by BJ Harvey
By BJ Harvey
* * * *
Lost in Distraction
Copyright © 2013 by BJ Harvey
Formatting by JTFormatting
To my little family
You make me want to be the best I can possibly be
&
Kelsie, Cris & Nikki
For helping me believe that this could happen
Prologue
His blue eyes haunted me.
Every day they would haunt me. My morning, my day, my night, my dreams...those baby blues tormented me.
It has been five days since he left. Five of the longest days in my life.
He was right when he said I would never be the same, that I would never forget him. The way he could reach in and touch my soul with a single glance, an eyebrow quirk, or a smirk with that delectable mouth.
It was unfair that he approached me. He wormed his way into my cold, unforgiving heart and made it warm again. His appearance in my life made the sun rise and fall in my dark world, but now I was back in total darkness.
He disappeared without a trace, without a single word. One night I went to sleep in his arms in our bed, our cocoon, our sanctuary. The next morning I woke alone and unsure.
Where was he?
Why he had gone?
Why was his phone disconnected?
He caught my attention the moment our eyes met. His ice-blue eyes pierced my heart from across the room.
My life as I knew it changed the day that I met Brax. I’d never felt such love, my body had never felt such satisfaction, my soul had never felt such passion, and my life had never been so full.
Now he’s gone and my heart has never felt so broken.
When you had no hope, then had hope reborn, and then all of that hope disappears within a moment...where do you go?
Where do you go from there?
The moment I lost her forever was the moment I got in that car.
I knew in that millisecond that I would lose her, but I had no choice. My soul mate, my sole reason for being, my Elise. I knew there was nothing I could do that would make it right with her again.
It took everything I had to heal her the first time, to mold her back into the brilliant, radiant light she deserved to be. When I saw her photo I had to know her, had to get inside those gorgeous green eyes.
Knowing that I am the one who shattered her this time is breaking my resolve to stay away.
Knowing that my leaving was the end of the light and the return of the dark in her life feels like a knife being driven into my heart.
If only I could explain that I had no choice. Explain how they told me she would be safe if I left her.
If only I’d believed in us enough to stay.
I would have laid it all out for her if it meant she would stay untouched and unaware of the truth. Because if she knew the truth, the real reason why I was gone and why I even came into her life in the first place, life would not be worth living.
For all of us.
For them.
For me.
And especially for her.
Chapter One
Eight months earlier
Today is my first day of college. The first day of my new adult life.
You finish high school and think that you’ve hit the big time when really all you’ve done is finished one stage of your life so you can move on and start the next. Usually it’s a move sideways instead of forwards and sometimes backwards if you’re really unlucky. But sometimes you’re just standing still, even when you feel like you’re moving ahead, and it is really everyone else around you who is moving.
I’ve had this feeling of being at a standstill since I was sixteen. The day my parents and only sister were killed. It has taken three years, but I can now talk about it. If someone asks about my family, I can turn around and tell them that a stranger broke into my home when I was away at camp and shot my family dead. I often hear gasps or muttered apologies. Better yet, I sometimes get tears and awkward hugs from strangers who don’t know me.
I understand it should be upsetting, and it was for a while, but now I’m just numb. My feelings ran dry the day I came home to a house surrounded by yellow police tape and a guarded door.
I shut down.
I’ve simply been a vessel since then, an empty person ambling through life doing everything that was expected of me. I’ve learned that I don’t need hope and that I don’t need love. The only thing I need is to focus on putting one foot in front of the other so I can get through each day.
After the murders, I withdrew into myself. I stayed with Uncle Harry and his wife because I had no other family nearby and as my godparents, they were the next best thing. Life as I knew it died with my parents and sister.
The funeral was a highly publicized affair. I suppose that when a billionaire entrepreneur, his beautiful former model wife, and their ten year old daughter are brutally murdered, it is national news. But when the funeral was over and the search for the killer ran cold, the media went off to hunt the next big story and the people who had offered their sympathy soon returned to their own busy lives, forgetting about me. That left me with Uncle Harry and Sylvia in their huge empty mansion. Uncle Harry was unable to have children so he was never sure how to handle me. Sylvia, however, was always trying to help me and by the time I left for college, we were very close.
When I returned to school, most people didn’t know how to treat me. Some would look at me with pity, some would snigger at the popular girl turned orphan and some were opportunists who used what happened to try and bring me down a peg or two.
Unable to deal with the gamut of emotions I was facing, I rebelled against Uncle Harry and Aunt Sylvie. I stayed out late, drank and tried everything I could to make myself feel something, anything. I was emotionally numb and refused all the professional help that Harry and Sylvia offered me. In my mind, I didn’t need a therapist. I just needed something to make me feel again. Something, or someone, to make me feel alive. I hung out with the wrong crowd and went to college parties, waking up in many different beds with no recollection of the night before.
I was on a path to self-destruction with no end in sight.
One person was able to snap me out of my rut. She was a girl from school that had always been a loner, but for some reason felt the need to connect with me after the murders. Her name was Katie Jamieson and she had also experienced the loss of her family. Her parents had been killed in a car accident when she was fourteen and she had been in the crash with them, but survived.
When she saw my life spiraling out of control, she placed a letter in my locker. She didn’t offer any sympathy, but instead offered someone to talk to, someone who had been through a similar situation. Looking back, I can now say that Katie was one of the most influential people in my life. We weren’t friends for very long, but just being able to talk to someone else about what I was feeling, or not feeling as the case may have been, was exactly what I needed. She was a year ahead of me, so at the beginning of my senior year she moved to London to study literature and I was suddenly alone again.
I graduated from high school and moved across the country to the East Coast to study economics and business. I did what was expected of me. I had my father’s business to run after I finished my degree, a multi-billion dollar industry that he built from scratch.
But what is the point of having money when you feel completely numb to the world around you?
Have you ever had no hope, no love, no day, no night and a feeling that you’re just existing?
Welcome to my life.
This morning I have an economics lecture up first. I walk into a room full of wide-eyed newbies who are all excited and chatting away to each other. I sit down in the middle of the l
ecture hall, one seat in from the aisle, hoping to just blend in with the crowd. By the time the professor walks in almost everybody is seated and ready. He proceeds to introduce himself, then launches into an explanation about the world of economics.
About five minutes into his spiel the door opens and a late student rushes in, apologizing profusely to the professor who waves him off and directs him to find a seat. I look around the lecture hall and I realize the only seat not taken is the one right next to me and the man who is running late is heading my way.
So much for getting through unnoticed.
My new assignment has me worried.
I’ve been assigned to an heiress of a multi-billion dollar company whose family was murdered just over three years ago. It’s a tricky situation. We know she is in danger, but have no firm evidence as to what the threat is or where it is coming from. In any case she needs protecting and I’ve been chosen to do it, but she can never know this.
In this business, knowledge is dangerous. It can get you killed, kidnapped, or you can simply disappear. I’ve seen it happen on more than one occasion. One day you’re talking to them and the next they’re gone without a trace.
This type of job is nothing new to me, but this case is different and the difference is Elise. I said yes as soon as I saw her photo. Her deep green eyes stared out at me, absent of any spark or life. It was as if her life-force had been extinguished and I was compelled to relight it. She was gorgeous, a rare natural beauty with smooth tanned skin and beautiful long brown hair.
The file information I was given confirmed that her father, Benjamin Halliwell, was a self-made billionaire with a multi-billion dollar empire that dominated the West Coast market at its peak. After the high profile murders of Benjamin, his wife Emily and their youngest daughter Paige, the business took a hit as investor confidence plummeted. The business returned to profitability, but when Elise was named the sole heir and 60% shareholder in the company, investors got nervous again. The shareholding is being held in trust until her twentieth birthday, which is eight months away.
From all reports she doesn’t flash her wealth around and isn’t your typical heiress in any way, shape or form. Our intel even suggested that she doesn’t have a clue as to the true extent of her wealth. All she knows is that she has a business to take over when she finishes college.
I have a feeling that as soon as I get close to Elise, I won’t be able to stay away. This is a problem, a conflict of interest if you will, but I can’t stop now. If she needs to be saved, even if it is only from herself, I’ll be the one to do it.
As it happens, I’m running late for my first day. My alarm didn’t go off, the hot water ran out, and my car didn’t start, but I manage to make it to my first class only five minutes late. After apologizing to the professor, I turn and look for a spare seat. As luck would have it, it is right next to Elise.
Perfect timing.
I try to contain my wonder at seeing her in person. Seeing her bright green eyes, I know I’m definitely in trouble now. The overwhelming urge to protect her hits me. I’ve never had a job feel so personal before and right now I’d do it for free. It feels like something I was born to do, like I am supposed to be here with her.
I remember when I originally looked through the file. I was saddened by the fact that she had no close family and nobody looking after her. All she has is herself and a company that, from all accounts, she has shown no interest in. Now there is a threat to her safety due to her inheritance of that company. My job is to keep it that way and keep her safe.
Making my way to my seat, I take the opportunity to look at her. Her long brown hair curls at the ends, right at the small of her waist. She has a nice slim frame with curves in all the right places. I can see that she dresses well. Not flashy or revealing, but feminine with a touch of class. She’s close to perfection.
Damn, this is not helping me retain my professionalism.
I slide into the seat beside her and she nods politely in my direction, then returns her focus to the professor. I can tell by her demeanor that she is trying to blend in so people won’t notice her. I’m thinking that this job, and getting close enough to gain her trust, may end up being a bit of a challenge. I’ve always been one to thrive in the face of adversity.
This could be good, maybe even fun.
The professor continues to talk about the course structure and runs through the assignments that need to be completed, including one that is to be done in pairs. I seize the opportunity to introduce myself and lean towards her.
“Hi, I’m Braxton. Is this your first day, too?”
She sighs and looks over at me cautiously, like I’m disturbing her. “Yes,” she replies with a frown.
Feeling bold, I nudge her with my elbow which makes her glance up at me in shock. “I didn’t catch your name,” I say with a warm smile.
She looks away again and grinds her teeth together. “That’s because I didn’t give it to you.”
Now I get it. She doesn’t want to let anyone in. She really thinks she can make it through college unnoticed. Looking over at her tanned skin, gorgeous brown wavy hair and those damn green eyes, I feel lost, alive, and scared shitless.
This is going to take some work, but goddammit, for her I’m willing to try.
At the end of class, the professor hands out our first assignment and just my luck, it’s an exercise to be done in pairs. Great! Just what I need, being forced to talk to someone.
I glance at the man named Braxton sitting beside me, the one with bad time management who couldn’t even make it to his first class on time. He’s a lot taller than me, maybe 6’2 or 6’3 and definitely not fresh out of high school. His hair is a gorgeous dark brown that is slightly longer on top, but well maintained around the sides and back. He has a slight tan which tells me he must spend some time outdoors.
Moving my eyes down, I see he has slight stubble covering his jawline like he was running late this morning and forgot to shave. He's wearing a black, short sleeved shirt that shows off his nicely toned arms. Going by the deep drawl in his voice I would guess he's from Louisiana or maybe Georgia.
Lost in my musings, I hear him clear his throat to get my attention.
“Uh…so, would you like to pair up for the assignment?” he asks me. His low voice resonating through me.
Looking up at him, I’m suddenly caught in his amazing ice-blue eyes. They’re the lightest color of blue I’ve ever seen and are almost ethereal. Shaking my head slightly, I realize that he is still waiting for my answer.
“Elise. My name’s Elise, and I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to talk about the assignment with you.”
With a slight smirk, I catch him slowly scanning my body.
“I don’t think it could hurt at all, Elise.”
A gasp escapes my mouth at his outwardly flirtatious comment. Who is this guy, and why is he acting like he wants to know me intimately? I feel my cheeks heat up. Whoa, why am I blushing? I haven’t felt anything for over three years and suddenly this stranger has me feeling embarrassed? I’m supposed to be numb and broken. I have never been affected by a guy like this before. I watch the smirk on his face get bigger, almost breaking into a full on smile. I’m totally thrown by whatever the hell is happening between us and I don’t seem to be able to stop myself from reacting.
“Want to go grab a coffee and talk it over? The assignment, that is. Together, since you asked and all?” I wish I could just shut up! I pause and try to settle my breathing.
He leans in towards me, ever so slightly. “That sounds great. I know a great place down the street. Shall we go?”
He stands up in the aisle of the lecture theatre, gesturing with his arm for me to go ahead. I give a small smile and start walking towards the door. As I step past him he lightly puts his hand on the small of my back, sending a jolt through me. I don’t know what it is about this man, but he seems to have the ability to get me right where he wants me.
And that scares the hell out of m
e.
Chapter Two
I follow Braxton out of the building and we turn left towards a small café on the corner of campus. I’ve never been here before, but it seems nice and casual. No overtures of grandeur or class that you would expect at an Ivy League school. We head towards a window table with two chairs. Nice and public, I breathe a sigh of relief. I should be safe here.
He pulls out my chair for me. “Would you like a menu?”
“Just a coffee will be fine, thanks. I shouldn’t really stay too long,” I answer, secretly impressed at his chivalrous display. He quirks his head to look at me and I suddenly feel self-conscious. It’s like this guy can see right through my act and it’s rather unnerving.
With a sigh and slight tone of disappointment, he asks, “What kind of coffee would you like?”
“A vanilla latte would be great, thanks,” I respond a bit too cheerfully. He gives me a knowing smile as he turns around and makes his way to the counter.
What is with this guy? How can a total stranger have such an effect on me. That smirk of his should be outlawed because I swear it is the work of the devil. I’m sure panties drop all around campus with just that one look.
He returns a short time later with two coffees and some biscotti. “Thank you,” I murmur. After putting my mandatory three sugars in my coffee, I glance up at him expectantly.
He sighs at me again, like I’m making this hard for him or something. “So, is this your first week here?”
“Mmm hmm,” I mutter. Damn, this is a good coffee.
“How are you finding it?”
“Good, so far. It’s totally different from high school.”
Wow. I think I’ve said more in the past five minutes that I’ve said to anyone in weeks and I only met this guy an hour ago! How did he do that?
We talk solidly for the next half an hour and the conversation seems to flow easily. It’s only when he receives a phone call that I stop and realize the time. We haven’t been talking about anything specific and we definitely haven’t started on the assignment, our supposed reason for the coffee.
