by Holly Hood
Tucker let out a laugh. “Are you kidding?”
I laughed myself. It sounded a little odd seeing I lived by one my whole life. “Yes, I am. Ever since I was little I was afraid of the ocean. I’m not sure what caused the fear, but it’s there. So I stay away from it.” I shoved my toes in the sand. He probably thought I was a spaz.
“I’m afraid of airplanes,” he offered.
I looked him over. “You afraid of something? Wow.”
Tucker stared at his hands. “I’m afraid of you, too.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Me?”
He looked at me. My heart sped up. He leaned in as he nodded his head. I didn’t know what to do next, but I automatically turned toward him. He brought his hand to my face. “I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to kiss you since Smitty’s. I’m afraid I’m going to get myself in a mess if I keep wondering.”
I let out a breath. I pursed my lips, unsure what to do next. Was he saying he wanted to kiss me? Was I supposed to be doing something? I didn’t know. I only knew my hands were shaking and my heart was thudding inside of my chest.
Tucker gave a smile, his hand slipping away from my face now. “Did I say something wrong?”
I pushed my hair behind my ear, looking down at my feet. “The last time this happened I burnt the boy’s feet. I dropped a marshmallow right on his toes. It was a bit traumatizing, and so, I don’t know.”
Tucker grinned, taking my face in his hand again. “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” He smiled.
But there was nothing cool about it to me. I had been mortified. I never again even thought about kissing anyone for fear I would make a fool of myself again. It was a rather embarrassing way to enter the world of romance.
Karsen was my best friend and we shared everything. Karsen had many kisses in her lifetime, and some nights when she came to stay over, she would tell me all about them. She said they were magical. That your stomach overflowed with wriggling butterflies, that your mind shut off and it was as if you were in a moment with only your beating heart leading the way.
“I bet you the next time won’t be so bad,” Tucker said with a big grin on his face.
I rolled my eyes, pushing into him. He could be such the troublemaker. “I don’t think it could get any worse,” I admitted.
Tucker pushed my hair behind my ear again. “You want to make it special?”
I slowly nodded. Of course I wanted it to be special.
“Can we give it a shot?”
I swallowed hard, he was asking me. “Are you supposed to ask such a thing, doesn’t that take away from the special?”
Tucker shook his head in amusement at my theory. He came in slowly, his hand gliding up my neck and then slipping into my hair. Our lips slowly met. His were warm and soft. And Karsen was right, a million butterflies fluttered and my mind shutdown, only thinking about that moment.
Tucker leaned in more, parting my mouth with his tongue. I ran my hand down his neck to his chest, his heart speeding up as I lingered there for a moment. I followed along with his kissing doing the same.
He slowed and finally came to a stop. I wiped my mouth, my fingers frozen for a moment as I stared at him. He was a bit flushed, his eyes large and warm as he looked at me. He kissed my forehead.
“No burns,” he said, pointing down at his feet. I grinned, my body throbbing with lust. He was gorgeous and a good kisser, a deadly combination. As I bit my lip, Tucker leaned in again. I pressed my lips against his long enough to send his hand back to my hair. He was intoxicating.
Tucker took me by the arm, pulling me, wiling me to get closer. I took in a breath, really worked up, allowing him to get me in his lap. He pulled my legs, guiding me. We stopped kissing long enough for me to reposition myself.
“You’re a great kisser. Are you sure you never did this before?” Tucker asked, moving to my neck.
My heart pounded extra hard. I was straddled across his lap and nothing even mattered. Tucker knew what he was doing, and somehow, I did as well. The waves splashed behind us bringing with it a chill and tiny goosebumps rose on my skin. Tuckers hands slipped under my shirt, his fingers lightly running up my back.
“Should we stop?” I asked him, breaking away from his amazing lips. He touched a single finger to my lips, his hold tight around my waist, our bodies pressed against one another nicely.
“Why stop? We are the only ones out here right now.” He laid another kiss on my lips.
Once the contact slowed I slowly regained my conscience. I was really doing the wrong thing, I didn’t want to be in this situation, but he was making it harder to resist with each kiss. As his hands slipped forward and grazed my hip bones, a small tingle of pleasure filled my body.
“How many girls do you do this with, Tucker?”
Tucker dropped his gaze looking a bit offended. “Why does that matter?”
I swallowed. It mattered for tons of reasons. None that I wanted to say aloud, though. I kissed him again, forgetting about my thoughts. I gripped the back of Tucker’s head, leaning in to his kiss.
There was a sudden roar of engines, followed by silence. I looked up to a series of four-wheeler’s dotting the sand. Three to be exact. A tall guy jumped off the first one, his hair shaggy brown and a bit unkempt. He had a light purple scarf wrapped around his neck in an odd fashion, an olive green collared shirt with black crosses embellished on it, black gloves with no fingers and black tightly fitted jeans with a glorious looking metal belt.
He gripped the handles of his four wheeler, killing the engine. The next guy, a little thinner than the one with the scarf, hopped off of his.
I quickly removed myself from Tucker’s lap.
“What are you guys doing over here?” Tucker asked.
By the time I made it to my feet, I noticed the third person was Slade. Slade came to a stand next to the thinner one. More band mates, I told myself, and judging by their attire, they were closely in contact with the Evil Kings.
“I didn’t know Daddy owned the beach,” the thin guy said, a big smirk creeping into view. His hair was jet black and spiked in giant tuffs on different parts of his head. His eyes were dark and made even darker by the eyeliner. And honestly, it made him look that much more intense and rock-like. His arms were covered in tattoos just like Slade and the other guy.
I wondered why they showed up. And I wondered how much they had caught. I wasn’t trying for an audience. I really didn’t want anyone knowing what had taken place at all.
“Oh, you didn’t know that, Oz?” Tucker asked, crossing his arms and taking a firm stance in the sand. Oz was the spiky haired one I noted.
Slade put his arm on Oz, signaling him to cool it. Oz backed down a bit.
“I’m not here for you, Tucker.” He looked past Tucker to me. I stepped forward.
“What could you possibly need right now, Slade? Besides, Hope’s not interested in anything you have to say, right, Hope?” Tucker tapped my arm as if I was supposed to sputter out an insult.
I felt conflicted. “What did you need?” My voice came out low and timid.
“I was telling everyone about your singing. They’d like to hear it for themselves. Would you like to come hang out tomorrow night?” Slade asked. His two friends watched curiously from behind him. I was shocked Slade had the nerve to ask me out in front of Tucker.
“Oh, that’s a riot. She goes to Ashwilder, she doesn’t need anything from the Ink. Unless she’s looking to get raped and murdered,” Tucker said with a tone filled with acid and plenty of sarcasm.
Oz shot forward, taking off across the sand. I jumped in front of Tucker, stopping him in his tracks.
“All of you stop!” I yelled.
Oz stared at me, a bit confused. “You’re hanging out with Mayor Sinclair’s son. Is that the best you can do?”
I raised my eyebrows, offended. “Excuse me, I’m new here. I really don’t understand all the animosity between ya’ll.” Everyone snickered a bit at my
ya’ll. It was something that only happened when I was really agitated.
Slade pushed Oz out of the way, which was a good thing because I wasn’t sure if I should be that close to him anymore. Who was he to talk to me about my choice in friends? He didn’t even know me.
“It doesn’t matter who she wants to hang around with. I saw you at Smitty’s and figured this would be your next destination since you were with Tuck.” He stared me down. “Tomorrow I can come to your house at eight. You’ll have fun.”
Tucker let out a shocked breath. “He knows where you live?”
“Stop it, Tucker,” I warned. Beyond that, I really didn’t have any kind of argument.
“I would really like to talk to you before then. So how about you give me your number or something,” I offered.
Tucker threw up his hands. “You got to be kidding me right now,” Tucker said, walking down to the shore.
I looked at Slade. He was watching Tucker. His two friends came to stand next to him now, a bit amused.
“That was funny,” the other one said, grinning. “I’m Kidd, by the way.” He extended his gloved hand. I shook it.
“That’s an interesting name,” I said with a smile. Kidd scratched his head, agreeing with me.
Slade pulled out a black marker. He grabbed my wrist, scrawling his number with the fine tip. I watched closely at how elegant his writing was.
“Wow, your first tat, looks good on you,” Kidd joked at my graffitied wrist.
“Let’s hope this comes off,” I said, staring down at the number.
Slade pocketed the marker. “Call me. We will let you get back to frolicking on the beach with the Mayor’s son.” He gave his lip ring a quick flick and slung a leg over his four wheeler. Oz and Kidd were right behind. The three of them revved the engines, taking off in a tight line back toward the boulders.
I stared down at my wrist, his touch still lingering on my skin. Along with the ink.
Tucker sauntered back to me. He looked like a beaten puppy dog. His expression dull and his eyes avoiding me.
“Are you upset?” I questioned.
“It’s nothing, Hope.” He plopped down on the log.
It was something, I was sure of it. I carefully sat down next to him. I wasn’t sure what to say to make him feel any better, nor did I feel that I needed to try.
“It’s obviously something,” I said quietly. I stared at my feet, waiting for Tucker to open up to me.
“I don’t want to see you getting mixed up with them people. They’re misfits.”
“That sounds like something your Dad says, Tucker. You used to be friends with Slade, there’s got to be something inside of you that still thinks he is a decent guy.”
Tucker leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs. “Nope, nowhere inside me feels that way.” He stared out at the water, falling silent.
“Well, if it’s any consolation, that kiss was amazing. I’m sorry I ruined the day.” I looked down, defeated.
Tucker threw his arm around me. “You didn’t ruin anything.” He lifted my chin. “Just don’t go anywhere alone with them. You’re a good girl, I can see that, but so was Anaya.” He kissed my cheek, ending the day. He told me he needed to get me home, that he had things to get done. But I really believed the only thing he had to do was distance himself from me.
I was afraid I ruined things between Tucker and me.
Deeper meaning
I slid deeper into our bathtub, immersing myself in the steamy water. This was probably the first time I had been able to enjoy our bathroom in peace. Dad was already passed out on the couch and the boys had met up with some local kids for a bonfire.
I stared at Slade’s number on my wrist. I still hadn’t called him, and I wasn’t really sure that I planned on it. It was close to the time he had wanted to come by, and I hoped he knew to stay away until I figured out what I wanted to do.
I leaned forward, grabbing my washcloth from the side of the tub. Lathering it with soap, I swiped the number expecting it to fade away. It didn’t. I swiped again, nothing.
“Are you kidding me?” I grimaced. I sat up in the tub, the water shifting back and forth around me, and stared around the bathroom for something rougher.
Dad’s foot stone came into view.
I choked down the thought of foot fungus and began scrubbing away at my wrist. It only proved painful, leaving his seven digits etched in my flesh with a nice red welt.
I sank under water, letting out a loud scream, half gagging on the bubbles. I shot back up, livid now. He had branded me. He might as well have dragged me to a tattoo shop and forced me.
Never in my life did I even want to get a tattoo, I didn’t like the permanence of such a thing. My skin was something I had to live with forever. And Slade had gone ahead and branded me. What was he, some kind of sadist? Some sick, twisted boy that did what he wanted with girls? Did he sit at home deciding on marking his territory via pen ink?
I hopped out of the tub, water pooling at my feet. I grabbed the towel from the back of the door, wrapping myself snugly before I escaped into the hallway. Once in my room I dropped the towel on the floor, turning and locking the door just in case Elliot or Easton came back and decided to give their friends a free peep show.
Rifling through my dresser I pulled out a pair of lacy boy-cut underwear. Usually I was fine with cotton, but after being around Tucker, I wanted to always be prepared. I squeezed my favorite Victoria’s Secret lotion in my palm, rubbing my hands together, and then worked down each leg.
Finally, I faced my mirror, really taking my body in. I guessed I wasn’t that bad. Secretly, Karsen and I had looked at some of her dad’s porn magazines and I just felt a bit lacking in some departments. But there wasn’t anything I could do to change much about my body. Unless I had a boat load of cash.
It was better than the opposite, I thought, sighing. I could be worrying about how to lose weight and complaining how bad my back was killing me. Maybe I needed to be happy with what I had and forget about what I didn’t.
I slipped my bra on, fidgeting with the straps in the mirror. Suddenly there was a rattling at my window. I dropped to my knees, letting out a scream, then decided most killers didn’t knock, and stood back up. It was Slade. And I was blushing in embarrassment.
I ran for my robe, tying it securely around my waist before I opened up my window. “I thought I said I would call you,” I whispered.
He climbed through the window and then rested against it.
“Nice panties.” He didn’t smile, just looked me up and down as if the memory of my bra and underwear was enough for him.
“I told you I would call you. There were some things we needed to talk about first,” I explained.
Slade walked around my room, fingering my jewelry, touching my books and pictures on the wall. He ignored me, putting me on edge.
“Slade, I told you I would call you,” I said again, a little louder in case he wasn’t hearing me.
He lifted a picture of me and my mom up, turning it to me. “Is this your mom?” I nodded, taking the picture from him. “You look a lot like her, what is she?”
I sighed. “She’s French, Korean and Irish.”
“It makes you very unique. My dad’s father was French.” He moved back across the room.
I crossed my arms. Was there a point to his story? I sat down on my bed, it let out a squeak.
“Ooh, probably hard to get away with much in that bed, huh?” He was so cool when he joked with me, I almost wasn’t sure he was joking.
“Can we talk?” I patted the bed. Slade eyed it carefully, opting for my computer chair. He slid it over to my bed, sitting in front of me, his black shirt falling away from his body as he rested his arms against his legs. I looked away from his chest muscles.
“I was really hoping you would want to go sing with us.” He rubbed his hands together, looking at me for an answer.
“I have been saying for five minutes now that I want to talk to yo
u first, but for some reason you don’t want to hear anything I have to say. It’s rather annoying.” I huffed.
Slade sat up, caressing his lip ring with his tongue as he watched me sitting helplessly on the bed. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I had to say something.
“I’ve been informed of some, uh… things. And I just want to get your side of things before I jump to conclusions. Because I’m a young girl and it’s the smart thing to do.” It sounded ridiculous and something my parent’s would say, but it was all I had.
“You’re talking about Tucker. And you’re referring to Anaya. You think I murdered her.”
I fidgeted in my skin. I wasn’t expecting him to just come right out and say it. I forced a nod, staying completely still. If he was a killer it was his perfect opportunity to slash me to pieces or even rape me, and this made me even more nervous. My nerves slowly turned to fear and then my fear turned to tears. I burst into a soft sob, covering my face as I cried.
Slade stood up, backing away from me. “If this is a bad time I’ll just leave. I wasn’t trying to make you cry.”
I wiped at my eyes, calming a little now that he was backing off rather than attacking. “I don’t know what to think. I met you before I met anybody here and I know what I think about you. But now my head is filled with doubts and I am a blithering idiot. What is wrong with me?” I threw a hand through my hair feeling like a nut job.
Slade finally sat back down. “I didn’t murder anybody. Tucker needs to keep his mouth shut before he ends up regretting it. He thinks being the Mayor’s son gives him special privileges to be a fucking asshole,” Slade remarked, his agitation showing. But it didn’t scare me. It just emphasized how upset the allegations made him.
“Swear it,” I said, looking at him.
He scoffed, nearly laughing at me. “Do you really think I would be free to go where I wanted if the cops knew I killed a girl?”
I tilted my head, thinking about it. Of course he wouldn’t, unless they just didn’t have proof. “But Tucker also said she was raped.” I swallowed, the darkness creeping back into the room.
