by Tara Lynn
God, I was so tired of being alone with myself.
I didn’t have to be though.
My phone buzzed.
Nearby, it read. He wanted to meet at a bar a few blocks down.
I sighed and chowed down the meat. What on earth was going on in my head? Thank god it was still just three. We could be back home and in our own separate beds by the time the sun set.
Everett was slumped at a table at the far end of a darkened bar. A slow band was playing, but my stepbrother's eyes were narrowed, fixed on the single light swaying above.
“Rett,” I said. “You ok?”
He didn't glance up. An empty tumbler sat next to him.
“How much have you had to drink?”
He took a while to answer. “What are you doing here?”
“I told you on text. I'm ready to go.”
“Go where?”
“Go home. Go back to Loving.” The words hit me odd and I glanced away, but he didn't seem to hear.
“The fuck?” He rubbed his eyes. “You said it was a two-day event.”
“I saw what I wanted to see.”
He looked up, his eyes gleaming like copper. I could not handle the intensity. He saw right through me as if he’d been sharpening his thoughts since I’d been gone. He always had. Maybe that’s why he avoided me.
But he didn't mention a word of it. He sipped at the remains of his drink.
“Can't go back tonight,” he said. “I'm not gonna sober up till sunset and I don't want to drive three hours in the dark.”
“You don't need to be sober to drive that thing, do you?”
“I do if I have passengers. Especially ones that should be living it up and not getting thrown off bikes.”
His gaze flickered up again, but warm this time. I had the urge to curl up into him and just rest there. The day had worn us both out somehow.
“So what then?” I said instead.
“We do what I was going to do. Stay the night, leave tomorrow.”
“Ok.” I shuffled around, looked at the time.
We were going to be awhile.
Everett pulled back a chair. “Stay and listen,” he said. “We don't have to talk.”
So I slumped down next to him. The waitress came. I considered asking for alcohol, but it didn't seem likely to work, so I spent some more money I didn't really have to spend on an overpriced soda. Everett and I sat forearm to forearm, watching the music stream off stage. It was seductive and sensual, jazz more than my usual blues. It promised release more than recovery.
That was fine by me.
If I closed my eyes, we were lying right back on that bed, sound and heat, and the steady pulse of his heart next to me. A couple hours slipped by, calm and cozy.
Everett started pounding water after awhile. We paid up and stepped back into the setting sun. He told me he had an appetite. I realized his words had no double meaning. I took him back to the barbecue place and we got a big meaty plate and tore through that on a patio table.
“The school that bad?” he asked finally.
“It’ll be fine. It’s just seeing everyone there at once that makes me realize how big it all is.”
“Even for Miss Laser Clark, huh? Well, then good thing I don’t have to deal. Would be far too much for the likes of me.”
I couldn’t speak without spitting food, so I didn’t say how he could wipe the floor with the soft faced boys at that place. By the time I swallowed, the thought had passed. Why stir up things? Better to just enjoy what was.
We talked about 6th street instead. My voice came back full strength as I told him about the history of the place, of bars I planned to check out. He listened, and I felt my hairs rise for the first time picturing my life here.
But in those dreams, Rett sat next to me, arm to arm, him and the music inseparable.
“What about you?' I said. “You haven't been here in a while. You like what you see?”
His eyes snapped back to me. My body heated in a flash.
After some moments, he glanced off at the neon lit signs and the glowing towers not far beyond. His leather cut hung open and he sat shrugged back, his thick forearms gripping the armrest, the lines of his chest fighting his shirt. A streetlight hung above us, casting it all in sharp reality.
“It looks like a fine place to live,” he said. “No room for a guy like me though.”
“There’s all sorts of people here,” I said. “You can always ride through to visit.”
His eyes narrowed, and I became very interested in my brisket. Even I didn't know what I’d meant. I just wanted him here. Was that so bad? This school and this city were so vast – I needed someone to rely on. Maria counted, but Rett felt so much more solid.
I thought of what a visit might entail though and a fuse lit. Not one like at registration - the explosion at the end of this one I didn’t want in public either, but I did want it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Nothing felt more right all day than this time with Rett. I didn’t have to be anyone else around him. I barely had to say anything at all. We knew each other deep down, closer even than most blood relations.
Why did I have to fight that connection so hard? I’d ridden here on his chopper, hadn’t I? And other than cracking every bone in my body, it hadn’t made me into something I wasn’t. UT-Austin hadn’t made me become someone else. If I saw Rett here, and not the biker, then my eyes didn’t deceive me.
They certainly didn’t deceive me about how gorgeous he looked. All I had to do was unchain my mind and I'd start smoldering.
“I might just ride through then,” Rett said, stretching and yawning like a lion. “But that's no easy drive. It would have to be worth it.”
A silence passed, and his eyes landed back on me. “Think there might be something on offer?”
I came loose inside, but I kept it cool. “The music's not enough?” I said.
His mouth crept into a smile. “I suppose there's more than one thing I can enjoy.”
It was only seven when we drove over to a motel on the northeast edge of town. I tried to pay, but Rett got a room with a wad of cash. The desk clerk didn't ask and neither did I. I knew the broad answer, but tonight I didn’t want to think about that.
By the time we clicked through the door, I was long past needing to curl up under a blanket. Rett had gotten a room with twin beds. I set my stuff down and sat on the inner edge of mine. Rett sat facing me. My knees nearly brushed his.
“You going to sleep?” I asked.
Rett looked me over for a long while, my sheer blouse just air under his gaze. I breathed slowly.
“My head's feeling clear,” he said. “I thought you’re the one who needed to lie down.”
He gripped his wrist, as if holding himself from reaching for more. Just the sight of all that power so close to me had my heart pumping in my ears. Why not? The curtains were drawn. We were hours from where anyone knew us. Only a dim yellow fixture cast any light in the room. The air between us burned even hotter.
“I'm not so tired anymore,” I said.
“What do you feel like doing?”
My whole body burned for him, but I couldn't get the words out. I couldn't let myself want it so nakedly. This would be more than a mistake, more than lust. It would be a need, for his body, for him.
“Maybe we should just ride back,” I said. “Since we're both in the mood.”
Rett hunched in, his breath sweet and spicy on me. “Well that would be an awful waste of this room that we have.”
Nothing really waited for me in Loving. The one thing I ever really cared about was right here in this room with me.
I wanted him back. I wanted to belong again.
The a/c whirred to life. Under its cover, Everett leaned forward. His lips passed like flame just over my cheeks before they stopped near my ears.
“Let’s just ride, then,” he said.
I gasped involuntarily. “I don't know,” I said reflexively.
; “Like hell you don’t.”
His lips pressed into the edge of mine. I sank into them, like they could carry me, like I'd been waiting to fall.
He crossed and sat by me, tugged me into his lap, facing him. His cut lay open before me, and below a barely restrained coil of steel presses up against my aching desire. My breath ran out of me in ragged chunks, as we sat eye to eye.
This was my stepbrother, a gang member – I couldn’t just shut my eyes to that.
But I couldn't deny what I wanted either.
“I need you so much,” I said.
I kissed him back, fierce, wrapping myself around him tighter than any padding. He didn't give an inch, just ran his arms along my back as his lips moved hungrily on me. He pulled me even tighter, spread my legs further along his waist. The thick bolt rose higher against me. I almost dripped straight through onto him.
I ripped my mouth of his and looked at him, sucking in air.
“Just fuck me,” I said. “I don't want to wait. “Fuck me now.”
He groaned as if I’d spoken the words with my mouth around him below. “Christ, girl, do you know how much you turn me on?”
I fumbled for his waist. “Show me.”
He sat us up and practically ripped his jeans down to the waist. His cock shot up through the flap of his boxer, hard and fierce and hot. I cupped it, and he sighed like he was dying. I started stroking up and down the thickness of it, but he stopped me.
“No,” he said, tugging me off. “I need to be in you.”
He undid my jean button and yanked me bare to my knees. I sat wet and fresh and open, just above him. I nearly shivered, but his cock pressed up, molten. A vast ache blossomed within, warm and just aching to be filled.
Very slowly, I slid down over him. His width coursed up deep into me, intruding inch by inch, until I didn't even know what room it could have left. I was so full of him.
“Oh, fuck.”
Everett's gorgeous eyes were shut as if I were a drug, as if I were medicine. He swelled in me even tighter, and I cried out.
I landed bare on his lap, full of his thick hot warmth.
Everett kissed me. “Dance, baby,” he said. “Make us feel good.”
I sat up on my knees and came back down. Even the short stroke felt excruciatingly beautiful. I did it faster and nearly blacked out at the white rush.
I wasn't drunk or tired. I knew what I was doing. Rett had put me in charge. There’d be no going back this time. I looked down and saw his cock in me, saw it disappear deeper, felt it hard and wrong and vast as it ripped me open, tore me free.
I rode him harder.
His fingers dug into my back, making my body tight to his until I could feel his strength rippling even through his shirt. He started moving me up and down, harder and faster that I ever could. My power dulled as his took over. I ducked into his shoulder and moaned as he split me in reverse.
Everett had been my strength. He still was. He set me free, but when I needed him, he’d be there to finish.
He ran his full length up me again, over and over. My world went white. How had I lived without this so long? One night couldn't be enough.
Our shirts dampened, and then our sweat ran into each other. We sank deeper into each other. Everett wound my hair with a damp hand and pulled me off him. He pressed our lips together and I drank him in, exertion dripping down both our faces. The a/c rattled useless at the edge of the room.
Still kissing, he moved me up and down again and soon my world consisted of his tongue and his cock parting me above and below. I dug my nails through him, squealed into his mouth and exploded around him. He kept fucking me, rising the waves of pleasure higher and higher. I was his toy, his doll, a puppet under his rough command.
I wanted nothing more.
He kissed me one last time, pulled me off and let me tumble to the bed.
“You don't want to finish?” I gasped,
He tugged off his cut and then his shirt, and his muscles came gleaming into view. My mouth lay open but I had nothing else to fill them with.
“Finish?” he said.
He pulled up my shirt and nuzzled down my bra, sucking a nipple into his mouth. I arched into him, instantly feeling my need arise again below.
Rett lifted off and smiled like a wolf, his long angular face dripping with more hunger than sweat.
“Baby, I've been waiting forever for us,” he said. “I'm just beginning.”
He set to work on me, and one last coherent thought flitted through me.
I’d found what I needed in Austin after all.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Everett
I slept four hours before shooting awake. The faintest line of light marked the dawn out on the curtains.
The day wasn't up, but I sure as hell was. The a/c turned the air arctic, but I burned rock hard under the sheets.
And that was even before I looked over and caught sight of her.
Liza's back was to me, small and lush even with the sheets pulled over her. Her light hair spilled out over the top in a tumble, frayed from all the friction it had endured under my command. It rustled faintly with her breath.
I rubbed my hands warm under the blanket and lay a hand on her bare shoulder, sidling up as close as I could to her form without entering. The heat of her entrance me, beckoned me home, but I waited and watched.
The sunrise dug deeper out past the curtains. I lay still and observed. I'd stopped dreaming of this years ago, except in drunken flights of hope. But my imagination was shit compared to the real thing.
I could lie an eternity in this moment and not feel it a waste.
Some time past, Liza flipped over my way. I lay so under her spell, that my hand fell down her chest, squeezing her flesh along the way. Her eyes sparked wide awake.
“It's only me,” I said, smiling.
I’d imagined the words to be more comforting. She lay an arm around me, but her eyes drifted over me, distant as if she were studying an unlabeled lab experiment.
Oh I could remind her.
I kissed her harsh on her mouth. Even just awake, her breath was delicious. Her eyes went wide, but I wanted them narrowed, lost in me. That vision would lift me out of any abyss – could take me higher than I dreamed possible.
I cupped her breast.
She tugged my hand away from me.
“Rett, wait,” She whispered, as if the world were listening.
“We can take it slow. I’m just refreshing your memory.”
“I remember what happened.”
“Remember how you feel about it.”
She shut her eyes and stretched deliciously. More of her came out of the sheets, the lush form I had occupied so completely. I pulled the sheet further until the hard red dot of her breast came free. I sucked it into my mouth, swirling it with my tongue until a moan escaped. It sounded wild and unplanned, and that nearly made me explode below on its own.
She grabbed clumps of my hair uselessly, but then she tugged hard and I lifted off.
“Rett,” she said harshly. “Stop it.”
“Why?” I licked her rosy nub again. She bucked but kept holding me.
“Cause it's morning.”
“And you want to forget last night?” I shook my head in her grip. “No, that's not happening. You said you needed me.”
“I did need you. I love how right it feels when I’m with you. But…that’s here. We have to back to Loving.”
She picked up her phone off the side table, and started tapping. It must be that Mexican girl she was always with – pulling her back to reality.
Loving. How fucked up was that name. The town itself kept us from fulfilling what it promised. All that awaited us there would be a clock ticking down – until I became more my leather than myself, until she became more memory than flesh.
I took her phone and set it back away.
“I remember where we’re headed. It’s back to the bed I first fucked you in. It’s to the bed where we first cam
e together all over weeks ago.”
“Just once. And we almost got caught.”
