did a little shimmy.
“Free at last!” she called out in a voice that was way deeper than I’d expect from such a slender woman.
I was transfixed as she put her hands on her lower back and twisted from side to side. She wore a toga that was way more stunning than the ones I’d seen at Halloween parties. This one was made from an expensive, lightweight fabric that was almost transparent and dusted with a rose-pink shimmer. She didn’t come across as old at all, but interestingly enough, she had tumbles of silvery grey hair.
As we all walked into the garden, Rebecca leaned in and whispered in my ear to catch me up to speed. “An oread.” I blinked at her stupidly and forced her to switch to human terms. “An oread is the guardian of mountains, a nature spirit that looks like a woman and protects her territory, but Petra liked it here so much that she got really cozy in the garden. Too bad Theo put a stop to students coming out here, so there hasn’t been a reason for her to be on duty.”
“Well, we’ll change that... I mean, look at this place!” I exclaimed and spread my arms out. “It’s beautiful! It’s basically a crime to keep it hidden away.
It was as though someone had hit the ‘pause’ button on an amazing movie and finally pressed ‘play’ again. Maybe Theo hated how rambunctious the place was and put a freezing spell on everything, but as soon as we walked in, the garden buzzed with activity. Giant red mushrooms with bright white spots swayed in the breeze, and purple peacocks with blazing yellow eyes strutted around. I even saw fairies with flower buds as hats giggle and play catch with acorns. Aurelius ran off to explore and sniff some trees, while my head spun with all the colors and playfulness. How could anyone have a bad time here? The carefree happiness was contagious!
“Quite a sight, ain’t it? But we can’t very well just stand ‘ere with our mouths open oglin’ everythin’,” Chef Douglas lightly teased. “This picnic of yer
s, how do we get started?”
“Well, the best picnics have somewhere to sit, so your food doesn’t get all dirty and messy,” Rebecca offered first.
“She’s right,” I agreed. “Usually, picnics are for a small group unless it’s a big barbeque, and then humans will go to a park with a lot of tables already set up. But I think it would be a shame to cover up the natural beauty of this place with all that. I’m thinking picnic blankets… blue and white, nothing too flashy.”
I tapped my chin with my finger as I thought. “We’re going to need a lot of them, though, and we’ll have to use a lot of energy just to create all the main and side dishes for a real picnic. Are there any creatures here that you think could help us out?”
I glanced back at the tiny fairies playing with each other, and then at other fairies that were closer to my height kneeling to talk sweetly to birds and feed them torn off pieces of dark-colored bread.
“They seem like they’d be a good bet,” I said as I gestured to the fairies cooing at the birds. Even if size had nothing to do with magic, the miniature fairies seemed like goofballs, while the taller ones looked kind and helpful. Plus, they could summon their own treats for the garden critters. “What’s the deal with them, though? How come they’re so much bigger than those?”
“Oh! Well, those teeny ones are pixies, and you really oughta watch out for them if you’ve got anything valuable on them,” Rebecca explained. “There’s so small ‘cause they love to snatch things! The other ones are just called fairies, and you can definitely trust them. They don’t have to hide anything, so they don’t mind being seen easily so they can help whoever needs it!”
“Great! Why don’t we call them over?” I asked with a smile.
“You got it!” Rebecca gave me a thumbs up and caught the fairies’ attention with a whistle and incantation. “Salut les fées! Nous aimerions votre aide! Hello, fairies! We would like your help!”
The three fairies, two brunettes and one redhead, immediately looked up with wide, excited eyes. They said their goodbyes to the birds and a couple strange but cute looking rabbits with antlers then pranced over toward us with smiles that showed off gleaming white teeth.
“Rosebud at your service!” the redhead with twinkling blue eyes chirped. “What can we help you all with?”
“I bet it must be special to have awakened us after all these years,” a fairy with the same hair color and honey-toned eyes piped up as she rushed to her winged friend’s side. “Thistle here!”
“Don’t forget me!” The green-eyed brunette giggled and snapped her fingers, sparks leaping out of them. “I’m Whimsy, and I refuse to watch without making myself useful.”
Well, I guessed I didn’t have to worry about a tough crowd. Before I could say hello to them, Rebecca waved giddily at the three fairies and poked my shoulder as she introduced me.
“This is my human friend, Joan, but she’s totally one of us, you see. Nothing to be afraid of. In fact, she’s the reason why the garden was reactivated today! She’s fixing to have a picnic which is one of these super fun traditions in her world.” She spoke so quickly that I could barely keep up, but the fairies seemed to understand her perfectly. “But we can’t do it without your help! So you’re on blanket duty, ladies!”
“Hm…” I consider what else we’d need. “For a good picnic, we can’t go without cups, plates, and napkins either. I think we can do without the fancy stuff today. Just some good old-fashioned paper dining ware.”
“I hear you loud and clear,” Rebecca reassured me and then scanned the garden until she spotted some short, stumpy men wearing floppy hats. They were playing what looked like checkers with brown walnuts and bright orange pine cones.
“Hey, you two! I’ve got a job for you! Listen up!” she cried out bossily, her eyes trained on her targets. One stroked his long, white beard as he looked up and noticed Rebecca.
“Whad’ya want?!” he called out irritably, not super happy about being interrupted from his game. “I was winning, ya meddlin’ mage!”
The other player took this as his opportunity to move a piece two squares over. I didn’t know the rules of chess, but he looked pretty pleased with himself. After he was done, he too gave Rebecca the stink eye. Whatever these creatures were, they seemed to take their games seriously.
“We’ve had to wait for hundred’sa moons to get in ta the thick of this game again, ya interloper!” he grunted rudely.
“Shut your trap, you moody gnomes!” Rebecca cocked her hip to the side and wagged her finger with a mean mug. The girl was a real chameleon. Even though she didn’t have their exact same accent, she had a knack for picking up the lingo and attitudes of others. “I bet you haven’t eaten all those years either, so listen up, because we’ve got a proposition for you!”
That certainly seemed to have gotten the gnomes’ attention, so Rebecca softened a bit. “We’ll make it worth your while, I’m serious. I’m talking potato salad, applesauce, a bunch of berries. Maybe even a bottle of gin, if you’re lucky, but only Chef Douglas would be able to do that for you, and he won’t unless you help us out!”
The gnomes exchanged looks, shrugged, and then wiped the frowns off their faces. They scuttled over toward us like wobbling crabs and looked up at us curiously. I finally realized that I’d seen plaster versions of them on one of the old ladies’ yards in my old neighborhood. They were much grumpier in reality, but the idea of food and alcohol seemed to cheer them up.
“Alright, alright,” the one wearing the green hat piped up. “Whad’ya want from us?”
“Well, we’re having an outdoor feast, but it’s super chill. Er, informal. You don’t have to worry about any of the higher level spells, and you’ll still have a ton of energy left for your game, so don’t get all twisted up,” Rebecca explained like a well-trained restaurant manager, really sure of herself. “You two just have to make a bunch of these, so everyone has something for their food and drinks. Here, I’ll make it easy for you and give you the template.”
She set her platter of cookies down on a flat boulder, shot a nasty look at the pixies to warn them not to even think about snatching one of her treats, and leaned her broom against a tree to free up her hands. Rebecca then snapped her fingers, and a stack of floral-patterned paper cups carrying an assortment of plastic spoons and forks appeared in one of her hands. In her other, extended palm up, balanced a small tower of paper plates and napkins.
“There you go. Just make enough for all of Bouclier’s students, and we’ll make sure to set aside all the lunch you need, ‘kay?” Rebecca handed the picnic goods off to the gnomes, then patted both their hat-topped heads and actually got genuine smiles out of the two.
“Good work!” I congratulated Rebecca for all her help. “Are we forgetting anything before Chef Douglas and I get started with the main show?”
“Not much,” Rebecca thought. “You two can get started now, and I’ll take care of the last step. These pixies have been eyeing our cookies the whole time we’ve been here, so why don’t you just set yours down, and I’ll give them something to chew on?”
She then laid the back of her hand on her forehead with all the drama of an old-timey actress. “Oh, no! I would be so disappointed if any pesky pixies swiped these insanely delicious cookies of mine! Absolutely devastated!”
Just then, tiny doors at the bottom of all the garden’s tree stumps fling open. Flocks of pixies flew out and giggled mischievously, really pleased with the idea of ruining someone’s day by stealing treats. They circled our cookies like a bunch of vultures, but that’s when Rebecca intervened.
“Protège mes créations!” she shouted out powerfully. “Protect my creations!”
Her spell conjured up a glass dome that covered the boulder and our cookies. That didn’t seem to stop the pixies, though, because they pummeled the transparent shield with all that they had in them. When they didn’t break through, they squealed angrily because they didn’t get their way.
Rebecca alm
ost keeled over with laughter and clutched her stomach. “You really thought you were going to pull one over me? Fat chance!” She shook her head as her eyes had teared up, but after a moment, she managed to make a straight face. “Okay, look. I’m not that evil. You can have some cookies. Eventually! But you’re gonna have to cooperate. I need your help with a replication spell, and after you’ve finished with that, you can eat yourself silly. I mean, how long has it been since you’ve all satisfied your sweet tooth?”
The pixies chirped among themselves like a bunch of baby birds hopped up on helium. I couldn’t really make out what they were saying, but it looked like they were putting the matter up to a vote. As though they were part of a synchronized dance, they all nodded at once, and then one pixie floated right up to Rebecca’s face to make its voice heard. I guessed that was the leader, and I leaned in to eavesdrop.
“Alright, you’ve got a deal, you damn sneaky mage! I respect a good trick when I see one,” the pixie reluctantly admitted. “But if you get too bold and deceive us, we’ll make you pay! There are scores of us and only three of you, so don’t be stupid.”
I had to keep from laughing as the pixie shook its fist as a threat. I guessed it wasn’t counting Aurelius because he blended in with the scenery and looked like just another magical beast hopping around. Still, there was a whole lot of them, and maybe they could attack us all like a scourge of mosquitoes.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Rebecca nodded like a soldier receiving an order from a drill sergeant. Either she was intimidated by the pixie, or she put on a good show of it. “Alright, let’s get replicating! Joan, we’ve all got it from here, so you and Chef work your magic! This is gonna be awesome!”
“Alright!” I clapped and turned to Chef Douglas. It just dawned on me how ambitious it was to make a full-on picnic for the entire academy. Well, at least I had the best cook in all of Bouclier by my side. “So, as Rebecca said, we want a lot of cold dishes because my people usually have picnics on the sunniest days of the year.”
