“Oh, he told you about me?” the brunette wolf said perking up, “Kendrick has been so kin-”
“Kyla-” Kendrick warned, cutting her off before she could continue talking. He turned his attention to the rest of the wolves, “Give us the room. If I hear any of you said a word about this, I will have all of you punished.”
The dishes and bottles echoed as they left the room. Leaving me alone in the kitchen with Kendrick. I turned my attention to the leftover meatloaf I wanted to eat. It had been famous growing up at pack meals, there was never any left when it was my turn to eat. I couldn’t get the damn lid off. The bowl was wet with condensation and it slid out of my limb’s grasp. I snarled at it determined. I felt Kendrick come up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and opened the container effortlessly. He slid the container in the microwave and pressed some buttons until it roared to life.
“I don’t need your help,” I snarled, “I can take care of myself.”
“My wolf wants to make sure you’re fed,” Kendrick said casually, his face pressed against mine, “If memory serves, your wolf loved it when her mate fed her.”
“I have no mate,” I bit out, my heart was racing from being so close to him. Every fiber of my being wanted to turn around and rub my scent all over him. Claim him as mine. Take him back to his room and never let him leave. But I couldn’t. I had to be strong.
“You’ve had a long day, you’re hungry. We’ll talk about it once you’re settled,” he whispered in my ear. The microwave beeped and he slid the container out of the microwave and reached above me to a cupboard, he pulled a plate out and dumped the contents onto it. He reached into a drawer and got silverware. With one hand full of the plate, he wrapped his other arm around my waist and led me to the recently vacated island stools. He slid the plate in front of me and watched.
“Where’s my arm?” I asked allowing myself to dig into the plate in front of me.
“It didn’t make it in the truck with you,” he replied apologetically, “I instructed your mother to go back for it, but I don’t know if-”
I gulped over the meatloaf, biting back the anger budding inside me about my bionic arm, “I was asking about my real one, rumor is that you have it.” I held up my right arm letting the robe sleeve drop down to reveal the stump.
Kendrick’s eyes were locked on the stump. I re-focused my attention back on my plate of food. I felt his warm calloused hands touch the scar. I should have pulled away, but his touch was electric. My wolf craved it and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t too. But I couldn’t let hormones and the moon goddesses pull distract me from the reality of my situation.
He started massaging the limb and the pain from my earlier fall started to melt away. The pins and needles in my phantom limb that always lingered in the back of my mind started to fade. I wished for this. For someone else to rub my aches away, but I’d never let anyone do it. I pulled away.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, “I’m trying to... It’s so hard having my mate so close after all this time and not touch you.”
“Answer my question,” I snarled.
Kendrick’s face flushed and he pulled a chain from around his neck, dangling from it was lone claw, “I used to have more of it, but my father found it.”
I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat, “Give that to me,” my voice was a whisper but there was power behind it. Kendrick hesitated and my voice grew louder, “Give that to me now.”
He closed his eyes and brought the chain over his neck and gently set the necklace in my outstretched palm. I wanted to cry. All that was left of my right arm was a single claw. It was smaller than I thought it’d be. I set it back on the table and refocused my attention on eating.
Kendrick watched me for several minutes. His eyes flicked back to the necklace. He was twitchy. Anxious. Behind me I heard the wolves in the living room moving around. More had come in. They were whispering low. I didn’t need 10 guesses to figure out what they were talking about.
“Why did you kidnap me?” I finally asked.
“You’re my mate-” Kendrick started to say. I slammed my fork on the table.
“You couldn’t possibly be my mate,” I whispered, “My mate wouldn’t have to kidnap me to bring me back to his den.”
Kendrick head moved back as if he’d been slapped. I could sense his wolf pacing near the surface. I needed to stop talking but I couldn’t get my mouth shut, “My mate would have claimed me immediately following his first shift. My mate would have kept me safe in school and made sure my family had food to eat,” my voice was getting louder now, “My mate? My mate would have loved me even though I was a dud. He would have fought to keep me in town. My mate would have protected me.”
My eyes were dripping with tears of rage, I was shouting now, “My mate would have released the trap. My mate would have rushed me to the pack doctor saving my hand. My mate would never have watched my wolf chew her own leg off. You are not my mate. I. Have. No. Mate.”
Kendrick didn't move. He looked frozen. His wide golden eyes unwavering. His face impassive. Kendrick didn't move. He didn’t flinch. I found the fork and turned my attention back to my plate and continued eating. No point letting good food go to waste, even if I couldn’t taste it.
I was done eating before he blinked.
“I missed you, Aster.”
“Fuck you.”
19
10 years earlier
The shower would go down in my history books as the best feeling and most difficult shower of all time. Mary hadn’t been lying about the water heater being on the fritz. The shower would go from icy cold to boiling hot in seconds without me turning the knobs. As soon as I stepped into the dingy yellow porcelain tub turned dark brown as my blood, mud, and sweat washed off my skin. I rubbed my body with my left hand and felt layers and layers of dried blood wash off me. My fingernails were black underneath by the end of my shower, but I had no way to clean them.
The motel towels were blotched with orange iron stains and frayed at the edges. But they did the job. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to not having my hand. It took longer to dress; buttons were impossible so I could say goodbye to ever wearing jeans again. I dressed in the t-shirt and gym shorts I’d normally use as pajamas. I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep.
When I woke up it was still dark out. I smelled food. Warm food. Pizza. I followed my nose to the door. I was so hungry. The pizza was so close. I was at the door now. I heard a knock.
“Aster?” it was the lady from the motel, Mary, “Are you awake dear?”
I fumbled trying to open the locks and finally managed. Mary was standing at the door with a large pizza box, a donut box, and a case of juice boxes. She brushed past me and came into the room.
“I’m sorry to bother you, dear,” Mary said, “Craziest thing, I ordered a small pizza for dinner, and what do you know, they brought me a large I ate all I could of it, but it’s a deep dish meat lovers and I can’t eat that much. I also had a guest who left a dozen donuts and some fruit juice in his room after he checked out, I’m watching my figure, but I thought maybe you’d be interested in taking this off my hands.”
I nodded eagerly. I could smell the pepperoni and sausage. My wolf was salivating I didn’t realize how hungry I was until the prospect of food was real.
“I’ll just leave these on the desk,” she said, casually opening each box and cracking open a bottle of juice for me, “Call if you need anything.”
She left my room with a wave and locked the door behind her using her master key. The key had hardly clicked in the lock before I was face deep in the pizza. I’d devoured every morsel she’d left for me. It was the best tasting meal I’d ever eaten.
20
Present day
Kendrick was still staring at me. I’d finished eating a while ago, but he hadn’t moved. He also hadn’t said anything since I cursed him out. I put my plate and fork in the sink. I felt his watchful gaze all over me. I resisted the ur
ge to wash the dishes and put them away. That was my primary memory of this place. My mother’s pack duties involved cleaning the alpha house kitchen after pack gatherings. Naturally, I helped.
I wandered out to explore. Kendrick stayed close but kept his distance. The alpha house looked the same as I remembered it. Alpha Biel and his mate often hosted pack events and had been designed their home to entertain and impress. High steel lined windows jutted out toward the forest giving the house an industrial look. Despite being close to four in the morning, all the lights in the living room were on. The modern chandeliers cast a warm glow on the leather seating area surrounding the massive fireplace at the center of the room. The house was decorated for the season, a massive Douglas Fir tree stood in the corner of the room, decorated with gold and silver garland. Hundreds of presents rested beneath the tree for various pack and family members.
Pack members scattered from the room as soon as I’d entered it. They scurried back to the kitchen whispering to each other. Laughing with each other. They had their secrets again that I wasn’t in on. My wolf longed to be a part of them. To be one of them. To have a pack of wolves at her side.
“Home sweet home,” Kendrick said finally breaking the silence, “Now, I know you’re going to try to run,” he said to me, “But don’t. It’s twelve below out and the entire pack has been made aware of your arrival. You run, they’ll find you and bring you back.”
I wandered into the hallway; every pack member's house was required to have clothes pack members could dress if they were called in from a shift. The alpha house had to have one too. I opened doors in the front hallway until I found what I was looking for. I audibly sighed when I saw the selection. Sweatpants and t-shirts. Thank the moon goddess. I pulled the pants on and put the shirt on over it. No bra, but I’d survive.
Kendrick was in the hallway watching me, “You don’t have to wear those- Owen’s mate and some of the other females went out and filled my closet for you. We got your sizes from the scraps of your clothes, everything in there should fit.”
I ignored him and wandered back to the living room. From the massive windows, I could see the edges of the forest, “You don’t know your way back,” Kendrick said seeing where my eyes were going, “My pack has run these forests all their lives, they’d find you in minutes. Come on, I’m tired, I want to go back to sleep. You can fight me in the morning.”
“I’m going to my mother’s house,” I demanded, “I’m not staying with you.”
Kendrick sighed, “Aster, come on, it’s cold, you’re tired. I’m tired. Let’s go upstairs,” Kendrick held out his hand, but I refused it. I walked back to the entryway and opened the door.
Cool air rushed against my face. He was right, it was freezing. I may not know the way back to Easterville from the Alpha house, but I knew the way to my mother’s house like the back of my hand. I’d walked it alone in the dark hundreds of times growing up.
The cold asphalt sizzled when my bare skin touched it. I pulled my sleeve down over my fingers and started walking down the driveway. My mother’s house was only two miles away. It was freezing, but I’d rather lose a toe to frostbite than stay anywhere near Kendrick Biel. The further I got from him the more the mate pull began to ache deep in my spine. I couldn’t do it. I refused to go back to him. Truck headlights illuminated the path in front of me. The driveway was long sloping downhill into the town.
“Aster!” Kendrick called after me. I felt him racing toward me. I raced away. I would be so much faster in wolf form. At the thought of being a wolf, I’d become one. It was easy. It was quick. It was painless. It had never been quick or painless. I willed my wolf to lope away, dart into the woods, find my mother's house, but the traitorous bitch turned tail and raced back to Kendrick waiting arms, “That’s my girl,” he cooed. She licked his face and wagged her tail. She liked being in his arms. He lifted her easily and carried her inside the massive house.
He set the wolf down once we were across the threshold and she took off at top speed with her nose to the ground smelling everything until she was back in his room, rolling on his bed. Kendrick came in shortly after he wore a big smile watching my wolf.
“You and Aster aren’t in agreement on this, pretty girl,” he said walking over and running his fingers through the wolf’s fur. The wolf rubbed her face and neck against his hand then over his shoulder until she was rubbing her neck on his, “How long is she going to fight me on this?” he was rubbing into my wolf as much as she was him.
My wolf whined. I could feel how irritated she was at me for denying her this man for so long. She wanted his wolf. She wanted to run with her mate.
“I can’t let him out until Aster’s on board,” he told her, knowing what she wanted despite her inability to talk to him. My wolf whined again, pressing her nose to his shoulder and licking his shirt, “He wants to see you again, it’s taking all of my control to keep him from you,” my wolf started nibbling on his shirt.
“Go to sleep dear one,” he whispered petting my wolf. She didn’t want to go to sleep, she chirped at him and he giggled, “If I lay down to sleep, can I trust you to behave?” my wolf whined. Kendrick stood up and walked over to a door pulling a chain illuminating a large closet, “Aster, if you’re in there, your clothes are on the right.” Through my wolf’s eyes I saw him pull off his shirt. His entire back was covered in deep red welts. My wolf snarled low in her throat. Someone had dared hurt her mate.
“Aster,” Kendrick groaned, “I’m your mate, stop growling at me.” He thought I was the one in control of the snarl. He bent over to pull off his jeans. My wolf was still growling. She was so angry. She needed to kill something. Her back claws dug into the mattress as she prepared to pounce toward the door. She needed to hunt. She leapt and I was finally able to wrest control from her and shift mid-leap skidding across the hardwood floor in a less than graceful move.
“Rule one,” I groaned sitting up, “Never show weakness to my wolf.”
21
10 years earlier
Mary wasn’t at the desk when I brought back the keys in the morning. The man behind the desk handed me the envelope of cash and sent me on my way. I was relieved to have the money back, but I wished I could have thanked Mary.
The clock in my car read 7:30, I’d lost a day of travel, which meant I’d lose both my buffer day and my apartment hunting day. If I made no stops, I’d make it into Easterville after 5pm. It was one of those towns that everything closed by 6. My first job interview was the next day at 9:30.
I focused on the road. 498 miles to Easterville. I could do it. I made it this far. My new body companion whined, she wanted to go back to the place she’d arrived. She wanted to follow the pull. She wanted to go home. How do you tell a wolf that her pack exiled her before she even arrived? The intensity of her sadness met my own. 497 miles to Easterville.
22
Present day
Kendrick had thrown a t-shirt on in during my shift, “Were you going to attack me? I know you hate me Aster, but-”
“My wolf is a possessive bitch,” I said with an eye roll, I slid backward until I was leaned with my back against the wall. My knees and elbows hurt from my hard fall, “She saw someone hurt her new favorite toy,” I groaned rubbing my scraped knee. For the third time in 24 hours, I was naked in front of Kendrick, this had to stop happening. He was looking down at me still confused, “She saw your back. Those are some gnarly scars,” I said in explanation.
Kendrick’s eyes flew open in recognition and his face flushed, he didn’t say anything.
“Will you be a gentleman and pass me some clothes?” I asked, “I believe you said there was some on the right side.”
He was still, eyes wide, almost as if frozen in place. I grunted, managing to get myself back to my own two feet. The effort hurt. My wolf had leapt with all her power and I’d fallen to the hard ground at top speed. I brushed past him and looked to see what had been provided for me. A whole lot of button up flannel shirts, I not
ed with annoyance. No undergarments either. I sighed and pulled out a set of pajama pants with an elastic band and a long-sleeved t-shirt that was probably Kendrick’s, but I didn’t give a shit right now.
He was still frozen, I snapped my fingers in front of his face and he flinched, “What the fuck?” I asked him, “Are you stuck?”
His eyes blinked rapidly, “Sorry,” he said, his face reddening again, “Are you going to run, or can I get some sleep?”
“I need to go home,” I told him flatly, “Now.”
He sighed and wandered over to his bed, “Go ahead and try, Aster. I’m tired, I’ll find you in the morning.”
He dropped into the bed and pulled the covers over himself. The arrogant son of a bitch. I flipped him the bird, which he wouldn’t see, and left his room slamming the door on my way out.
My wolf was on edge, she wanted to hunt, to kill, I was on edge, I needed to get home. I needed to call Evan at the very least. I paced back down to the kitchen, there was a phone there. I didn’t know if the pack had long distance on the land line but at this point, I didn’t care.
The kitchen had a half dozen wolves sitting at the island talking eagerly to each other when I approached. Kyla was back, I also recognized Owen and Emily.
“Mornin’” I said casually to the group as I crossed the threshold into the kitchen. If memory serves, the phone was on the far side of the kitchen on the wall by the restaurant sized griddle. I’d have to cross the entire space in order to reach it.
From my periphery I saw the silent conversation between Owen and Emily. Emily had grown a lot since I’d last seen her. She’d been a slight thing in school, she’d filled out in the intervening years. Three years above me in school, she’d been something of a style icon for my generation of she-wolves. If Emily was seen with her hair in a braid, our hair would be in braids the next day. She still had that quiet confidence that had drawn the other girls to follow her. Her brown eyes were lit with fire as she silently argued with her mate. I wasn’t sure what Emily was trying to get Owen to do, but he seemed to be staunchly refusing.
Tooth and Claw (Kootenai Pack Book 1) Page 6
