“Only one boat out on the water, too. All the fish will be ours.” He set the coffees down on the wood. “All of them,” he smiled.
I lifted up a container. “And I brought worms.”
He sat down and swung his legs over the end of the pier. “You sure know how to turn a guy on.”
Seth made me laugh. When he smiled, the sides of his lips curled up, exposing a thin line of his gums. Sometimes, his tongue slit through his teeth, and I pictured kissing him. I thread the worm through my hook and cast my line out.
“How long have you been fishing?”
“My dad used to take me in his little fishing boat. Every Sunday, my mom and my brother Perry went to church, and my dad took me fishing. He said God didn’t require him to be in a brick and mortar church, as long as he worshiped. We spent at least two or three hours out on the lake every Sunday morning. Sometimes, he told me stories about when he was a kid, other times, he just sat with his fishing pole in the water, waiting for a nibble, no words ever leaving his mouth.” I reeled my line back in, and cast it out again. “I miss him. I visit him every Sunday. I plan on going to see him later.”
“Does he live around here?”
I realized I hadn’t yet told Seth about my dad. “Ah, yeah. The cemetery up the road.”
“I’m sorry, Ally.”
I shrugged, used to people saying those words. They could never be as sorry as me. “So, you don’t fish, huh?” I loved my dad, but didn’t want his death to be the topic of our conversation.
Seth stopped looking at me and cast his line out. “I went once or twice, way back in middle school. My uncle took me, I think. Since I was so young, I didn’t find it quiet and reflective like you do. I remember the trip as much too long and far too boring.”
“Hope I don’t bore you to death.” A small smile peeked out.
He pulled his line back in and set the pole on the pier, turning to me. I kept my eyes on the water, until he touched my shoulder. I turned my head and he didn’t speak. Instead, his lips crashed into mine, the full force of his tongue leading its way into my mouth. Coffee and sweet cinnamon tickled my tongue, and I wanted to drink it in until it consumed me. We remained interlocked for at least a full minute as his hand rubbed my back, and my body tingled. We broke free from each other, my hands still on the fishing pole. “It’s not boring when I’m with you.”
As in perfect timing, my rod started shaking. “I’ve got one!” I yelled, hopping up and interrupting our moment. I yanked on my pole as I turned the knob to pull the line up. The line pulled back up easily with a small fish hooked on the other end. I set my pole down, grabbed a hold of the slimy fish, and unhooked it from the line. Rows of dark spots offset his olive color. “Got myself a walleye here,” I explained. I turned the fish toward me, and Seth cringed as I held and pretended to give it a kiss. “Have a great day, buddy.” I smiled at Seth. “Wanna hold it?”
He waved his hands and I laughed. I took the cake as a wuss at the rock climbing wall, but he refused to touch a measly fish. I loved it. I tossed the fish back into the water, and it disappeared.
I put some more bait on my pole and sat back down. I needed to think of how to bring up his odd conversation with Mike. Flat out asking about the cache may be too direct, and I didn’t want to upset him. “How long have you and Mike been friends?” I started.
“Mike?” He reeled his line back in, and then placed the rod on the pier. “Let me think,” he said as he rubbed his hands together. “Six years, maybe?”
“I’ve known my best friend Chelsea about the same amount. She works at the bank with me.”
“Can’t wait to meet her.”
If he couldn’t wait to meet a friend of mine, chances were, he planned on sticking around a bit. Good. I wanted him to. “She’s the pregnant friend I told you about. Knocked up by a guy that isn’t her boyfriend.” I tugged the line a little. “Despite what she thinks.”
Seth leaned back on his hands. “Ah, she’s a little naive, huh?”
Naive. That probably was the best way to describe her. “I think when she first met Daniel, she had no idea he had a girlfriend. Probably about two months or so into their relationship she found out.”
“And she stayed with him?”
“Yep,” I said as I popped the “P” at the end of the word. “I think it’s been two years now.”
“Two years?” Seth darted up from his position. “Wow. That’s … I don’t know what that is.”
“Stupid. You can say it.”
“Okay, stupid. And she’s pregnant?”
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
Leaning back again, Seth remarked, “I’m not even sure I know what that means.”
Okay, our conversation moved along nicely, but I needed to find a way to fit something in about his ex. “I never quite made it to the alter. But you’re divorced, huh? How long were you married?” I busted out, hoping this would be gentle enough to pry for the information.
He remained back on his hands for a moment before sitting back up, picking up his rod again, and casting it out. “Almost two and a half years. Divorced about the same.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “The divorce took a lot longer than I expected, so of those years we were married, we were only probably together for half that.”
His somber stare reacted a tinge of jealousy inside of me. For a marriage that ended so long ago, obvious pain presented itself in his face.
“Things didn’t end on good terms?”
“The circumstances were unique, but we’re still friends.”
“Oh.” Still friends with his ex-wife? Someone he slept with, said the words “I love you” to, and pledged to spend his entire life with. I imagined what she looked like. Probably some hot, long legged hair stylist or something, always looking top notch. It nagged at me to ask who ended their marriage, and why. His face gave it away, his usual smile now lost and a clenched jaw taking its place.
Seth put the rod next to him. “There’s nothing to worry about, if that’s what you’re thinking. She’s my ex-wife, and while we’re friends, good friends, some things are best not revisited. The cache Mike mentioned, it’s out there. One day, you’ll find it, or I’ll take you to search for it. It doesn’t affect things with us, though, Ally. Let’s just move on.” His eyes darted between mine. “Please.”
“Okay,” I reluctantly agreed. “But, I do want to ask you something else.”
His nose crunched up in fear of what I might say next. “What?”
“Can I tour the bed and breakfast?”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
We managed to bypass Seth’s sister in the lobby after we finished fishing. She made her dislike for me quite obvious, even having only met me briefly two other times. Seth held my hand as he raced me through the hallways, pointing out each room quickly as we ran past it - the Jane Austen Room, the Ernest Hemingway Room, until we reached his room, without a theme, unless “Seth’s room” qualified as a theme.
He opened the door and I ran in, and he slammed the door behind me, taking me in his arms. I couldn’t recall the last time I wanted someone so badly, even Josh when he asked me to marry him. Seth’s lips made me feel like a fan girl being kissed by my favorite boy band member (Harry Styles, if you didn’t already figure out the obvious). His hands pressed against my back, pulling me closer and closer to him until space ceased to exist between us. I didn’t even pay attention to the decor in the room as I fell onto his bed, and he laid down on top of me, cradling my head between his hands. I pushed my pelvis against his, and he made it apparent how much he wanted me, too. I struggled to breathe as he pushed his lips onto mine, down to my neck, and finally I lifted myself up and tore my shirt over my head, exposing my cleavage pushing through my lacy bra. Yeah, I prepared.
Seth buried his face between my breasts, kissing and sucking as I grabbed his hair with my fingers, and wrapped my right leg around him. God, I wanted this. He started kissing down my stomach, and pulled at the button on my shorts. He tr
aced the button with his finger, taking entirely too long to rip them off my body. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Do you need me to take them off?” I reached down to unbutton them for him, and he pulled his hand away.
“No. It’s not that.” He turned his head, making it impossible to view my reaction, as he sat up and said five words every girl loved to hear. “I don’t think we should.”
“Excuse me?” I pulled at my ear in case they were clogged because this gorgeous man didn’t just race me to his bedroom, start ravishing me, and then flat out refuse to screw me. No fricking way. “You don’t want to?” The bulge in his pants pressed up against me seconds ago sure said something different.
“It’s not that.” This time he made eye contact. Well, rather he focused on my boobs which now popped completely out of my bra. “I want this more than you can imagine.”
I pulled my bra cups back over and put my shirt back on. Seth wasn’t getting a show for free. “Then what could it possibly be? Jumping off me the second you’re about to take my shorts off doesn’t exactly say you want me.”
“It’s complicated, Ally.”
“It’s always complicated. I like you and you like me. There’s no complication between us.” My God I was almost thirty-years-old. I thought I left the drama back in high school.
Seth stood from the bed and straightened his shirt, and ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to fix the mess I caused in our too short-lived passionate moment. “It’s not that easy. I’m ….”
“What? Dating someone else? Impotent? Not attracted to me?” I put my hands on my hips. “Are you gay?” I didn’t know how else to explain any of this. With my luck, though, the last thing I would be is surprised. These things never worked out for me.
“Not ready.”
Not ready. Okay. I could work with that. “Can you explain a little more here, please? You need us to go on some more dates first? You’re out of condoms?” Please not the last one. He kept shaking his head, and I racked my brain with reasons. Then it came to me. “Oh, no. Wait. Are you a virgin? Did you get divorced because you couldn’t … consummate the marriage? It’s okay if you are. We all were at some point.” What the hell did I walk into? And what was I saying?
“No. I consummated all right.” He waved his hands in the air in annoyance, anger and self-defense. “Like I said, it’s -”
“Don’t say complicated.”
“Complex.”
I wanted to stomp my foot on the floor and scream. “Different word for complicated.”
He scooted to the end of the bed. God, we got so close to sex. In thirty more seconds, we would have been rolling around in his sheets, having the time of our lives. Instead, we sat on opposite sides of the bed. “I’m not sure I’m ready to be involved.”
Ally Couper, relationship loser. Josh didn’t want to be with only me - he wanted everyone. And Seth, he didn’t want me either. “Fine. I’m used to this. My ex-fiance wanted his freedom, too. I’m not down with that, but I’m at least glad you decided to be honest with me.” I stood up and headed for the door. “Enjoy all your women.” What was it about me that men didn’t want to be faithful to me and me alone?
“Wait, Ally. I think you completely misunderstood me.”
“What’s there to misunderstand?” My hand rested on the doorknob, and I prepared to bolt out of the room. Seth took me for a total idiot. When he came to the bank and told me he wasn’t with Alyssa, he might not have been lying. More than likely, he omitted the information he not only was involved with Alyssa, but had a slew of other women he slept with on a regular basis. I jumped into something with Josh 2.0. “When guys don’t want to be in a relationship, it typically means they want to screw everyone they possibly can. I’m telling you I’m not down for that. I, unlike my best friend, am not happy being a booty call. So, don’t call me. It’s been fun. Or it hasn’t.” The knob turned in my hand and I let out a huff. “Whatever. I don’t really care.”
Before I opened the door all the way, he slammed it shut, turned me around, and placed his hands on my cheeks. “I like you. A lot. I don’t want to ‘screw everyone I possibly can.’ His lips flattened against mine, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. After his lips left mine, I licked them, tasting him. “I want you more than you can ever imagine.”
“What’s the problem, then?” I whispered, lightheaded from his touch.
His hands moved off my cheeks, and he took my hands in his. “My marriage ended quite a while ago, but Alyssa is the only girl I’ve ever … been with.”
Wow. Of all the possible reasons to stop ripping our clothes off one another, this one I didn’t expect. “Are you saving yourself for marriage? A born-again virgin?” I could handle that, I guess. We kind of coasted along in the same boat. Besides Josh, my list consisted of one other guy from my first year of college. Josh and I split only a few months ago, and I hadn’t had sex since. Of course I never had the opportunity. Still, I could manage the withdrawal symptoms a little longer.
He started to laugh. “No. I’m just not ready to add sex into the mix quite yet. It can get -”
I released my hand and pointed my finger in his face. “If you say complicated, I’m going to kill you.”
Grabbing my finger, he said, “Messy,” and kissed me again.
“We can do … other things,” I suggested.
His muscles tightened. “I don’t know if I can do only ‘other things’ with you.”
An interesting way to compliment me, I guess. “I’m willing to try.” Did I say that? Seth was hot. Steaming hot. I wanted that body something fierce, and he made it clear that wouldn’t be a reality for some time.
He walked over to a window I hadn’t even noticed before, pulled the curtain aside and gazed out. “Ally, I want to try, too, but it’s not fair to you if I can’t give my all.”
“Who said giving your all included sex? I not only had sex with my ex, but I gave him everything, and look what happened. I don’t know what caused trouble in your marriage, but obviously you’re still dealing with it. Maybe, just maybe, no sex is the key to a lasting relationship.” Those words didn’t come out of my mouth. I loved sex. But, as much as I now despised the word, sex complicated things. This thing with Seth, whatever it was, I didn’t want it to be complicated. If I had any chance with him, I needed to be open to trying anything, even if trying anything meant doing nothing.
Seth moved the curtain back and turned to me. “Do you really think that is something you can do?” He took a step closer.
“I'm willing to try.” I took a step closer to him.
“So you're telling me,” he took another step, and then another, “that you’re willing to refrain from all pleasure I could give you.”
I liked how he tested me and pushed my limits. Not only here, either. Who would’ve thought I’d rock climb? Seth gave me a confidence I didn’t know I had. For someone who enjoyed adventure, he proved there was more out there for me.
We met halfway across the room. I pressed my hand to his chest, his heart racing as rapidly as mine. “I can't guarantee that upon the touch of your lips, I won’t want to shove you onto the bed and have dirty sex with you. And I can't guarantee that I won't try my very best to seduce you. What I can guarantee is every moment I'm with you, I'm going to want you, and every moment we’re apart, I’m going to go crazy thinking about you.” I pressed my lips against his and he let out a small moan. “Are you going to be able to resist me?”
“I sure as hell am gonna try, as much as I know don't want to.” He sucked on my bottom lip and every part of my body throbbed with pleasure.
“Are you absolutely positive you don't want to do other things? I understand how difficult it is, but something is better than nothing, and I'm sure us pleasuring each other is better than pleasuring ourselves.”
Seth ran his hands around my back and up my sides until both my breasts filled his hands. His eyes met mine, seething with desperation and obvious desire as he pulled my shirt down an
d started where we left off. After that, we took turns exploring each other’s bodies until we were just as satisfied as though we had made love. A relationship without any sex? Sure. I could do that.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Monday morning, as usual, I found myself at the bank not thrilled to be taking on another day at my dead end job. I either needed to earn the promotion, or find another job, neither a simple task. I graduated with a business degree, but where the heck did it get me? My high school counselors told me a bachelor’s degree in business offered plenty of opportunities, but I only managed to secure a teller position at the bank with the expensive piece of paper. I applied for a lot of different things, but most wanted experience, and as a newcomer to the working class, I lacked any. How did anyone gain experience if no one offered an opportunity to do so? And I refused to take a data entry job just to get my foot in the door somewhere. Working at a bank seemed to be the best option, but Daryl made it impossible. I considered the possibility he didn’t like me, or I gave him the impression I wasn’t qualified. I supposed since Daryl had been branch manager practically since I started, he had no ambition to move forward. His absence of desire to improve himself and move forward in his career shouldn’t halt mine. Sure, I probably could get a teller job at another bank, but doing so gained me a position lowest on the totem pole, (even though I still ranked at the bottom in my current job), but it also meant starting completely over with a different group of people, only having to prove myself once more.
I needed coffee and lots of it. Black with no cream or sugar - straight up caffeine. After the heavy make out session with Seth, (and boy, heavy was the PG way to describe it), he managed to finagle the entire day off from his sister, Kate, who gave me the stink eye the entire time I stood next to him, allowing us the chance to go geocaching. We managed to find eight. The most fun one we found was located by a creek, stuck underneath the bridge with a fish magnet. It reminded me of something my dad would have done and, since Seth and I went fishing in the morning, it seemed to fit our day.
Caching In Page 9
